A Lot to Live Up To, Part 11
So, more than three chapters, I guess. Oh well :)
Title: A Lot to Live Up To, Part 11
Author: lls_mutant
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Dee and Hoshi
Pairings: Dee/Lee, Hoshi/Gaeta, and past Hoshi/Narcho.
Summary: There are all kinds of betrayals. Some are easier to forgive than others.
Spoilers: Eventually through the end, but this part just through The Woman King
Author's Note: Thanks to my awesome beta trovia!
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Pain and Heaven | Part 9 | Part 10
"What did he do?" Dee demanded, pulling on her duty blues jacket.
"I don't know!" Noel repeated.
"How the hell did you find out?"
"I have my sources."
"That gorilla of a Marine?"
"What, John's a gorilla?" Noel flicked a smile, but nodded. "Yeah, John told me."
"Where's Louis?"
"Already headed down."
It turned out that Louis was standing outside of the brig, arms crossed, tapping his foot impatiently. "They're not going to let us in," he exploded, as soon as Dee and Noel rounded the corner. "They say we don't have clearance."
"No, sir, I said you don't have authorization," the Marine guarding the brig responded in a perfect deadpan. Louis just glared at him.
"Authorization, clearance, whatever, I want to see him."
"Sorry, sir, but no."
Over the Marine's shoulder, Dee could see into the cell a bit. Felix was asleep on a cot, curled on his side and his cheek resting on his hand.
Noel pulled Louis away. "Come on. What are you going to do, anyway? You can't bust him out."
"I can't imagine Felix did anything that terrible," Dee tried to reassure Louis. "He's sleeping, for frak's sake."
"Sedated," the Marine supplied.
"Sedated?" Louis demanded. "Why the frak-"
They heard footsteps, and all three of them stepped to the side as the Marine on duty straightened to attention. The delegation that approached was partly expected, in that Tigh and Adama were there. But Dee hadn't been expecting Cottle, or Roslin, and she certainly hadn't been expecting Zarek. Her eyes narrowed, and next to her, Louis drew in a little breath. But she noticed Noel looked more relaxed, even smiling a little as Zarek looked over Adama's shoulder at the brig.
"What the frak are you three doing here?" Tigh demanded. "This isn't a tea party."
"Just came down to visit Lieutenant Gaeta, sir," Dee said. She glanced at Adama, but he didn't say a word. Instead, both he and Roslin seemed to be watching Zarek for his reaction. Zarek shook his head, muttering something about idiots putting fire and oil into the same airspace. Then he turned his head sharply.
"I need to speak to the lieutenant alone," he said. "Without any bugs," he added, fixing Adama with a stern eye.
"All right." Adama took the President by the arm and gently guided her away. He inclined his head, and Tigh, Cottle, and the three lieutenants followed.
"Was that a good idea?" President Roslin asked the Admiral as they walked down the hall. "Leaving them alone together? I know I'd like to hear what Gaeta tells him, and I don't trust Zarek to tell us the truth afterwards."
"Neither do I, but I don't trust Lieutenant Gaeta to talk if he thinks we're listening," Adama said. Dee and Louis exchanged glances from the corners of their eyes, but Adama didn't dismiss any of the three of them. Instead, he turned off to a conference room, and then held the door open, indicating that everyone should enter. The door shut behind them. Dee, Louis and Noel stood at attention as Adama and Roslin sat down at a desk. Cottle sat off to the side, smoking and watching with narrowed eyes, and Tigh hovered like he always did.
"First," Adama began, addressing the three of them, "I can't imagine that this will truly stay quiet. Stories like this have a way of getting out to the ship, and then the Fleet. But it doesn't come from any of the three of you."
"No, sir," they all acknowledged.
"I need to know why Felix Gaeta might make an attempt on Gaius Baltar's life."
For a moment, Dee couldn't breathe, her throat closed up so badly. Her heart was pounding in her ears, and she just stared at Adama.
"Felix tried to kill Baltar?" Louis asked, looking as shocked as Dee felt. Noel, however, had the expression of someone who'd just seen the pieces fall into place. Dee swallowed hard, trying to clear the ringing from her head. Felix had tried to kill Baltar. Felix had tried to kill Baltar. And the last thing he'd done when they were together was kiss her on the forehead before he left for duty.
Adama let it sink in. "I'll ask you again," he said, when the silence stretched too long. "I need to know why Felix Gaeta would try to kill Gaius Baltar."
"Do you want a list, sir?" Noel said.
"A list?" Adama asked, his scowl deepening. President Roslin looked down over her glasses, as well. Noel just shrugged.
"Sir, with respect, I can probably come up with at least ten reasons that Lieutenant Gaeta would try to kill Baltar."
"Share some of them," Adama ordered.
Noel looked him in the eye. "Baltar surrendered the humans to the Cylons. Gaeta's a military man, through and through. He wouldn't surrender. That right there would be reason enough for most people. And Baltar gave the Cylons anything they wanted on New Caprica, at the expense of the humans. If you think that didn't upset Gaeta-"
"I'm sure it did," Adama cut him off. "Would you agree with that assessment, Lieutenant Hoshi?"
"Sir, I certainly agree it's possible. But even before the Cylons invaded, Baltar had descended into a mockery of a Presidency. As Lieutenant Allison pointed out, Lieutenant Gaeta took that job for a reason, and he watched the people suffer. But since then, Baltar just spent a good deal of time on the Cylon basestar. Lieutenant Gaeta may feel that he's been brainwashed or converted to their way of thinking. He told me that Baltar does worship the Cylon God."
"I've heard that, too," Roslin said softly. "That he refers to God as opposed to any of the Lords of Kobol. Lieutenant Dualla?"
"Do I agree?" Dee asked.
"Yes, or are there other reasons?"
Dee hesitated, and glanced at Cottle, who nodded. "When Lieutenant Gaeta returned to Galactica, he was assaulted by a Circle, and nearly made to pay for crimes that Baltar committed."
"I'm getting the picture," Adama said crossly. "That's enough, and I don't believe any of those are the real reason. Baltar made reference to a secret," he said, rubbing at his forehead. "A secret between himself and Gaeta. That was when Gaeta tried to kill him. Has Lieutenant Gaeta ever mentioned something like that to you?"
Silence.
Adama raised his eyebrows. "All right then, what's this secret? Lieutenant Dualla?"
It made her sick, the way Adama fastened his eyes on her, because she had to betray Felix's confidence and tell the Admiral. Not only was she worried about Felix, but this was her commanding officer. There was no way to argue it.
"Lieutenant Gaeta and Doctor Baltar had a… personal history," she explained. "I wouldn't call them a couple, but they…."
"Yes?" Roslin asked kindly.
Dee drew in a deep breath and pulled herself straighter. "Ma'am, Lieutenant Gaeta was in love with President Baltar," she said, the words cutting her soul as she spoke them. "It went very badly, even before the Cylons came."
"I see." Adama looked down at his notes. "And who all knows about this?"
Dee and Louis looked at each other. "As far as I know, sir," Louis began, "Dee and I are the only two who know for sure."
"He never told me," Noel confirmed.
Roslin raised her eyebrows. "I believe we might have our answer, Bill."
The Admiral rubbed his forehead again. "Maybe," he conceded. "Saul? What do you think?"
"I think it's more complicated than that," Tigh shook his head. "Gaeta might be private, but to lose his job and position because he wouldn't tell us about an affair? It doesn't fit. Whatever he's hiding, it's something worse than frakking Gaius Baltar."
Adama nodded. "What we really need to know is if it's personal, or if it will affect the Fleet."
It took a moment, but the implication of what he was saying completely staggered Dee. "Sir," she began, "are you concerned that Felix might be a Cylon?"
"I have information that there are twelve models," Adama said. "We've only seen seven. Baltar spent time on a basestar. It's possible that he might know the identities of the other five."
Felix a Cylon… Dee tried to wrap her head around that and felt like it would explode. There was no possible way… absolutely not. Not Felix. He'd snapped over something, yes, but he wasn't a Cylon. Definitely not a Cylon.
"No," Noel voiced her thoughts. "The Cylons seem to want Baltar alive, not dead. Besides, Felix has talked about his family, things he did as a kid… I can't think of examples right now, but-"
"So did Boomer," Tigh interrupted. "She had the memories programmed right in."
"But it doesn't make sense," Dee argued, finding her voice again.
Roslin raised her eyebrows. "Why not, Lieutenant Dualla?"
"Because he did help the Resistance. If he was a Cylon, he should have rejoined them on New Caprica, not worked against them."
"She's got a point, Bill," Tigh agreed.
"Unless there's something fundamentally different about the Final Five," Cottle pointed out. "Perhaps they didn't agree with the Cylons that we've seen that genocide was the answer to their troubles."
Roslin turned back to Dee. "You've known Lieutenant Gaeta for a long time, am I right, Dee?" she asked.
The use of her name startled her. "Yes, ma'am." A memory came back to her, and suddenly her throat loosened. "I met his parents once," she said, and it was like she'd let the air out of the room as everyone exhaled. "Back before the attacks. Only at the station, but they really do exist."
