I feel like crawling into bed and staring at the wall for hours just balling my eyes out. I don't know why, but for some reason my good mood suddenly liquidated. I find myself desperately wishing that he was here tonight. I want this little world that I've created up here to include him. But it never will. It blows my mind. No matter how many ( Read more... )

This started forming in my head last night around 1 and I had to get it out ( Read more... )

I've found my way back to this place again, and this time around, things will be different. I don't feel fettered by social constraints anymore. From this entry forward, I will be nothing but honest. I will hold nothing back. This is for me now, and for my sanity ( Read more... )

Ok...this is an entry of frustration. 4 more days until I rid myself of these people forever. 4 long, cruel, unbearable days that will feel like 4 years. I just want to graduate and get it over with. I have to write a speech for these ungrateful assholes and I cannot think of one nice thing to say. If I had it my way, I'd say something along these ( Read more... )

Oh my...I haven't written in here in forever...and I DON'T think anyone still checks it anyway. I really should write in here more often...it's such an excellent release. Graduation is in 5 days, and every particle of my being is aching to get it over with. I hate those dreadfully solemn ceremonies. I have a feeling I'll cry, and I don't want to do ( Read more... )

Holy shit. I haven't posted in here in forever. That's crazy. I guess I should probably start up again, huh? Not much has really been happening, though. I've been going through the whole college application process. I've thrown in the towel...I'm going to Orono. I don't really want to, but tuition will be free and through other scholarships, I'll ( Read more... )

What the hell am I doing? I can't even touch upon anything tangible right now. I feel stuck between who I was and who I'm going to be. There's so much to do in the next few months...and I'm totally numbed.Everyone keeps telling me that I've taken on way too much this year and I'm beginning to agree with them. After what happened to me this week, I ( Read more... )

Why haven't I been posting lately?Because I got a written logbook that I write EVERYTHING in...so I don't usually have the energy to post in here after writing so much. I don't know...not much has happened...my thoughts about the guy I was interested in were confirmed...I'd never have a chance with him...he's too......good?I don't know. We got our ( Read more... )

I haven't posted in a while and I recently got a request for an entry. So I figured I'd update for the hell of it. Things lately have been completely off-tilt. Things began.Things ended. I don't know whether I'm coming or going. I have a thing for a guy who lives an hour away and who is "Involved"...and so why do I bother?Why do I even think he'd ( Read more... )

My mood is more morose right now than anything, so I don't know why I put that I'm awake.I need to run into the middle of the field and scream at the top of my lungs. My frustration with my life as it is right now is bearing so heavily upon me that I find it difficult to breathe at times. My vision is streamlined toward my goal, and any digressions ( Read more... )