For You [12]
Title: For You
Beta: u-know
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Drama, Angst
Summary: His life turned around the moment he met Yunho.
When Jaejoong woke up, he was disappointed to note that the bed was empty. He bit his lip and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Yunho’s side of the bed was fixed, and if Jaejoong hadn’t felt his boyfriend’s body against his during the night, he would’ve never believed that Yunho had even gone home.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Jaejoong cursed aloud as he drew his knees close to his chest and stared at the empty part of the bed.
Yunho had somehow become an expert at escaping him, and the most he’d gotten out of Yunho’s mouth about his family issues was that they were complicated which was absolutely no help at all.
Every morning, Yunho left early because he had some high profile case to work on, and every night, he came home late because of the same case. Jaejoong had tried staying up, but most nights he was too worn out from babysitting the twins, and Yunho came home at late hours.
He sighed heavily and just as he was about to throw a pillow against the wall in frustration, his phone began to ring. Jaejoong reached over to the night stand and picked up his phone, not bothering to check who the caller was.
“What?” he snapped irritably.
“Is something wrong with Yunho?” Yoochun questioned on the other end of the line worriedly, “I just saw him at a coffee shop, and he looked really bad -“
“Yes, there is something wrong with him,” Jaejoong replied, “I don’t know what exactly because he’s being so fucking secretive about it. I feel like I’m going to explode in frustration -“
“Do you have any clue about what he could be upset about?”
Jaejoong clenched his pillow tightly and sighed softly. He lied back down onto his bed and stared up at the white ceiling of the bedroom, “He has some sort of issue with his family. He met his sister a few days ago, he got mad, and he apologized…everything’s a complete mess but he doesn’t want to talk about it.”
Yoochun was silent for a few seconds before he replied, “So, he’s having family issues, and you tried pushing him to talk about it?”
“Sohyun advised me to let him open up, but it’s obvious that that’s not going to work because he’s nothing like Wonjun,” Jaejoong muttered as he turned over to his side and sighed, “I don’t think he’s going to talk about it any time soon.”
Yoochun sighed, “Usually I’d advise you to stay out of things too, but Yunho looked so haggard Jaejoong. I talked to Junsu earlier, and he said that Yunho’s been in pretty bad shape too.”
“I don’t know what to do,” Jaejoong said softly, “I don’t like him being like this. I…I know what it’s like to keep things inside, and this isn’t healthy for him. You should’ve seen him when he saw his sister Yoochun. It was like he was a completely different person.”
“Seeing as it’s about a family matter…have you tried talking to Changmin?”
Jaejoong froze, and he looked at his bed sheets blankly. “No…I didn’t think of that…how long have they known each other again?”
“As far as I know, they’ve known each other since university,” Yoochun answered, “He was the one that introduced Junsu and I to Yunho actually. If you need answers and Yunho’s not giving you any, I think Changmin would be the best person to help you look for answers.”
Jaejoong sighed, “Yunho’s not going to be happy if he finds out…but you’re right. He told me to stay out of it, but Yoochun, I don’t think I can. I’m so worried.”
“I’m worried too Jaejoong, but I’m sure Yunho will come to understand eventually. He loves you, and you’re doing what you think is best,” Yoochun replied reassuringly, “He’ll understand.”
“Okay then, I’ll try Changmin,” Jaejoong murmured before he thanked Yoochun for his advice and hung up. He lied down silently in bed and sighed before he drew his knees closer and hugged his pillow tighter.
He hoped Yunho would understand.
o-o-o
Changmin was visibly surprised when he saw Jaejoong seated at the lobby of his office building. Jaejoong stood up and immediately handed him a box of cupcakes that he’d baked earlier in the day.
“What do you need?” Changmin asked as he accepted the box. He looked at Jaejoong and frowned, “Is this about Yunho?”
“Yes.”
Changmin sighed, “You want to ask me about his family, don’t you?”
