4 nights in a row. Can't take much more. Caved a little tonight. I needed a cuddle. Probably set myself back a week. Sigh. Something I won't miss about being a mom. Hopefully something I just won't remember.

Big huge wave of depression hit me hard tonight. Feeling suffocated by the current day to day. Not sure how to break free other than wait it out. Knowing that when the kids are older, I might find a way out of these feelings. Choir will help, I hope.

A name was spoken to me. A person I think about every once in a while. Someone who once was a dear friend and that I could say was one of my best friends at the time. We had some really great times together. Then, it fell apart. I still don't know why. I could recall things I could have done differently, said differently, if I had only known. I was ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

We had a babysitter for the kids and we had a wonderful time sharing in, witnessing, and celebrating a wonderful couple's wedding. The night was over and we didn't know what to do with ourselves. Other people were doing stuff, though we didn't know what. We are over clubs and smokey bars. So, we went home. We made our own fun but all too soon, we ( Read more... )

I unfollowed someone on FB. It was too much to be ignored when all I wanted to do was send them the birthday present we got them and they left here. Maybe they did it on purpose. Can't take being ignored after what I feel like was a friendship. No communication, no more likes (not even on the pics of the girls), no answers. I'm glad they seem happy ( Read more... )

No, I don't post everything to facebook and no, I don't post much here either. But when I feel I can't post something there, but still want to post it, I still feel like I can come here and be relatively safe. So, that's something ( Read more... )

I started getting close to someone. They have a lot going on in their life. So, this person would drift in and out sometimes without a word or an explanation. I didn't feel it in my place to say anything. I didn't want to tie this person down who was more like a free spirit to me. But I would miss this person when they were gone and wonder if they ( Read more... )

Well, it's happened. I can easily say I'm not surprised. They've been trying to pull this off every year for many years, but always at the last minute and always not talking to the right people, the people who matter. I wanted to say I was hurt by it, but I'm not. I'm just too emotionally raw from other, more important things that I'm sensitive to ( Read more... )

Happy New Year!