Title: Eternal
Author:
meheartyunhoLength: Chaptered (3/?)
Pairing: Yunjae
Genre: Angst, Romance, AU, Supernatrual, Violence, Drama
Rating: Nc-17
Summary: When you get the impossible and reached a point where you wanted, needed to claim it, what were you to do? Especially when the impossible was the love and affair of your sister’s fiancé, when the year was 1873 and men shouldn’t feel anything but the urge for a family and wealth.
But what if you ran away and got another shot at the impossible? What if you had no other choice? You just had to learn how to live with the thirst, the hormones, the fights and the bloody, lusty, animalistic sex.
Beta: hubby
fi_chan <3
Banner made by my sweetheart
steorie <3
Previous:
Prologue 1 2 Chapter 3
It was nearing five when Yunho started to understand that something was definitely happening tonight. The maids set up a bath for him, brought him a very gorgeous tuxedo and prepared the horses and cart. He hadn’t heard anything from his father yet, and if it wasn’t for the missing cart he was sure his parents wouldn’t even have known he was gone the whole night. He had told them what happened, and instead of reacting like Jaejoong-freaking out and saying how stupid he was for risking his life-he only got a pat on the back from his father while his mother rolled her eyes, saying that he was just as risky as his dad.
He’d lie if he said it didn’t hurt, because it did. Was it too much to ask for some concern? He was 23, an adult, yes. But everybody needed the love and confirmation that if something were to happen your parents would be worried.
Brushing that aside he focused on getting clean. Maids would usually accompany them in the bathroom, but Yunho had since a very long time ago made sure that he was always alone in there. His father and mother, he guessed, had another view on their maids, a view that made maids feel like air. That was how they treated them. The maids’ presence with them might as well have been like a puppet or pet-nothing they felt embarrassed in front of. Ever.
He grabbed a brush and scrubbed his body thoroughly before leaning back to relax, allowing himself some time in the warm water. God, how he wished Jaejoong was in there with him. He had seen him yesterday and still he missed him like crazy already. He had taken a bath with Jaejoong once, an experience he’d gladly repeat several times over. They didn’t do anything sexual, just two men enjoying some time in the warm water with each other. He loved holding Jaejoong against him, especially when they were naked. It felt like there was nothing they couldn’t show or tell each other.
Yunho couldn’t deny though that there were other reasons he’d love to have a naked Jaejoong with him right now. It had been a week now since they last had sex, and for a couple high on love it was really starting to get painful, as crazy as it sounded. It wasn’t the orgasm he was longing for-he could have that all on his own. It was the closeness with him, the intimacy, the cuddling and kisses he wanted. Touching him was as pleasurable as being touched.
He sighed and stood up from the tub. If he stayed in there any longer with those thoughts he would definitely be late.
He got dressed quickly in his room before calling on his servants. They immediately came running to fix his hair even though none of them would tell him what was going on. So, patiently he had to sit in his chair while they ran to and fro for both him and his parents.
“Yunho.” He turned in his chair to look at his father in the doorway. Just like him he was dressed nicely and sophisticated, with a straight back and no hint of a smile on his face. “Are you ready?” Yunho stood up, shooing the maids away from his hair.
“Maybe if someone told me where I’m going.”
“To a party, of course.” He didn’t get to ask anything else; his father had already turned around to go down the stairs. Maids streamed out to follow him, probably to help him up in the cart and just be there in case they were needed. Yunho himself turned toward the mirror, looking at his reflection. Jaejoong had told him once that for him it was love at first sight. He really wondered what there was about himself to fall in love with. He didn’t have the guts to stick up to his parents; he proposed to a girl he didn’t love just to settle down. The only brave thing he had ever done was to kiss Jaejoong and finally tell himself that, yes, he was in love with a male. Saving them a few nights ago wasn’t brave in his eyes; it was just something that anyone would have done for another person.
“Sir, your parents are waiting.” He followed the maid without speaking, but opened his mouth the second he got out of the door.
