FIC: A Lot to Live Up To (Part 5)
Title: A Lot to Live Up To, Part 5
Author: lls_mutant
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Dee and Hoshi
Pairings: Dee/Lee, eventual Hoshi/Gaeta, and past Hoshi/Narcho in the background.
Summary: Dee didn't think that coming back to the Galactica would be a smooth ride, but she didn't think it would be this difficult to see an old friend.
Spoilers: Eventually through the end, but this part just through Collaborators
Author's Note: Thanks to my awesome beta trovia!
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
The cheering had died away, but the hangar deck was still crowded. Confused people milled about, no one quite certain of what happened next. Dee looked around, overwhelmed with the faces that she hadn't seen in at least four months, if not longer.
"Gods, I can't believe…" Lee began, but he trailed off as a woman helped her husband limp by. The man had a bloody bandage wrapped around his head, and he looked dazed. The woman looked at them beseechingly, and Lee pointed. "The medics set up over there," he told her. "Do you need help?"
"No. No, we'll make it. Thank you."
That was when Dee caught sight of Felix, across the hangar deck. He was still standing by a Raptor, his hands shoved in his pockets. He met her gaze for a moment, and then looked away. Dee noticed that his suit was still in good shape and he was far cleaner and better groomed than most of the people on the hangar deck. Her stomach twisted at the implications, and she shivered. Lee's arm tightened around her shoulders.
Adama came over to them. "Lee," he said, "I need your help getting people where they need to go. They'll listen to you."
"Yes, sir."
"Lieutenant Dualla and Lieutenant Hoshi."
"Sir." Dee hadn't even realized that Hoshi was still standing behind her.
"We need to get communications back up and running as soon as possible. Report to the CIC."
"Aye, sir."
"Yes, sir."
Adama clapped Dee on the shoulder. "It's good to have you back," he told her, and then turned with a grimace. "Great. There's Zarek. I'd better go corral him before he announces his presidency."
Dee smiled and watched Adama go. As she did, her eyes passed over Felix again. He hadn't moved, and she wondered why she couldn't make herself go over. Then Hoshi touched her shoulder. "Let's go," he said brusquely. "We have our orders." She nodded, and then turned and followed without a backwards glance.
***
Dee stopped on the threshold when they entered the CIC, her hand covering her mouth. Bare wires hung out, sparking like miniature fireworks. Consoles had been knocked awry, glass was broken, and a medic was treating people who were injured but still working.
"Why are you so shocked?" Hoshi asked. "There's no way the Galactica could have dropped into atmo like that and not taken some major hits, never mind the impact from any missiles or nukes fired from the baseships."
Dee turned around and stared at him. "You just lost the Pegasus," she said, amazed. "And you question how seeing my CIC like this would upset me? You're unbelievable."
"I'm not questioning it," Hoshi protested. "I'm just saying-"
"Lieutenants Dualla and Hoshi. Stop blocking the door and get down here," Helo called from the floor. His eyes were dark, but as Dee hurried down the stairs, he greeted her with a bear hug and held her close for a long moment. He released her then and grabbed Hoshi's hand, pulling him in for a one-armed hug as well. "Glad you two are okay," he said.
"Reporting for duty," Dee agreed. "What needs to be done?"
"I just got in here myself. At a glance, I'd say everything. Start by clearing your way to the communications console."
"What about tactical, sir?" Hoshi asked.
Helo sighed. "The DRADIS is up, and that was first on our priority list." He bit his lip and looked at Dee. "You didn't happen to see if Gaeta got back on board, did you?"
"I did see him," Dee began hesitatingly.
"He okay?" Helo asked.
"Yeah. He looked fine," Dee said, not quite looking at Helo.
Hoshi didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. Dee saw him exchange glances with Helo, and the word hung there unspoken between the three of them. Collaborator.
Helo broke the silence. "So no one's talked to him yet. I'll vet him through Adama, first." Both Dee and Hoshi nodded at that, and Helo looked over at the tactical station again. "What about Thorton?"
"Right behind you, sir." The Pegasus officer entered the CIC. "Admiral Adama sent me down, sir."
"Excellent. You help me with the tactical station, Dee and Hoshi, get to the comm station."
"Aye, sir."
"Yes, sir." Dee turned on her heel and led the way. "Have you even been in here before?" she asked Hoshi.
"Once, briefly," Hoshi admitted. "I came over with Cain. But I spent time on the Persephone before I was assigned to the Pegasus, and it was the same class battlestar as Galactica."
Dee nodded. "So you're familiar with the configurations."
Hoshi shrugged. "Vaguely."
"Good. Let's get this back together."
***
The station sparked, and they both jumped back out of the way. "Frak, Hoshi, how many times-"
"Well, if you would just let me-"
"I keep telling you-"
"Lieutenants."
Dee and Hoshi both froze, and then turned to face the Admiral. They both managed to get to their feet, sweaty and sooty and sore. Hoshi had a makeshift bandage wrapped around one hand and the arm of Dee's jacket was singed.
"Status report," Adama said.
Dee looked back at the console and shook her head. "We've established communications with Colonial One, sir, but that's it. It's hard to say if it's just our console or if other ships are having trouble as well."
"What about communications within the ship?"
Hoshi shook his head. "We're closer, sir. We've rerouted the power supply, but the circuit board for the QTP78 module is fried."
"Can we get another one?"
"I don't know, sir. Who would I see about parts on the Galactica?"
Adama grunted. "Good question." He glanced at his watch, and then back at the two officers. "How long have you two been on?"
"Since we've come on board, sir," Dee answered.
"That's eighteen hours. Go get something to eat and get some rack time. I want you back in six."
"Yes, sir."
"Use the officer's racks for now. We'll figure out where to put everyone later."
"Yes, sir."
Dee turned and headed out of the CIC. Hoshi was right on her heels, almost stepping on her boots. But when she turned around, he looked tired, drained, and completely demoralized. She suspected the only thing keeping him on his feet was sheer strength of will and a sense of duty. She reminded herself what it would feel like to lose the Galactica and sighed. "Come on," she said. "I'll show you the way."
The idea of walking in silence didn't really appeal to Dee; her mind would race to too many places she wasn't ready for it to go. She cast around frantically for a subject of conversation. "How long were you on the Persephone?" she finally asked.
"For a year," Hoshi answered. "It was my first assignment after I graduated from the Academy."
"You only served a year? I thought most tours were a minimum of two."
"Cain got promoted to Commander and went to the Pegasus. I was one of the officers she took with her."
Dee's brow furrowed. "How old are you?" she asked.
Hoshi looked down at her like she was crazy, but answered anyway. "I'm thirty-nine."
Dee did the math. "So you've served on the Pegasus for seventeen years, you were close to Cain, and you're still a lieutenant?"
"No."
"What, you're not a lieutenant?"
"No, I didn't serve on the Pegasus for seventeen years. This is it, right?" Hoshi asked, and Dee sensed that he was deliberately cutting off their conversation.
They entered the crowded mess hall, and Dee groaned inwardly. But to her relief, Noel was waving at them from a table of pilots. They got their food and both joined him. Dee would have liked to have gone somewhere else, but the other tables were packed full.
"Move over, Shark," Noel demanded as they approached. "Bridge bunnies need to sit, too."
"That's all bridge bunnies do," Shark said, but he scooted over so half the chair was free. Dee didn't even bother to glare at him, she just sat.
"Won't be here long anyway," she said.
"You guys look exhausted," Noel agreed, and then turned his attention back to the pilots. "You were saying?" he asked Thumper.
"So anyway," Thumper leaned forward, "Crellins told me that he went to get help from him. See if they could get the Cylons to let at least the kids out of detention, right? And he said he'd do something, but the guy frakking did nothing. They found seventeen kids dead in detention."
"Come on," Shark said. "Who stops and counts dead kids in the middle of a rescue op? And who says he didn't try? Maybe he did, and the Cylons just didn't listen."
"Yeah, well, all I know is that Crellins is not the only one who says it. Starbuck's already had a bit to say about how he didn't lift a finger to get her out of prison, and Tigh and Tyrol both say the guy just sat there on Colonial One and let the Cylons do whatever the frak they want. Which I'd get if he was just a civilian, but he wasn't."