Jaejoong bit his lip and nodded, “He’s not talking to me. Do you know anything about what happened? I need to find some way to get him to talk -“
“Honestly, I don’t know much,” Changmin replied with a shrug, “Yunho’s a difficult person to talk to…I was hoping he’d change after he met you, but it doesn’t seem like he has. He hasn’t talked about them at all?”
Jaejoong shook his head, “Barely anything. All he said was that things are complicated.”
Changmin sighed, “I have a meeting to go to, so I can’t talk for long.” He glanced at a nearby café that was inside his building and pointed at it, “Let’s go there and talk. I’ll buy you a cup of coffee - you definitely look like you need it.”
Jaejoong followed Changmin inside the café, and as soon as they were both seated with their drinks, Jaejoong decided to speak.
“His sister met him a few days ago, and it was…in a way, my fault,” Jaejoong explained slowly, “I met her at the twins’ school, and I had no idea that she was Yunho’s sister, but when Yunho saw her -“
“He got angry?”
Jaejoong nodded and sipped his coffee, “Angry would almost seem like an understatement.”
Changmin frowned and glanced down at his drink before he raised his eyes to meet Jaejoong’s, “Yunho never explained things to me, but from what I managed to gather over the years, I know that his family didn’t accept him when he came out to them.”
“That’s it?” Jaejoong questioned, and when Changmin raised his eyebrow, he quickly amended his statement, “I mean, there has to be something more. He looked so angry, and I know he’s still hurting about what happened.”
“I don’t know what could’ve happened aside from their rejection, but it must’ve been something bad,” Changmin replied, “All I know is that Yunho’s parents weren’t the ones who paid for his university tuition. He lived with his uncle here in Seoul, and as far as I know, he’s only seen his parents once since he left Gwangju - at his uncle’s funeral.”
Jaejoong was silent for a few moments, mulling over Changmin’s response. He gripped his cup a little tighter and asked, “When did his uncle die?”
“He died during our last year of law school,” Changmin answered, “Yunho was a complete mess when he died, he looked terrible and he seemed ready to give up completely, but he somehow managed to pull through after he read a letter that his uncle left for him.”
“So…what about his sister?”
Changmin shook his head, “I don’t know. Yunho never talked about her.” The younger man looked at Jaejoong in concern, “Yunho’s the kind of person that wants to fix everyone…but look at him right now, he’s a mess. He’s spent so many years dealing with his family issues on his own…he needs you. He’s been abandoned, so you can’t just leave him -“
“I didn’t even think of doing that,” Jaejoong replied, his temper flaring, “I’m going to help him get through whatever it is that’s -“
Changmin raised his hands up as a sign of apology, “I’m sorry. I didn’t word what I wanted to say correctly. What I meant to say is that Yunho needs a constant in his life, and that person is you. He’d do anything for you. If you are patient and tread around him carefully, I’m sure you’d be able to help him.”
Jaejoong sighed softly, “How will I be able to help him with family issues when I have my own to deal with? I know Yunho loves me, but with my family track record…he’d have doubts in confiding in me.” He frowned and glanced at his phone, “I haven’t talked to my own father in months.”
“Don’t expect immediate results,” Changmin murmured wisely, “All things take time.”
o-o-o
Jaejoong jolted awake due to the sound of his phone ringing loudly in his ear. He scrambled around his sofa, and he cursed in irritation when he accidentally knocked his phone down to the ground. He picked it up and answered it, “Hello?”
There was silence on the other end of the line, and Jaejoong moved his phone away from his ear to look at who the caller was.
It was his father.
He stared down at his phone screen before he brought it back to his ear, “Hello?”
“I’m surprised you answered, and I’m even more surprised that you haven’t hung up on me yet,” Jaejoong’s father spoke slowly, “I want to talk to you -“
“Is that why you’re calling?” Jaejoong spat, “Are you trying to remind me that I’m a fuck up?” he took a deep breath and leaned back against the sofa, “I don’t even know why I’m still talking to you -“
“Sohyun and I have started communicating again, and…I thought that it would be only proper for me to try repairing my relationship with you.”
Jaejoong scoffed, “Are you dying?”