“Why are we riding in the big cart?” He turned his head to the maid, hoping to get an answer from her. They only ever took it out at special occasions, when they had someone to impress or when they knew that the focus would be on them. Yunho immediately got nervous; what was going on? Who would they meet now, or why would they get everyone’s attention? He was used to it, but being in the limelight was never his preference.
“I-I’m sorry, sir, I’m not supposed to tell you.” She bowed apologetically and opened the door for him, silently urging him to get inside.
“Who told you not to tell me?” He didn’t get in, but before the poor maid could answer, his father’s voice interrupted them.
“Yunho! Stop wasting time and get in, we have to go.” He sighed and unwillingly climbed in, knowing better than to argue. It wouldn’t help him get on his father’s bad side.
“Why so secretive?” He received no reply from his father and instead turned to his mother. “Mother?”
“We told you you couldn’t know, didn’t we?” His father was starting to get tired; Yunho hated how impatient his father was. He was about to say something else but his father was faster. “Do you want to walk home, son?! We could certainly arrange that if you don’t start to listen. If we weren’t in such a rush I’d drop you off right here.” Yunho leaned back and kept quiet for the rest of the ride. This was often how their conversations went-either they didn’t talk, or they fought. They rarely conversed with a smile on their faces. He really wondered what had made his father so bitter.
Maybe he just needed someone around him with good intensions. The marriage between his parents was set up, lack of love tended to squeeze that nectar out of you too. He smiled to himself. His father needed a Jaejoong in his life.
It was too late for him now, but he’d be damned if he stole Yunho’s chance to a smile too.
Once they got there the sun was setting, the sky was pink and clear and the air still fresh after the afternoon rain. Everything had dried up nicely, only leaving behind a greener surrounding. He got out, took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It calmed him. He couldn’t pinpoint why he loved it so much, but it felt like his lungs were expanding every time he smelled the scent left behind after the small droplets of cold water. His thoughts jumbled when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Ready to go?”
He nodded toward his father, not really understanding what there was to be ready for. The pebbles and sticks crunched underneath his feet and for the first time he looked around without focusing on the nature-this time he was searching for something familiar. It didn’t take long until he found it; the ivory white cart stood just by the entrance, revealing that they apparently-along with Yunho’s family-were the main guests.
“Ja-” He stopped himself right on time, something that wasn’t easily done. Jaejoong’s name always managed to flow right off his tongue. “Joo-Eun is here?” he asked his father, recognizing the Kims’ cart and horse. The stern look from his father made him remember their argument and he pursed his lips, forcing himself to stay quiet. Two men opened the doors for them with a bow, apparently recognizing his parents. Yunho was the only one who bowed back and even though his father had tried to get that one act of kindness out of him he never stopped. Servants were people too.
Inside, they arrived at a large hallway and he straightened his back when he realised who were waiting for them under the sparkling chandelier. He waited for his parents to finish their own greetings before he too took a step forward.
“Mr Kim, Mrs Kim.” Yunho bowed deeply and smiled. Joo-Eun was gazing expectantly at him, and if she was still mad at him she certainly didn’t show it. Her dress sparkled almost more than the grand chandelier over their heads. He clutched Joo-Eun’s right hand in his and leaned down to kiss it, thankful that she was wearing gloves. “Joo-Eun.” He murmured his greeting and let his gaze focus on the beauty of the night. His hair fell naturally around his face, his skin paler and eyes darker than normal. He was breathtaking, and if they were alone he would have let him know. “Jaejoong.” He bowed, never breaking his eye contact with the man even though Jaejoong bowed down with him. At the lowest 90 degrees they shared a smile, the tiny wink of Yunho’s eye hidden by his light brown hair. Their parents were busy talking and greeting each other and they were thankful when Eun-Hee called on Joo-Eun, leaving Jaejoong and Yunho alone.
“Do you have any idea what’s going on?”
