What You Wish For (Chapter 9)
Title: What You Wish For
Author: alliterationhor
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Spoilers: Yama Yama Yama. a bit of Kurogane's backstory.
Rating: R-ish?
Status: 9/12 chapters.
Author's note: fluff. fluffity fluff-tastic fluff.
Another note: this chapter is hella long.
Also note: for easy reference, the tattoo.
Fanfic archive here.
Comments/concrit appreciated.
Previous chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12
What You Wish For
Once had this dream
Crashed down in Oz
Not black and white but where the colors are
I never dreamed that I would let it go
-Guster, What You Wish For
Chapter Nine
Fai had had a family once, and he had lost them.
Fai had found a family, mommy and daddy and children. And half of that family was dimensions away, and daddy did not remember him.
Fai had found a sister in Tomoyo, a friend in Souma, and a home with Kurogane.
Fai had no intention of running away anymore.
* * *
Fai woke up in Kurogane’s bed, and grinned. He stretched, muscles satisfied and languid, and draped himself half on top of the other man.
Kurogane grunted a little, but made no movement or objection.
“Kuro ...” Fai murmured, stretching out the vowels. He laughed a little when there was no response, and tapped a fingertip against Kurogane’s lips. “Kuro.”
Still no reaction.
“Kuro ...”
Fai pulled himself up and sat on top of the ninja, legs on either side of Kurogane’s hips. “Kuro-chan!” he called, resting his weight against a very intimate part of the other man’s body.
“Shut up already.” Kurogane grumbled. But his hands came to rest lightly on Fai’s waist.
“Kuro-mu.” Fai leaned down so that their faces were almost touching, and whispered, “I want breakfast in bed.”
“Okay.” Kurogane agreed, without opening his eyes. “Bring me back something-not sweet.”
Fai pouted. “I want you to bring me breakfast in bed.”
“No.”
Fai grinned; he did love a challenge.
“Please ...? Please please please? Kuro-fe? Kuro-fi? Kuro-fo? Kuro-fum? Pleeeeeeeeeease?”
“Alright, alright!” Kurogane grumbled as he shoved the wizard off him and reached for his robe.
“Yay!” Fai clapped happily. “I want a chocolate donut. Make that four. And coffee!”
“Black with lots of sugar. I know.” Kurogane leaned down and gave Fai a fierce kiss that ended too quickly. “You better be here when I get back.”
“Or you could stay.” Fai suggested, trying to pull Kurogane back down onto the bed.
“No.” Kurogane gave Fai’s hand a squeeze before he released it. “You nagged me into breakfast, you’re getting breakfast.”
“I’ll be here. Hurry back!”
When he was gone, Fai burrowed down into the blankets, wrapping himself in residual body heat. He pushed his face into Kurogane’s pillow and inhaled deeply, submerging himself in the other man’s smell.
They had never stayed anywhere long enough for their beds to absorb their smell-except Yama. But in Yama, the beds were too narrow for two people to share.
Fai thought this bed was a perfect size for them to share. Fai hoped they would share this bed for a very long time.
* * *
Swordplay lessons (taught by Kurogane, with assistance from Fai) somehow spilled over into yoga lessons (taught by Fai and loathed by Kurogane).
“I know you’re just making this crap up.” Kurogane muttered, trying not to fall down.
“Shut up.” Fai responded cheerfully. “You have to focus, and relax. Breathe. And bend your leg a little more.”
“I’m supposed to do all that at once?”
Fai grinned. “Shutting up is the most important one!”
* * *
Fai was propped up on one elbow beside Kurogane on the bed. One light fingertip traced over the scars that marked the ninja’s body, old scars and new.
Kurogane’s body was like a book, Fai decided. His body was a book and his skin was the pages and each scar, small or large, new or old, told a story. One day, Fai vowed, he would know every scar and every story of every scar by heart.
“Stop thinking.” Kurogane murmured, his fist tugging gently on blond hair.
“Hm?”
“Stop thinking.” he repeated, without opening his eyes. “This is good. We’re good.”
Fai smiled, happy and content. “We are good.”
“So shut up.”
Fai chuckled. “You do not want to know what I was thinking about?” he questioned, touching a fingertip to the ninja’s lips.
Kurogane pretended to snap his teeth at the fingertip, but kissed it instead. “You’ll tell me if you want me to know.”
