Wow... has it been a year yet!?
I miss Chris more each day.
It's been almost 6 months and I've been fine, until a couple weeks ago.
Suddenly it hurts to breathe everytime I come across something that reminds me of us.
The other day I put a CD in that we used to listen to constantly together, and I almost started crying instantly.
I almost cried just ( Read more... )

My friends suck.
All i want to do is fucking go to Canada for ONE night because i can finally drink there.
Is that REALLY so much to ask that none of my friends will take ONE night out to take me?
It's sad really. All the shit i've done for any one of them, and i get shit on.

And would you believe none of them have asked how I've been doing?
The day ( Read more... )

Well... back to the doctor's today.
The depression pills aren't working,
they're actually making me emotionless and i have NO motivation.
I slept FIFTEEN hours yesterday.
WTF!? Are you kidding me?

I was never like this before... what is wrong with me?
I had ambitions, dreams, goals, and morals.
I would give anything to be the old me.

( I would give anything to feel this again. )

WHAT THE HELL DO I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE!?
I have no idea anymore.
I don't think journalism is right for me,
and a job that helps animals and pays good really doesn't exist.

I feel like I'm the only person who has no idea
and that scares the shit out of me.
Am I going to end up working in a factory because I don't know what to study??

My problem is I ( Read more... )

So me and Chris' mom went all the way downtown at 6:30 this morning to visit Chris,
to have a deputy tell us he was moved upstate at 6am.
Chris must've been so disappointed knowing we were coming this morning.

Plus we have no idea how Wende works,
and we have no way of getting a hold of him.
So now I'm scared to leave the house incase I miss a call ( Read more... )

I went to visit Chris today, except i didn't see him.
I have no idea who i saw, but it wasn't the man i love.
The man i saw was sad, and hopeless.
He was pale, dirty and thin.
He had droopy bags under his eyes like he hasn't slept in months.
And it's been FIVE days.

I was so upset. I had to walk through three metal detectors, and a room full of smelly ( Read more... )

www.wivb.com/dpp/news/man_sentenced_for_street_racing_crash_090311
Oh my god.
Oh my god, oh my god.
I can't even begin to explain what I feel.
It feels like he died.
He was here, a mere eight hours ago.
And then i watched him sentenced to 1-3 years in prison, handcuffed and taken away.
And that was it.

I can't call him. I can't text him.
On any normal ( Read more... )

Well, i finally went to the doctors.
I was really getting scared in reguards to what I might do if I was alone and at my lowest.
I put it off for so long because I felt silly.
You know, my problems are fixable.
I just can't fix them right now.
What about people who don't have a home?

But anyway, I went and talked to my doctor, who i LOVE!
He diagnosed ( Read more... )

I got just my cat, my baby kitten i've had since i was 5,
handed back to me in a BOX full of ashes.
My cat. My baby. What's left of her is in a box on our fireplace mantel.
I can't stand to look at it. Why is it there?

Chris' sentencing is in exactly one week.
One fucking week and until I could lose the most important person in my life.
I'm with him ( Read more... )

( Read more... )