Eternal - Chapter 5

[meheartyunho]

Title: Eternal
Author: meheartyunho
Length: Chaptered (5/?)
Pairing: Yunjae
Genre: Angst, Romance, AU, Supernatrual, Violence, Drama
Rating: Nc-17
Summary: When you get the impossible and reached a point where you wanted, needed to claim it, what were you to do? Especially when the impossible was the love and affair of your sister’s fiancé, when the year was 1873 and men shouldn’t feel anything but the urge for a family and wealth.
But what if you ran away and got another shot at the impossible? What if you had no other choice? You just had to learn how to live with the thirst, the hormones, the fights and the bloody, lusty, animalistic sex.
Beta: hubby fi_chan <3
Banner made by my sweetheart steorie <3

Previous:
Prologue 1 2 3 4

Chapter 5

They were both back at home, Jaejoong sitting by himself by his window. This was his last night gazing out as this familiar view; it was his last night in this room. He would never see the moon like this again, from this angle, behind the same trees. He would never be able to look down on the small houses and imagine what was going on. But he wasn’t grieving. What he felt was a strange mixture of excitement and loneliness.

His chin balanced on his open palm, his back hunched as he looked at everything he could. His bag was packed, but despite his promise to Yunho he still wasn’t sure. It took a lot from him; no one that mattered any less than what Yunho meant to him could have made him do this-abandon his home to create a new one. He was spoiled; Yunho had spoiled him with love. Back when he thought his feelings were one-sided he would have sacrificed anything to hear words like those from Yunho’s mouth. Now he wasn’t so sure. Not when he had given it some thought.

He sighed and got up, putting on a thick woollen sweater before stepping out onto the cold balcony. He sat down, wrapping the long sweater around his whole body until even his feet were buried inside. His black hair covered the sides of his face and he tilted his head up, staring at nothing and everything. There was nothing special to see; yet his everything was there. The same sky, the same stars, the same patterns in the wall he was leaning up against. The air was chilling him from the inside out, his fingers a tight ball pressed together inside the sleeves. He was supposed to meet Yunho soon… He had said goodnight to his parents, and it killed him that it had to be kept a secret. That he couldn’t even give them a proper goodbye.

He had left a note, a brief one. It was on his bed-he wouldn’t be sleeping tonight anyway. He had written shortly about how he was in love, not with whom, but that he had left to find happiness that he was sure he couldn’t find in this town. He had written that they should never blame themselves and that he loved them, that he was sorry. He said that maybe they would see each other again, even though he knew that it wasn’t true. He just couldn’t tell them that. They needed hope.

He lived on hope; everyday he hoped that it would work out between him and Yunho. Everyday he loved the man more, and hoped and prayed that it wouldn’t fade for his beloved. He now hoped that they would find a place to stay, somewhere peaceful they could live with each other and be accepted. Maybe, just maybe, they could fool a village to believe that they were brothers, make up fake names and live a normal life in public. Live a romantic one in privacy.

It was his happiest scenario right now, the most realistic one he could think of. He didn’t want to get his hopes up in believing in something that just wouldn’t come true in the end.

The moon was full, cloud free and bright. Maybe Yunho was looking at it too-there wasn’t really anything left to do when you were waiting to escape. He smiled, blew the moon a kiss and imagined it bouncing back to Yunho. He found himself doing that a lot.

The constellations were just as clear in the sky, and he wished he could someday take a closer look. It fascinated him to the point that it was painful not being able to explore the sky further.

That was actually one of the things he looked forward to-exploring something outside this town with Yunho. Seeing more of Korea, and more of Yunho- more with Yunho. It made up for it all, strangely enough. He couldn’t even begin to explain it-how one man could make up for his whole family. How Yunho’s affection made him completely forget about where he was and that it was wrong. But it didn’t feel wrong, so it couldn’t be downright bad… right?

The next thing he knew there was a chilling wind hitting him in the face, making his eyes open. He blinked, confused that he was still out on the balcony.

“I must have fallen asleep…” He stood up, stretching his tingling legs and went inside. The room was warm and he sighed in bliss. His fingers were practically chunks of ice right now. He looked over at his clock and then at his bag. He hadn’t slept for even an hour, which meant it was almost time to go. Anxiety crept up on him and he crawled up on his bed, making his way forward on his knees. The fluffy pillows supported his back when he lied down and he sniffed them, hoping to catch at least a whiff of Yunho in them. They had spent countless of nights in this bed, after all.