“I was thinking that one day I will know you by heart.”
Kurogane opened his eyes, red meeting blue. “You will, hm?”
“Yes.” Fai tapped a fingertip against a scar on a tan shoulder. “You tell me the story, and I will kiss your scar.”
“I have a lot of scars.” Kurogane remarked. “That could take awhile.”
“Oh.” Fai nodded, making a sad face. “Okay. I understand. You are bored with me already.” He started to get up from the bed. “I will go back to my room.”
“No.” Kurogane grabbed Fai’s arm and wrestled him back onto the bed, pinning the slender man under his weight easily. “You’re not going anywhere.”
Kurogane kissed Fai, using his lips and tongue to communicate better than words ever could that he wanted Fai to stay right where he was.
Fai grinned against Kurogane’s lips. “Well, since you asked so nicely.”
“Every scar?” he asked, shifting his weight onto his side so that he was laying beside the mage.
“Yes. Every scar.” Fai touched the scar on his shoulder again, “Starting with this scar. How did you get it?”
Kurogane leaned back, head propped on his hand. “I fell out of a tree.”
Fai repeated slowly, with disbelief, “You fell ... out of a tree?”
“Yes.”
“You fell out of a tree.” he said again, as if he did not quite get it. “It is just so normal.”
Kurogane gave him a look, arching an eyebrow. “You were expecting something more impressive?”
“It is ... very un-ninja of you.” Fai pointed out.
“I was six years old.” Kurogane returned. “I wasn’t a ninja yet, dumbass.”
Fai laughed. “You mean you did not come from the womb with that glare and fearsome ninja skills?”
“Were you born as annoying as you are right now?” Kurogane asked, moving his knee a little so that it bumped against Fai’s.
“This is an acquired skill.” Fai stated with pride. “Years and years of refinement.”
“And fearsome ninja skills take years and years of practice.”
Fai laid down on his back, so that he was close to Kurogane and looking up at him. “Who taught you?”
“My father.” Kurogane answered quietly.
“What was he like?” Fai asked, tracing a fingertip over Kurogane’s ear and down his neck. He let his hand come to rest against a hard, muscled shoulder.
“He was a great man.”
Fai smiled, thinking that should be obvious since he was responsible for such a great son. “You take after him, then.”
Kurogane’s eyes were distant, his voice far away. “I want him to be proud of me.”
“I do not know how he could not be.”
Kurogane was quiet, contemplative. Fai stayed silent; he knew Kurogane was thinking.
“My father taught me to be strong, to protect the ones I love. I lost sight of that lesson, for a long time. I wanted to be stronger so that I would not be hurt. I sought strength, only to be the strongest.” Kurogane sighed and sat up, his legs over the edge of the bed. “I forgot the lessons he taught me.”
Fai followed, sitting next to him so that their arms touched. “But you have remembered.”
“Yes. To be strong without purpose is meaningless. To be truly strong is to be unselfish; to protect those who cannot protect themselves, to protect who you love and what you love.” He paused, and smiled a little. “That is why Tomoyo sent me on my journey. And I am glad she did.” His voice was low, “I would have been someone my father would not have been proud of, if she had not.”
Fai nodded against his shoulder, understanding the ninja much better now. After a moment, he turned his head and touched his lips to the small scar; one down. Then he drew a light fingertip across a faded scar on Kurogane’s left palm.
“And this one?” he asked quietly.
Kurogane looked down at his palm, and smiled ruefully. “Tomoyo gave me that one.”
“Tomoyo-chan?” Fai asked, surprised.
“You really want to hear the story?”
Kurogane was looking at him with a solemn expression. Fai nodded, just as solemnly.
“Yes. I really want to know.”
* * *
Souma put her pickles onto Kurogane’s plate and exchanged them for his tomatoes.
Kurogane glared.
“You don’t like tomatoes,” she pointed out, reasonably.
“But they’re my tomatoes.”
Souma rolled her eyes. “May I please have your tomatoes, Kurogane-san?”
“Yes, you may.”
Fai grinned at Kurogane and placed his tomatoes on Souma’s plate.
Tomoyo smiled at them. She had noticed, lately, the soft and somewhat secretive smiles between Kurogane and Fai. She had noticed that the two men sat closer to each other, and that their body language spoke of comfort and intimacy.