"But he was on Galactica," Tiger said scornfully. Dee finally realized who they were talking about and opened her mouth to argue. But Noel leaned over and changed the subject.
"Louis, have you heard?"
"If it doesn't have to do with the communications system, no," Hoshi said, not looking up from his food.
"I saw Jess."
The use of a name rather than a callsign or surname was unusual for Noel. Both Dee and Hoshi looked up, and Noel's face was grim. Shark looked serious, too, and the other pilots at the table fell silent.
"What happened?" Hoshi asked.
"Both she and Cole got taken prisoner early on. Not really surprising, given that they were former military. Jess got out a couple weeks ago. She still doesn't know why they released her- she said an Eight just came to her one day and said, okay, you're out. But they didn't release Cole."
"That doesn't mean anything," Hoshi said. "Shark just said Starbuck was in prison the whole time, and she's back on the Galactica."
"It's been over eighteen hours, and Jess still hasn't found him."
Hoshi sighed. "Shit."
"He could be injured," Dee suggested. "The communications between ships aren't up and going well yet. It might be-"
Noel drained his drink and thunked it down. "Maybe," he said, but his voice was rough with doubt. He stood up, taking his dishes with him. "I've got to fly CAP. I'll see you all later."
Dee put her fork down, but Hoshi kept eating, albeit mechanically. "I'm sorry," she finally said.
"Don't bother. We don't know anything for sure yet," he said, spearing a piece of meat with more savagery than necessary.
We don't know anything for sure. Dee thought of Felix standing by the Raptor in his suit and completely uninjured, and sighed. "Right," she said, and they finished their meal in silence.
***
If Dee thought she would escape Hoshi, she was wrong. She showed him where the officer's head was, but by the time they made it there it was clear that Hoshi was about to fall over, and Dee didn't trust him to find his way to the rack afterwards. And when they arrived back at the racks, the room was so crowded it was hard to move.
"There's one rack open," Kelly informed them. "And there's no room to sleep on the floors."
"What about the other quarters?" Dee asked tiredly. Kelly shook his head. Dee glanced at her watch. "Got any way for us to wake up in four hours?" Kelly wrote a time on a piece of tape and stuck it above the rack. She looked at Hoshi, and without a word he began stripping down to his tanks and underwear. With a heavy sigh, Dee did the same.
She climbed into the rack first, wedging herself as tightly against the wall as she could manage. Hoshi climbed in after her and pulled the privacy curtain. He settled down, his back against hers, doing his best to come in contact with her as little as possible.
"The Commander isn't going to punch my face in if he catches us, is he?" Hoshi asked dryly, and it took Dee a moment to realize he was making a joke.
"He's more likely to assume we knocked each other out and someone dumped us here." Dee yawned, trying to get comfortable on the tiny corner of pillow that she'd claimed. She lay silently for a moment, and the words came out before she could stop them.
"I'm sorry about Stinger," she said quietly. "I know he might still be alive, but…"
"It sure doesn't look that way," he finished, and in the warm darkness of the rack, his voice sounded different. Softer, somehow. "I'm sorry about Gaeta. I know he's not dead, but it looks like he might as well be."
"Yeah," Dee said quietly. "But there's probably an explanation."
Neither of them said another word.
***
"Lieutenants."
Dee looked up and sat frozen in surprise. Colonel Tigh stood above her, shaved, hair trimmed, patch over his missing eye and in uniform. She began to smile. "Sir… I…"
"Don't get all sentimental on me, Lieutenant," Tigh said, giving her the barest hint of a smile. He looked down at the floor, where Hoshi had scooted out from under the console. "Mr. Hoshi. Where are we?"
"We got the auxiliary program up and running for in-ship communications, sir, but it's got some glitches that make things more difficult."
"Well, let's get it fixed."
"Yes, sir."
Tigh nodded at them both and headed down to the floor of the CIC. Dee watched him wonderingly as Hoshi slid back under the desk. He tinkered with it for a while, as Dee tried to program a patch into the computer. She was certain it was what the system needed… but only a part of it, apparently.
"Okay, give it a try," Hoshi ordered.
Dee hit the power, and the computer came back online. But as it went through its reboot, the screen turned blue and an error message came up again. "No good," she groaned, rubbing her neck. "We've got to get our hands on a new circuit board."
"Apparently that's not going to happen any time soon." Hoshi scooted out from under the console, a scowl on his face. "Unless you can tell me who the frak on this bucket of bolts hoards the computer equipment."
"Because that's exactly the kind of thing I'd know any more, having been on the Pegasus for the past eight months," Dee shot back. "I don't know, and no one is telling. So get the frak up and help me-"
"The Cylons found us, Mr. Agathon. Your friend Gaeta was on the welcoming committee." Tigh's voice carried over the CIC, cutting Dee off. Dee looked over, and she saw Felix standing in the middle of the CIC, still in his suit as Tigh loomed over him. "Hey!" Tigh shouted. "Look at me! Long as you're here, maybe you can help me out. I'm missing something. I lost it in detention. Since you're so buddy-buddy with the Cylons, maybe you know where it is? How 'bout it? Do you know where my eye is?" Felix looked away, his expression guilty as hell.
"Saul!" Dee and Hoshi both snapped to attention as the Admiral entered, but he was entirely focused on the tableau on the CIC floor.
"Admiral," Tigh said.
"Back to work," Adama ordered the CIC.
Hoshi whistled through his teeth. "Well, that settles that."
Dee cringed. "It does not. XO or not, Tigh's just one man. He doesn't know everything that went on down there."
"Yeah, but superior officers don't exactly attack the officers they command in the middle of the CIC without reason," Hoshi pointed out. "Especially ones they worked closely with."
"Yeah, well, Tigh spent more time these past few years drunk than sober."
"Well, that was a quick sell out," Hoshi said, raising an eyebrow. "I thought the Galactica crew was supposed to be so loyal to each other."
"At least our Commander didn't shoot his XO in the head," Dee snapped.
Hoshi's face clouded over, and for a moment Dee thought he might slap her again. But instead he just swore and pushed back under the console. He did, however, manage to kick her hard in the shin as he did so.
"Lieutenant," a quiet voice said, and Dee looked up in shock to see Felix standing over her. He still looked shaken, but he didn't offer a defense. All he said was, "Hel- Captain Agathon sent me over to help you and Lieutenant Hoshi get communications online."
And there he was, right there in front of her. Dee knew that what she should do was jump up and hug him, and just be grateful he was alive and in one piece. Failing that, she should smile, and as they worked, gently prod the story out of him. Get the information. Find out the truth. Felix would tell her.
But Hoshi had a point. The sight of Tigh was fresh in front of her, and the image of Easy looking for Stinger. Seventeen dead children, no matter how ludicrous that sounded, wasn't an easy thing to forget. And there was evidence there, in the fact that Felix's suit was unpatched, his hands weren't ragged and filthy, and he didn't seem to have a scratch on him.
And when she looked at him, he didn't meet her eyes. That bothered her more than anything.
She pursed her lips. "Thank you, Mr. Gaeta," she said, and he nodded, accepting that she wasn't ready to talk about it yet.
From under the console, Hoshi didn't say a word.
***
"Don't peek," Lee said.
"I don't see how I can, with your hands over my eyes," Dee laughed. Lee guided her forward, and she held onto his hands until he took them away.
"Ta-da!" he said, with a bit of a flourish. "Your new home," he said, sweeping her up into his arms. "And I believe that it's traditional for the man to carry the woman over the threshold."
"In what tradition?" Dee asked, but she was laughing, too. Inwardly, she marveled at the change in Lee. It had only been two days and she wouldn't call him happy, but his stride had a new purpose and confidence was creeping back into his stance, and he was trying. He set her down and she looked around. "These are nice quarters," she said, with a little surprise.
"Yeah, well. I'm not Commander anymore, nothing to command," Lee admitted ruefully, "so I suppose they thought this might ease the blow a bit."
"I'm not complaining." Dee noticed that Lee had managed to find their hastily packed bags, as well. She sighed happily. "If nothing else, just the escape…."
Lee smiled. "CIC is a little tense these days?"
Dee groaned. "I just got off shift trying to fix the systems with Gaeta and Hoshi. If any one of us could speak civilly to the others it would help."