“No,” his father replied, “Why, is that the only way for you to start communicating with me again? You may hate me, but I didn’t think that you’d -“
“I don’t want you to die,” Jaejoong muttered softly, “What do you want? I’m unemployed, I’m still gay, and I’m still the same person I was back when we last met...with maybe minor improvements here and there.”
“I’m sorry.”
Seconds passed by, and Jaejoong bit his lip, “For? I hardly think an apology should be done over the phone father. I’m not one of your employees or someone you work with, I’m your son. I don’t think one phone call is enough.”
Jaejoong’s father let out a sigh and replied, “But it’s a start, isn’t it?”
“Yes, I suppose it is,” Jaejoong murmured as he shifted on his sofa. He recalled something his father had said to him months prior and asked, “I thought you had reached your limit with me though -“
“As a father, I am not supposed to have a limit with you,” Jaejoong’s father replied stiffly, the words seeming rehearsed, “Or at least, that is what I have heard from Sohyun.”
Jaejoong laughed loudly, “Are you taking parenting classes from your own daughter?” he shook his head, and a small smile graced his face, “I…I don’t, this is all very sudden, and I don’t know why you called out of the blue.”
“We have not talked in a long time, and the last time we met…I am not proud of what I have done to you over the years, but I recognize my failings as a father,” the older man began slowly, “Despite what I said to you that night, I have been keeping tabs on you.”
“You’ve…you’ve been watching me?”
Jaejoong’s father sighed, “I’ve just ensured that you haven’t gotten into any messes. I’ve kept an eye over your bank account, and -“
“I told you, I don’t need your help -“
“I am well aware of that. You have proven yourself to me,” the older man cut in. He sighed once again, “Listen, I just wish for one thing from you, and all I ask is for a chance to see you again. Let me…let me try to understand you.”
“You’re more than a few years too late.”
“I understand -“
Jaejoong sighed, “But, I suppose…maybe we could try.” He bit his lip, “I still don’t forgive you, and I still don’t trust you, but…I don’t think I could reject you. Despite everything…you have shown patience with me on occasion, and…I guess I deserve some blame as well for how things have ended up between us.”
Silence fell between them, but it was Jaejoong’s father who broke the silence first.
“Thank you.”
Jaejoong felt himself tear up, and he was glad that his father was not in front of him because he had never liked crying or looking weak in front of the older man. He smiled as the tears fell, and he held his phone tighter.
“You’re welcome.”
o-o-o
Jaejoong glanced at his clock worriedly. It was almost one in the morning. Yunho hadn’t answered his calls, and his call to Sohyun about their father had ended more than two hours ago.
He tried calling Yunho again, but he didn’t answer.
His heart was pounding in his chest, and Jaejoong stood up to pace around the room. He’d called Yunho’s office, and had been told by Yunho’s secretary that Yunho had left at ten in the evening.
Jaejoong had called Yoochun, Changmin and Junsu but all of them told him that they hadn’t seen him within the day. He tried every single mutual friend but none of them knew where Yunho was.
He looked around their apartment, trying to find some clue about where Yunho could be at that moment, but he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary in their living room or in their kitchen. Everything looked normal, and nothing stuck out. Desperate for a clue, Jaejoong headed over to their bedroom, and he let out a frustrated noise when he noticed that everything looked as it had earlier.
It was only when he approached the bed that he noticed a slip of paper sticking out of Yunho’s desk. Jaejoong walked up to it slowly, and he slid the desk drawer open to pull out the note.
He smoothened it out on the desk, and Jaejoong froze when he skimmed through the letter. The letter was from years back, but it shared the same date as the previous day, and its contents were about the death of Yunho’s uncle.
Suddenly everything clicked. Jaejoong immediately dropped the note and left the apartment quickly, his heart pounding in his chest.
He knew where he would find Yunho.
< >
Author’s Note: Almost done! Only three more chapters to go. XD Sorry I’ve been so slow in updating. ;A; I keep falling asleep. OTL I’m so busy lately. :< I’ll try to keep updating at least twice a week though! XD I love you guys, and thank you for all the comments. :)
Beta: u-know
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Drama, Angst
Summary: His life turned around the moment he met Yunho.
