Just one day after posting the 2006 Crappys (previous installments can be found here, here, here and here), I learn that the same basic thing has been done this week by...Mallard FillmoreI'm so ashamed. I don't think I can ever do this again. I feel like Shah Jahan would have felt upon seeing the Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City, if he hadn't ( Read more... )

Dear U-Haul ( Read more... )

As you can see from these recent photographs, my hair has gotten very, very long and fat. An interesting development, however, is that I also appear to be going bald. Or something. I mean, I still have ridiculously huge amounts of hair, but not as much ridiculously much morer as once I had did. All I know is that hair is coming off of my head ( Read more... )

I have a mosquito bite right on the bottom of my foot, and it is the most annoying thing of all time. Way more annoying than terrorism. And yet where is the Department of Homeland Security?

KFC, not content with constantly bombarding actual humans with advertisements for their crappy food, will now pester nonexistent space aliens to come down and grab a bucketload of chicken.

Sometimes, you know, people say to me, "okay, Mr. chickenshit quasi-socialist, how are we going to pay for all your grand schemes? Who's going to foot the bill ( Read more... )

So, there's this commercial making the rounds these days that bugs the shit out of me. It's for the Visa check card, and it features all the customers and employees at a cafe humming along smoothly in a perfectly synchronized ballet of efficiency, until some balding, nerdy shithead ruins things for everybody by paying for his purchases with actual ( Read more... )

On occasion, you will hear me -- or sometimes calamityjon -- talk about the "ten percenter joke". What this refers to is a joke whose referent or subject is so obscure, whose humor is so contingent on an arcane cultural or social or linguistic idea, that only ten percent of its readers have a chance of understanding it, let alone enjoying it. I have amended ( Read more... )

Boy, have I been down the last week. I can't get over missing her, missing her kid, missing home. I know it's not anything you ever get over, but I wish it would return to a tolerable level of ache, because I got shit to do ( Read more... )

- Sorry for no Ludic Log updates over the weekend. I got busy doing a major freelance gig towards the end of the week, and then spent the weekend working on job stuff. I'll get around to it, er, someday. Maybe. BECAUSE I KNOW YOU ALL LOVE IT SO MUCH ( Read more... )

( Hit me! )