Lee looked at her with concern. "I thought you and Felix-" he began.
Dee shook her head. "Everyone's saying he collaborated, Lee."
"And you believed them? You?"
"I don't know what I believe," Dee admitted, sitting down on the bed. "I know I should talk to him, but it's too soon. I didn't realize I'd be this angry about it until I actually saw him. He stayed Chief of Staff, Lee. And that's his own admission."
Lee sat down beside her, running his hand through his hair. "Wow," he said. "Well, worst case he'll go on trial, and the whole story will come out. What's Hoshi say?"
Dee sighed. "Hoshi's about ready to push him out the airlock himself."
"Still no word on Stinger?"
"Noel ran into Tory Foster on the hangar bay and she showed him the first manifests. He's not on there." Lee cringed. "It's almost certain he's dead."
"He was a good pilot," Lee said. "And a good leader." They sat in silence for a long moment. Then Lee patted her knee. "It will all come out, Dee," he said.
"I know," Dee said. She just wished that she had the patience and the courage to ask.
***
"Where the frak is Gaeta?" Hoshi demanded. "It doesn't take that long to go down to the hangar bay and see about dials and coils."
Dee looked at her watch. "He's been gone for over two hours," she agreed. It wasn't like Felix at all.
"Well, we can't get any farther without a new TRL switch and a new capacitor."
"I'll go see if I can get them," Dee volunteered.
"Yeah, well, don't get lost," Hoshi scowled.
"See if you can get the PCOM program back online," Dee ordered.
Hoshi looked at her curiously. "You do know you're not XO anymore, right?"
Dee stared at him. "I'm just telling you what I was doing," she finally snapped. "Get over yourself." She shook her head and stalked out the door.
But the truth was, she realized as she walked down the crowded corridors, she hadn't really thought about that fact. There was so little time to think about anything, and her own rank and place in the military structure had been as far down the list as what she should do with free time or what the weather had been like back on Sagittaron. But Hoshi was right; she was no longer XO, just Lieutenant Dualla.
She was startled out of her thoughts by the sound of someone crying. She glanced towards the sound automatically, and then stopped, vaguely recognizing the woman. Seelix, her mind supplied, a deckhand that had mustered out and settled on New Caprica, was wedged in between a few crates, as close to privacy as one could get right now on Galactica.
"Are you all right?" Dee asked, expecting Seelix to wave her on.
"No, frak it. That's why I'm sitting here crying," Seelix said. She wiped her nose with her hand, and then looked at Dee again. "Dee?"
"Yeah," Dee said uncertainly.
Seelix sniffled and wiped furiously at her nose again, this time with her sleeve. "You're good friends with Gaeta, right?"
Dee's blood ran cold with fear. "I… yes. We've been friends for a long time."
Seelix struggled to her feet. "We need to talk."
***
"So you've told Cottle already?" Dee said.
"Yeah," Seelix said, leaning back on her hands. They were sitting on boxes in a storage locker, and Dee imagined that Hoshi was going to blow his top that she still hadn't returned, but this story was important. "He said he'd find Gaeta."
"Does Felix need that much medical attention?" Dee asked, alarmed.
"I doubt it. Starbuck kicked him and she was wearing steel-toed boots, but he walked out of the airlock okay." Seelix sighed. "But I knew Cottle would believe me. No one else is going to trust him right now. Not until the story gets around, and even then-"
"People should believe it," Dee said sharply.
Seelix looked at her. "You'd think that. And maybe those of you who were cozied up here on battlestars will. But those of us who were on the ground, living with the Cylon boots on our throats and watching him do their bidding every day…. Believe me, it's easier to believe what we accused him of." Seelix swallowed and rushed on. "It's easier to have someone to blame."
"Well, what happens now?" Dee asked.
Seelix shrugged. "Tigh said he was going to talk to Adama, and I think Tyrol was going with him. Cottle went looking for Gaeta. And the others… I don't know." She looked at Dee. "I'm sorry."
Dee bit her lip. "I'm not the one you need to apologize to," she said finally. "I'm just the one who cozied up on a battlestar."
"I didn't mean you," Seelix insisted.
"I know," Dee said, although she had. "I'm on duty. I really need to get back to work," she said firmly, and Seelix nodded. She slid off the box and turned back around. "You let him go," she told Seelix, because it was the only comfort she could give and still be truthful. "After you knew what he did, you let him go."
"I know," Seelix said, and she sighed. "And I guess that's what will help me live with it, huh?"
"Guess so."
***
"Where the frak have you been?" Hoshi demanded as soon as Dee walked in. "Is there some giant monster lurking outside the CIC waiting to eat anyone who steps out the door?"
"Frak off, Hoshi," Dee said. She extended the parts. "Here's the switch and here's the capacitor."
He snatched them from her hands. "I don't suppose you saw Gaeta as you were wandering the halls."
"I'm here."
Dee turned, and saw Felix standing awkwardly by the console. It was a testament to how familiar a sight he was in the CIC that she didn't realize that he was wearing his uniform immediately.
Hoshi did, however. His eyes raked Felix up and down, from head to foot. "It took you three hours to get a uniform?" he demanded.
"No." Felix was pale, and Dee noticed his hands were shaking. She wanted to reach out and take one, but they were on the CIC floor.
"Lieutenant Dualla," Adama said, coming over and Dee snapped to attention. "Are communications back online?"
"We got the parts we needed, sir. If we're right, communications should be back online in a few minutes."
"Good." Adama looked at her and then Hoshi, and then clapped Felix on the shoulder. It was a brief, perfunctory gesture, but the meaning of it was clearly not lost on Hoshi, whose eyes widened. Felix flushed and looked straight ahead, not meeting anyone's eyes. "As soon as you get communications online, we need more help on getting nav back on." Adama told Hoshi.
"Aye, sir," Hoshi said, and Adama walked off to the center of the CIC.
Hoshi and Dee both looked at Felix, who didn't say a word. Finally, Hoshi sighed. "Well, then, let's get this station operational. Gaeta, would you hand me that set of pliers, please?"
"Right away," Felix said, and Dee began to breathe again.
***
"Felix."
Felix flinched as she spoke. It wasn't obvious- not a big gesture or a large cower, but Dee knew him well enough to see it. But he turned around, and when he did she had to swallow hard, because his face had that smooth, impenetrable professional veneer she'd seen him present others with time and time again. "Lieutenant," he said.
I'm sorry, Dee wanted to say, but the words just wouldn't come out. I should have said more. I should have asked more. But all she managed was, "I'll see you tomorrow."
Felix smiled thinly. "I hope so," he said.
***
"Is everything okay?" Lee asked Dee as she undressed for bed.
"Yeah. I'm just… worried," Dee admitted.
"Can't say I blame you," Lee said, sitting on their bed. "Have you heard what President Zarek's been doing?" he asked, his voice mocking on the title. "That's what happened to Jammer," Lee said bitterly. "And the captain of the Monarch found evidence that it happened to someone over there, too. A Lisa Chadwick. He called the Admiral in on it."
Dee sighed. "It almost happened to Felix, too," she told Lee. "But it turned out he was an inside source for the Resistance."
"Really? Gaeta was?" Lee sounded impressed at that, like he hadn't expected it. "Glad they found out in time," he said. Dee nodded, and Lee laid back on the bed, arms behind his head. "It's not going to be easy getting the ships integrated," he said. "We've got all these warring factions. The Galactica crew, the Pegasus crew, the people who were on the ground and originally from Galactica, the people who were on the ground and originally from Pegasus… you know, I'd almost welcome a Cylon attack."
"Easier to deal with?" Dee laughed.
"No, a common enemy," Lee said seriously. "If the crew doesn't get something else to fight, they may very well end up fighting each other."
"You're exaggerating."
"Maybe." But Lee didn't look like he believed it.
***
"So I guess we're going to hold a wake," Noel said, and his voice lacked any of its normal humor. "It's been five days. The final manifests have been posted, and he's not on any of the ships." He looked down at his plate.
"How's Easy doing?" Thumper asked.
"She's flying," Noel said. "I think it's the only thing that's keeping her together right now. Shark's got her flying with him."
"That's good," Tiger agreed.
"Got room for one more?" Showboat was balancing a plate and a glass, and looking exhausted.
