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holy shit, before I forget.
last night I had a very surreal dream that involved:- an heirloom ring with a secret tracking device that enabled Soviet spies to find me
- visiting a hybrid pig farm BACON MUSEUM with the happiest fucking pigs I have ever seen, because they were fed like, whole watermelons and pre-peeled grapefruits
- seeing John Stamos's penis (from a distance)
- an heirloom ring with a secret tracking device that enabled Soviet spies to find me
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wa wa wee wa
WELCOME TO MY DERP POST ( Read more... ) -
o life
i've been deathly ill the past four or so days with something flu-like, and this morning when I got out of bed to shut off my alarm, my right leg wouldn't work and I gracefully collapsed to the floor. My first thoughts were like OH MY GOD I HAVE POLIO I KNEW IT I'M GOING TO END UP IN A RICKETY WOODEN WHEELCHAIR LIKE FDR FUCK FUCK ( Read more... ) -
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I had this wack ass dream I was busting open a secret cult and Joel McKenzie from elementary school got possessed by CULT POWERS and spilled red wine all over my pristine white nurse uniform.
also some girl was putting on mascara and I called it "raccoon gold".
THEEEEESE DREEEEEAAAMSSS~ -
ew
the other day I found a dead butterfly (probably killed by a cat) and I decided I would ~PRESERVE~ it because the wings were so pretty. Then I folded it in a napkin and stuck it in my purse, aaaaaand forgot about it until today, when I was reaching in my bag for some lip gloss and half of a decomposed butterfly was on it. D: and now the inside of ( Read more... ) -
DISCOVERY CHANNEL PRESENTS CAT WEEK
oh lard ( Read more... ) -
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I hate when my bra straps get all twisted in the dryer.
also for the next seven days i will be in Tennessee where the internet doesn't exist
OKAY BYE
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