Comments | meresy: I'm taking another run at it. Save me!

meresy

I'm taking another run at it. Save me!

Jan 02, 2009 23:50

So, reading Twilight again. For the lulz, I assure you. I got to 36 pages! It's slow going. I mean, wtf? There are people out there who honestly think this is excellent writing? Like, I could give you guilty entertainment and forgive you bad taste, but... it's not good. It isn't ( Read more... )

do not want, glutton for punishment, wtf, books, no value

Comments 85

malnpudl January 3 2009, 04:59:46 UTC

HAHAHAHAHA!!! *points and laughs*

(I can get away with this only because I'm a survivor myself.)

meresy January 3 2009, 05:01:53 UTC

Maaaaaaaal. It is like a black hole of bad high school fic. Like a plane crashing. I can't look away. :O

I think I wrote this book when I was fourteen? I think I should sue...

malnpudl January 3 2009, 05:15:19 UTC

I KNOW I wrote it when I was fourteen. But I had enough shame to destroy the evidence. *g*

meresy January 3 2009, 05:19:03 UTC

I know, right? I think I personally melted that floppy disk. Heh.

souncanadian January 3 2009, 05:03:16 UTC

I started the 4th one yesterday. IT HURTS.

meresy January 3 2009, 05:04:17 UTC

D:

I... don't think I will get that far.

souncanadian January 3 2009, 05:08:56 UTC

I've got an arrangement going with my sister. I read the saga, she watches due South.

The things I do for my show...

meresy January 3 2009, 05:10:29 UTC

D:

She is getting the better deal by, like, thousands of miles. PARSECS.

/o\

Thread 8

akamine_chan January 3 2009, 05:09:09 UTC

Meres, you have a fireplace. Use it! USE EET!

meresy January 3 2009, 05:10:56 UTC

It's a pdf and I'm not at hooooome. D:

akamine_chan January 3 2009, 05:12:29 UTC

Ah, well. You're screwed. *hugs you*

innocentsmith January 3 2009, 05:12:47 UTC

The thing that especially bugs me about the klutziness is that it's not like real life klutziness, which in my experience involves less actual falling down and needing to be rescued, and more spilling chili down your white shirtfront. (Not that this has ever happened to me.) But god forbid Bella do anything that's actually unattractive.

It's like the way people who are ugly in such novels are ugly like "I am thin and willowy, insufficiently full of womanly curves!" or "my awful red hair refuses to curl, insisting on flowing sleekly down my back in a Titian flood of silk!" or "I am afflicted with this terrible, intriguing scar on my face from my early childhood trauma, ask me how I got it!" instead of, like, "I have acne."

meresy January 3 2009, 05:18:07 UTC

Right?! Like, I bruise myself on coffee tables as often as the next person, maybe more, but it's not endearing -- it's just painful! Also, I'm more likely to knock other things over than fall down myself. =/

Also, lack of grace in gym class isn't a hallmark of klutziness, per se. It's... lack of grace. Some people are not athletes!

And YES. It's all about "flaws." Nothing that would impede your progress in being OMG SO LOVED in high school. Like, you know, being honestly a little unfortunate-looking. No, all she needs is a makeover and all shall see her beauty! Pfft.

innocentsmith January 3 2009, 05:36:04 UTC

Honestly, if a female character did spill food all over herself I would find it endearing, kind of. Bella just seriously needs to get her inner ear checked.

I do find it amusing how incredibly closely she follows the Mary Sue formula, though: clumsinessTM has always been a classic "flaw." It's sort of amazing Bella's eyes don't change color.

I did read an interesting meta thing the other day, though, that posited that YA novels being designed to appeal to an audience about 2-4 years younger than the protagonist, it made sense that 12 year old girls would find Bella's life credible and appealing. Like, having your own car and the ability to choose what to make for dinner are a BIG DEAL when you're twelve, and some guy who has no personality but is obsessed with you sounds great when you're still at the stage of, "I kind of think I might like bouys, since that seems to be what I'm supposed to do. Just...not any of these idiot boys I actually know, who seem to spend most of their time making lame jokes and lighting their farts ( ... )

meresy January 3 2009, 05:39:41 UTC

Yeah, I can forgive the preteens their bad taste. I liked some pretty lamesauce fiction back then, too. Even some stuff, which, in retrospect, had troubling messages even when it was decent entertainment.

Grown-ass women thinking this is OMGSOGOOD? I... don't even know. D: I'll try to get my stepmother to explain it to me, I guess. =/

zabira January 3 2009, 05:15:07 UTC

STEP AWAY FROM THE SPARKLY VAMPIRES.

srsly. back away slowly.

<3

meresy January 3 2009, 05:21:51 UTC

*clings*

Help me, Z!

(OMG, I am now at the part where he asks her to go to Seattle with him and what the fuck? I mean, what the fuck! They've barely spoken! All she does is give him flack! He just stares at her across rooms. WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM D: D: D: Dude, seriously, ask her on a normal date you stalkery weirdo. Though WHY you want to...)

zabira January 3 2009, 05:24:34 UTC

that book MAKES ME SO MAD. it's just...OMG, TAKE IT AWAY. it's a HORRIBLE example to set for people. /o\ massive, terrifying FAIL, FAIL, FAIL.

meresy January 3 2009, 05:28:26 UTC

Yes! It's like, he, young girls, if you have no personality whatsoever and are self-sacrificing and, I don't know, cook dinner for the dad you can't bring yourself to show affection towards YOU TOO can go on romantical road trips with dashing, deadpan, sparkly boys whom you can't understand because they are JACKASSES.

Amirite?

Thread 26