"I can move over," Dee volunteered. "Share my chair." She glanced around the mess hall. It was still crowded, although the schedule was starting to settle so that people were able to spread meals out a little better.
"What's Jess got to say about the funeral?" Tiger asked.
"He was Gemonese," Noel sighed. "He wanted something fairly traditional."
The pilots began to discuss it, and for a moment Dee tuned out, looking around. Lee was right, she noticed. The Pegasus crews were sitting together, and the people from the Galactica were clustered at their own tables. And even within that, it was broken down by those who had settled on the planet and those who had remained on the ship. Not as a hard and fast rule, but definitely as a generality.
To her surprise, however, she saw Hoshi sitting at the next table, essentially by himself. Three deckhands were eating on the other side, clustered together and having an enthusiastic conversation that he was clearly not a part of. She was about to comment on it to Noel when Felix walked in.
Schedules had meant she hadn't eaten the same time as Felix had the past two days, so she wasn't quite expecting the volume in conversation to still drop. Word of what Felix had done on New Caprica had gotten around the ship, but Dee noticed that Seelix was right: people still treated him like they'd believed he'd sold them all into their deaths. He balanced his bowl, glancing around casually for a seat.
Hoshi waved to him, half standing, and the volume of conversation dropped a little bit more.
Felix looked around uncomfortably for a moment, and then walked over. Like a radio being turned up, everything in the room returned to normal. But Dee found herself straining to hear exactly what Hoshi was going to say to Felix.
At first she didn't understand their conversation. Partly because she couldn't hear, but partly because what she could hear was computer talk. Dee knew computers, but the two of them went beyond that. Felix kept himself angled away slightly, and although Hoshi got him talking, the distant, professional tone still had a hold on his voice. For his part, Hoshi looked casual, but deliberately so. It was an interesting performance, and one Dee realized she'd never seen from him.
She noticed Narcho was watching them, too. His brow was furrowed and his face was dark, but when Dee raised her eyebrows questioningly, he just shook his head.
The room began to empty out, and Dee continued to half-listen to the conversation about Stinger's funeral and half-listen to Hoshi and Felix talk technobabble. She managed to get a seat closer to them when Tiger left, and now it was very easy to hear them… just nothing worth hearing. She was about to get up when she saw Hoshi lean in. Felix leaned back slightly, but Hoshi put a hand on his arm.
"Listen," he said, his voice low, "I just wanted to apologize for the way I've treated you since you got on this ship. I should have at least asked to hear your side of the story, and I didn't. I just went ahead and assumed. I'm sorry."
Felix's eyes widened, and Dee knew from his expression that no one had said anything like this to him yet. Gods knew she herself hadn't, and the guilt twisted her insides. He nodded stiffly. "Thanks," he said. Then he pulled himself together. "Seriously, thank you. I… I appreciate it."
Hoshi smiled, and released Felix's arm and extended his hand. "I don't think I've ever mentioned it, but my name's Louis."
Felix smiled. "Mine's Felix."
Dee looked away.
***
"And so, with our thoughts and love, Cole Robert Taylor, we send your spirit into the universe. So say we all."
"So say we all."
"May the Gods look down on you with grace, and may they walk with you."
"And also with you." It was an addition not often used in Colonial Fleet funerals, but Dee had heard it many times on Sagittaron. She noticed that many of the mourners, including Lee and Noel, who were flanking her, didn't know the correct response. She also noticed that Hoshi, standing on the other side of Noel, did.
The priest raised his hands, blessing the gathering. People realized the service was over and began to move towards the exit, stopping to comfort Jess, who was standing in her dress grays. Hoshi reached her before Dee did. He saluted her formally, and then to Dee's mild surprise, hugged her.
"I'm so sorry," Dee heard him say softly, in a voice more compassionate than she'd ever suspected him of having. "He was a good man, and a good friend. I was proud to have fought with him, and I know the Admiral was proud of him, too. She always was." Jess hugged him back fiercely.
"Damn it," Noel swore, "I have got to stop letting him go in front of me in funerals. He always comes up with good stuff to say."
"See what I mean about divides?" was Lee's comment.
"Cain means more to them than the Old Man does right now," Dee whispered back. "It's a funeral, Lee."
Lee nodded, and then suddenly it was Dee's turn.
"I'm so sorry," was all she could think of to say.
Jess nodded stiffly, and Dee moved aside to let Lee pay his respects. He shook Jess's hand and said, "He was a good man, and I was very proud to have him serve under me."
Jess's expression became colder. "Thank you, sir," she said, her voice formal. She turned away before Lee moved, greeting the next mourner.
"Well, that was…" Lee began, but trailed off as they moved away.
"You've said it yourself," Noel, who had been unabashedly eavesdropping, put in. "We ran while she and Cole were stuck on that rock."
"She was fine with you and Hoshi," Lee pointed out.
"We weren't in command." Noel said it like it was obvious. "When your new life is gone, you can't hate everyone in your old one."
It all swirled together, the Galactica and the Pegasus and New Caprica and explosions and death, Felix and Lee and Noel and Seelix and Adama and Hoshi and Helo. And all Dee could do was nod.
***
Dee looked up from her console, looked at the clock, and looked down again. This was ridiculous. She should not feel like a teenager trying to ask a crush on a date. Felix was one of her best friends, he had been since she'd been assigned to Galactica. She'd take a page out of Hoshi's book and just tackle it head on.
Gods, she couldn't believe she was actually following Hoshi. But then, he shouldn't have been the first one to say something kind to Felix, either. It should have been her.
As if conjured by her thoughts, Hoshi appeared at her side. "Reporting for duty," he informed her. "You're relieved."
"Thank you, Lieutenant," Dee said haughtily. She noticed he had a manual in his hands, but on closer inspection it was for the tactical station. "You think your shift's going to be slow enough for reading?" she asked. "Besides, I thought you knew it all from the Persephone."
"Which was seventeen years ago," Hoshi reminded her. "Frak off."
"You're really enjoying the fact I'm not your XO anymore, aren't you?" Dee asked.
"Every second," Hoshi said. "What did you do to this station?" He began rearranging the equipment. Dee rolled her eyes.
"It's fine. Don't frak it up," she said. "And if Zarek calls, make sure you put him through to the Admiral right away. Adama loves that."
"Ha ha. Go away. I have work to do." Hoshi opened his manual and flicked his hand. "Shoo!"
"'Shoo?'" Dee mocked. "And you were a favorite of Cain? Or is that your Saggitarion mother talking again?"
"Frak off, bitch."
"That sounds more like yourself." A call came in and Hoshi leapt to it, and bereft of any other procrastination, Dee turned towards the tactical station.
Felix was just standing up, stretching as Thorton relieved him. Dee went over, touching him on the arm. He flinched away, but she pretended not to notice. "Hi, Felix."
His smile started with that cool, professional look he gave others, and but kept creeping up his face and into his eyes, until it was almost as warm as she remembered. "Oh, hey Dee. What's up?"
Dee swallowed hard. "I'm sorry I haven't been around much since-"
Felix's smile cooled a few degrees as he cut in to her apology. "It's all right. We've all been busy."
"But-"
"It's all right," he insisted, with a little more steel in his voice. He started out of the CIC, but the way he shortened his stride made it obvious he assumed she'd be walking with him. "One of these days everything will settle back down to normal. Better sooner than later."
Dee nodded, picking up the thinly veiled message clearly. "Lee's going to be on duty tonight," she told Felix. "He's flying CAP. Do you want to stop by for a glass of wine?"
"All right." Felix nodded, and then turned toward the hangar deck. "I've got a meeting with Zarek over on Colonial One. I'll see you tonight."
"With Zarek? Felix, should you-"
"It will be fine," he said, and there was no patience in his voice. "I'll see you tonight," he repeated.
Dee watched him walk away. "Felix?" she called, right before he stepped through the hatch.
He turned around. His posture was military straight, but Dee suddenly saw how he was holding himself that way consciously, even though it was a part of him. He was barely holding it together, she realized, and the words be careful died on her lips. She looked at him standing in the hatch, framed by the light of the hangar bay behind him, and forced a smile.
"I like your hair long," she said. "It looks good like that."