Yunho shook his head, daring a casual gesture and let his hand rest lightly on Jaejoong’s lower back. Jaejoong gnawed on his lip but nudged closer to Yunho’s body while they talked. Yunho wasn’t the only one missing their closeness, and he regretted them fighting the other night when they could have spent it with each other.
“No idea, I’ve been trying to ask my parents the whole night but they’ve kept quiet.” Jaejoong stopped his gnawing and sighed before pushing an annoying strand of hair behind his ear. Yunho wondered if he knew just how feminine he looked doing that. He couldn’t help but to slightly graze the end of the dark hair with his thumb and index finger. It was like feeling a shiny feather-light and ticklish against his pads. He quickly withdrew his hand when he realised what he was doing and how intimate it looked-you usually didn’t play with your brother-in-law’s hair. “What’s the matter?” he asked, noticing how upset Jaejoong looked all of a sudden.
“Nothing, I just have an idea of what it might be that’s waiting behind the doors…” He sighed heavily, the gentle smile he had before was gone and Yunho wondered what had caused him so much sadness. Obviously whatever was in that room was upsetting. Yunho gulped; should he be running for his life?
ManShik clapped his hands, drawing the attention to himself and they all gathered around him. To Yunho’s surprise, his father was smiling while talking to them.
“Okay, it’s time to reveal the surprise. Open the doors.” Two men pushed the giant doors open, the room revealing and opening up to them as if in slow-motion. It was decorated in warm colours of gold and white, a huge but amazingly beautiful chandelier hanging in there. It was a ballroom, with a long table where Yunho guessed they would be dining. What caught their attention though wasn’t the room-it was the people.
“Congratulations!” Cheers and congrats rang out in the room, everyone that mattered in their town were there, each of them holding a glass of champagne. It wasn’t hard to understand what they were celebrating and Jaejoong had to bite his lip so he wouldn’t turn around and run, when Joo-Eun slightly pushed him out of her way to take her place next to Yunho.
“Oh my god! I can’t believe it! Thank you!” Joo-Eun was in hysterics, so joyful and excited. It didn’t take a genius to realise that she loved the spotlight and attention, especially dressed with an expensive gown and a gorgeous man. She had been waiting for this moment when everybody paid attention to her lucky marriage. Yunho only bowed and smiled politely against the gathering crowd, all of them coming closer to hug and kiss Joo-Eun’s cheek.
Hands were all over, grabbing Yunho’s arm, his shoulder, his cheek. He had already given up trying to find Jaejoong; all he knew was that the man had retreated a long time ago. He hoped he would sit near him at the dining table with their families. For now, his only duty was to stick with Joo-Eun and show a happy face. He was certain he could at least pull that off.
Dinner came immediately with Yunho and Joo-Eun at the head of the table, followed by their parents and lastly their siblings. To their surprise, all of Jaejoong’s sisters had arrived for the event and would stay in town until the actual wedding took place. Yunho couldn’t help but fidget when he couldn’t see Jaejoong at the table. His chair was still empty and the room clear from him. Where was he?
“Where’s Jaejoong?” a voice he couldn’t name asked, but he was thankful to whoever owned it.
“Yes, where is he? Darling, have you seen him?” This time it was Eun-Hee who asked her husband, but he only shook his head. The rest of the Kims had snapped the conversation up and was just like Yunho-twisting and turning in their seats in an attempt to find him.
For his second surprise tonight, Joo-Eun stood up. “Maybe I should go look for him.”
“No, I’ll go.” Yunho rose quickly, drawing the attention to himself from all the Kims. The rest of the guests were still chatting excitedly (thank god). Unnecessary attention he could handle, but it didn’t mean he enjoyed it. All the while Joo-Eun was looking bewildered at him, wondering why exactly he was the one to go look for her brother. “I mean, maybe he’s not feeling well. Sometimes it’s better to talk to someone you’re not that close to,” he tried, hoping that his skills in talking would pay off even in this situation.
“I guess you might be right.” She sat down again and slightly grasped his hand before letting go. “Be quick, okay?” He nodded and leaned down to kiss her cheek just for the sake of it. He actually did feel a bit grateful that she let him leave the table.
