The Middle of the Story

[bratanimus]

Title: The Middle of the Story
Author: bratanimus
Rating & Warnings: PG-13 for talk of death, gross slug activity
Prompts: Day of screams, flesh-eating slugs, horror, and location #18 (the tree)
Word Count: 2,254
Summary: A ghost story that started with an ending, and finished with a beginning.
Author’s Note: A big THANK YOU to ladybracknell for her beta and

Comments

[lady_bracknell]

I think I may already have said how much I loved this, but I saved a bit of gushing, just for the pleasure of saying so again ;).

I think this is just perfect. Although at the start, I was unsure about who the narrator was - were we looking at a traditional ghost story, something on the WWN, even, but once it becomes apparant that it is Remus, his voice is just perfect. I think it's all in there, his love for his son, his regrets about what he sees as personal failing, and yet that sense of dignity and nobility Remus always has, too.

I think the actual story of the haunting is inspired - I love that this isn't a friendly ghost story, that they're actually an unwelcome presence if not a malevolant one, and the idea of Andromeda really wanting rid of them and them not able to let go seems so sad, yet fitting, too. And believable.

And for all the supernatural elements at play here, I think it's the believability of the emotions - that of course a parent would want to stay with their baby in whatever way they could, but that slowly the reality would dawn that much as that's what they want, it's not what Teddy needs - that makes this so compelling and heart-wrenching.

That you do that in a story that also features decomposing corpses and flesh-eating slugs is all the more remarkable. Great stuff :D.

[bratanimus]

*shudders at the spooky guys from Hush* ;)

I'm so glad that you thought Remus' voice was believable in this, even though I deliberately tried to keep it confusing for a bit as to who exactly was speaking and who was reading. ;)

And I'm very pleased that you liked the unwelcome haunting; I figured this Andromeda would still be angry at them for leaving, and the hurt would still be too fresh, for her to want to see them. And of course Remus and Tonks, once they'd seen Teddy again, would have a hell of a time leaving. Thanks for pointing out the theme of parents' wants versus child's needs; I think it's a mark of a good parent who can put the child first, which of course R/T had to do here, even though it was horribly painful (and of course Remus would want to be honest and yet shield Teddy as much as he could from the knowledge of just how painful that was).

Hee hee, I thought the decomposing, slug-eaten corpses would provide comic relief a nice counterpoint to the emotions flying around, plus ground it solidly in the horror/ghost story genre, lol. Glad you liked it. ;)

Thank you again for your help, and for your very thoughtful review. :D