He nodded to her, smiled, and closed the door behind him.
On to Part 6
Author: lls_mutant
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Dee and Hoshi
Pairings: Dee/Lee, eventual Hoshi/Gaeta, and past Hoshi/Narcho in the background.
Summary: Dee didn't think that coming back to the Galactica would be a smooth ride, but she didn't think it would be this difficult to see an old friend.
Spoilers: Eventually through the end, but this part just through Collaborators
Author's Note: Thanks to my awesome beta trovia!
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
The cheering had died away, but the hangar deck was still crowded. Confused people milled about, no one quite certain of what happened next. Dee looked around, overwhelmed with the faces that she hadn't seen in at least four months, if not longer.
"Gods, I can't believe…" Lee began, but he trailed off as a woman helped her husband limp by. The man had a bloody bandage wrapped around his head, and he looked dazed. The woman looked at them beseechingly, and Lee pointed. "The medics set up over there," he told her. "Do you need help?"
"No. No, we'll make it. Thank you."
That was when Dee caught sight of Felix, across the hangar deck. He was still standing by a Raptor, his hands shoved in his pockets. He met her gaze for a moment, and then looked away. Dee noticed that his suit was still in good shape and he was far cleaner and better groomed than most of the people on the hangar deck. Her stomach twisted at the implications, and she shivered. Lee's arm tightened around her shoulders.
Adama came over to them. "Lee," he said, "I need your help getting people where they need to go. They'll listen to you."
"Yes, sir."
"Lieutenant Dualla and Lieutenant Hoshi."
"Sir." Dee hadn't even realized that Hoshi was still standing behind her.
"We need to get communications back up and running as soon as possible. Report to the CIC."
"Aye, sir."
"Yes, sir."
Adama clapped Dee on the shoulder. "It's good to have you back," he told her, and then turned with a grimace. "Great. There's Zarek. I'd better go corral him before he announces his presidency."
Dee smiled and watched Adama go. As she did, her eyes passed over Felix again. He hadn't moved, and she wondered why she couldn't make herself go over. Then Hoshi touched her shoulder. "Let's go," he said brusquely. "We have our orders." She nodded, and then turned and followed without a backwards glance.
***
Dee stopped on the threshold when they entered the CIC, her hand covering her mouth. Bare wires hung out, sparking like miniature fireworks. Consoles had been knocked awry, glass was broken, and a medic was treating people who were injured but still working.
"Why are you so shocked?" Hoshi asked. "There's no way the Galactica could have dropped into atmo like that and not taken some major hits, never mind the impact from any missiles or nukes fired from the baseships."
Dee turned around and stared at him. "You just lost the Pegasus," she said, amazed. "And you question how seeing my CIC like this would upset me? You're unbelievable."
"I'm not questioning it," Hoshi protested. "I'm just saying-"
"Lieutenants Dualla and Hoshi. Stop blocking the door and get down here," Helo called from the floor. His eyes were dark, but as Dee hurried down the stairs, he greeted her with a bear hug and held her close for a long moment. He released her then and grabbed Hoshi's hand, pulling him in for a one-armed hug as well. "Glad you two are okay," he said.
"Reporting for duty," Dee agreed. "What needs to be done?"
"I just got in here myself. At a glance, I'd say everything. Start by clearing your way to the communications console."
"What about tactical, sir?" Hoshi asked.
Helo sighed. "The DRADIS is up, and that was first on our priority list." He bit his lip and looked at Dee. "You didn't happen to see if Gaeta got back on board, did you?"
"I did see him," Dee began hesitatingly.
"He okay?" Helo asked.
"Yeah. He looked fine," Dee said, not quite looking at Helo.
Hoshi didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. Dee saw him exchange glances with Helo, and the word hung there unspoken between the three of them. Collaborator.
Helo broke the silence. "So no one's talked to him yet. I'll vet him through Adama, first." Both Dee and Hoshi nodded at that, and Helo looked over at the tactical station again. "What about Thorton?"
"Right behind you, sir." The Pegasus officer entered the CIC. "Admiral Adama sent me down, sir."
"Excellent. You help me with the tactical station, Dee and Hoshi, get to the comm station."
"Aye, sir."
"Yes, sir." Dee turned on her heel and led the way. "Have you even been in here before?" she asked Hoshi.
"Once, briefly," Hoshi admitted. "I came over with Cain. But I spent time on the Persephone before I was assigned to the Pegasus, and it was the same class battlestar as Galactica."
Dee nodded. "So you're familiar with the configurations."
Hoshi shrugged. "Vaguely."
"Good. Let's get this back together."
***
The station sparked, and they both jumped back out of the way. "Frak, Hoshi, how many times-"
"Well, if you would just let me-"
"I keep telling you-"
"Lieutenants."
Dee and Hoshi both froze, and then turned to face the Admiral. They both managed to get to their feet, sweaty and sooty and sore. Hoshi had a makeshift bandage wrapped around one hand and the arm of Dee's jacket was singed.
"Status report," Adama said.
Dee looked back at the console and shook her head. "We've established communications with Colonial One, sir, but that's it. It's hard to say if it's just our console or if other ships are having trouble as well."
"What about communications within the ship?"
Hoshi shook his head. "We're closer, sir. We've rerouted the power supply, but the circuit board for the QTP78 module is fried."
"Can we get another one?"
"I don't know, sir. Who would I see about parts on the Galactica?"
Adama grunted. "Good question." He glanced at his watch, and then back at the two officers. "How long have you two been on?"
"Since we've come on board, sir," Dee answered.
"That's eighteen hours. Go get something to eat and get some rack time. I want you back in six."
"Yes, sir."
"Use the officer's racks for now. We'll figure out where to put everyone later."
"Yes, sir."
Dee turned and headed out of the CIC. Hoshi was right on her heels, almost stepping on her boots. But when she turned around, he looked tired, drained, and completely demoralized. She suspected the only thing keeping him on his feet was sheer strength of will and a sense of duty. She reminded herself what it would feel like to lose the Galactica and sighed. "Come on," she said. "I'll show you the way."
The idea of walking in silence didn't really appeal to Dee; her mind would race to too many places she wasn't ready for it to go. She cast around frantically for a subject of conversation. "How long were you on the Persephone?" she finally asked.
"For a year," Hoshi answered. "It was my first assignment after I graduated from the Academy."
"You only served a year? I thought most tours were a minimum of two."
"Cain got promoted to Commander and went to the Pegasus. I was one of the officers she took with her."
Dee's brow furrowed. "How old are you?" she asked.
Hoshi looked down at her like she was crazy, but answered anyway. "I'm thirty-nine."
Dee did the math. "So you've served on the Pegasus for seventeen years, you were close to Cain, and you're still a lieutenant?"
"No."
"What, you're not a lieutenant?"
"No, I didn't serve on the Pegasus for seventeen years. This is it, right?" Hoshi asked, and Dee sensed that he was deliberately cutting off their conversation.
They entered the crowded mess hall, and Dee groaned inwardly. But to her relief, Noel was waving at them from a table of pilots. They got their food and both joined him. Dee would have liked to have gone somewhere else, but the other tables were packed full.
"Move over, Shark," Noel demanded as they approached. "Bridge bunnies need to sit, too."
"That's all bridge bunnies do," Shark said, but he scooted over so half the chair was free. Dee didn't even bother to glare at him, she just sat.
"Won't be here long anyway," she said.
"You guys look exhausted," Noel agreed, and then turned his attention back to the pilots. "You were saying?" he asked Thumper.
"So anyway," Thumper leaned forward, "Crellins told me that he went to get help from him. See if they could get the Cylons to let at least the kids out of detention, right? And he said he'd do something, but the guy frakking did nothing. They found seventeen kids dead in detention."
"Come on," Shark said. "Who stops and counts dead kids in the middle of a rescue op? And who says he didn't try? Maybe he did, and the Cylons just didn't listen."
"Yeah, well, all I know is that Crellins is not the only one who says it. Starbuck's already had a bit to say about how he didn't lift a finger to get her out of prison, and Tigh and Tyrol both say the guy just sat there on Colonial One and let the Cylons do whatever the frak they want. Which I'd get if he was just a civilian, but he wasn't."
