This month is miscarriage and baby loss awareness month. Ive tried not to think about it. Decided to check in on him, because we're still friends, despite me leaving. Says he's doing well, but, oh by the way, he's gotten some girl pregnant. AND he's requested she get an abortion, because "you're the only one i would want a family with ( Read more... )

He reminded me i would have been about 8 months along by now. We would have been preparing for her arrival (in my mind she was a she but we didn't get far enough in to know). I heard the sadness in voice, which brought tears to my eyes, so i cut the conversation short. Just like her little life was...

Permanently disabled. Definitely didn't expect to hear that, but that is the official final decision legally and medically. I am permanently disabled. I haven't cried about it yet but I want to. I think I was holding out hope that I was just "slow to heal," but instead I will never "heal." I've been told I'll just have to learn to live with it. I ( Read more... )

I love love way too much for it to hate me as much as it does. My heart really can't take any more...

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

12 weeks ago today I was in a car accident. It's been a LONG 12 weeks.  Looking at the photos from the accident, and thinking back on it, it was definitely not an "OMG I hope those people are ok!" kind of accident, reality is it probably was only a step or two above being a fender bender, yet it was the worst accident I've been in in terms of ( Read more... )

My body is desperately trying to tell me something. I'm trying to listen. Changes ASAP!

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I saw something that really ticked me off the other day and really made me want to be petty, messy, and downright MEAN. I've decided against it but the urge is still there. At the end of the day some people will never understand how they come across nor seemingly accept their role in how things play out in their lives. Ultimately I'm only ( Read more... )

The problem with being strong is people forget you can be weak.

The problem with being strong it's hard to show your weak side.

The problem with being strong is even when you're falling apart you become a master at pretending everything is fine which leads back to nuber one... people forget you also can be weak.

I realize, in the last few years especially, but pretty much always, I LIVE for the opportunities to take trips to the beach. I don't go nearly enough but I just got back from 5 days/4 nights of a little beach hopping in the Florida panhandle. All I can think about is going back!

We got in a car accident while down there

Posted via m. ( Read more... )

I think my "Canometer" is broken because I just "can't" anymore with too many people and too many things. People and things that once meant so much to me...I just dont have the time, effort, energy, or want to to deal with them/it anymore. What makes me sad is that many are people/things I thought I couldn't live without, and yet....here I am still ( Read more... )