Tomoyo knew something had changed between them, something for the better.
She was too happy for them both, and she would not pry. They would tell her, when they were ready. For now, it was enough that she knew they were both happy.
* * *
“I have something for you.” Kurogane said, as they walked down the hall to their rooms.
Fai grinned, excited. “A present?”
“Yes.”
“Is it big?”
“Yes.”
“Is it long?”
“Yes.”
“Sounds like a present I will definitely enjoy.” Fai commented, closing the door to Kurogane’s room behind them.
Kurogane reached into his wardrobe, then handed the mage a long wooden box. “Here you go.”
“Oh.” Fai blinked in surprise, then laughed. “Not a metaphor, then.”
“No.” Kurogane answered, almost smiling. “Not a metaphor.”
Fai sat down on the edge of the bed with the box in his lap. Kurogane sat next to him, leaning back with his arms braced on the mattress.
Fai slid the cover off the box. “It is ... a sword.”
It was not an ornate sword, and it was not as long as Kurogane’s sword. It looked strong, light, and serviceable. The only decoration on it was a light blue cabochon that was set between the hilt and the blade, gleaming like water in sunlight.
“I had it made for you.” Kurogane told him. “It’s past time you had a sword of your own.”
Fai tapped the metal blade and looked up at Kurogane with a smile. “This is your idea of romantic, hm.”
Kurogane rolled his eyes. “Swords are not romantic.”
“That would be my point.” Fai grinned. “What am I going to do with you?”
“You could say thank you.”
“Thank you. It is a very nice sword.” Fai leaned over and gave Kurogane a kiss. “Even if it is not the least bit romantic.”
“It is a weapon,” Kurogane admitted. “But it is also a way of saying you are worthy of a great weapon. And a way of saying that I want you to use it to stay alive.” A hint of a smile touched his lips. “Is that not romantic?”
“Oh.”
Fai looked down at the sword again, seeing it differently now. Sometimes it was too easy to forget that Kurogane looked at the world through very different eyes than his own. Fai looked at a sword and saw a weapon capable of killing; Kurogane looked at a sword and saw pride, a compliment.
“Thank you.” he said, meaning it completely this time.
“Of course,” Kurogane whispered into his ear, “it could be just a sword.”
Fai laughed and pushed Kurogane down on the bed. “Shut up.”
* * *
It was early one morning in the palace, before anyone else was about. Kurogane’s arms slid around Fai from behind, where the magician was standing at the stove.
“Mm.” Fai reached up a hand to ruffle the ninja’s hair. “Hello.”
Kurogane dropped a kiss on Fai’s shoulder. “Good morning.”
Fai sighed. “There was a plan.”
“What plan?”
“A plan to bring you breakfast in bed, silly Kuro-bun. And now you have ruined the plan.”
Kurogane looked down at the pan and raised an eyebrow. “What is that?”
“Watermelon pancakes.”
Kurogane shook his head; he should know better than to ask.
“I think you will like them.” Fai said, as if he had heard the thought.
“I woke up and you weren’t there.” Kurogane murmured against the soft hair at back of Fai’s neck. One hand slipped into the mage’s robe and found smooth skin.
“That was part of the plan. To be back before you woke up.” Fai said, successfully ignoring the hand. “See what you have done?”
“Deepest apologies.” he offered, and pinched.
Fai nodded graciously and slapped at the hand. “Accepted. Now go back to bed and pretend to be surprised when I bring you breakfast.”
“New plan.”
Kurogane picked Fai up by the waist and set him on the island across from the stove. He pulled the wizard against him, his hands at Fai’s waist and Fai’s legs wrapped around him. Kurogane kissed him hungrily, with sharp teeth and demanding tongue.
“Mmm ... Wait, wait!” Fai stretched one long leg out and turned off the stove with his toes. “Okay. You may resume the ravishment.”
* * *
“You could ask Tomoyo to put that marking on you again. She could, couldn’t she?” Kurogane asked one afternoon, without glancing up from the schedule he was planning for the Guard.
Fai looked up from where he was laying on the bed and reading a book. “What?”
“It’s just a thought. You’re stronger with it, right?”
“Yes.” Fai said, after a moment’s hesitation.
Kurogane set his pen down and looked at Fai. “You could do magic again, if you wanted to.”
“I do not miss it, much.” Fai said quietly. Then, “Sometimes.”
