as predicted, austin has been a whirlwind since i got here. kisses, movies, hugs, wine, pot, clothes ( Read more... )

well. ive been doing better. i dont cry everyday and im doing my best to get out of bed everyday and just live. eat, work out, go out for drinks, shop, work. right now it feels like im trying too hard but then one day i'll wake up and accept that this is my life now. this happened for a reason. sometimes, i just miss the way he used to look at me, ( Read more... )

For the past four months ive always had this tiny thought in the back of my mind thats like "wow things like this dont happen to me." and i would always deep down doubt my relationship, thinking that i dont meet guys who are this hot, or laid back, or so into me. My life, while fulfilling in other aspects, had never been filled with so much ( Read more... )

"Sometimes it still hurts. You know how it is, it's like you wake up everyday and it hurts a little bit less, and you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt at all. And the funny thing is that, this is kinda weird, but it's like, it's like, you almost miss that pain...because you lived with it for so long"

i cant believe im leaving austin tomorrow. i know i need to leave, but part of me is so sad. this summer was a summer of so many firsts, but so many things were still the same as they always have been. My heart hurts.

"Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop ( Read more... )

i feel like my life has been spinning out of control. and sometimes i wonder if, for someone who lives their life looking for fun, if im really even having any. tonight i got pulled over by the cops for driving 12 over the speed limit. I was drunk.  So drunk i cant remember the conversation with the officer anymore.Thank god jackie was with me and ( Read more... )

i know everyone says this, but there really is no place like home. i came home from dallas with an attitude about how i had grown past all of my weird behavior. but nothing has changed i feel like. i dont know if this is a bad thing or not. actually i know its bad but i honestly am choosing not to care. my summer activities are: smoke really good ( Read more... )

i am at a point where am i literally scared to get drunk because godonlyknows who i will wake up next to. it could be a mexican, a jew, a matthew mccaunhay look alike, a person whose name i dont know. these are not hypothetical situations. this is a scary thought. i've literally had one new boy every weekend since 2007 began. and the whole point of ( Read more... )

Dear diary (haha)

for some reason i am really terribly homesick lately. Its kind of like when I first came to college but worse. I dont get why. I want SUMMER and i want AUSTIN and right now I want to get away from SMU. like...my friend and i are seriously looking for apartments next year in dallas and I just am feeling sick to my stomach about it ( Read more... )