AGHHHHHHHHH!!!!
i hate worrying to the point of nausea. it's a horrible thing, and i've only done it a few times in my life but when i do, it sucks. i can't think about anything but what is making me worry. in this case it's my final eval at clinic. my biggest fear is of their big thing on making sure you have someone watching you while you do a repeat. i just thought about it for the first time since Ray mentioned it to me a couple weeks ago and he said that i need to keep an eye on it because he's gotten some complaints on it. well now i'm super worried that i've done it again and i didn't think about it and someone's going to mention it to Ray and i'm going to get in trouble again. the biggest thing though is that doing repeats without someone watching means you could get kicked out of the program. so now i'm absolutely terrified that i did that again and someone said something and i'm going to get caught and kicked out. and i CAN'T afford to have that happen. i'm so close to my dreams and i can't, can't, can't spend another two years up here doing a different program. i just can't do it. i might as well just get a job doing something else. so now i'm worried, and ill, and i'm probably not going to sleep for the next few days until i get my eval. so i'm praying as hard as i can to not get in trouble, to not have done that one stupid thing that could get me caught, and if i did please don't have anyone say anything!!! dear god, i'm not a religious girl, but if there is one thing i really need in my life it is NOT to get in trouble over this. so please, please, please just let me pass this without any hassle. i'm about ready to cry but i don't even know if it's something i need to cry over. i hope Ray does his eval wednesday, and since he's coming in at 2:30pm all this week maybe no one will say anything to him, and maybe all last week i didn't pull a stupid and had all my images checked before redoing them. please please please say i'm not that stupid. PLEASE???
*A*
*A*