I;m feeling extremely overwhelmed at this point and I really need people to help. There's no huge sofa and most of my stuff comes apart into sections that aren't that heavy, just bulky, and requiring two people to move ( Read more... )

James and I would like some help loading it. Any time afternoon and evening until its done ( Read more... )

Can anyone help James and I load our POD? It arrives sometime tomorrow and will be here until we have finished loading, probably in a week to ten days, depending on how much help we get. I have osteoarthritis, so I can't do a lot of lifting. James has developed back issues, so I really need some help.

meat market

see the cuts
apart from the dross
piles of memories slaughtered
to extract what has not been ruined
wrap the good and freeze it
try not to slip and fall
where blood and organs
lay spilled

in the abattoir
years wait for dispatch
nervous but clueless
take this one now
it is fat and full
overfed by
love's fancy
falters as the end
rises to free it ( Read more... )

distancing

shrug instead of struggle
waste no effort on the problem
simply say that now
is the time to turn away
from sadness
disavow bad company
disconnect from strife
destroy self doubt
describe yourself

so if it happens
that you are found
not fighting the fight
not arming yourself
against an foe
in whose light
you once warmed yourself
smile and turn away
to ( Read more... )

sifting
sighing while
drifting down days
freed from foul influence
reviving, lifting into light
leave it here
unsullied unsung unruined
desire demands
where it cannot reach
locked unloved
unclaimed
lost beauty

counted cost untold
coldly calculated
forget for me
forlorn love
forsworn promises
pray provide protect
prick of conscience
corellaries cascade
restful shadow
( Read more... )

Note: I'm reposting this as I meant this to be a public post ( Read more... )

breathing is something i can do
a tonic for my shattered nerves
i'll find a legend straight and true
to see beyond the unknown curves
this road i'm on i did not choose
the map i read was skewed and wrong
but i am breathing as i cruise
that is enough to keep me strong
i will inhale the freshening wind
on my shoulder sun will shine
all the gifts of life are ( Read more... )

waste

decayed forage
smell the rot
once the dog in the manger
has ruined for good
what once was
precious

the poison frog
is pretty
fatal charm
make an impression
of it's image
remember
but do not touch

jungle logic
leads to carnage
retreat in darkened
places

there it is
the room to rest
cool and quiet
remember the loss
but count
memories

sadness in loss
sick ( Read more... )

My situation is no different, but my thinking has changed. Last night I was thinking about Nate and myself, and I followed down the thought 'what if Nate changes his mind again and want to be with me and James'.

A few weeks ago I still hung on to what I had been telling Nate "You will always have a home with me. I will never give up on you." I've ( Read more... )