Roslin took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. "Oh, thank Gods," she said, breathing out. "So whatever it is, it's not that."
Dee nodded.
"All right," he finally said. "Is there anything else I should know?"
"No, sir."
"Then you're dismissed."
They left the conference room, and headed up towards the main part of the ship. But once they were far enough away, Louis breathed out and collapsed against a wall. "Felix is going to kill us," he said.
"It sounds like he tried to kill Baltar," Noel said. "I wonder why."
"We just gave the Admiral plenty of reasons," Dee said crossly.
"Yeah, but do you actually believe any of them are it? Adama mentioned a secret."
"It's their relationship," Louis said. "It has to be. I can't imagine what else Felix would hide like that."
"Yeah," Dee agreed. "That's got to be it." A thought occurred to her. "Does Zarek know about that?"
"Probably," Noel said thoughtfully. "He's very perceptive." Louis snorted, and Dee glared. "Look," Noel said, "I know you both don't like him, okay? But no matter what else you want to say about him, Zarek is smart and he understands people."
"Oh, yeah, he understands people. That's why he blew up a building in the name of a race that condemns violence," Dee said sarcastically.
Noel shrugged. "He did what he had to do," he said, but his voice was becoming a little more strident. "Sometimes you have to make sacrifices."
"There's a difference between sacrifices and murder," Dee said.
"Or it could just be," Louis broke in, "that Felix told Zarek. They got very close on New Caprica."
Dee and Noel exchanged final glares and then gave in to the implied order not to continue the discussion. "At least Felix went for you over him afterwards," she grumbled. "Given how he normally homes in on the worst choice possible, I should be kissing your feet."
Louis smirked. "You wouldn't have said that a year ago. But if you really want…" he stopped walking and extended a boot to her.
"Frak off," Dee pushed him. She yawned.
"Well, I guess there's not exactly much we can do," Noel said. "I'm going back to bed. Ten cubits says Zarek gets Felix off anyway."
Louis snorted. "He'd better not."
Dee pushed him again.
***
Noel was right. Felix was released from the brig the next day. "The charge was public drunkenness," Felix said, rolling his eyes as they managed a quick conversation at her station.
"What did you really do?"
Felix's face darkened. "Stabbed Baltar with a pen."
Dee cracked up. "Felix, I'm serious!" But his face didn't change, and she remembered Adama asking why Felix would want to kill Baltar. "Oh, my Gods. So are you."
"Yeah. They're giving him a trial, you know."
"A trial?"
Felix shrugged. "Not tomorrow, but yeah. A trial." He shook his head.
"Felix-"
"I guess that's part of why they're letting me off," Felix said darkly. "I was Baltar's Chief of Staff. They're going to need my testimony."
"What did you tell Zarek?" Dee asked, because after she was done worrying, she knew she'd be dying to know how Zarek of all people managed to convince Roslin and Baltar to let Felix out.
"The truth," Felix said stubbornly. "I've got to get back to work."
Dee watched him go. The truth wasn't exactly the most satisfying answer, but she knew that look on Felix's face; it was the only answer she was going to get. Whatever Felix had told Tom Zarek, it had been convincing enough that Zarek either believed Felix was innocent or useful. She looked back down at her station, not really seeing the knobs and dials of the console. Felix had been through so much… but to kill someone? Even Baltar?
And how the hell had he even gotten close enough to Baltar to try to stab him anyway? Baltar was a prisoner. Dee hadn't thought about that last night, but now… she remembered Felix being upset about the orders he'd been given, and now she had a suspicion that they must have been about this. Had Adama asked Felix to interrogate Baltar? If you knew Felix at all, it seemed like an incredibly stupid idea.
But then, there must have been a reason Zarek was rolling his eyes.
She watched as Tigh walked over to the tactical station, bending down and looking over Felix's shoulder at the screen. It was something that Felix had hated even before the whole Circle incident, but had allowed because, well, because Tigh was a colonel and Felix was a lieutenant and that was just the way life was. Tigh said something and Felix shook his head, pointing at another spot on the screen. Felix hadn't softened, Dee decided as she studied his rigid posture. Tigh had. He had a hand on Felix's shoulder. She wondered if Tigh felt bad for whatever they'd put Felix through the night before.
She shook her head and turned back to her station.
***
"You up for Joe's tonight?" Lee asked her after dinner two nights later.
Dee's smile wasn't even forced. "Sure," she said, unbuttoning her jacket. "Are you dressing up?"
"Nah. I just want to relax."
"Sounds good." She still hated the smell of smoke that clung to her clothing after, but Dee had to admit that the companionship and relaxed atmosphere of the bar was a welcome relief. She folded her jacket and quickly checked her hair, and then took Lee's arm. "I'm ready."
"So," Lee said as they walked down towards the hangar deck, "Did you hear about the trouble on the Outlander?"
"The FTL drive? Yeah, Helo was talking about it this afternoon. Is it true they might have to abandon the ship?"
"The President ordered that they start taking it apart tonight. Salvage what we can." Lee sighed. "Galactica's going to be taking on more civilians."
"Great," Dee groaned. "That will go over well."
Lee laughed. "I know," he agreed. "Helo's going to have a great time organizing it all."
Dee giggled. "The Admiral's still mad at him, huh? I'm surprised that he didn't draft Felix into it."
"He considered it," Lee admitted. "But only because he missed the artery when he stabbed Baltar. If he'd killed him, I think Dad might have given him a medal."
They both burst out laughing as they entered the bar. Lee headed over to get them drinks, and Dee headed straight for the pool table. Showboat was lining up a shot, but she glanced up at Dee and flashed a quick smile. "We're almost done this game, and I don't think anyone's waiting," Showboat told her, making the shot. A knuckledragger groaned as her ball sank neatly into the pocket, and her grin widened.
"Nice shot," Dee acknowledged.
"Thanks." Showboat lined up her next one. "I'm almost done cleaning these guys out." The two deckhands she was playing with both made overlarge protests, but Showboat sank her next ball, too.
Dee nodded and glanced around the bar. It wasn't as crowded as it had been the last time she'd come here with Lee, but there was still a sizable number of people. She spotted Hot Dog laughing with Racetrack and Skulls, Tory leaning on her elbows at the bar and listening intently to something her companion was saying. Seelix was sitting at a table, looking like she was training to outdrink Tigh and not really talking to one of the other knuckledraggers, who was watching her with concern.
Dee sipped her own drink and turned away for a moment. Watching Seelix made her uncomfortable. She still occasionally went to the pregnancy loss support group, during the hard weeks. But at yesterday's meeting, Seelix had finally told them about Jonathon. They hadn't been married, Seelix said, but they were getting there, especially once she'd gotten pregnant. And then the Cylons had invaded, and there were things that happened under military occupation, and they'd happened to Seelix. Dee had felt sick when Seelix had tried to talk about that, because it was something she hadn't even let herself consider. But the Five had beaten her as well, and she'd lost the baby soon after. Jonathan had killed the Five, not that it had done any good.
But what had really appalled Dee was how Baltar had reacted. The pair of them had been dragged before him, not that his decision really mattered, Seelix had mused. But she said that when Jonathan confessed everything, begging for help, Baltar had had sympathy.
And then signed the execution paper anyway.
Something told Dee that if Felix was here, Seelix would be sharing that drink with him.
Lee came over, handing her a drink. "What are you thinking about?" he asked.
"New Caprica," Dee said shortly. She shook herself, although the chills wouldn't quite leave her body. "Want to play?"
Lee picked up the cue and grinned at her. "You're on. But no hustling tonight."
"Fine," Dee sighed. "You take all the fun out of everything."
She looked back over her shoulder as Lee racked the balls. Seelix was still talking to her friend, and her friend was gripping her arm. Every time she thought people were healing from New Caprica, someone ripped the scab off and let her see the wound fresh again. "You know," she said, taking her shot, "I almost wish Felix had succeeded."
"It would have cost him," Lee said seriously. "Not in terms of brig time, but a piece of his soul. Especially someone like Gaeta."
"Yeah, I guess," Dee said. "I just wish we'd see someone in this Fleet actually heal."
Lee snorted. "Not until we find Earth, I guess. Your shot."
***
Lee was wrong, but no one minded. Six days later, Dee was back in Joe's, wearing her best dress and a drink in her hand. She sat crammed at a table with Felix, Noel, Cottle, Ishay, Dr. Robert, and Louis.
"Six months," Dr. Robert said, holding up his drink.
"Six months," they all echoed. Louis was beaming- embarrassed, but beaming.
"Thanks," he said simply. "For everything, really."
"Just glad we made it this far," Cottle said, lighting up another cigarette. "When you told me the history, I was nervous, but it couldn't have gone better."
"I'm just relieved I managed to avoid being your first bone marrow biopsy attempt," Louis said. He looked at Dr. Robert. "Thank Gods you were on the Botany when the Cylons hit."
"You know with your history this probably won't stick," Cottle said. "AML isn't one that goes away easily."
"For frak's sake, Sherman, he's been through it before," Dr. Robert said. "He knows what remission is like." He clapped Louis on the shoulder. "I won't say you'll be fine, but we've bought you a few more years. And given that we could all die tomorrow…."