"But he was on Galactica," Tiger said scornfully. Dee finally realized who they were talking about and opened her mouth to argue. But Noel leaned over and changed the subject.
"Louis, have you heard?"
"If it doesn't have to do with the communications system, no," Hoshi said, not looking up from his food.
"I saw Jess."
The use of a name rather than a callsign or surname was unusual for Noel. Both Dee and Hoshi looked up, and Noel's face was grim. Shark looked serious, too, and the other pilots at the table fell silent.
"What happened?" Hoshi asked.
"Both she and Cole got taken prisoner early on. Not really surprising, given that they were former military. Jess got out a couple weeks ago. She still doesn't know why they released her- she said an Eight just came to her one day and said, okay, you're out. But they didn't release Cole."
"That doesn't mean anything," Hoshi said. "Shark just said Starbuck was in prison the whole time, and she's back on the Galactica."
"It's been over eighteen hours, and Jess still hasn't found him."
Hoshi sighed. "Shit."
"He could be injured," Dee suggested. "The communications between ships aren't up and going well yet. It might be-"
Noel drained his drink and thunked it down. "Maybe," he said, but his voice was rough with doubt. He stood up, taking his dishes with him. "I've got to fly CAP. I'll see you all later."
Dee put her fork down, but Hoshi kept eating, albeit mechanically. "I'm sorry," she finally said.
"Don't bother. We don't know anything for sure yet," he said, spearing a piece of meat with more savagery than necessary.
We don't know anything for sure. Dee thought of Felix standing by the Raptor in his suit and completely uninjured, and sighed. "Right," she said, and they finished their meal in silence.
***
If Dee thought she would escape Hoshi, she was wrong. She showed him where the officer's head was, but by the time they made it there it was clear that Hoshi was about to fall over, and Dee didn't trust him to find his way to the rack afterwards. And when they arrived back at the racks, the room was so crowded it was hard to move.
"There's one rack open," Kelly informed them. "And there's no room to sleep on the floors."
"What about the other quarters?" Dee asked tiredly. Kelly shook his head. Dee glanced at her watch. "Got any way for us to wake up in four hours?" Kelly wrote a time on a piece of tape and stuck it above the rack. She looked at Hoshi, and without a word he began stripping down to his tanks and underwear. With a heavy sigh, Dee did the same.
She climbed into the rack first, wedging herself as tightly against the wall as she could manage. Hoshi climbed in after her and pulled the privacy curtain. He settled down, his back against hers, doing his best to come in contact with her as little as possible.
"The Commander isn't going to punch my face in if he catches us, is he?" Hoshi asked dryly, and it took Dee a moment to realize he was making a joke.
"He's more likely to assume we knocked each other out and someone dumped us here." Dee yawned, trying to get comfortable on the tiny corner of pillow that she'd claimed. She lay silently for a moment, and the words came out before she could stop them.
"I'm sorry about Stinger," she said quietly. "I know he might still be alive, but…"
"It sure doesn't look that way," he finished, and in the warm darkness of the rack, his voice sounded different. Softer, somehow. "I'm sorry about Gaeta. I know he's not dead, but it looks like he might as well be."
"Yeah," Dee said quietly. "But there's probably an explanation."
Neither of them said another word.
***
"Lieutenants."
Dee looked up and sat frozen in surprise. Colonel Tigh stood above her, shaved, hair trimmed, patch over his missing eye and in uniform. She began to smile. "Sir… I…"
"Don't get all sentimental on me, Lieutenant," Tigh said, giving her the barest hint of a smile. He looked down at the floor, where Hoshi had scooted out from under the console. "Mr. Hoshi. Where are we?"
"We got the auxiliary program up and running for in-ship communications, sir, but it's got some glitches that make things more difficult."
"Well, let's get it fixed."
"Yes, sir."
Tigh nodded at them both and headed down to the floor of the CIC. Dee watched him wonderingly as Hoshi slid back under the desk. He tinkered with it for a while, as Dee tried to program a patch into the computer. She was certain it was what the system needed… but only a part of it, apparently.
"Okay, give it a try," Hoshi ordered.
Dee hit the power, and the computer came back online. But as it went through its reboot, the screen turned blue and an error message came up again. "No good," she groaned, rubbing her neck. "We've got to get our hands on a new circuit board."
"Apparently that's not going to happen any time soon." Hoshi scooted out from under the console, a scowl on his face. "Unless you can tell me who the frak on this bucket of bolts hoards the computer equipment."
"Because that's exactly the kind of thing I'd know any more, having been on the Pegasus for the past eight months," Dee shot back. "I don't know, and no one is telling. So get the frak up and help me-"
"The Cylons found us, Mr. Agathon. Your friend Gaeta was on the welcoming committee." Tigh's voice carried over the CIC, cutting Dee off. Dee looked over, and she saw Felix standing in the middle of the CIC, still in his suit as Tigh loomed over him. "Hey!" Tigh shouted. "Look at me! Long as you're here, maybe you can help me out. I'm missing something. I lost it in detention. Since you're so buddy-buddy with the Cylons, maybe you know where it is? How 'bout it? Do you know where my eye is?" Felix looked away, his expression guilty as hell.
"Saul!" Dee and Hoshi both snapped to attention as the Admiral entered, but he was entirely focused on the tableau on the CIC floor.
"Admiral," Tigh said.
"Back to work," Adama ordered the CIC.
Hoshi whistled through his teeth. "Well, that settles that."
Dee cringed. "It does not. XO or not, Tigh's just one man. He doesn't know everything that went on down there."
"Yeah, but superior officers don't exactly attack the officers they command in the middle of the CIC without reason," Hoshi pointed out. "Especially ones they worked closely with."
"Yeah, well, Tigh spent more time these past few years drunk than sober."
"Well, that was a quick sell out," Hoshi said, raising an eyebrow. "I thought the Galactica crew was supposed to be so loyal to each other."
"At least our Commander didn't shoot his XO in the head," Dee snapped.
Hoshi's face clouded over, and for a moment Dee thought he might slap her again. But instead he just swore and pushed back under the console. He did, however, manage to kick her hard in the shin as he did so.
"Lieutenant," a quiet voice said, and Dee looked up in shock to see Felix standing over her. He still looked shaken, but he didn't offer a defense. All he said was, "Hel- Captain Agathon sent me over to help you and Lieutenant Hoshi get communications online."
And there he was, right there in front of her. Dee knew that what she should do was jump up and hug him, and just be grateful he was alive and in one piece. Failing that, she should smile, and as they worked, gently prod the story out of him. Get the information. Find out the truth. Felix would tell her.
But Hoshi had a point. The sight of Tigh was fresh in front of her, and the image of Easy looking for Stinger. Seventeen dead children, no matter how ludicrous that sounded, wasn't an easy thing to forget. And there was evidence there, in the fact that Felix's suit was unpatched, his hands weren't ragged and filthy, and he didn't seem to have a scratch on him.
And when she looked at him, he didn't meet her eyes. That bothered her more than anything.
She pursed her lips. "Thank you, Mr. Gaeta," she said, and he nodded, accepting that she wasn't ready to talk about it yet.
From under the console, Hoshi didn't say a word.
***
"Don't peek," Lee said.
"I don't see how I can, with your hands over my eyes," Dee laughed. Lee guided her forward, and she held onto his hands until he took them away.
"Ta-da!" he said, with a bit of a flourish. "Your new home," he said, sweeping her up into his arms. "And I believe that it's traditional for the man to carry the woman over the threshold."
"In what tradition?" Dee asked, but she was laughing, too. Inwardly, she marveled at the change in Lee. It had only been two days and she wouldn't call him happy, but his stride had a new purpose and confidence was creeping back into his stance, and he was trying. He set her down and she looked around. "These are nice quarters," she said, with a little surprise.
"Yeah, well. I'm not Commander anymore, nothing to command," Lee admitted ruefully, "so I suppose they thought this might ease the blow a bit."
"I'm not complaining." Dee noticed that Lee had managed to find their hastily packed bags, as well. She sighed happily. "If nothing else, just the escape…."
Lee smiled. "CIC is a little tense these days?"
Dee groaned. "I just got off shift trying to fix the systems with Gaeta and Hoshi. If any one of us could speak civilly to the others it would help."