“I wondered.”
“Hm?”
Kurogane thought for a moment, then explained, “If it’s like-a part of you. Like Souhi is to me. I am sure I could live without a sword, but I wouldn’t want to.”
Fai stood up, wrapped his arms around Kurogane’s neck, and gave the ninja a kiss on the cheek. “I will think about it.”
* * *
“Souma.” Tomoyo whispered.
Souma stirred, not opening her eyes. “... yes, love.”
“Would you be a dear?”
“Hm?”
“And go get me some banana soup?”
“It’s ... the middle of the night ...”
Tomoyo pouted. “But I am hungry ...”
“Can’t you get one of the other ninjas on duty to get it for you?” She whined, “I’m sleeping ...”
“But you are my favourite ninja ...” Tomoyo complimented, scratching a teasing fingertip against Souma’s ear.
Souma grumbled, “Kurogane is your favourite ninja. Make him get it.”
“Kurogane is my favourite boy ninja. You are my favourite-”
“-girl ninja.”
Tomoyo grinned, poking Souma’s shoulder. “And you are right here.”
“Yes. Here. Stay. Good. Sleep.”
“Banana soup. Please?”
Souma never could say no to her princess.
* * *
Souma heard strange, low noises coming from the kitchen. She advanced cautiously, but as she got closer she realized the sounds were not of struggle-not the kind of struggle that someone would require rescuing from, anyway.
She knocked on the doorjamb to get their attention, “Ahem.”
Kurogane and Fai turned their heads in comical slow motion.
“Really.” Souma commented, looking pointedly at the ceiling. “I wouldn’t have expected the wizard to have better sense. But you, Kurogane.” she admonished, “I thought you were better behaved than this.”
“Souma ...”
“Don’t mind me.” She raised a hand to block them from her view as she crossed the kitchen. “Tomoyo has a craving for some of Fai-san’s banana soup, so I’m just going to get some out of the chill box-without looking at you two.”
Fai and Kurogane were very quiet until Souma left the kitchen.
And then Fai burst into quiet giggles, burying his face into the ninja’s shoulder.
“... I told you this was a bad idea.” Kurogane grumbled, a bit embarrassed.
“Hey.” Fai mumbled, not embarrassed at all, and licked a smear of honey from the ninja’s neck. “Naked man in your lap. Pay attention.”
* * *
“You will never believe who I just found in the kitchen.” Souma said as she sat down on the bed with the bowl of banana soup. She reconsidered, “Actually, you will believe, and you’ll be delighted.”
Tomoyo sat up quickly, grinning, her violet eyes bright. “Who?”
“... not decently clothed ...”
“Who.”
“Guess.” Souma teased.
“Kurogane. And Fai.”
“Yes.”
“Oh!” Tomoyo cried happily. Then, as the ‘not decently clothed’ part registered, “Oh.”
“I didn’t see anything, thankfully,” Souma assured her princess. She pulled her legs up onto the bed to sit cross-legged. “But they were definitely naked.”
Tomoyo smiled blissfully. “I am so happy for them.”
“You are, aren’t you.” Souma commented, amused.
“Yes!” Tomoyo exclaimed. Then she looked at Souma and began to smile in a different way. She announced, “And I think it is about time that you were definitely naked.”
“You do? What about the banana soup?”
Tomoyo dipped a finger into the soup and smeared it along the curve of Souma’s collarbone; Souma smiled.
“Oh, I am still hungry.”
* * *
One day there was a loud “BOOM!” from the back of the palace, where Fai had been given a few rooms to work in after the kitchen staff had demanded he needed a place other than their chill box to store his salamander eyes and toad tongues.
Kurogane and Souma and several other ninjas ran to the room, where they found thick pungent smoke billowing out of the doorway.
Through the smoke, Jalen had the grace to look embarrassed.
Fai did not.
“Turns out thyme and arnet root are not interchangeable.” he muttered, thoughtfully. “Must make a note of that.”
* * *
Tomoyo led Fai into her sewing room and gestured to two kimonos hanging on the wall.
One was a cobalt blue colour with a delicate stitching of ice blue thread around the hem and sleeves, in a pattern of vines and leaves that crept upward along the fabric. It had a black sash.
The other kimono was black, with the same pattern of stitching but the thread was the cobalt blue colour. It had a sash of the dark blue.