"Cheerful thought," Noel said.
"But unfortunately accurate," Felix said, filching a cigarette from Cottle, who nearly smacked his hand for it. "After all, another ship just died."
"It's going to get even crazier in here," Louis said, looking around the crowded bar.
"Speaking of which," Cottle said, finishing his drink, "I hate to run out, but we need to get everything ready for tomorrow."
"Right, boss. Or should I say 'Aye, sir'?" Dr. Robert asked with a grin. Ishay hurriedly finished her drink as well.
"Congratulations, Louis," she said, kissing him on the cheek in a sisterly manner. She winked at Noel and then followed Cottle and Robert out of the bar.
"She's got a thing for you," Dee observed to Noel. Noel shrugged, but a cocky little grin tugged at the corners of his mouth.
"Is this a private party?" Racetrack asked. She was wearing tanks, a sharp contrast to the four of them who were all in the best civilian clothing they could muster up. "I don't mean to interrupt, it's just that-"
"No, it's fine," Louis said, gesturing at Cottle's abandoned chair. "Have a seat."
Of course, where one pilot went, others seemed to follow. What started out as Racetrack became Racetrack and Skulls, and then added Hot Dog and Showboat and Twofer. Soon there was an entire crowd around them. Dee glanced over at Louis, but Felix had scooted his chair closer, and the two of them were talking. Noel had just picked up his drink when Kara bumped into him.
"Hey!" he shouted. "Watch it, Starbuck!"
"Don't be such a klutz, Narcho. Reflexes are everything to a pilot, right?"
"Bitch," he muttered vehemently. Dee smothered a giggle.
"Hey, gorgeous." Lee's hand caressed Dee's bare shoulder. "Am I allowed to come over now?"
"You were allowed to come over before," Dee said, although she'd discouraged him. "What's going on tonight that the place is so crowded?"
Lee raised his eyebrows and pointed. Dee turned around, and saw a few musicians setting up. "Live music?" she said excitedly.
"Yeah. Not bad, huh? Joe says they're from the Demetrius. Cover band, but he says they're pretty good for a bunch of guys who just played for fun."
Lee looked so relaxed and confident. Dee stood up, pulled him down to sitting, and then settled herself again in his lap. "I don't think I've heard live music since New Caprica," she said.
Lee nodded and gestured with his glass. "There's proof as to how rare it is," he said. Adama was making his way into the bar. Dee raised her eyebrows. The crowd sort of parted for him- when people noticed- but although he was wearing his uniform, it just somehow seemed clear he was off duty.
Adama stopped at the bar and picked up two drinks, and then he picked their way through the crowd towards their table. Lee looked at Dee with surprise written all across his face. "I thought he'd just hang out on the edges," he admitted. "What is he doing?"
The pilots noticed, too. No one said anything, but the volume of conversation dropped. But Adama just nodded to them, and then moved over towards the corner where Felix and Louis were sitting, still deep in conversation.
"Lieutenant Hoshi," Adama said.
Louis looked up. "Admiral," he said, starting to struggle to his feet.
Adama smiled. "No, don't get up. I just wanted to stop by." He smiled, and set one of the drinks down in front of Louis. "It's not often anyone in this Fleet gets to celebrate," he said. "I think it calls for a drink."
"Thank you, sir." Louis accepted the drink, and subtly slid his own still-full glass over to Felix. Dee noticed it; she didn't think that the Admiral did. "I'm glad you could join us."
A speaker squealed, and the guitarist smiled apologetically. Lee shifted Dee on his lap, and she smiled down at him. The band began to play, the music loud and driving and sending vibrations down her bones. Dee closed her eyes and leaned against Lee. For a moment, if she just let her brain be still, she could almost believe she was back on the Colonies.
"They're not that bad," Lee shouted in her ear.
"They're not," Dee agreed, although she wondered if it was just the fact it had been so long since she'd heard live music like this that made them sound so good.
She barely noticed Adama slipping out, but she wasn't at all surprised. She didn't notice Felix and Louis slipping away until she heard Kara say, "Oh, Gods. Is that really supposed to be dancing?"
"Oh, for frak's sake, Starbuck, lay off. I've seen you dance, and it's not like you were ready for the Caprican Ballet," Noel snapped. Dee watched them, and as much as she hated to admit it, she had to agree with Kara.
"They don't really think that's remotely attractive, do they?" she shouted to Noel.
Now that Kara's back was turned, Noel was watching through his fingers. "Is it a bridge bunny thing?" he asked. "Seriously. Because it's just… there's a reason we never went dancing."
"It's not a bridge bunny thing," Dee said vehemently.
Noel shook his head and grabbed Dee's hand. "Sir," he said to Lee, "I'm stealing your wife. We need to go give dancing lessons."
"Please," Lee groaned.
"Come on," Noel ordered.
Dee had never danced with Noel. In fact, she was pretty sure she hadn't danced since New Caprica. But Noel was a good dancer, a fact only emphasized by his clothing. (Dee had to admit that she didn't mind that Noel seemed to favor tight jeans when he was out of uniform.) They found a spot near Felix and Louis, and Noel grinned at her. "Because let's face it," he shouted over the music, "two guys named Felix and Louis are gonna be a hell of a lot better at the chalkboard than they are on the dance floor."
And okay, Noel wasn't as good a dancer as he obviously thought he was, but he was certainly reasonable, and when he ran his hands down Dee's waist, she couldn't help laughing in delight. There was a spark of mischief in Noel's eyes that she hadn't seen… well, since that day on the motorcycle. And dancing, she had a brief flash of that same freedom she'd felt that day.
Of course Louis and Felix noticed them, and Louis's expression turned mockingly sour. "Funny," he shouted as the music ended. "You think you're funny, but you're really not."
"You're right," Noel agreed. "Watching you two is frakking hysterical." The song ended, and the band began playing a slower song. "Come on, Felix," Noel said. "I'll teach you a trick or two."
Noel pulled Felix away, and Louis turned to Dee. "Care to dance?"
Dee shrugged. "Why not? It's not every party I get to dance with the guest of honor."
Louis smiled awkwardly, and then put a hand on her waist and caught her other hand up. It was odd, Dee thought, as she stepped closer and put her own free hand on his shoulder. They'd fallen asleep on the same bed, and yet… this felt far more intimate and odd. She kept her eyes on Louis's sweater. It was a deep red, and on close inspection she could see that there were spots where the yarn was wearing thin or the knit was unraveling. But from a distance, it still looked good.
"Dee," Louis's voice broke into her thoughts, "would you let me lead?"
"I am," she insisted.
He smiled at her, with a definite sardonic bent. Dee concentrated for a moment on dancing, and then glanced up at Louis's face. He was watching Felix and Noel with an odd expression on his face.
"What?" she asked.
"If I was being really corny, I'd say my past and my future are dancing together."
"You are being really corny," Dee informed him.
"Hey, it's the closest I can get to saying I'm happy without actually saying it," Louis said.
"Are you?"
"Kind of hard to be happy when it's the end of the world." Louis shrugged. "I still think about the Pegasus all the time, and Gemenon. Hell, I still think about Sagittaron sometimes. Sometimes I wake up and I just wish I'd die right then and there, because it's easier than thinking about everything we've lost. But in the middle of all that, I've been given hope. I've been given a new start, I've been given a chance to repair, and I've been given people I love." He squeezed her hand. "So, no, I'm not happy. But I'm probably the man in the Fleet who's closest to it."
Dee nodded and looked down again. She was almost grateful when the song ended, and Lee cut in. "If it's all right with you all," he said, looking over at Noel and Felix as well, "I've never actually danced with my wife since we were married. I'm reclaiming her. If you have no objections," he said, smiling down at her.
"None at all," Dee agreed.
She thought about what Louis had said as she danced with Lee, laughing with him as the music played. Happiness was such an elusive concept these days, and given that, it was no surprise how people crammed into this bar, clinging to the little pleasure they could find in otherwise gray days.
She thought of it again later that night, when she saw Louis dancing with Felix to a slow song. They were dancing close, cheek to cheek, both smiling. When they kissed, it was closemouthed but lingering and slow, and Dee looked away hurriedly. Noel was also watching, and his face split into a wide grin.
"Racetrack!" he shouted. "Let's start collecting!"
"They're just kissing," Racetrack said dubiously.
"In public," Noel pointed out. "Trust me, for Hoshi, that's the equivalent of having sex against the wall. Gaeta, too, I'm guessing." He glanced at Dee, who nodded. "So let's get those cubits." The song ended and Dee looked back at the floor just in time to see Louis and Felix heading towards the door, fingers still entwined. Louis glanced back towards them, caught Dee's eye, and waved goodnight. "See?" Noel said, as if it proved anything.
But apparently it did, because as the two of them started circulating among the pilots, people started paying up.
"It's kind of disturbing," Kara laughed as she dropped her cubits into Noel's hand. "Gods, talk about a stick up the ass."
"Hey," Noel said, "some of us like the stick up the ass." Kara snorted and turned away. Noel's face was hard and angry, and he made a rude gesture behind her back.
Skulls laughed.
Kara turned back around slowly. "Have you got something to say, Narcho?" she asked, in the kind of voice that made it clear she was spoiling for a fight.