Lee looked at her with concern. "I thought you and Felix-" he began.
Dee shook her head. "Everyone's saying he collaborated, Lee."
"And you believed them? You?"
"I don't know what I believe," Dee admitted, sitting down on the bed. "I know I should talk to him, but it's too soon. I didn't realize I'd be this angry about it until I actually saw him. He stayed Chief of Staff, Lee. And that's his own admission."
Lee sat down beside her, running his hand through his hair. "Wow," he said. "Well, worst case he'll go on trial, and the whole story will come out. What's Hoshi say?"
Dee sighed. "Hoshi's about ready to push him out the airlock himself."
"Still no word on Stinger?"
"Noel ran into Tory Foster on the hangar bay and she showed him the first manifests. He's not on there." Lee cringed. "It's almost certain he's dead."
"He was a good pilot," Lee said. "And a good leader." They sat in silence for a long moment. Then Lee patted her knee. "It will all come out, Dee," he said.
"I know," Dee said. She just wished that she had the patience and the courage to ask.
***
"Where the frak is Gaeta?" Hoshi demanded. "It doesn't take that long to go down to the hangar bay and see about dials and coils."
Dee looked at her watch. "He's been gone for over two hours," she agreed. It wasn't like Felix at all.
"Well, we can't get any farther without a new TRL switch and a new capacitor."
"I'll go see if I can get them," Dee volunteered.
"Yeah, well, don't get lost," Hoshi scowled.
"See if you can get the PCOM program back online," Dee ordered.
Hoshi looked at her curiously. "You do know you're not XO anymore, right?"
Dee stared at him. "I'm just telling you what I was doing," she finally snapped. "Get over yourself." She shook her head and stalked out the door.
But the truth was, she realized as she walked down the crowded corridors, she hadn't really thought about that fact. There was so little time to think about anything, and her own rank and place in the military structure had been as far down the list as what she should do with free time or what the weather had been like back on Sagittaron. But Hoshi was right; she was no longer XO, just Lieutenant Dualla.
She was startled out of her thoughts by the sound of someone crying. She glanced towards the sound automatically, and then stopped, vaguely recognizing the woman. Seelix, her mind supplied, a deckhand that had mustered out and settled on New Caprica, was wedged in between a few crates, as close to privacy as one could get right now on Galactica.
"Are you all right?" Dee asked, expecting Seelix to wave her on.
"No, frak it. That's why I'm sitting here crying," Seelix said. She wiped her nose with her hand, and then looked at Dee again. "Dee?"
"Yeah," Dee said uncertainly.
Seelix sniffled and wiped furiously at her nose again, this time with her sleeve. "You're good friends with Gaeta, right?"
Dee's blood ran cold with fear. "I… yes. We've been friends for a long time."
Seelix struggled to her feet. "We need to talk."
***
"So you've told Cottle already?" Dee said.
"Yeah," Seelix said, leaning back on her hands. They were sitting on boxes in a storage locker, and Dee imagined that Hoshi was going to blow his top that she still hadn't returned, but this story was important. "He said he'd find Gaeta."
"Does Felix need that much medical attention?" Dee asked, alarmed.
"I doubt it. Starbuck kicked him and she was wearing steel-toed boots, but he walked out of the airlock okay." Seelix sighed. "But I knew Cottle would believe me. No one else is going to trust him right now. Not until the story gets around, and even then-"
"People should believe it," Dee said sharply.
Seelix looked at her. "You'd think that. And maybe those of you who were cozied up here on battlestars will. But those of us who were on the ground, living with the Cylon boots on our throats and watching him do their bidding every day…. Believe me, it's easier to believe what we accused him of." Seelix swallowed and rushed on. "It's easier to have someone to blame."
"Well, what happens now?" Dee asked.
Seelix shrugged. "Tigh said he was going to talk to Adama, and I think Tyrol was going with him. Cottle went looking for Gaeta. And the others… I don't know." She looked at Dee. "I'm sorry."
Dee bit her lip. "I'm not the one you need to apologize to," she said finally. "I'm just the one who cozied up on a battlestar."
"I didn't mean you," Seelix insisted.
"I know," Dee said, although she had. "I'm on duty. I really need to get back to work," she said firmly, and Seelix nodded. She slid off the box and turned back around. "You let him go," she told Seelix, because it was the only comfort she could give and still be truthful. "After you knew what he did, you let him go."
"I know," Seelix said, and she sighed. "And I guess that's what will help me live with it, huh?"
"Guess so."
***
"Where the frak have you been?" Hoshi demanded as soon as Dee walked in. "Is there some giant monster lurking outside the CIC waiting to eat anyone who steps out the door?"
"Frak off, Hoshi," Dee said. She extended the parts. "Here's the switch and here's the capacitor."
He snatched them from her hands. "I don't suppose you saw Gaeta as you were wandering the halls."
"I'm here."
Dee turned, and saw Felix standing awkwardly by the console. It was a testament to how familiar a sight he was in the CIC that she didn't realize that he was wearing his uniform immediately.
Hoshi did, however. His eyes raked Felix up and down, from head to foot. "It took you three hours to get a uniform?" he demanded.
"No." Felix was pale, and Dee noticed his hands were shaking. She wanted to reach out and take one, but they were on the CIC floor.
"Lieutenant Dualla," Adama said, coming over and Dee snapped to attention. "Are communications back online?"
"We got the parts we needed, sir. If we're right, communications should be back online in a few minutes."
"Good." Adama looked at her and then Hoshi, and then clapped Felix on the shoulder. It was a brief, perfunctory gesture, but the meaning of it was clearly not lost on Hoshi, whose eyes widened. Felix flushed and looked straight ahead, not meeting anyone's eyes. "As soon as you get communications online, we need more help on getting nav back on." Adama told Hoshi.
"Aye, sir," Hoshi said, and Adama walked off to the center of the CIC.
Hoshi and Dee both looked at Felix, who didn't say a word. Finally, Hoshi sighed. "Well, then, let's get this station operational. Gaeta, would you hand me that set of pliers, please?"
"Right away," Felix said, and Dee began to breathe again.
***
"Felix."
Felix flinched as she spoke. It wasn't obvious- not a big gesture or a large cower, but Dee knew him well enough to see it. But he turned around, and when he did she had to swallow hard, because his face had that smooth, impenetrable professional veneer she'd seen him present others with time and time again. "Lieutenant," he said.
I'm sorry, Dee wanted to say, but the words just wouldn't come out. I should have said more. I should have asked more. But all she managed was, "I'll see you tomorrow."
Felix smiled thinly. "I hope so," he said.
***
"Is everything okay?" Lee asked Dee as she undressed for bed.
"Yeah. I'm just… worried," Dee admitted.
"Can't say I blame you," Lee said, sitting on their bed. "Have you heard what President Zarek's been doing?" he asked, his voice mocking on the title. "That's what happened to Jammer," Lee said bitterly. "And the captain of the Monarch found evidence that it happened to someone over there, too. A Lisa Chadwick. He called the Admiral in on it."
Dee sighed. "It almost happened to Felix, too," she told Lee. "But it turned out he was an inside source for the Resistance."
"Really? Gaeta was?" Lee sounded impressed at that, like he hadn't expected it. "Glad they found out in time," he said. Dee nodded, and Lee laid back on the bed, arms behind his head. "It's not going to be easy getting the ships integrated," he said. "We've got all these warring factions. The Galactica crew, the Pegasus crew, the people who were on the ground and originally from Galactica, the people who were on the ground and originally from Pegasus… you know, I'd almost welcome a Cylon attack."
"Easier to deal with?" Dee laughed.
"No, a common enemy," Lee said seriously. "If the crew doesn't get something else to fight, they may very well end up fighting each other."
"You're exaggerating."
"Maybe." But Lee didn't look like he believed it.
***
"So I guess we're going to hold a wake," Noel said, and his voice lacked any of its normal humor. "It's been five days. The final manifests have been posted, and he's not on any of the ships." He looked down at his plate.
"How's Easy doing?" Thumper asked.
"She's flying," Noel said. "I think it's the only thing that's keeping her together right now. Shark's got her flying with him."
"That's good," Tiger agreed.
"Got room for one more?" Showboat was balancing a plate and a glass, and looking exhausted.