When Jaejoong woke up, he was disappointed to note that the bed was empty. He bit his lip and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Yunho’s side of the bed was fixed, and if Jaejoong hadn’t felt his boyfriend’s body against his during the night, he would’ve never believed that Yunho had even gone home.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Jaejoong cursed aloud as he drew his knees close to his chest and stared at the empty part of the bed.
Yunho had somehow become an expert at escaping him, and the most he’d gotten out of Yunho’s mouth about his family issues was that they were complicated which was absolutely no help at all.
Every morning, Yunho left early because he had some high profile case to work on, and every night, he came home late because of the same case. Jaejoong had tried staying up, but most nights he was too worn out from babysitting the twins, and Yunho came home at late hours.
He sighed heavily and just as he was about to throw a pillow against the wall in frustration, his phone began to ring. Jaejoong reached over to the night stand and picked up his phone, not bothering to check who the caller was.
“What?” he snapped irritably.
“Is something wrong with Yunho?” Yoochun questioned on the other end of the line worriedly, “I just saw him at a coffee shop, and he looked really bad -“
“Yes, there is something wrong with him,” Jaejoong replied, “I don’t know what exactly because he’s being so fucking secretive about it. I feel like I’m going to explode in frustration -“
“Do you have any clue about what he could be upset about?”
Jaejoong clenched his pillow tightly and sighed softly. He lied back down onto his bed and stared up at the white ceiling of the bedroom, “He has some sort of issue with his family. He met his sister a few days ago, he got mad, and he apologized…everything’s a complete mess but he doesn’t want to talk about it.”
Yoochun was silent for a few seconds before he replied, “So, he’s having family issues, and you tried pushing him to talk about it?”
“Sohyun advised me to let him open up, but it’s obvious that that’s not going to work because he’s nothing like Wonjun,” Jaejoong muttered as he turned over to his side and sighed, “I don’t think he’s going to talk about it any time soon.”
Yoochun sighed, “Usually I’d advise you to stay out of things too, but Yunho looked so haggard Jaejoong. I talked to Junsu earlier, and he said that Yunho’s been in pretty bad shape too.”
“I don’t know what to do,” Jaejoong said softly, “I don’t like him being like this. I…I know what it’s like to keep things inside, and this isn’t healthy for him. You should’ve seen him when he saw his sister Yoochun. It was like he was a completely different person.”
“Seeing as it’s about a family matter…have you tried talking to Changmin?”
Jaejoong froze, and he looked at his bed sheets blankly. “No…I didn’t think of that…how long have they known each other again?”
“As far as I know, they’ve known each other since university,” Yoochun answered, “He was the one that introduced Junsu and I to Yunho actually. If you need answers and Yunho’s not giving you any, I think Changmin would be the best person to help you look for answers.”
Jaejoong sighed, “Yunho’s not going to be happy if he finds out…but you’re right. He told me to stay out of it, but Yoochun, I don’t think I can. I’m so worried.”
“I’m worried too Jaejoong, but I’m sure Yunho will come to understand eventually. He loves you, and you’re doing what you think is best,” Yoochun replied reassuringly, “He’ll understand.”
“Okay then, I’ll try Changmin,” Jaejoong murmured before he thanked Yoochun for his advice and hung up. He lied down silently in bed and sighed before he drew his knees closer and hugged his pillow tighter.
He hoped Yunho would understand.
o-o-o
Changmin was visibly surprised when he saw Jaejoong seated at the lobby of his office building. Jaejoong stood up and immediately handed him a box of cupcakes that he’d baked earlier in the day.
“What do you need?” Changmin asked as he accepted the box. He looked at Jaejoong and frowned, “Is this about Yunho?”
“Yes.”
Changmin sighed, “You want to ask me about his family, don’t you?”