"Not really," Noel said, and swung.
Dee stared openmouthed, although Racetrack had the presence of mind to yank her back out of the way. Kara looked just as shocked as Dee felt, and then grinned and landed a punch on Noel's face that made him spin.
The music didn't stop, but a hole began to form in the crowd as Noel and Kara tore into each other. People began cheering, wagers were placed… it was another form of entertainment in an already good night. Dee pushed her way over to where Lee was cheering on Kara. "How much trouble are they going to be in?" she asked him.
"Depends on how much they break," Lee shouted back. "It's just a scuffle- blowing off steam. I'm not reporting it unless it gets- yeah! Come on, Kara!"
Dee stared at him for a moment, and decided not to read anything into it. "Fine," she said, "but I'm betting on Noel."
***
"I heard," Felix said, sitting down next to Noel, "that you fought Kara Thrace after we left last night."
"Yup," Noel said. He had a spectacular shiner and a shit-eating grin. "Won some people a few cubits, too."
"Only because Joe threatened you to ban you both from the bar if you didn't stop, I heard," Felix said dryly.
Noel stared at him. "How the hell does news travel so fast on Galactica?" he asked. "Weren't you and Louis frakking each other all night?"
"As flattered as I am that you think I've got that much stamina, no. Not all night," Felix leered. Dee laughed. "We got about twenty minutes before someone started banging on the hatch."
"I'm sure you only needed ten," Dee teased. Felix kicked her.
"So why'd you do it?" Felix asked. "Was it something she said?"
Noel shrugged. "I just wanted to fight."
Felix studied him. "Right," he said finally. "Well, I've got to get to the CIC. You coming, Dee?"
"In a minute." Dee blew on her coffee.
"What?" Noel asked when Felix left.
"Nothing," Dee insisted. "Felix might not mind burning his throat, but I do." She took a sip. "But since you ask, why did you really slug Kara?"
"She was frakking Lee. She got my promotion. She nearly pitched Felix out of an airlock, and yes, I finally got that story. I like Anders, and she dangles him by the short hairs. She's reckless, she's a bitch, and I didn't like the way she was talking about Louis. Pick a reason." Noel sat back, draping his arm over the back of a chair and challenging Dee with his eyes.
"Sounds like you did," she said.
"Nah, I just hit her for all of them." Noel put his feet up on the chair next to Dee. "Why do we still bother to bet cubits, anyway?" he asked. "It's not like we can actually buy anything with them."
"I guess it's just habit," Dee said. "Gods knows you managed to bring in enough of them last night."
"Yeah, between the fight and Louis and Felix finally getting their act together." Noel smiled. "I'm glad, you know," he said. "I know you don't believe me-"
"I do, now," Dee interrupted.
Noel just nodded. "Yeah. It just feels like one more thing settled, you know? Louis being happy."
"Are you happy?" Dee asked suddenly. "I mean, as happy as anyone can be these days?"
"I'm flying," Noel said. He put his boots down, grabbed his coffee, and stood up. "So there's your answer, right there."
Dee watched him go, wondering if that was a yes or a hell, no.
***
"How'd you pull this detail?" Helo asked when Dee came down to Dogville to help him with the new civilians.
"Fifty-one Sagittarons," Dee said lightly.
"You drew the short straw?"
"Hoshi nearly bodily tossed me down the stairs." Dee made a face. "Last time I mixed him and Sagittarons it went extremely badly."
"Can't really blame him." Dr. Robert appeared at her side. "Glad to see there's at least someone with sense down here, Dee." He extended his hand to Helo. "Dr. Michael Robert."
"Captain Karl Agathon. Good to meet you."
"If you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if Dee helped me. I might need her in convincing some of these… people… to examine them. Is that all right with you, Dee?"
"Certainly, sir. I'll do what I can to help." She looked at the line that was waiting impatiently. "We'll see if it's enough."
***
"Dee… you don't mind if I call you Dee, do you?" Dr. Robert asked as they sat on a pair of crates, chewing down algae bars and resting their aching feet.
"You've been calling me that all day, sir," Dee said, although she really didn't mind.
"Can I ask you something? What made you change your mind about Sagittaron traditions? What made you see the light?"
Dee thought about it. "I grew up in a city," she explained. "In Mynas. I think that helped a lot- city people don't tend to be as traditional. I remember growing up that I didn't go to a doctor regularly, but I had my appendix out when it was inflamed. My parents were willing to follow the traditions as long as it didn't mean our lives." She grinned wryly. "But Mynas wasn't really a good place to grow up. Have you ever been there?" Dr. Robert shook his head. "A lot of unrest and a lot of… not crime, but there were a lot of government buildings. When people wanted to protest, that's one of the places they came." She made a face. "People like Zarek."
"That's right. I remember that."
"I saw my first dead body when I was ten. And I knew I wanted to do something. Just sitting there doing nothing wasn't bringing peace like the Gods intended." Dee snorted. "It's just being a doormat. My parents didn't take it well at all."
"I imagine not," Dr. Robert said sympathetically. "I'm really struck by how few people on the Galactica are from Sagittaron."
"There was a while that I was the only one," Dee said. "Back before the attacks. Then we picked up Private Trimall and Corporal Morris."
"And Lieutenant Hoshi."
"He was over on the Pegasus," Dee said. "I'd never met him before the Pegasus found the Fleet. There were three others over there, too, although one of them died before the Pegasus found us and another died on New Caprica."
Dr. Robert looked away. "Lots of people died on New Caprica."
"Yeah."
"And not a single Sagittaron lifted a finger to stop it." Dr. Robert paused, and then shook his head. "No, I take that back. Only two Sagittarons lifted a finger to stop it. These people- the same ones that would cast both of you out- owe you both their lives."
Dee wasn't sure how to respond to that, but fortunately Helo came over to join them, and the conversation turned to the much more mundane matters of how to deal with the Mellorak infection that Dr. Robert had noticed. She excused herself as soon as she was done eating, because she had a shift in the CIC, and to be honest, it was a relief.
She glanced back over her shoulder as she headed out of Dogsville. Dr. Robert and Helo were studying something on a clipboard, planning out their strategy. She shook her head. The way Dr. Robert was talking was nothing new to her, not at all. Everyone thought that way, including her and Louis. She glanced at the Sagittarons, huddled together, angry and hating what was left of the world.
She shook her head and left the deck.
***
"Lieutenant."
Dee snapped her head up, blinking hard to focus. "Hoshi," she murmured. "What… I…?"
Louis grabbed her arm and hauled her to her feet. "Dee," he said, "you look like shit."
"Very gracious. I feel like shit."
"Have you slept much?"
"Not since we took on the Outlander passengers," Dee admitted.
"Well, I'm relieving you. Go sleep," Louis ordered.
Dee nodded. Louis released her arm and she wobbled for a moment and then caught herself. "I'll go sleep," she said. Louis nodded.
Dee managed to get back to her quarters and get out of her uniform, but by the time she'd slipped on her sweats she was coughing so hard that she could barely stand. The attack faded, and Dee decided that she'd better change course. She headed down to Dogsville.
Dr. Robert was in his cubicle. He looked exhausted, but when he saw Dee, he gave her a brief smile.
"Hey, Doc?" Dee said, "I don't really feel so good. Think I could get some of that bitamucin?"
"Sure." Dr. Robert put aside the syringe and bottle he'd been working with and picked up another one. "Come here, Dee," he said, and gently injected the shot into her arm. It burned, and she winced. "Didn't want to go to Cottle?" he asked.
"You saw how Cottle does with needles," Dee said. Her stomach lurched, and so did the rest of the world. Dr. Robert caught her.
"Hey, hey," he said, guiding her over to a cot. "You'd better lay down. Now, look, I'm going to give you a sedative, okay?" Another needle pierced her skin. "The bitamucen will take time to do its work, and what your body needs more than anything is sleep, all right? I'll make sure your husband gets word. Just got to sleep."
"Thanks," Dee said, trying to smile and failing miserably. She closed her eyes and drifted away.
***
When she woke up, there were bright lights and the faint sound of beeping. Her brow furrowed, but it wasn't hard at all to remember where she'd heard it before.
"Dee?"
Dee turned her head. "Ishay. Where…?"
"You're in the infirmary. You're fine."
"I know I'm fine," Dee said, although she still felt a bit sick. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Ishay hedged. "Do you remember anything down in Dogsville?"
Dee thought about it. "I went down to see Dr. Robert," she said. "I was feeling sick, and I knew it was the Mellorak- I've been working down there. He gave me the medicine and a sedative, and told me to sleep on the cot."
"Anything else?" There was a blurry memory of Helo insisting she go someplace, but that was all and it made no sense. Dee shook her head. Ishay took a deep breath. "All right." She did a few too many checks, overcautious, Dee thought, for something that was meant to be simple if you took the medicine. It brought back reminders of memories Dee was trying to lay to rest, and she closed her eyes. "Dr. Cottle will be in to see you shortly."
"Dr. Robert was treating me," Dee said. Silence. Dee opened her eyes and looked at Ishay. "What?"