“Do you like them?”
“These are beautiful, Tomoyo-chan.” Fai said, lifting the sleeve of the dark blue kimono to study the stitching detail. “They must have taken you a long time.”
“I did not mind. They are a present.” She grinned, unable to contain her happiness. “For your wedding.”
“My wedding?” Fai laughed. “Who am I marrying?”
“Hm. I think this will look very nice on Kurogane.” she said, touching the sleeve of the black kimono. “Do you think so?”
Fai took a moment to wonder if Kurogane did not propose to him, whether Tomoyo would propose to him for Kurogane.
* * *
Fai sat up suddenly, from where he was leaning against Esmeralda’s trunk and Kurogane’s shoulder. He looked over at Kurogane with mischievous eyes.
“... Souma?”
Kurogane half-opened his eyes. “What about her?”
“You and Souma?”
“What are you talking about?” he asked, still at a loss.
“You and Souma?” Fai said pointedly, grinning with a bit of a leer.
Kurogane frowned in confusion. “How do you know that?”
“Esmeralda told me.”
“How-” He paused, thought for a second, and would have blushed if he did that sort of thing. “Oh.”
“She says that was a very rude thing to do in front of her.” Fai grinned again. “By the way, I think Esmeralda has a crush on you.”
Kurogane grumbled and crossed his arms, unamused. “Damn talking trees.”
“Gareth too?!”
“Shut up, Esmeralda!”
Fai started to giggle. Kurogane was really so adorable when he was embarrassed.
“You shut up too.” he muttered, pushing a hard hand against the mage’s shoulder.
“Do not worry, Esmeralda.” Fai said reassuringly, patting her trunk. “That is how Kurogane displays affection.”
“That is Kurogane displays annoyance.” he corrected.
“In fact, I now consider ‘idiot’ to be a term of endearment.” Fai informed the ninja proudly.
Red eyes glared at him. “You are an idiot.”
“Kuro-pin is so sweet!” Fai exclaimed, pinching Kurogane’s cheek.
Kurogane shoved the hand away and grabbed a fistful of Fai’s tunic. “Come here.”
“No!” Fai cried, pretending to struggle. “Nooo, not in front of Esmeralda! I want to stay on her good side!”
Kurogane pushed him down easily, large hands holding down thin wrists and legs locked to hold Fai’s down. Kurogane watched with a small smile as the blond still pretended to struggle, arching his hips up against the ninja’s in a way that was definitely not meant for escape.
Fai’s cheeks were flushed pink by the time he gave up his efforts. He pouted. “Do you bring all your ...” He hesitated-lovers? Significant others? “Do you bring everyone you kiss here, then?”
Kurogane stared down into blue eyes. He knew that the question was meant as teasing, but he also knew that there was an element of truth behind it.
The truth was that Kurogane had honestly never felt like this about anyone before.
“You’re here now.” he whispered, his lips very close to the other man’s. “That’s all that matters.”
In the sunlight, the two of them kissed, bodies melting against each other into an intimate embrace.
* * *
Kurogane answered the knock to find Fai on the other side of the door. There was a wide grin brightening the mage’s face and his arms were behind his back.
“Hello!” Fai chirped, and stretched up on his toes to smack a kiss on the ninja’s cheek. Then he held out a brightly wrapped box. “This is for you!”
Kurogane took the present from Fai. “What is it?”
“Open it!” Fai exclaimed, bouncing excitedly. “Open it open it open it!”
“Alright, I’m opening.” Kurogane said, sitting down on his bed.
Inside the shiny green wrapping was a heavy tome bound in dark blue leather. The silver lettering across the front read:
Across the Universe
A Collection of Recipes
by Fai D. Flowright
“It’s a book.” Kurogane turned it over and ran a finger along the spine. “A book you wrote?”
“Well, ‘collected’ is the more accurate term.” Fai said, tapping the word ‘Collection’ on the cover. “They are recipes I learned in my travels. So if someone wants to know how to make banana soup, they only have to look it up.”
Kurogane looked up and smiled. “This is really good.”
“I know you’ll never use it, of course.” Fai took a seat beside him and dropped his chin onto the ninja’s shoulder. “But I dedicated it to you, so I wanted you to have the first copy.”
Kurogane flipped to the dedication and read. He huffed a breath, somewhere between annoyance and amusement. “I do not snore.”
