break was amazing everything went right, i made friends and danced and was confident in myself and i met a wonderful boy who kissed me on the beach at 2 in the morning.sand was al over and he smelled nice and respected me and was just lovely. matt was canadian. and he wasnt a ass. and lauren and jenny were great and i danced at the club, cas was ( Read more... )

 so much to say about break. not ready to sum it up yet. i will spill when my bursting heart is ready.
so much happiness.

 ah fuck.
panic attack. damn damn damn damn damn. i cant stand her. i cant stand them. perfect. perfect. and the way they flaunt it is perfect with their stupid perfect lives and stupid perfect friendship. i hope they break up and their conjoined facebook page is destroyed. 

i am overwhelmed and tired, although today went by fast which was nice.
track got canceled because of rain and sudden cold front.
it was 85 yesterday and today the highest was 47.
i kid you not. this weather is driving me insane, every time i get used to it, it changes and throws me off. kind of like my situation with jacob, although i am not as crazy ( Read more... )

ah the sweet smell of cheap paint pens is all around me.i havent drawn graffiti pics in forever.its nice to feel completely comfortable in something and not be controlled by tiny pills any more.i havent had a panic attack in a month.i feel free. nothing is holding me down except my low self esteem and issues with the new freshman cheerleaders. ( Read more... )

 ughh its so hot. it was 85 today and i ran 2mi at crosscountry. the pollen was so thick we all started choking and i feel all nasty. i cant stop coughing. at least it wasnt totally sunny. and there was (praise the lord) wind. i love running long distances. it goes by so slow and i can control it. i can think. and i look rad in my red white and ( Read more... )

 i hate homework so so much!
it is seriously taking over my life, and i barely have time to do it with cross country coming up. and idk just thinking about school makes me sick. 
bleh. im ready for spring break. i need the beach so bad. and i need a good summer boyfriend. school is throwing my social life in the garbage. sometimes things just go by ( Read more... )

 so my momma is having  a party whoop. peope aare here i think im in my room 

so im so trying to get the splits down. im going to practice like crazy. i will so get them i just know it. i want to be a viewette.i will do it. i need to practice like intense though. i will do it. i will. i am determined. im sick of being home on friday nights and having no bf and crape. 

 once again i was at the gym. where was shaggy?  i am not sure. i did not see him. i really wanted to so i could avoid him. i was so ready. but yeah im not happy with myself. with the way i look and act. im not happy with my friends either. i know. i sound terrible. but i am being honest as i can be. my self esteem is low. i think atlantis will ( Read more... )