"Dr. Robert won't be treating anyone anymore."
On to Part 12
Title: A Lot to Live Up To, Part 11
Author: lls_mutant
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Dee and Hoshi
Pairings: Dee/Lee, Hoshi/Gaeta, and past Hoshi/Narcho.
Summary: There are all kinds of betrayals. Some are easier to forgive than others.
Spoilers: Eventually through the end, but this part just through The Woman King
Author's Note: Thanks to my awesome beta trovia!
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Pain and Heaven | Part 9 | Part 10
"What did he do?" Dee demanded, pulling on her duty blues jacket.
"I don't know!" Noel repeated.
"How the hell did you find out?"
"I have my sources."
"That gorilla of a Marine?"
"What, John's a gorilla?" Noel flicked a smile, but nodded. "Yeah, John told me."
"Where's Louis?"
"Already headed down."
It turned out that Louis was standing outside of the brig, arms crossed, tapping his foot impatiently. "They're not going to let us in," he exploded, as soon as Dee and Noel rounded the corner. "They say we don't have clearance."
"No, sir, I said you don't have authorization," the Marine guarding the brig responded in a perfect deadpan. Louis just glared at him.
"Authorization, clearance, whatever, I want to see him."
"Sorry, sir, but no."
Over the Marine's shoulder, Dee could see into the cell a bit. Felix was asleep on a cot, curled on his side and his cheek resting on his hand.
Noel pulled Louis away. "Come on. What are you going to do, anyway? You can't bust him out."
"I can't imagine Felix did anything that terrible," Dee tried to reassure Louis. "He's sleeping, for frak's sake."
"Sedated," the Marine supplied.
"Sedated?" Louis demanded. "Why the frak-"
They heard footsteps, and all three of them stepped to the side as the Marine on duty straightened to attention. The delegation that approached was partly expected, in that Tigh and Adama were there. But Dee hadn't been expecting Cottle, or Roslin, and she certainly hadn't been expecting Zarek. Her eyes narrowed, and next to her, Louis drew in a little breath. But she noticed Noel looked more relaxed, even smiling a little as Zarek looked over Adama's shoulder at the brig.
"What the frak are you three doing here?" Tigh demanded. "This isn't a tea party."
"Just came down to visit Lieutenant Gaeta, sir," Dee said. She glanced at Adama, but he didn't say a word. Instead, both he and Roslin seemed to be watching Zarek for his reaction. Zarek shook his head, muttering something about idiots putting fire and oil into the same airspace. Then he turned his head sharply.
"I need to speak to the lieutenant alone," he said. "Without any bugs," he added, fixing Adama with a stern eye.
"All right." Adama took the President by the arm and gently guided her away. He inclined his head, and Tigh, Cottle, and the three lieutenants followed.
"Was that a good idea?" President Roslin asked the Admiral as they walked down the hall. "Leaving them alone together? I know I'd like to hear what Gaeta tells him, and I don't trust Zarek to tell us the truth afterwards."
"Neither do I, but I don't trust Lieutenant Gaeta to talk if he thinks we're listening," Adama said. Dee and Louis exchanged glances from the corners of their eyes, but Adama didn't dismiss any of the three of them. Instead, he turned off to a conference room, and then held the door open, indicating that everyone should enter. The door shut behind them. Dee, Louis and Noel stood at attention as Adama and Roslin sat down at a desk. Cottle sat off to the side, smoking and watching with narrowed eyes, and Tigh hovered like he always did.
"First," Adama began, addressing the three of them, "I can't imagine that this will truly stay quiet. Stories like this have a way of getting out to the ship, and then the Fleet. But it doesn't come from any of the three of you."
"No, sir," they all acknowledged.
"I need to know why Felix Gaeta might make an attempt on Gaius Baltar's life."
For a moment, Dee couldn't breathe, her throat closed up so badly. Her heart was pounding in her ears, and she just stared at Adama.
"Felix tried to kill Baltar?" Louis asked, looking as shocked as Dee felt. Noel, however, had the expression of someone who'd just seen the pieces fall into place. Dee swallowed hard, trying to clear the ringing from her head. Felix had tried to kill Baltar. Felix had tried to kill Baltar. And the last thing he'd done when they were together was kiss her on the forehead before he left for duty.
Adama let it sink in. "I'll ask you again," he said, when the silence stretched too long. "I need to know why Felix Gaeta would try to kill Gaius Baltar."
"Do you want a list, sir?" Noel said.
"A list?" Adama asked, his scowl deepening. President Roslin looked down over her glasses, as well. Noel just shrugged.
"Sir, with respect, I can probably come up with at least ten reasons that Lieutenant Gaeta would try to kill Baltar."
"Share some of them," Adama ordered.
Noel looked him in the eye. "Baltar surrendered the humans to the Cylons. Gaeta's a military man, through and through. He wouldn't surrender. That right there would be reason enough for most people. And Baltar gave the Cylons anything they wanted on New Caprica, at the expense of the humans. If you think that didn't upset Gaeta-"
"I'm sure it did," Adama cut him off. "Would you agree with that assessment, Lieutenant Hoshi?"
"Sir, I certainly agree it's possible. But even before the Cylons invaded, Baltar had descended into a mockery of a Presidency. As Lieutenant Allison pointed out, Lieutenant Gaeta took that job for a reason, and he watched the people suffer. But since then, Baltar just spent a good deal of time on the Cylon basestar. Lieutenant Gaeta may feel that he's been brainwashed or converted to their way of thinking. He told me that Baltar does worship the Cylon God."
"I've heard that, too," Roslin said softly. "That he refers to God as opposed to any of the Lords of Kobol. Lieutenant Dualla?"
"Do I agree?" Dee asked.
"Yes, or are there other reasons?"
Dee hesitated, and glanced at Cottle, who nodded. "When Lieutenant Gaeta returned to Galactica, he was assaulted by a Circle, and nearly made to pay for crimes that Baltar committed."
"I'm getting the picture," Adama said crossly. "That's enough, and I don't believe any of those are the real reason. Baltar made reference to a secret," he said, rubbing at his forehead. "A secret between himself and Gaeta. That was when Gaeta tried to kill him. Has Lieutenant Gaeta ever mentioned something like that to you?"
Silence.
Adama raised his eyebrows. "All right then, what's this secret? Lieutenant Dualla?"
It made her sick, the way Adama fastened his eyes on her, because she had to betray Felix's confidence and tell the Admiral. Not only was she worried about Felix, but this was her commanding officer. There was no way to argue it.
"Lieutenant Gaeta and Doctor Baltar had a… personal history," she explained. "I wouldn't call them a couple, but they…."
"Yes?" Roslin asked kindly.
Dee drew in a deep breath and pulled herself straighter. "Ma'am, Lieutenant Gaeta was in love with President Baltar," she said, the words cutting her soul as she spoke them. "It went very badly, even before the Cylons came."
"I see." Adama looked down at his notes. "And who all knows about this?"
Dee and Louis looked at each other. "As far as I know, sir," Louis began, "Dee and I are the only two who know for sure."
"He never told me," Noel confirmed.
Roslin raised her eyebrows. "I believe we might have our answer, Bill."
The Admiral rubbed his forehead again. "Maybe," he conceded. "Saul? What do you think?"
"I think it's more complicated than that," Tigh shook his head. "Gaeta might be private, but to lose his job and position because he wouldn't tell us about an affair? It doesn't fit. Whatever he's hiding, it's something worse than frakking Gaius Baltar."
Adama nodded. "What we really need to know is if it's personal, or if it will affect the Fleet."
It took a moment, but the implication of what he was saying completely staggered Dee. "Sir," she began, "are you concerned that Felix might be a Cylon?"
"I have information that there are twelve models," Adama said. "We've only seen seven. Baltar spent time on a basestar. It's possible that he might know the identities of the other five."
Felix a Cylon… Dee tried to wrap her head around that and felt like it would explode. There was no possible way… absolutely not. Not Felix. He'd snapped over something, yes, but he wasn't a Cylon. Definitely not a Cylon.
"No," Noel voiced her thoughts. "The Cylons seem to want Baltar alive, not dead. Besides, Felix has talked about his family, things he did as a kid… I can't think of examples right now, but-"
"So did Boomer," Tigh interrupted. "She had the memories programmed right in."
"But it doesn't make sense," Dee argued, finding her voice again.
Roslin raised her eyebrows. "Why not, Lieutenant Dualla?"
"Because he did help the Resistance. If he was a Cylon, he should have rejoined them on New Caprica, not worked against them."
"She's got a point, Bill," Tigh agreed.
"Unless there's something fundamentally different about the Final Five," Cottle pointed out. "Perhaps they didn't agree with the Cylons that we've seen that genocide was the answer to their troubles."
Roslin turned back to Dee. "You've known Lieutenant Gaeta for a long time, am I right, Dee?" she asked.
The use of her name startled her. "Yes, ma'am." A memory came back to her, and suddenly her throat loosened. "I met his parents once," she said, and it was like she'd let the air out of the room as everyone exhaled. "Back before the attacks. Only at the station, but they really do exist."
Roslin took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. "Oh, thank Gods," she said, breathing out. "So whatever it is, it's not that."