He stared forward with fingers brushing the piece of paper resting next to him. It was small, but dense like a stone. It held a lot of words, a lot of meaning. Some lies and some truths. He picked up the note next to him and read it through until tears burned his eyes. He knew his doubt was just something he felt at the moment. The second he’d see Yunho he would feel happy again and bubbly with excitement. He couldn’t wait to run into his arms and feel that this was what he wanted. He knew it was.

But he also knew that he loved his parents, and they knew he did. His mother had given him life, and he felt like he was being ungrateful, but he surely wasn’t. She had given him life, a life he wanted to live and choose whom to live it with. He would always love his parents for this, for giving him an opportunity to live and get to know this other man he now lived for. He wasn’t ungrateful, just seizing what was given to him by his beloveds.

He felt lucky, extremely so. When all his other family members had been forced into arranged marriages he had felt a bit left out at first. His sisters were always the center of attention, the most important ones for the family to keep their status and wealth. He was the youngest, a bit of an awkward rebel that they would ‘handle later’. But, while his sisters had been practically sold to an unknown man, he was left in privacy to fall in love. To hand his heart out for free and get one back just as effortlessly. Not that the road to get there was effortless, but it certainly was better than an arranged marriage with a girl he wasn’t even sexually attracted to. It was like giving a dog a cat. He didn’t want a sly, fierce little cat; he wanted someone like himself. Someone calm, but playful, someone that was his opposite, but at the same time just like him.

He put the note back and felt his face. The tears were gone and replaced by a gentle smile. Despite the turmoil and the decision he couldn’t be happier. A thought of Yunho and he lit up like the moon. He rose and climbed off the bed, straightening the bed sheets after him. He wanted a minimum presence of himself. He figured it might be easier that way…

Discovering an empty room and no son was easier than discovering an empty room full of traces of a lost one.

He shut the door carefully, treading down the stairs as quietly as possible. The mansion was big, and as long as he could pass by his sister’s room unnoticed he would make it just fine. But you could never be sure. Besides, there was something heavily uncomfortable about making noises in the lonely dark. Halfway down the stairs he had to stop. He looked up a final time, knowing that his sister was sleeping up there. She wasn’t expecting a thing, especially not this. This wasn’t something she deserved. She was a wonderful woman, a wonderful sister and most probably would be an amazing wife and mother. But not to Yunho, and not to Yunho’s children. Not to something that belonged to him. No matter how much he loved her, he would not let her have that.

And if it was something he meant then he had to move. He did. He went out the front door and past the yard. The gravel crunched underneath his soles and he was suddenly all the more frightened by the robbers in case they found him again. He knew they wouldn’t settle for only a robbery, or a murder. Young flesh was not something they gladly missed out on. It didn’t matter if he was a man. He shuddered at the thought and kept moving, trying to keep his sounds to a minimum.

Forest covered both sides of him and he wished they could have met at another time. The break of dawn would have been better. The smallest of sunlight had been enough…

Sounds of various animals flew all over; owls, deer, foxes. He could only pray that anything with a sense for flesh and blood would choose those over him. Hopefully the forest was filled with rabbits.

They had decided to meet by the market, just by the church. Maybe not the best location for him to feel comfortable and blessed, but he doubted that God, if there was one, would have put them together just to separate them again. At least he hoped so. Maybe God enjoyed playing pranks on homosexuals and anyone else who went against Christian belief. He hoped not-he prayed to him. Often. It started just once a week when he was 15, when he met Yunho he started praying every night. He had prayed twice this night for his help to get out of this safely and happily.

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Yunho was waiting nervously by the church. The grass was slightly icy, the temperatures dropping low during the night. The roses were the same faint icy white, the red not quite able to glow through it. His hands were buried deep in his pockets; the gloves on his large hands warmed them enough not to freeze. The wall he was leaning on stretched high and he felt extremely safe here. This building was something he had always found calmness and trust in. Meeting here felt better than a backyard alley. God watched out for him, he was sure of it. That was also one reason that calmed him when Jaejoong was still nowhere in sight. Nothing would happen to him if he was walking toward God’s house. Nothing would happen when Yunho was there waiting for him.

