These words press against my tongue, my teeth, my lips ( Read more... )

Tonight is one of those nights that I want to disappear. I was downstairs with all of my friends, drinking and having a good time, and suddenly I felt completely alone. I feel like that sometimes when I'm in large groups. I feel isolated and disconnected from everything that's going on, and more importantly, disconnected from everyone. Even Zac ( Read more... )

Well this has been a totally unproductive day so far. I should be studying. I should be doing some homework. I should be cleaning. All I want to do, however, is sit on my ass, listen to music, and feel wretched. Ian is right. I need to go to a doctor...and soon. This stomach bullshit is getting old ( Read more... )

Yeah so I'm posting again. I'm extremely restless right now, but my brain doesn't feel capable of processing anything, so I can't study. I want to do something,be creative, but I'm not sure what I can do.

I feel extremely scattered right now and I think this is a good medium to use to try to piece everything together. I don't think anyone reads it anymore anyway ( Read more... )

For some reason, this unbelievable, overwhelming feeling of hopelessness overcame me tonight. I was walking back from the 1944 building and I just broke down half-way home. I couldn't control it. I had to stop and collect myself before I went into the building. The last thing I need is for everyone here to see me in hysterics. I can't understand ( Read more... )

I don't know where my head is. So much is going on right now and I feel like I should have all my shit together, but I just don't. Nothing feels right. I don't like that I can't concentrate on school at all. I need to focus and I just...can't. I need to get all this nervous energy and aggression out. I don't know any other way to describe the way I ( Read more... )

I'm struggling. I'm not in the right frame of mind right now and I can feel myself slipping down deeper into this. I feel completely jaded, strung out by everything that's going on. And for some reason, the one person I need the most is never around. I feel completely misdirected and misled. I want clarity. I want support. I want to feel like I'm ( Read more... )

This has been a strange week. I went home over the weekend for a doctor's appointment and stayed until Sunday because Alteria had their CD release party on Saturday night. I usually only stay at home for one night and then I rush back here early the next morning because I can't take it anymore. I can't stay there for longer than one night. For some ( Read more... )

I'm in a particularly strange mood right now. I think I'm starting to run a fever. I wish I had a thermometer. Today was one of those incredibly lazy days. I sat in my pajamas for hours watching crappy Lifetime channel movies and randomly breaking into tears. I think it was good for me. I'm kind of at a standstill right now. I can't decide whether ( Read more... )