Jaejoong bit his lip and nodded, “He’s not talking to me. Do you know anything about what happened? I need to find some way to get him to talk -“
“Honestly, I don’t know much,” Changmin replied with a shrug, “Yunho’s a difficult person to talk to…I was hoping he’d change after he met you, but it doesn’t seem like he has. He hasn’t talked about them at all?”
Jaejoong shook his head, “Barely anything. All he said was that things are complicated.”
Changmin sighed, “I have a meeting to go to, so I can’t talk for long.” He glanced at a nearby café that was inside his building and pointed at it, “Let’s go there and talk. I’ll buy you a cup of coffee - you definitely look like you need it.”
Jaejoong followed Changmin inside the café, and as soon as they were both seated with their drinks, Jaejoong decided to speak.
“His sister met him a few days ago, and it was…in a way, my fault,” Jaejoong explained slowly, “I met her at the twins’ school, and I had no idea that she was Yunho’s sister, but when Yunho saw her -“
“He got angry?”
Jaejoong nodded and sipped his coffee, “Angry would almost seem like an understatement.”
Changmin frowned and glanced down at his drink before he raised his eyes to meet Jaejoong’s, “Yunho never explained things to me, but from what I managed to gather over the years, I know that his family didn’t accept him when he came out to them.”
“That’s it?” Jaejoong questioned, and when Changmin raised his eyebrow, he quickly amended his statement, “I mean, there has to be something more. He looked so angry, and I know he’s still hurting about what happened.”
“I don’t know what could’ve happened aside from their rejection, but it must’ve been something bad,” Changmin replied, “All I know is that Yunho’s parents weren’t the ones who paid for his university tuition. He lived with his uncle here in Seoul, and as far as I know, he’s only seen his parents once since he left Gwangju - at his uncle’s funeral.”
Jaejoong was silent for a few moments, mulling over Changmin’s response. He gripped his cup a little tighter and asked, “When did his uncle die?”
“He died during our last year of law school,” Changmin answered, “Yunho was a complete mess when he died, he looked terrible and he seemed ready to give up completely, but he somehow managed to pull through after he read a letter that his uncle left for him.”
“So…what about his sister?”
Changmin shook his head, “I don’t know. Yunho never talked about her.” The younger man looked at Jaejoong in concern, “Yunho’s the kind of person that wants to fix everyone…but look at him right now, he’s a mess. He’s spent so many years dealing with his family issues on his own…he needs you. He’s been abandoned, so you can’t just leave him -“
“I didn’t even think of doing that,” Jaejoong replied, his temper flaring, “I’m going to help him get through whatever it is that’s -“
Changmin raised his hands up as a sign of apology, “I’m sorry. I didn’t word what I wanted to say correctly. What I meant to say is that Yunho needs a constant in his life, and that person is you. He’d do anything for you. If you are patient and tread around him carefully, I’m sure you’d be able to help him.”
Jaejoong sighed softly, “How will I be able to help him with family issues when I have my own to deal with? I know Yunho loves me, but with my family track record…he’d have doubts in confiding in me.” He frowned and glanced at his phone, “I haven’t talked to my own father in months.”
“Don’t expect immediate results,” Changmin murmured wisely, “All things take time.”
o-o-o
Jaejoong jolted awake due to the sound of his phone ringing loudly in his ear. He scrambled around his sofa, and he cursed in irritation when he accidentally knocked his phone down to the ground. He picked it up and answered it, “Hello?”
There was silence on the other end of the line, and Jaejoong moved his phone away from his ear to look at who the caller was.
It was his father.
He stared down at his phone screen before he brought it back to his ear, “Hello?”
“I’m surprised you answered, and I’m even more surprised that you haven’t hung up on me yet,” Jaejoong’s father spoke slowly, “I want to talk to you -“
“Is that why you’re calling?” Jaejoong spat, “Are you trying to remind me that I’m a fuck up?” he took a deep breath and leaned back against the sofa, “I don’t even know why I’m still talking to you -“
“Sohyun and I have started communicating again, and…I thought that it would be only proper for me to try repairing my relationship with you.”
Jaejoong scoffed, “Are you dying?”