Dee nodded.
"All right," he finally said. "Is there anything else I should know?"
"No, sir."
"Then you're dismissed."
They left the conference room, and headed up towards the main part of the ship. But once they were far enough away, Louis breathed out and collapsed against a wall. "Felix is going to kill us," he said.
"It sounds like he tried to kill Baltar," Noel said. "I wonder why."
"We just gave the Admiral plenty of reasons," Dee said crossly.
"Yeah, but do you actually believe any of them are it? Adama mentioned a secret."
"It's their relationship," Louis said. "It has to be. I can't imagine what else Felix would hide like that."
"Yeah," Dee agreed. "That's got to be it." A thought occurred to her. "Does Zarek know about that?"
"Probably," Noel said thoughtfully. "He's very perceptive." Louis snorted, and Dee glared. "Look," Noel said, "I know you both don't like him, okay? But no matter what else you want to say about him, Zarek is smart and he understands people."
"Oh, yeah, he understands people. That's why he blew up a building in the name of a race that condemns violence," Dee said sarcastically.
Noel shrugged. "He did what he had to do," he said, but his voice was becoming a little more strident. "Sometimes you have to make sacrifices."
"There's a difference between sacrifices and murder," Dee said.
"Or it could just be," Louis broke in, "that Felix told Zarek. They got very close on New Caprica."
Dee and Noel exchanged final glares and then gave in to the implied order not to continue the discussion. "At least Felix went for you over him afterwards," she grumbled. "Given how he normally homes in on the worst choice possible, I should be kissing your feet."
Louis smirked. "You wouldn't have said that a year ago. But if you really want…" he stopped walking and extended a boot to her.
"Frak off," Dee pushed him. She yawned.
"Well, I guess there's not exactly much we can do," Noel said. "I'm going back to bed. Ten cubits says Zarek gets Felix off anyway."
Louis snorted. "He'd better not."
Dee pushed him again.
***
Noel was right. Felix was released from the brig the next day. "The charge was public drunkenness," Felix said, rolling his eyes as they managed a quick conversation at her station.
"What did you really do?"
Felix's face darkened. "Stabbed Baltar with a pen."
Dee cracked up. "Felix, I'm serious!" But his face didn't change, and she remembered Adama asking why Felix would want to kill Baltar. "Oh, my Gods. So are you."
"Yeah. They're giving him a trial, you know."
"A trial?"
Felix shrugged. "Not tomorrow, but yeah. A trial." He shook his head.
"Felix-"
"I guess that's part of why they're letting me off," Felix said darkly. "I was Baltar's Chief of Staff. They're going to need my testimony."
"What did you tell Zarek?" Dee asked, because after she was done worrying, she knew she'd be dying to know how Zarek of all people managed to convince Roslin and Baltar to let Felix out.
"The truth," Felix said stubbornly. "I've got to get back to work."
Dee watched him go. The truth wasn't exactly the most satisfying answer, but she knew that look on Felix's face; it was the only answer she was going to get. Whatever Felix had told Tom Zarek, it had been convincing enough that Zarek either believed Felix was innocent or useful. She looked back down at her station, not really seeing the knobs and dials of the console. Felix had been through so much… but to kill someone? Even Baltar?
And how the hell had he even gotten close enough to Baltar to try to stab him anyway? Baltar was a prisoner. Dee hadn't thought about that last night, but now… she remembered Felix being upset about the orders he'd been given, and now she had a suspicion that they must have been about this. Had Adama asked Felix to interrogate Baltar? If you knew Felix at all, it seemed like an incredibly stupid idea.
But then, there must have been a reason Zarek was rolling his eyes.
She watched as Tigh walked over to the tactical station, bending down and looking over Felix's shoulder at the screen. It was something that Felix had hated even before the whole Circle incident, but had allowed because, well, because Tigh was a colonel and Felix was a lieutenant and that was just the way life was. Tigh said something and Felix shook his head, pointing at another spot on the screen. Felix hadn't softened, Dee decided as she studied his rigid posture. Tigh had. He had a hand on Felix's shoulder. She wondered if Tigh felt bad for whatever they'd put Felix through the night before.
She shook her head and turned back to her station.
***
"You up for Joe's tonight?" Lee asked her after dinner two nights later.
Dee's smile wasn't even forced. "Sure," she said, unbuttoning her jacket. "Are you dressing up?"
"Nah. I just want to relax."
"Sounds good." She still hated the smell of smoke that clung to her clothing after, but Dee had to admit that the companionship and relaxed atmosphere of the bar was a welcome relief. She folded her jacket and quickly checked her hair, and then took Lee's arm. "I'm ready."
"So," Lee said as they walked down towards the hangar deck, "Did you hear about the trouble on the Outlander?"
"The FTL drive? Yeah, Helo was talking about it this afternoon. Is it true they might have to abandon the ship?"
"The President ordered that they start taking it apart tonight. Salvage what we can." Lee sighed. "Galactica's going to be taking on more civilians."
"Great," Dee groaned. "That will go over well."
Lee laughed. "I know," he agreed. "Helo's going to have a great time organizing it all."
Dee giggled. "The Admiral's still mad at him, huh? I'm surprised that he didn't draft Felix into it."
"He considered it," Lee admitted. "But only because he missed the artery when he stabbed Baltar. If he'd killed him, I think Dad might have given him a medal."
They both burst out laughing as they entered the bar. Lee headed over to get them drinks, and Dee headed straight for the pool table. Showboat was lining up a shot, but she glanced up at Dee and flashed a quick smile. "We're almost done this game, and I don't think anyone's waiting," Showboat told her, making the shot. A knuckledragger groaned as her ball sank neatly into the pocket, and her grin widened.
"Nice shot," Dee acknowledged.
"Thanks." Showboat lined up her next one. "I'm almost done cleaning these guys out." The two deckhands she was playing with both made overlarge protests, but Showboat sank her next ball, too.
Dee nodded and glanced around the bar. It wasn't as crowded as it had been the last time she'd come here with Lee, but there was still a sizable number of people. She spotted Hot Dog laughing with Racetrack and Skulls, Tory leaning on her elbows at the bar and listening intently to something her companion was saying. Seelix was sitting at a table, looking like she was training to outdrink Tigh and not really talking to one of the other knuckledraggers, who was watching her with concern.
Dee sipped her own drink and turned away for a moment. Watching Seelix made her uncomfortable. She still occasionally went to the pregnancy loss support group, during the hard weeks. But at yesterday's meeting, Seelix had finally told them about Jonathon. They hadn't been married, Seelix said, but they were getting there, especially once she'd gotten pregnant. And then the Cylons had invaded, and there were things that happened under military occupation, and they'd happened to Seelix. Dee had felt sick when Seelix had tried to talk about that, because it was something she hadn't even let herself consider. But the Five had beaten her as well, and she'd lost the baby soon after. Jonathan had killed the Five, not that it had done any good.
But what had really appalled Dee was how Baltar had reacted. The pair of them had been dragged before him, not that his decision really mattered, Seelix had mused. But she said that when Jonathan confessed everything, begging for help, Baltar had had sympathy.
And then signed the execution paper anyway.
Something told Dee that if Felix was here, Seelix would be sharing that drink with him.
Lee came over, handing her a drink. "What are you thinking about?" he asked.
"New Caprica," Dee said shortly. She shook herself, although the chills wouldn't quite leave her body. "Want to play?"
Lee picked up the cue and grinned at her. "You're on. But no hustling tonight."
"Fine," Dee sighed. "You take all the fun out of everything."
She looked back over her shoulder as Lee racked the balls. Seelix was still talking to her friend, and her friend was gripping her arm. Every time she thought people were healing from New Caprica, someone ripped the scab off and let her see the wound fresh again. "You know," she said, taking her shot, "I almost wish Felix had succeeded."
"It would have cost him," Lee said seriously. "Not in terms of brig time, but a piece of his soul. Especially someone like Gaeta."
"Yeah, I guess," Dee said. "I just wish we'd see someone in this Fleet actually heal."
Lee snorted. "Not until we find Earth, I guess. Your shot."
***
Lee was wrong, but no one minded. Six days later, Dee was back in Joe's, wearing her best dress and a drink in her hand. She sat crammed at a table with Felix, Noel, Cottle, Ishay, Dr. Robert, and Louis.
"Six months," Dr. Robert said, holding up his drink.
"Six months," they all echoed. Louis was beaming- embarrassed, but beaming.
"Thanks," he said simply. "For everything, really."
"Just glad we made it this far," Cottle said, lighting up another cigarette. "When you told me the history, I was nervous, but it couldn't have gone better."
"I'm just relieved I managed to avoid being your first bone marrow biopsy attempt," Louis said. He looked at Dr. Robert. "Thank Gods you were on the Botany when the Cylons hit."
"You know with your history this probably won't stick," Cottle said. "AML isn't one that goes away easily."
"For frak's sake, Sherman, he's been through it before," Dr. Robert said. "He knows what remission is like." He clapped Louis on the shoulder. "I won't say you'll be fine, but we've bought you a few more years. And given that we could all die tomorrow…."
"Cheerful thought," Noel said.
