Sheriff Lowblow

[ludickid]

Boy, have I been down the last week. I can't get over missing her, missing her kid, missing home. I know it's not anything you ever get over, but I wish it would return to a tolerable level of ache, because I got shit to do

Comments

grief is natural!

[tawdryjones]

You're not alone in these feelings! AND, you're doing great, really!

My latest mantra: you don't have to get over it, just learn to live with it.

Re: grief is natural!

[ludickid]

Aw, thanks, Tottery Jackson. I appreciate it.

Learn to live with it, yeah, man, I know, that's all I can do. The thing is, like I said, it only works when it works.

[tawdryjones]

I'm curious; how common is it with gentlemen (or ladies!) to screw up out of fear of screwing up?

[doraphilia]

I'm so sorry Leonard. I'm thinking of you.

[ludickid]

Don't be sorry, Dora! I'm pleased you're sparing me kind thoughts, but what would make me happy is if you and your boy go and have a wonderful time in my beloved Chicago.

[petit_chou]

Leonard, I think you do one of those things that I do a lot, which is somehow feel like you're letting people down by admitting that you're feeling beat. It's okay for you to put the funny on hold and to admit that life is kind of sucking right now. I'm sorry it sucks, and I understand the kind of suck that you're in, but you never need to apologize for using your LiveJournal as, you know, a journal.

You're no superhero, but you're one of the smartest people I know and I respect you a lot. Take care, kid.

[ludickid]

Thanks, Heather. You do the same.

[calamityjon]

So ... you're available?

[calamityjon]

I say that, of course, because I loathe the utterance of platitudes, although they're nice to get come Hannukah or thereabouts. Macaroon platitudes mostly.

So the best I can offer is that I think you're doing the right thing - right now, anyway - in not contacting her just yet. There's really no good way that any conversation could practically go, excepting the hopeful "All is forgiven, come home," the liklihood of which is something you're more the expert on than I would be, to be sure.

But yeah, even if you manage to hit the right tone within "missing you" and "wanting to make sure you're okay" and "checking in" that keeps it from just sound pleading, there's the pressure she'll be under to basically not tell you dick for fear of either rubbing it in or sounding like she needs something. With "things are great" and "things suck" being the only available earnest choices, she's gonna be left with a cold "things are things" that's going to be miserably non-committal

[ludickid]

Yeah, man, this is why I don't like to post this kinda shit, I don't want to seem like I'm trolling for platitudes...just venting the only place I got to vent, you know.

You're spot on about there being no upside whatsoever to not contacting her. That's why I'm not doing it; it won't do any good for her, and it sure won't do any good for me. There's no way out of the conversation that leaves either of us in a better spot than we started.

And thanks for not having Charles Nelson Reilly deliver the sarcasto-clap, I don't think I coulda handled that.

[doraphilia]

I think livejournal is a great medium because it can be personal as well as impersonal, public and humorous and political while also being emotional. I never understand how people compartmentalize. I am the same person at my job as I am in my home, with norman and with my family, and I am still that same person on my livejournal. You should feel free to be completely yourself here-- this is all yours. And like Heather said, it's not your responsibility to be a funny "persona" all the time, you are a real person, too.