He tried to leave as discretely as possible, stopping to shake some hands on the way. They congratulated him because, really, who wouldn’t be happy to have the beautiful and wealthy Kim Joo-Eun?
Everyone was at the table now, and Yunho had searched every bathroom and other open room he might have escaped into. There was no sign of him, and so he had no choice but to step outside. The weather had turned from good to looking more like afternoon again. The clouds hung heavy, but yet there were no further signs of rain.
He took the small steps down the stairs and walked as quietly as possible. If Jaejoong was out there he didn’t want him to run away from him.
“What are you doing out here?” Yunho wasn’t very frightened by the sudden voice, neither was he surprised. Maybe he had known he was out there and was prepared for it, or maybe his ears had already subconsciously picked up Jaejoong’s presence.
“Looking for you,” he answered once he had turned around. Jaejoong was leaning against the stonewall, gazing quite calmly at Yunho despite how much he felt like breaking down.
“…Why?” Jaejoong looked away, his fingers not finding a place to rest inside his pockets anymore. They were fiddling, just like his feet. Anything, anything at all was welcomed as long as he didn’t cry. “This is your night, Yunho. You should be in there enjoying it.”
Yunho smiled slightly and stepped closer. “Jaejoong…” He reached his hand out to cup Jaejoong’s soft cheek. It was warm, but at the same time so cold against his steady hand. The tiny hairs on his face tickled him as he grazed them with a careful finger. “You should know better than to think that I could enjoy anything without you… Especially something that is celebrating our separation.” Jaejoong didn’t smile, no matter how sweet his words were.
“I thought you were leaving, what does it matter?”
Yunho dropped his hand and stepped back again, lips turned down. “So… I’m taking that you’re not coming with me then.”
Jaejoong’s voice turned softer along with his eyes. They followed Yunho’s breathing chest. A pink tongue came out to moisten his lips. Yunho couldn’t help but to think that he could have done that for him. “I haven’t decided yet.”
Yunho nodded but forced himself to smile in reassurance-he didn’t want to pressure him. “At least join me at the table, will you? That empty chair is looking quite boring; I figured you could make it more appealing to look at.”
Jaejoong smiled and pushed himself off the wall and walked with him to the steps. “I’ll do my best.”
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The table was filled with laughter and clinking of silverware, chattering ladies and smoking men. The atmosphere was lively and happy, everyone congratulating the families and talking across the room. What he thought would be a stiff, boring supé turned out to be quite the warm dinner party. The one you would have with your closest friends. Jaejoong was having chicken with a fitting wine and salad, but he couldn’t even remember what the appetizer had been. He was too buried in his thoughts to talk to anyone else and he knew that Yunho was noticing it. Jaejoong had spilled his glass at least twice, dropped his eating utensils and choked on his rice. By now Yunho was looking quite fidgety and cautious, but at least he was smiling amusedly when Jaejoong made a fool out of himself.
To tell the truth, he had yet to decide what to do. All he could think was that Yunho was better off here, no matter what he said. He loved the man with all he had. Loved to kiss him, hug him, and make love to him. It was always an amazing experience, and he felt like he got closer to Yunho every time he was inside of him. But like he had always heard, if you love someone, let them go. Was that the right thing to do? But then again, the only reason Yunho wanted to give up all this was for Jaejoong, not because of him. He wanted to be with Jaejoong, and he had since long already figured out that the threat of leaving without him was only that-a threat. An empty promise to make Jaejoong think about what actually meant something to him. He already knew that Yunho was the only thing that actually mattered in his life, but Yunho wasn’t the only one who cared about Jaejoong.
He was torn, incredibly torn. One second it was obvious; of course he’d follow Yunho. But then the next second he’d be against it, the love for his family and sister holding him back. He loved his sister; he never wanted to betray his own flesh and blood like that. But he knew that not going with Yunho would mean that he’d betray himself. Yunho was his other half, how could he live without heart and soul?