"But unfortunately accurate," Felix said, filching a cigarette from Cottle, who nearly smacked his hand for it. "After all, another ship just died."
"It's going to get even crazier in here," Louis said, looking around the crowded bar.
"Speaking of which," Cottle said, finishing his drink, "I hate to run out, but we need to get everything ready for tomorrow."
"Right, boss. Or should I say 'Aye, sir'?" Dr. Robert asked with a grin. Ishay hurriedly finished her drink as well.
"Congratulations, Louis," she said, kissing him on the cheek in a sisterly manner. She winked at Noel and then followed Cottle and Robert out of the bar.
"She's got a thing for you," Dee observed to Noel. Noel shrugged, but a cocky little grin tugged at the corners of his mouth.
"Is this a private party?" Racetrack asked. She was wearing tanks, a sharp contrast to the four of them who were all in the best civilian clothing they could muster up. "I don't mean to interrupt, it's just that-"
"No, it's fine," Louis said, gesturing at Cottle's abandoned chair. "Have a seat."
Of course, where one pilot went, others seemed to follow. What started out as Racetrack became Racetrack and Skulls, and then added Hot Dog and Showboat and Twofer. Soon there was an entire crowd around them. Dee glanced over at Louis, but Felix had scooted his chair closer, and the two of them were talking. Noel had just picked up his drink when Kara bumped into him.
"Hey!" he shouted. "Watch it, Starbuck!"
"Don't be such a klutz, Narcho. Reflexes are everything to a pilot, right?"
"Bitch," he muttered vehemently. Dee smothered a giggle.
"Hey, gorgeous." Lee's hand caressed Dee's bare shoulder. "Am I allowed to come over now?"
"You were allowed to come over before," Dee said, although she'd discouraged him. "What's going on tonight that the place is so crowded?"
Lee raised his eyebrows and pointed. Dee turned around, and saw a few musicians setting up. "Live music?" she said excitedly.
"Yeah. Not bad, huh? Joe says they're from the Demetrius. Cover band, but he says they're pretty good for a bunch of guys who just played for fun."
Lee looked so relaxed and confident. Dee stood up, pulled him down to sitting, and then settled herself again in his lap. "I don't think I've heard live music since New Caprica," she said.
Lee nodded and gestured with his glass. "There's proof as to how rare it is," he said. Adama was making his way into the bar. Dee raised her eyebrows. The crowd sort of parted for him- when people noticed- but although he was wearing his uniform, it just somehow seemed clear he was off duty.
Adama stopped at the bar and picked up two drinks, and then he picked their way through the crowd towards their table. Lee looked at Dee with surprise written all across his face. "I thought he'd just hang out on the edges," he admitted. "What is he doing?"
The pilots noticed, too. No one said anything, but the volume of conversation dropped. But Adama just nodded to them, and then moved over towards the corner where Felix and Louis were sitting, still deep in conversation.
"Lieutenant Hoshi," Adama said.
Louis looked up. "Admiral," he said, starting to struggle to his feet.
Adama smiled. "No, don't get up. I just wanted to stop by." He smiled, and set one of the drinks down in front of Louis. "It's not often anyone in this Fleet gets to celebrate," he said. "I think it calls for a drink."
"Thank you, sir." Louis accepted the drink, and subtly slid his own still-full glass over to Felix. Dee noticed it; she didn't think that the Admiral did. "I'm glad you could join us."
A speaker squealed, and the guitarist smiled apologetically. Lee shifted Dee on his lap, and she smiled down at him. The band began to play, the music loud and driving and sending vibrations down her bones. Dee closed her eyes and leaned against Lee. For a moment, if she just let her brain be still, she could almost believe she was back on the Colonies.
"They're not that bad," Lee shouted in her ear.
"They're not," Dee agreed, although she wondered if it was just the fact it had been so long since she'd heard live music like this that made them sound so good.
She barely noticed Adama slipping out, but she wasn't at all surprised. She didn't notice Felix and Louis slipping away until she heard Kara say, "Oh, Gods. Is that really supposed to be dancing?"
"Oh, for frak's sake, Starbuck, lay off. I've seen you dance, and it's not like you were ready for the Caprican Ballet," Noel snapped. Dee watched them, and as much as she hated to admit it, she had to agree with Kara.
"They don't really think that's remotely attractive, do they?" she shouted to Noel.
Now that Kara's back was turned, Noel was watching through his fingers. "Is it a bridge bunny thing?" he asked. "Seriously. Because it's just… there's a reason we never went dancing."
"It's not a bridge bunny thing," Dee said vehemently.
Noel shook his head and grabbed Dee's hand. "Sir," he said to Lee, "I'm stealing your wife. We need to go give dancing lessons."
"Please," Lee groaned.
"Come on," Noel ordered.
Dee had never danced with Noel. In fact, she was pretty sure she hadn't danced since New Caprica. But Noel was a good dancer, a fact only emphasized by his clothing. (Dee had to admit that she didn't mind that Noel seemed to favor tight jeans when he was out of uniform.) They found a spot near Felix and Louis, and Noel grinned at her. "Because let's face it," he shouted over the music, "two guys named Felix and Louis are gonna be a hell of a lot better at the chalkboard than they are on the dance floor."
And okay, Noel wasn't as good a dancer as he obviously thought he was, but he was certainly reasonable, and when he ran his hands down Dee's waist, she couldn't help laughing in delight. There was a spark of mischief in Noel's eyes that she hadn't seen… well, since that day on the motorcycle. And dancing, she had a brief flash of that same freedom she'd felt that day.
Of course Louis and Felix noticed them, and Louis's expression turned mockingly sour. "Funny," he shouted as the music ended. "You think you're funny, but you're really not."
"You're right," Noel agreed. "Watching you two is frakking hysterical." The song ended, and the band began playing a slower song. "Come on, Felix," Noel said. "I'll teach you a trick or two."
Noel pulled Felix away, and Louis turned to Dee. "Care to dance?"
Dee shrugged. "Why not? It's not every party I get to dance with the guest of honor."
Louis smiled awkwardly, and then put a hand on her waist and caught her other hand up. It was odd, Dee thought, as she stepped closer and put her own free hand on his shoulder. They'd fallen asleep on the same bed, and yet… this felt far more intimate and odd. She kept her eyes on Louis's sweater. It was a deep red, and on close inspection she could see that there were spots where the yarn was wearing thin or the knit was unraveling. But from a distance, it still looked good.
"Dee," Louis's voice broke into her thoughts, "would you let me lead?"
"I am," she insisted.
He smiled at her, with a definite sardonic bent. Dee concentrated for a moment on dancing, and then glanced up at Louis's face. He was watching Felix and Noel with an odd expression on his face.
"What?" she asked.
"If I was being really corny, I'd say my past and my future are dancing together."
"You are being really corny," Dee informed him.
"Hey, it's the closest I can get to saying I'm happy without actually saying it," Louis said.
"Are you?"
"Kind of hard to be happy when it's the end of the world." Louis shrugged. "I still think about the Pegasus all the time, and Gemenon. Hell, I still think about Sagittaron sometimes. Sometimes I wake up and I just wish I'd die right then and there, because it's easier than thinking about everything we've lost. But in the middle of all that, I've been given hope. I've been given a new start, I've been given a chance to repair, and I've been given people I love." He squeezed her hand. "So, no, I'm not happy. But I'm probably the man in the Fleet who's closest to it."
Dee nodded and looked down again. She was almost grateful when the song ended, and Lee cut in. "If it's all right with you all," he said, looking over at Noel and Felix as well, "I've never actually danced with my wife since we were married. I'm reclaiming her. If you have no objections," he said, smiling down at her.
"None at all," Dee agreed.
She thought about what Louis had said as she danced with Lee, laughing with him as the music played. Happiness was such an elusive concept these days, and given that, it was no surprise how people crammed into this bar, clinging to the little pleasure they could find in otherwise gray days.
She thought of it again later that night, when she saw Louis dancing with Felix to a slow song. They were dancing close, cheek to cheek, both smiling. When they kissed, it was closemouthed but lingering and slow, and Dee looked away hurriedly. Noel was also watching, and his face split into a wide grin.
"Racetrack!" he shouted. "Let's start collecting!"
"They're just kissing," Racetrack said dubiously.
"In public," Noel pointed out. "Trust me, for Hoshi, that's the equivalent of having sex against the wall. Gaeta, too, I'm guessing." He glanced at Dee, who nodded. "So let's get those cubits." The song ended and Dee looked back at the floor just in time to see Louis and Felix heading towards the door, fingers still entwined. Louis glanced back towards them, caught Dee's eye, and waved goodnight. "See?" Noel said, as if it proved anything.
But apparently it did, because as the two of them started circulating among the pilots, people started paying up.
"It's kind of disturbing," Kara laughed as she dropped her cubits into Noel's hand. "Gods, talk about a stick up the ass."
"Hey," Noel said, "some of us like the stick up the ass." Kara snorted and turned away. Noel's face was hard and angry, and he made a rude gesture behind her back.
Skulls laughed.
Kara turned back around slowly. "Have you got something to say, Narcho?" she asked, in the kind of voice that made it clear she was spoiling for a fight.