Fai grinned against his ear. “Do too ...”
Kurogane’s arm settled around Fai’s waist and squeezed him closer, gently. “Thank you.”
“It was thanks to you that it even exists.” Fai said, shrugging a little dismissively.
“But you wrote it.”
“Collected.”
“Whatever.” Kurogane closed the book and weighed it in his hand-it was heavy. “This was a lot of hard work, wasn’t it?”
“There was much experimenting involved, yes.”
“And now you have a book.” Kurogane smiled. “I’m proud of you.”
“Oh, Kuro-tan is such a charmer.” Fai drawled, trying to pretend the blush on his cheeks was for effect.
Kurogane pushed the other man down onto the bed gently, hovering over him. “You should be proud of you too.” he said seriously.
Fai smiled a little, trying to get used to the feeling of being proud of something he had done. “I wrote a book.”
“Collected.” Kurogane murmured, his lips against Fai’s neck.
“Okay. Moment ruined.” Fai pushed at the ninja’s shoulders. “Let me up!”
“No.”
Fai turned his face away with a pout. “I do not want to kiss you anymore.”
Kurogane paused his attentions to Fai’s neck only long enough to mutter, “Liar.”
“Mm.” Fai shifted subtly underneath his weight, so that he could arch his hips up against the ninja’s. “Maybe I will let you kiss me.”
Kurogane exhaled a breath against Fai’s neck, almost a laugh. “Generous.”
“I think so. So shut up and kiss me already.”
“You shut up.”
“Make mff-mmm ...”
* * *
Fai was cuddled up behind Kurogane and kissing his neck with leisurely dedication. One of his arms was underneath one of Kurogane’s and around the ninja’s waist; one of his legs was comfortably trapped between the other man’s legs.
Kurogane was close to sleep, content, and completely satisfied. This was where he was meant to be, he knew, with Fai. He was, to put it quite simply, happy.
“So is that how I am rewarded for writing a book?” Fai asked, licking the sensitive spot behind Kurogane’s ear.
“Collecting.”
Fai bit his ear gently. “Whatever.”
“Maybe.” he murmured, shivering when Fai began to suck on his neck. “How many books do you plan to write?”
Fai detached his mouth long enough to answer, “At least one more. A book of healing potions and poultices.”
Kurogane turned over so that he was laying on his other side, facing Fai on the bed. “Yeah?”
“Mm.” Fai nodded, watching his fingertip wander a slow path over Kurogane’s broad chest. “It is taking a bit longer than the recipes because the magical ingredients are much more complicated and temperamental.”
“Magical?” Kurogane questioned, fingertips tucking blond hair behind Fai’s ear.
“Like Kenet. The knowledge comes from magic and the ingredients are magical, but anyone can make them.” He added, “If they have a bit of patience, of course.”
Kurogane was smiling at him as if he was about to say that ‘proud’ word again.
Fai pointed a finger at him. “Do not say it. I have not finished it yet. You will jinx it if you say it before I have finished it.”
“But you will finish it.”
“If all goes as planned, yes.”
* * *
Fai had asked Tomoyo to send the second copy of his book to Syaoran and Sakura in Clow. The second copy was dedicated to Syaoran (who had partially given him the idea to write a book) and Sakura as well as Kurogane.
Two days later, Tomoyo handed him a gift box with a large sparkly bow. Inside there was a framed picture of Syaoran and Sakura on their wedding day. The two of them looked blissfully happy, and Fai was so happy for them it almost hurt.
The card read, “We hope you two are as happy as we are.”
Fai smiled and stared at it for a long, long moment. Then he sighed, and touched his fingertip to the ‘two’. When he lifted his finger, the word was gone.
After he had wrapped it again, Fai asked Tomoyo to give the gift to Kurogane.
* * *
Kurogane placed the framed picture of Syaoran and Sakura on his dresser, and stepped back to look at it. He was grateful to have it, grateful to be able to see their faces and their smiles again. He was grateful that they looked so happy, no one in the worlds deserved it more than those two did.
Fai came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Kurogane’s waist, peering around the ninja’s broad shoulder to look at the picture. “Your friends?”
Kurogane lifted his arms a little to make room for Fai’s under his, and one of his hands rested along Fai’s elbow. “Yes.”