The only thing that frightened him was Jaejoong changing his mind. He knew that he had to leave; he didn’t have what Jaejoong had. He didn’t have a saying-he was under the pressure that matched the one from a mountain. If he said no to Joo-Eun another girl would be thrown at him until he agreed. Not getting married just wasn’t an option, so it was either leaving with Jaejoong and find his happiness with him (that he had most of as long as he had Jaejoong), or leave alone and live like that for the rest of his life. He’d probably die on the way to another town anyway. Either that or he’d make sure he did. As long as Jaejoong thought he was still alive it was fine… Jaejoong didn’t need to feel guiltier than he already did.

Just as the depressing thoughts started digging deeper and almost forming into a plan, the sound of light, hurried footsteps caught his attention. They rounded a corner right in front of him and he smiled, relief washing over him like the soft waves of the ocean.

He was walking quickly, bag in one hand holding his pace down. From the distance he almost looked crippled. He neared the church and Yunho could see his eyes frantically looking around and he figured it was time to step out of his shadows. His smile was still intact when he picked up his bag and moved forward.

“Hi,” he said, putting his bag down by his feet when he was close enough. Jaejoong did the same, smiling and moving into his arms like bees to honey.

“Hey… I was afraid you had left. I’m late.” Yunho only shook his head, kissing the top of Jaejoong’s forehead and then his mouth, the interlock lasting quite long. Mm, honey indeed.

“Of course not. I’m just incredibly happy that you showed up.”

“Doubting me, are we?” he teased, still tightly pressed against Yunho’s chest, hands stroking the strong and safe back. Yunho shook his head again, resting his chin on the black hair.

“Not you. Just doubting if I’m good enough to give up everything for.”

“Well...” He pulled away, arms still intact around Yunho’s waist. “Don’t doubt it again. You know how much I love you,” he said, softer this time, just like his mesmerizing eyes. “At least you should know.”

“I know.” He leaned down to peck his mouth again. He took a deep breath, tucking the soft strands behind Jaejoong’s ears and holding onto his cheeks. “Are you ready for this? I don’t want you to live with me regretting it all… That would kill me.” It was true. He never wanted to make Jaejoong do anything he didn’t truly want. And sooner or later his parents would put two and two together. They would realise who it was he had escaped with. If he then came crawling back, would they accept him? Probably not. It would kill him and it would kill Yunho to be left by him. It would kill Jaejoong’s family to shun him and realise that their only son was gay. At least this way their parents knew that they were happy somewhere in this country. If they now got to that acceptance. If they even cared after finding out their secret…

“I’m sure of this, Yunho. Like I said, don’t doubt me.” He looked right at Yunho and he didn’t really have any other choice than to believe him. He was just so incredibly happy he was here… “So,” he let go of him and bent down to pick up his bag, “are we going?” They had brought enough money to make it for a while, at least until they got to another town. Hopefully a bigger one where they could blend in and where it wouldn’t be hard for them to find a job.

“I guess we are…” Yunho picked his up as well, turning back toward the church one last time to close his eyes and kiss the crucifix around his neck. He turned back to Jaejoong, without saying anything. Jaejoong was observing what he could see of the dark houses. Remembering the times they had met here, remembering walking the market with friends and family. There would never be anymore of that. But they didn’t mind, even though it was a sad thought. Loving more openly was ahead of them, daring a bit of affection in the shadows of a new town. No one would see them a second time anyway, and no one most probably cared in a town that big-the kind they were aiming for.

They walked north; away from the centre of the town they called home. As long as they got out and away from the houses they could feel safe enough to talk and laugh and enjoy their trip with each other. It was, after all, an adventure.

Soon the road thinned out, turning into a one-way direction. A big problem in other words if two carts happened to meet. But that was the thing-no one really moved from one town to another; they stayed where they were and built their lives there. Generation after generation building at the same place. Except for when a daughter got wedded of course. Then she had to move away with her husband. But most families aimed for a son, a son that stayed near them and built his family with them. A son neither of them would be…

Jaejoong couldn’t help but to wonder who his sister would be married to now. He felt guilty; she must be humiliated… Ashamed of him… He lowered his gaze as they travelled, the sadness he knew would come already giving him a taste of the bitterness. A soft hand sneaked up next to his, drawing him inside until he was walking hand in hand with Yunho, his head resting against Yunho’s arm.