“Are you alright?” His second youngest sister sat next to him and gently put her hand on his arm. She had married a man two years ago, arranged and sadly not as happy as she could have been with someone like Yunho. Her husband was the lazy, wealthy and highly unattractive man. He always thought that their parents wouldn’t even think of pairing her up with a guy like that, but at least he treated her well.
“I’m fine, just a bit tired.”
“Yes, I heard about the robbery a few nights ago! They didn’t hurt you, did they? I can understand if you’ve had troubles sleeping because of it. Joo-Eun is looking pretty tired herself.” Jaejoong only nodded with a small smile, and as usual his sister didn’t mind the quiet reply, neither did she ask which question the nod was for. She was very sweet, but with thoughts all over the place. “Or maybe that is all because of Yunho-sshi.” She giggled to herself and gave Jaejoong a small wink to which he didn’t respond at all; neither did he bother to hide how he felt about that assumption. “Oh come on! Can’t a sister joke with her brother anymore?”
“Sorry, Noona. I’d just rather not think about her that way.” Lie. He didn’t mind his sister having sex. What he minded was Yunho having sex with anyone else other than him. Not that he did, but the thought was enough.
“Tss, so proper, Brother. Did Joo-Eun’s innocence rub off on you?”
Jaejoong’s lips twitched into a smile. There really was no innocence left in him after weeks of Yunho having his way with him. They could probably make their own Kama Sutra by now. Yunho showed no signs of stopping either, and he was quite afraid by how Yunho would react to the wine later on. He might have a great deal of self-control sober, but drunk he was about as controlled as a dog smelling the sweet scent of a ready bitch. In other words, he’d probably try to get it on among the coats in the lobby. Jaejoong couldn’t really blame him though-it wasn’t like he had ever said ‘no’ to the man.
Once he was out of his thoughts again, his sister had already turned around to converse with an old friend from the town standing behind her chair. Her friend was pregnant with a young toddler by her feet smiling shyly at everyone who paid her any attention.
Soon the gentle strings of music started glees and applause throughout the hall, the soft piano and violins soon raising higher and tempting men to get out of their chairs to invite the women for a dance.
Of course though, the future husband and wife were to have the first dance. Yunho stood up with a smile, and Jaejoong knew it wasn’t because he was very happy to dance with her. He liked to spend time with Joo-Eun, yes, she was a sweet girl. But he wasn’t in love, and so Jaejoong wasn’t jealous. Or so he told himself. He shouldn’t be, but Yunho’s hand in hers was only the beginning.
He carefully led her out into the middle and she stepped closer to his body, getting adjusted to the rhythm and her partner. Her dress was a sparkling match with the chandelier, and he did feel proud that she would never be able to see Yunho’s chocolate eyes glowing just like they did whenever they tried a slow dance.
He put his large hand on her waist. Jaejoong stared at how perfect it looked, how his hand just melted into the curves of her body. She lifted her arm and let her hand land on his strong shoulder, a huge smile on her face and then they took off. They spun and twirled, both light on their feet as they followed the rhythm of the music. He knew it was a beautiful sight; he couldn’t miss the proud faces of his parents, or the looks of adoration on his sisters’. So why was he the only one who saw something sad? Was he really the only one who could hear the sad music, feel that with every step their feet took Yunho was disappearing from his arms?
Their families all gained someone, a beautiful and sweet daughter-in-law, or a responsible, handsome and gentle son-in-law. Jaejoong had always had them both, now he was losing them. Maybe it was karma. Whatever it was he was suddenly hit with the fact that he was all alone. No matter how many family members he had he’d always be alone without the man that really made a difference.
A/N: Gah hopefully all this rambling of theirs is understood xD I’m trying as hard as I can to get their feelings and emotions right for you guys to understand their little minds~ Comments, sweetcheeks? <3
A/N2: Yes, I know, I am probably the worst girl everrr to reply to comments, but please know that I read every single one and appreciate them! I’m just so slow xD