(no subject)
Wow... has it been a year yet!?
I miss Chris more each day.
It's been almost 6 months and I've been fine, until a couple weeks ago.
Suddenly it hurts to breathe everytime I come across something that reminds me of us.
The other day I put a CD in that we used to listen to constantly together, and I almost started crying instantly.
I almost cried just looking at a DVD that he left at my house, or the fact that I still have his basketball shorts neatly folded next to his contact solution, right where he left them.
6 months....hello! GET OVER IT.
I think i could only shove my depression aside for so long before it came back.
Granted I haven't taken my depression "medicine" in months, but I don't think it helped anyway.
I think I just need someone to talk to, and I mean a profesisonal.
I can't seem to open up to my friends.
All they can say is "Yeah but he'll be out soon."
NO. HE WON'T.
I still have six long months, and that might not even be it.
It probably won't be. He'll probably be denied and he'll be in for two years, but I can't even begin to think about that.
Two years is so long. Two years is something I'm not sure I can do,
but i have to. Because when I picture my future I can't see my house,
I can't see where I'll be living or the job I'll have,
all I can clearly see is Chris.
How can I throw that away?