Met the vicar today. Tried very hard not to swear in front of him. Failed, but tried very hard. My dad also failed so I felt less bad about it. He was asking what mum was like, as a wife and as a mother, and I was trying like hell to avoid the question until Andy summed up his experience with her as a mother as thoroughly wonderful, since ( Read more... )

Got some more divorce stuff through the post yesterday. Took it back into the court today ( Read more... )

I had my own image of heaven when I was young. Heaven was whatever you wanted it to be. You could be surrounded by people who loved you most, doing whatever you wanted to do, and you could wait there for as long as it took for others to join you. You could be any age and as healthy as a horse. I think mum's there now, with granny, painting and ( Read more... )

Mum stopped breathing yesterday afternoon.

Don't want to talk about it.

Got a truly terrifying call at work today from dad. The home had rang him saying they couldn't rouse mum. That was all he told me. He had to call all her siblings and such so he wanted to get all the calls done NOW and get down to her ( Read more... )

Saw mum today, twice. She wasn't as bad as she was on Saturday. Very tired much of the time, or else just retreating from the world because it's too hard/frustrating to interact with it. The home are looking after her. I feel like I'm mother though, cleaning up after she's had a drink the way that she did after me when I was a baby ( Read more... )

Had a bad dream last night wherein I managed to have an argument with my mum and Martha Kent. (Annette O'Toole's Martha Kent - from Smallville. Anyone who hasn't watched Smallville, hang your heads in shame ( Read more... )

Spoke to a speech therapist at work today about a swallowing test for mum ( Read more... )

I haven't had the balls to go see mum at the weekend ( Read more... )

Need to think of good questions to ask at my interview on Tuesday ( Read more... )