"Not really," Noel said, and swung.
Dee stared openmouthed, although Racetrack had the presence of mind to yank her back out of the way. Kara looked just as shocked as Dee felt, and then grinned and landed a punch on Noel's face that made him spin.
The music didn't stop, but a hole began to form in the crowd as Noel and Kara tore into each other. People began cheering, wagers were placed… it was another form of entertainment in an already good night. Dee pushed her way over to where Lee was cheering on Kara. "How much trouble are they going to be in?" she asked him.
"Depends on how much they break," Lee shouted back. "It's just a scuffle- blowing off steam. I'm not reporting it unless it gets- yeah! Come on, Kara!"
Dee stared at him for a moment, and decided not to read anything into it. "Fine," she said, "but I'm betting on Noel."
***
"I heard," Felix said, sitting down next to Noel, "that you fought Kara Thrace after we left last night."
"Yup," Noel said. He had a spectacular shiner and a shit-eating grin. "Won some people a few cubits, too."
"Only because Joe threatened you to ban you both from the bar if you didn't stop, I heard," Felix said dryly.
Noel stared at him. "How the hell does news travel so fast on Galactica?" he asked. "Weren't you and Louis frakking each other all night?"
"As flattered as I am that you think I've got that much stamina, no. Not all night," Felix leered. Dee laughed. "We got about twenty minutes before someone started banging on the hatch."
"I'm sure you only needed ten," Dee teased. Felix kicked her.
"So why'd you do it?" Felix asked. "Was it something she said?"
Noel shrugged. "I just wanted to fight."
Felix studied him. "Right," he said finally. "Well, I've got to get to the CIC. You coming, Dee?"
"In a minute." Dee blew on her coffee.
"What?" Noel asked when Felix left.
"Nothing," Dee insisted. "Felix might not mind burning his throat, but I do." She took a sip. "But since you ask, why did you really slug Kara?"
"She was frakking Lee. She got my promotion. She nearly pitched Felix out of an airlock, and yes, I finally got that story. I like Anders, and she dangles him by the short hairs. She's reckless, she's a bitch, and I didn't like the way she was talking about Louis. Pick a reason." Noel sat back, draping his arm over the back of a chair and challenging Dee with his eyes.
"Sounds like you did," she said.
"Nah, I just hit her for all of them." Noel put his feet up on the chair next to Dee. "Why do we still bother to bet cubits, anyway?" he asked. "It's not like we can actually buy anything with them."
"I guess it's just habit," Dee said. "Gods knows you managed to bring in enough of them last night."
"Yeah, between the fight and Louis and Felix finally getting their act together." Noel smiled. "I'm glad, you know," he said. "I know you don't believe me-"
"I do, now," Dee interrupted.
Noel just nodded. "Yeah. It just feels like one more thing settled, you know? Louis being happy."
"Are you happy?" Dee asked suddenly. "I mean, as happy as anyone can be these days?"
"I'm flying," Noel said. He put his boots down, grabbed his coffee, and stood up. "So there's your answer, right there."
Dee watched him go, wondering if that was a yes or a hell, no.
***
"How'd you pull this detail?" Helo asked when Dee came down to Dogville to help him with the new civilians.
"Fifty-one Sagittarons," Dee said lightly.
"You drew the short straw?"
"Hoshi nearly bodily tossed me down the stairs." Dee made a face. "Last time I mixed him and Sagittarons it went extremely badly."
"Can't really blame him." Dr. Robert appeared at her side. "Glad to see there's at least someone with sense down here, Dee." He extended his hand to Helo. "Dr. Michael Robert."
"Captain Karl Agathon. Good to meet you."
"If you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if Dee helped me. I might need her in convincing some of these… people… to examine them. Is that all right with you, Dee?"
"Certainly, sir. I'll do what I can to help." She looked at the line that was waiting impatiently. "We'll see if it's enough."
***
"Dee… you don't mind if I call you Dee, do you?" Dr. Robert asked as they sat on a pair of crates, chewing down algae bars and resting their aching feet.
"You've been calling me that all day, sir," Dee said, although she really didn't mind.
"Can I ask you something? What made you change your mind about Sagittaron traditions? What made you see the light?"
Dee thought about it. "I grew up in a city," she explained. "In Mynas. I think that helped a lot- city people don't tend to be as traditional. I remember growing up that I didn't go to a doctor regularly, but I had my appendix out when it was inflamed. My parents were willing to follow the traditions as long as it didn't mean our lives." She grinned wryly. "But Mynas wasn't really a good place to grow up. Have you ever been there?" Dr. Robert shook his head. "A lot of unrest and a lot of… not crime, but there were a lot of government buildings. When people wanted to protest, that's one of the places they came." She made a face. "People like Zarek."
"That's right. I remember that."
"I saw my first dead body when I was ten. And I knew I wanted to do something. Just sitting there doing nothing wasn't bringing peace like the Gods intended." Dee snorted. "It's just being a doormat. My parents didn't take it well at all."
"I imagine not," Dr. Robert said sympathetically. "I'm really struck by how few people on the Galactica are from Sagittaron."
"There was a while that I was the only one," Dee said. "Back before the attacks. Then we picked up Private Trimall and Corporal Morris."
"And Lieutenant Hoshi."
"He was over on the Pegasus," Dee said. "I'd never met him before the Pegasus found the Fleet. There were three others over there, too, although one of them died before the Pegasus found us and another died on New Caprica."
Dr. Robert looked away. "Lots of people died on New Caprica."
"Yeah."
"And not a single Sagittaron lifted a finger to stop it." Dr. Robert paused, and then shook his head. "No, I take that back. Only two Sagittarons lifted a finger to stop it. These people- the same ones that would cast both of you out- owe you both their lives."
Dee wasn't sure how to respond to that, but fortunately Helo came over to join them, and the conversation turned to the much more mundane matters of how to deal with the Mellorak infection that Dr. Robert had noticed. She excused herself as soon as she was done eating, because she had a shift in the CIC, and to be honest, it was a relief.
She glanced back over her shoulder as she headed out of Dogsville. Dr. Robert and Helo were studying something on a clipboard, planning out their strategy. She shook her head. The way Dr. Robert was talking was nothing new to her, not at all. Everyone thought that way, including her and Louis. She glanced at the Sagittarons, huddled together, angry and hating what was left of the world.
She shook her head and left the deck.
***
"Lieutenant."
Dee snapped her head up, blinking hard to focus. "Hoshi," she murmured. "What… I…?"
Louis grabbed her arm and hauled her to her feet. "Dee," he said, "you look like shit."
"Very gracious. I feel like shit."
"Have you slept much?"
"Not since we took on the Outlander passengers," Dee admitted.
"Well, I'm relieving you. Go sleep," Louis ordered.
Dee nodded. Louis released her arm and she wobbled for a moment and then caught herself. "I'll go sleep," she said. Louis nodded.
Dee managed to get back to her quarters and get out of her uniform, but by the time she'd slipped on her sweats she was coughing so hard that she could barely stand. The attack faded, and Dee decided that she'd better change course. She headed down to Dogsville.
Dr. Robert was in his cubicle. He looked exhausted, but when he saw Dee, he gave her a brief smile.
"Hey, Doc?" Dee said, "I don't really feel so good. Think I could get some of that bitamucin?"
"Sure." Dr. Robert put aside the syringe and bottle he'd been working with and picked up another one. "Come here, Dee," he said, and gently injected the shot into her arm. It burned, and she winced. "Didn't want to go to Cottle?" he asked.
"You saw how Cottle does with needles," Dee said. Her stomach lurched, and so did the rest of the world. Dr. Robert caught her.
"Hey, hey," he said, guiding her over to a cot. "You'd better lay down. Now, look, I'm going to give you a sedative, okay?" Another needle pierced her skin. "The bitamucen will take time to do its work, and what your body needs more than anything is sleep, all right? I'll make sure your husband gets word. Just got to sleep."
"Thanks," Dee said, trying to smile and failing miserably. She closed her eyes and drifted away.
***
When she woke up, there were bright lights and the faint sound of beeping. Her brow furrowed, but it wasn't hard at all to remember where she'd heard it before.
"Dee?"
Dee turned her head. "Ishay. Where…?"
"You're in the infirmary. You're fine."
"I know I'm fine," Dee said, although she still felt a bit sick. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Ishay hedged. "Do you remember anything down in Dogsville?"
Dee thought about it. "I went down to see Dr. Robert," she said. "I was feeling sick, and I knew it was the Mellorak- I've been working down there. He gave me the medicine and a sedative, and told me to sleep on the cot."
"Anything else?" There was a blurry memory of Helo insisting she go someplace, but that was all and it made no sense. Dee shook her head. Ishay took a deep breath. "All right." She did a few too many checks, overcautious, Dee thought, for something that was meant to be simple if you took the medicine. It brought back reminders of memories Dee was trying to lay to rest, and she closed her eyes. "Dr. Cottle will be in to see you shortly."
"Dr. Robert was treating me," Dee said. Silence. Dee opened her eyes and looked at Ishay. "What?"
"Dr. Robert won't be treating anyone anymore."
On to Part 12