“You’re not having second thoughts already, are you?” he asked after a while of intimate walking, knowing better than to immediately disturb him.

“Never,” was his only answer and then he got quiet again, looking up at the night sky. The stars were fading as the light entered in the horizon. The thin rays of sun melted the crisp air and the frozen drops of dew on the plants and grass-a beautiful sight they could both stop to look at. Neither of them had seen it like this before-despite being awake at sinful hours with one another. There was something breathtaking about standing quietly in the middle of nature, seeing the natural circle of how it really looked, of how God intended it to be. It filled them both with a warmth that couldn’t be explained as anything else but happiness. Especially now, being away from their hometown. They couldn’t even see a house anymore. “To think I’ve missed this everyday for 18 years…”

“I’ve always admired sunsets…” Yunho said slowly, looking around as the sun rose higher, trees shining with the orange light of life. “But I have to say this is far better.”

“Yes…” he agreed, shoulder to shoulder with Yunho. A new day forming in front of his eyes. A new day, all with Yunho. He really wished he had his piano right now. He wanted nothing more than to transform this view into a tune. Calm and rising in beat, light and graceful. But something easy and natural-an everyday happening. He tugged uneasily with the hand that was clasped in Yunho’s. “We should get going.” They weren’t far away enough from the town-not as much as he wanted to be at least, before the sun was high in the sky. He was sure they would send people out to search as soon as they found his empty bedroom. It would be a few hours, but still. He wanted to have come quite far before that happened.

“You’re right. Let’s go.” They started moving again, whistling along with the twittering birds and laughing at the other. They would have to be walking for the rest of the day, not able to rest in an inn today if they were searched for.

They had been walking for more than an hour, and the sun was now fully up in the sky. It burned their backs and was a sweaty nuisance, but despite that they enjoyed the sunshine. There was something glorious about the whole day.

“I spy with my little eye…something…” Jaejoong looked around before finally deciding, “black.”

“Raven.” Yunho confidently guessed and Jaejoong just turned away for the fifth time in fake annoyance.

“You cheat.” Yunho laughed again, pinching his ear and shaking Jaejoong’s head softly.

“Yeah, I read your mind. Sorry, I’ll stop if it bothers you.” Yunho said sarcastically while Jaejoong just grinned. They wandered slowly on the small path, now in the green forest making their way toward a bigger road.

“This whole game bothers me. You bother me.”

“Well someone’s a sore loser,” Yunho sang, poking Jaejoong in his sensitive side.

“I am not!” he argued, drawing back from him to walk in amongst the moist leaves and stems. Yunho stayed on the path, just smiling at the troubles Jaejoong was having walking through the greenery and over uneven ground.

“You sure it’s worth walking in there just to be away from me?” he teased, skipping a bit forward and away from Jaejoong’s struggling form. Twigs broke and water splashed, along with a few cuss words here and there. “Not talking to me?” He got no answer and he just laughed at the sensitive, spontaneous silliness that was Jaejoong. “Okay then. I guess I’ll just sit here on this dry rock and eat our lunch by myself.”

He stopped by a grey boulder and sat down, resting his bag in between his feet. He grabbed a fruit and a piece of bread before closing the bag again. He bit into the red apple, the juice killing the burning sensation of thirst in his body. They had to save as much water as possible, at least until they found somewhere to rest and eat for an evening. The shuffling of feet neared him and another body sat down next to him. Yunho handed him his bread, focusing entirely on the fruit in his hand while trying not to smile too big when Jaejoong scooted closer to get underneath Yunho’s arm. Yunho complied, wrapping his arm around Jaejoong’s warm shoulders and kissed the top of his head.

His hair was warm from the sun and he sniffed it while he chewed, watching Jaejoong tear off small pieces of sesame bread before chewing slowly, taking his time eating.

“I’m thirsty.” Yunho showed him his apple and Jaejoong took out a big chunk, sucking on the fruit in his dry mouth and practically groaning from the juiciness. “Next time the apple is mine,” he said, stuffing more bread into his mouth and gave the last handful to Yunho.

