ok so i'm a little miffed. i'm not pissed, i'm not angry, i'm just a little put off. sometimes guys can be total assholes, and sometimes they just do things that make you mad but you still know that underneath that they're still good. well granted i don't have the rights to really bitch about boys, i think Claire has all the rights in the world ( Read more... )

Ahhhhh, it feels good to be home. away from that hosptial and the pervasive unfriendliness and awkwardness. it just wasn't fun there. i'm not saying they were a bunch of assholes but they definitely didn't put forth a lot of effort in making me feel accepted. sure there were the few that actually treated me like a normal person, but to the rest of ( Read more... )

i made it! i'm so happy i could burst. i had my final eval today and i sat down with Ray with my head spinning and my nerves on edge, and he didn't mention a single word about the repeats or anything else bad that i could have done to get me in trouble with the school. the eval was basically a bunch of comments to the effect of "you could have done ( Read more... )

well i think i've finally started to calm down a bit, the terror seems to come in waves. i'll be ok for a time then something will pop into my head and i'll be overcome with dread and fear, i can't breathe, i can't think, i just want to curl up into a ball and disappear. i was fine all day today because i was a very bad girl and i snuck a look at ( Read more... )

i don't know how to make this feeling go away, it's almost like a giant fist is clenching my chest and stomach every time i think about the possibility of being kicked out of the program. i know there are much more terrible things than that, but for me this is my biggest fear, not getting my RT. and i would never be able to forgive myself for ( Read more... )

i hate worrying to the point of nausea. it's a horrible thing, and i've only done it a few times in my life but when i do, it sucks. i can't think about anything but what is making me worry. in this case it's my final eval at clinic. my biggest fear is of their big thing on making sure you have someone watching you while you do a repeat. i just ( Read more... )

two days down, three more to go this week and four and a half next week. i can't wait! i want OUUUUUUUTT!! although so far this week hasn't been too bad, there have been some happenings that have made the days more bearable. take for instance the fact that Monday they updated the CPSI system that connects all the areas in the hospital so if someone ( Read more... )

only two weeks left of clinical. i have a feeling they are going to be the two longest weeks of my life. it has gotten so slow and boring there i can't stand it. granted the first 13 weeks weren't the greatest either but at least it was somewhat busy due to the ski season. right now it's so dead i could drop a pin and you'd hear it echo throughout ( Read more... )

i'm finally done for this week! i'm so happy to be out of that hospital for three whole days, i can't even describe it. it was soooooooo incredibly slow today i almost fell asleep sitting up a few times. there were seriously five of us sitting around in the kitchen break area in the back of radiology doing absolutely nothing for what seemed like ( Read more... )

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