“No,” his father replied, “Why, is that the only way for you to start communicating with me again? You may hate me, but I didn’t think that you’d -“
“I don’t want you to die,” Jaejoong muttered softly, “What do you want? I’m unemployed, I’m still gay, and I’m still the same person I was back when we last met...with maybe minor improvements here and there.”
“I’m sorry.”
Seconds passed by, and Jaejoong bit his lip, “For? I hardly think an apology should be done over the phone father. I’m not one of your employees or someone you work with, I’m your son. I don’t think one phone call is enough.”
Jaejoong’s father let out a sigh and replied, “But it’s a start, isn’t it?”
“Yes, I suppose it is,” Jaejoong murmured as he shifted on his sofa. He recalled something his father had said to him months prior and asked, “I thought you had reached your limit with me though -“
“As a father, I am not supposed to have a limit with you,” Jaejoong’s father replied stiffly, the words seeming rehearsed, “Or at least, that is what I have heard from Sohyun.”
Jaejoong laughed loudly, “Are you taking parenting classes from your own daughter?” he shook his head, and a small smile graced his face, “I…I don’t, this is all very sudden, and I don’t know why you called out of the blue.”
“We have not talked in a long time, and the last time we met…I am not proud of what I have done to you over the years, but I recognize my failings as a father,” the older man began slowly, “Despite what I said to you that night, I have been keeping tabs on you.”
“You’ve…you’ve been watching me?”
Jaejoong’s father sighed, “I’ve just ensured that you haven’t gotten into any messes. I’ve kept an eye over your bank account, and -“
“I told you, I don’t need your help -“
“I am well aware of that. You have proven yourself to me,” the older man cut in. He sighed once again, “Listen, I just wish for one thing from you, and all I ask is for a chance to see you again. Let me…let me try to understand you.”
“You’re more than a few years too late.”
“I understand -“
Jaejoong sighed, “But, I suppose…maybe we could try.” He bit his lip, “I still don’t forgive you, and I still don’t trust you, but…I don’t think I could reject you. Despite everything…you have shown patience with me on occasion, and…I guess I deserve some blame as well for how things have ended up between us.”
Silence fell between them, but it was Jaejoong’s father who broke the silence first.
“Thank you.”
Jaejoong felt himself tear up, and he was glad that his father was not in front of him because he had never liked crying or looking weak in front of the older man. He smiled as the tears fell, and he held his phone tighter.
“You’re welcome.”
o-o-o
Jaejoong glanced at his clock worriedly. It was almost one in the morning. Yunho hadn’t answered his calls, and his call to Sohyun about their father had ended more than two hours ago.
He tried calling Yunho again, but he didn’t answer.
His heart was pounding in his chest, and Jaejoong stood up to pace around the room. He’d called Yunho’s office, and had been told by Yunho’s secretary that Yunho had left at ten in the evening.
Jaejoong had called Yoochun, Changmin and Junsu but all of them told him that they hadn’t seen him within the day. He tried every single mutual friend but none of them knew where Yunho was.
He looked around their apartment, trying to find some clue about where Yunho could be at that moment, but he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary in their living room or in their kitchen. Everything looked normal, and nothing stuck out. Desperate for a clue, Jaejoong headed over to their bedroom, and he let out a frustrated noise when he noticed that everything looked as it had earlier.
It was only when he approached the bed that he noticed a slip of paper sticking out of Yunho’s desk. Jaejoong walked up to it slowly, and he slid the desk drawer open to pull out the note.
He smoothened it out on the desk, and Jaejoong froze when he skimmed through the letter. The letter was from years back, but it shared the same date as the previous day, and its contents were about the death of Yunho’s uncle.
Suddenly everything clicked. Jaejoong immediately dropped the note and left the apartment quickly, his heart pounding in his chest.
He knew where he would find Yunho.
< >
Author’s Note: Almost done! Only three more chapters to go. XD Sorry I’ve been so slow in updating. ;A; I keep falling asleep. OTL I’m so busy lately. :< I’ll try to keep updating at least twice a week though! XD I love you guys, and thank you for all the comments. :)