"I can move over," Dee volunteered. "Share my chair." She glanced around the mess hall. It was still crowded, although the schedule was starting to settle so that people were able to spread meals out a little better.
"What's Jess got to say about the funeral?" Tiger asked.
"He was Gemonese," Noel sighed. "He wanted something fairly traditional."
The pilots began to discuss it, and for a moment Dee tuned out, looking around. Lee was right, she noticed. The Pegasus crews were sitting together, and the people from the Galactica were clustered at their own tables. And even within that, it was broken down by those who had settled on the planet and those who had remained on the ship. Not as a hard and fast rule, but definitely as a generality.
To her surprise, however, she saw Hoshi sitting at the next table, essentially by himself. Three deckhands were eating on the other side, clustered together and having an enthusiastic conversation that he was clearly not a part of. She was about to comment on it to Noel when Felix walked in.
Schedules had meant she hadn't eaten the same time as Felix had the past two days, so she wasn't quite expecting the volume in conversation to still drop. Word of what Felix had done on New Caprica had gotten around the ship, but Dee noticed that Seelix was right: people still treated him like they'd believed he'd sold them all into their deaths. He balanced his bowl, glancing around casually for a seat.
Hoshi waved to him, half standing, and the volume of conversation dropped a little bit more.
Felix looked around uncomfortably for a moment, and then walked over. Like a radio being turned up, everything in the room returned to normal. But Dee found herself straining to hear exactly what Hoshi was going to say to Felix.
At first she didn't understand their conversation. Partly because she couldn't hear, but partly because what she could hear was computer talk. Dee knew computers, but the two of them went beyond that. Felix kept himself angled away slightly, and although Hoshi got him talking, the distant, professional tone still had a hold on his voice. For his part, Hoshi looked casual, but deliberately so. It was an interesting performance, and one Dee realized she'd never seen from him.
She noticed Narcho was watching them, too. His brow was furrowed and his face was dark, but when Dee raised her eyebrows questioningly, he just shook his head.
The room began to empty out, and Dee continued to half-listen to the conversation about Stinger's funeral and half-listen to Hoshi and Felix talk technobabble. She managed to get a seat closer to them when Tiger left, and now it was very easy to hear them… just nothing worth hearing. She was about to get up when she saw Hoshi lean in. Felix leaned back slightly, but Hoshi put a hand on his arm.
"Listen," he said, his voice low, "I just wanted to apologize for the way I've treated you since you got on this ship. I should have at least asked to hear your side of the story, and I didn't. I just went ahead and assumed. I'm sorry."
Felix's eyes widened, and Dee knew from his expression that no one had said anything like this to him yet. Gods knew she herself hadn't, and the guilt twisted her insides. He nodded stiffly. "Thanks," he said. Then he pulled himself together. "Seriously, thank you. I… I appreciate it."
Hoshi smiled, and released Felix's arm and extended his hand. "I don't think I've ever mentioned it, but my name's Louis."
Felix smiled. "Mine's Felix."
Dee looked away.
***
"And so, with our thoughts and love, Cole Robert Taylor, we send your spirit into the universe. So say we all."
"So say we all."
"May the Gods look down on you with grace, and may they walk with you."
"And also with you." It was an addition not often used in Colonial Fleet funerals, but Dee had heard it many times on Sagittaron. She noticed that many of the mourners, including Lee and Noel, who were flanking her, didn't know the correct response. She also noticed that Hoshi, standing on the other side of Noel, did.
The priest raised his hands, blessing the gathering. People realized the service was over and began to move towards the exit, stopping to comfort Jess, who was standing in her dress grays. Hoshi reached her before Dee did. He saluted her formally, and then to Dee's mild surprise, hugged her.
"I'm so sorry," Dee heard him say softly, in a voice more compassionate than she'd ever suspected him of having. "He was a good man, and a good friend. I was proud to have fought with him, and I know the Admiral was proud of him, too. She always was." Jess hugged him back fiercely.
"Damn it," Noel swore, "I have got to stop letting him go in front of me in funerals. He always comes up with good stuff to say."
"See what I mean about divides?" was Lee's comment.
"Cain means more to them than the Old Man does right now," Dee whispered back. "It's a funeral, Lee."
Lee nodded, and then suddenly it was Dee's turn.
"I'm so sorry," was all she could think of to say.
Jess nodded stiffly, and Dee moved aside to let Lee pay his respects. He shook Jess's hand and said, "He was a good man, and I was very proud to have him serve under me."
Jess's expression became colder. "Thank you, sir," she said, her voice formal. She turned away before Lee moved, greeting the next mourner.
"Well, that was…" Lee began, but trailed off as they moved away.
"You've said it yourself," Noel, who had been unabashedly eavesdropping, put in. "We ran while she and Cole were stuck on that rock."
"She was fine with you and Hoshi," Lee pointed out.
"We weren't in command." Noel said it like it was obvious. "When your new life is gone, you can't hate everyone in your old one."
It all swirled together, the Galactica and the Pegasus and New Caprica and explosions and death, Felix and Lee and Noel and Seelix and Adama and Hoshi and Helo. And all Dee could do was nod.
***
Dee looked up from her console, looked at the clock, and looked down again. This was ridiculous. She should not feel like a teenager trying to ask a crush on a date. Felix was one of her best friends, he had been since she'd been assigned to Galactica. She'd take a page out of Hoshi's book and just tackle it head on.
Gods, she couldn't believe she was actually following Hoshi. But then, he shouldn't have been the first one to say something kind to Felix, either. It should have been her.
As if conjured by her thoughts, Hoshi appeared at her side. "Reporting for duty," he informed her. "You're relieved."
"Thank you, Lieutenant," Dee said haughtily. She noticed he had a manual in his hands, but on closer inspection it was for the tactical station. "You think your shift's going to be slow enough for reading?" she asked. "Besides, I thought you knew it all from the Persephone."
"Which was seventeen years ago," Hoshi reminded her. "Frak off."
"You're really enjoying the fact I'm not your XO anymore, aren't you?" Dee asked.
"Every second," Hoshi said. "What did you do to this station?" He began rearranging the equipment. Dee rolled her eyes.
"It's fine. Don't frak it up," she said. "And if Zarek calls, make sure you put him through to the Admiral right away. Adama loves that."
"Ha ha. Go away. I have work to do." Hoshi opened his manual and flicked his hand. "Shoo!"
"'Shoo?'" Dee mocked. "And you were a favorite of Cain? Or is that your Saggitarion mother talking again?"
"Frak off, bitch."
"That sounds more like yourself." A call came in and Hoshi leapt to it, and bereft of any other procrastination, Dee turned towards the tactical station.
Felix was just standing up, stretching as Thorton relieved him. Dee went over, touching him on the arm. He flinched away, but she pretended not to notice. "Hi, Felix."
His smile started with that cool, professional look he gave others, and but kept creeping up his face and into his eyes, until it was almost as warm as she remembered. "Oh, hey Dee. What's up?"
Dee swallowed hard. "I'm sorry I haven't been around much since-"
Felix's smile cooled a few degrees as he cut in to her apology. "It's all right. We've all been busy."
"But-"
"It's all right," he insisted, with a little more steel in his voice. He started out of the CIC, but the way he shortened his stride made it obvious he assumed she'd be walking with him. "One of these days everything will settle back down to normal. Better sooner than later."
Dee nodded, picking up the thinly veiled message clearly. "Lee's going to be on duty tonight," she told Felix. "He's flying CAP. Do you want to stop by for a glass of wine?"
"All right." Felix nodded, and then turned toward the hangar deck. "I've got a meeting with Zarek over on Colonial One. I'll see you tonight."
"With Zarek? Felix, should you-"
"It will be fine," he said, and there was no patience in his voice. "I'll see you tonight," he repeated.
Dee watched him walk away. "Felix?" she called, right before he stepped through the hatch.
He turned around. His posture was military straight, but Dee suddenly saw how he was holding himself that way consciously, even though it was a part of him. He was barely holding it together, she realized, and the words be careful died on her lips. She looked at him standing in the hatch, framed by the light of the hangar bay behind him, and forced a smile.
"I like your hair long," she said. "It looks good like that."
He nodded to her, smiled, and closed the door behind him.
On to Part 6