“Well, hopefully we’ll find somewhere to stay tonight. I could use a warm meal. You need to eat more than an apple.” Call him spoiled but it was the way he was raised, and just because you were on the run it didn’t mean you had to live under terrible conditions. Besides, he probably would have been a bit cheaper if it wasn’t for Jaejoong. Seeing the man sleeping on hard, cold ground and gnawing on pieces of bread wasn’t exactly the fairytale he wanted to offer him.

“Guess we have to keep walking then if we’re going to find a guest house before it gets dark.” Jaejoong stood up and stretched, gnawing off the last bites on the apple before throwing it away, landing with a thud on the green leaves. Yunho followed, swung his bag up on one shoulder and walked after Jaejoong who had already taken off. He pondered and observed while Jaejoong entertained himself with making his way forward by jumping from rock to rock. His arms were stretched for balance and his tongue was out of his lips-a habit he had when concentrating.

“Make sure you keep that thing tucked in-a bird may poop on it,” Yunho called after him and he turned around on a rock, hands on hips and stuck his tongue out further.

“When did you ever keep your thing away, huh?” he teased back with raised eyebrows and Yunho laughed as Jaejoong smirked mischievously in victory and turned around to get back to his skipping.

“You don’t use it the way I do!” Yunho argued back and Jaejoong turned to look at him from over his shoulder, but continued skipping.

“Oh, you mean uselessly and boringly?”

“HEY!” Yunho barked in fake anger, pride immensely hurt and he took off after the skipping boy who didn’t notice anything until it was too late.

“Ahh!” He was pulled down from the rocks, Yunho’s strong arms breaking his fall, but also causing his fall. He was pressed down on the ground, laughing as Yunho pinned him down to tickle his sides. “Stoooop!”

“Take it back!” Yunho’s fingers continued their attack to his sensitive ribs and he tried all his might to cover his body, hands turning out to be useless against Yunho’s.

“Okay, okay! I give!” he shouted finally, feeling like he was going to wet himself if the torture continued. He lay there breathing for a while, trying to catch his lost breath. “Don’t ever tickle me again…” he breathed out and Yunho grinned, stroking Jaejoong’s hair away from the smooth forehead.

“I’ve had practice,” he stated proudly, this time stroking Jaejoong’s hurting sides with his palms.

“I can see that,” he said, closing his eyes before opening them again with a newfound glint and Yunho had no troubles guessing his ego would take another bruise. “Why is it that I never see those finger skills in bed?”

“Ha-ha,” Yunho replied sourly and rolled his eyes before heaving himself up and off the body underneath him. “I could tickle you in your sleep if that’s what you want.” At this Jaejoong turned slightly pale, mouth forming into a nasty grimace.

“Not unless you want to walk around with a black eye.” Yunho chuckled again and he leaned down to brush the dirt from his knees while Jaejoong did the same with his back and dirtied behind. He walked up when he noticed the obvious efforts Jaejoong was making to get the dirt off of his jumper and he brushed it off, making sure nothing unwanted stuck to his back or pants.

“There. Clean as a virgin.” Jaejoong only scoffed and choked a laugh, making Yunho grin wider and kiss the back of his neck before pushing him forward on the road by putting his hands on his waist. “Come on, we really should pick up the pace.”

They didn’t have to go far until they reached the big road, following it forward. Hopefully it wouldn’t take many hours until they found somewhere to spend the night. Walking during the night wasn’t an option, even if he was with Yunho. He felt safe with Yunho next to him, immortal even, but it couldn’t be helped. He knew that Yunho was only human, and sometimes sheer will and adrenaline to protect what was dear to you just wasn’t enough.

Sleeping on the ground could be one way to do it, but you never knew what lurked out there, and if the temperature dropped low enough they could be in danger. They would, in that case, have to prepare a temporary bed that offered them at least some protection, and if they were going to find a house they had no time to do that now. Strange how much you had to plan when you were, for once, free.

A/N: Happy new year everybody! :D I am dead from last night, along with many of you I suppose, so just relax in bed all day and read this while you eat leftovers and swallow down some aspirins hahah xD
Ohh so yunjae on the run now! What will happen? :O *hides in my bed* So sorry about the cheesiness, but bah, it's needed! XD Comments, my loves~? <3