“You miss them?” he asked softly, even though he already knew the answer.
Kurogane answered quietly, “Yes.”
Fai thought, I miss them too. But he only smiled.
“But they’re happy.” Kurogane continued, after a moment. “And I’m happy.”
“You are?” Fai questioned, smiling even more.
“Yes. And you?”
“Yes. I am happy.”
* * *
“Where’s everyone else?” Kurogane asked as he sat down.
“They had things to do.” Tomoyo answered, before taking a sip of her tea.
Kurogane nodded, silent.
“Are you disappointed?”
“No.”
Tomoyo just smiled at him.
Kurogane sighed. He knew that smile, and he knew that smile meant that Tomoyo could see right through him. “Stop smiling at me.”
“I like smiling at you.” she returned easily.
“I’m not disappointed.” Kurogane grumbled. “It’ll be nice to have a quiet dinner with you without the two of them chattering on and on.”
“Yes.” But Tomoyo knew he did not mind as much as he pretended to. “It will be nice to have dinner with my favourite ninja.”
Kurogane muttered somewhat sulkily, “Souma is your favourite ninja.”
“Souma is my favourite girl ninja. You are my favourite-”
“-boy ninja.” Kurogane finished, the phrase a familiar one.
Tomoyo laughed. “You are happier, are you not?”
Kurogane did not have to pause before answering, “Yes. I am.”
Her smile grew softer, more affectionate. “I am glad.”
Kurogane looked down for a long moment. But he met his princess’ eyes steadily as he said, “Thank you, Tomoyo.”
“For what?”
Kurogane meant many things: for knowing he needed to learn a lesson when he did not know he needed to learn it; for sending him on the journey that had taught him so much about strength, both physical strength and strength of heart; for the friendships he had forged there that he would keep with him always, even if he never saw those friends again; for being his friend; and for being Tomoyo.
He said simply, “Don’t make me say it.”
Tomoyo smiled warmly, as if she had heard everything he had not said. “You are welcome, Kurogane.”
* * *
The first snowfall of the season happened one morning when the four companions were eating breakfast together.
Tomoyo was thrilled; she grabbed Souma’s hand and dragged her outside. Kurogane and Fai followed more slowly.
Kurogane and Souma watched as Tomoyo held up her arms to the snow and spun in a circle, face upturned as cold flakes melted against her skin, laughing delightedly.
Fai held out his hand to the snow, watching as it melted slowly in his palm.
The snowfall felt like an ending.
“Hey.”
Fai looked over at Kurogane, blue eyes cloudy. “Hm?”
“It’s just snow.” he stated, bumping his shoulder to Fai’s shoulder lightly.
“Yes.” Fai murmured, dropping his hand. “It is just snow.”
But still the snow left Fai with a troubled feeling.
* * *
After the four of them had finished breakfast, Fai waited until he was alone with Tomoyo.
“Tomoyo-chan ... May I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
Fai opened his mouth to speak, but he did not know what to say.
After a moment, Tomoyo inquired, “Is this about your marking?”
Fai entertained a fleeting thought that he should wonder how she knew that. But he was rather grateful that she did, and that he would not have to explain. “Yes.”
Tomoyo smiled. “I was wondering when you would ask. Come with me.”
She stood and led him down the hall to her sitting room. She retrieved a long, unfinished wooden box from one of her cabinets. Inside, wrapped in a sheath of white silk, was his marking.
“Tomoyo-chan ...” Fai’s voice was low and unsteady. “You should not have ...”
“I could have put a new one on you, but this one already knows you. It will serve you better.”
Fai ran his hand over the air above the tattoo, reverently, feeling the familiar aura of magic that radiated from it. “May I ask ... What did you have to exchange?”
Tomoyo answered immediately, “Nothing for you to worry about.”
“But ...”
“I gave Yuuko a few magical trinkets and promised to make her some outfits.”
Fai looked up. “That was all?”
“No.” she said, in a firm voice that would encourage no further questions. “But as I said, it is nothing for you to worry about.”
Fai felt undeserving of such generosity. He took a deep breath before he spoke, “I owe you so much, Tomoyo-chan.”
Tomoyo gave him a warm smile. “You do not owe me anything. This is what friends do.”
* * *
Pale skin gleamed bright in moonlight, like silver. Thick lines of black curved across the silvery skin.
The tattoo was the deep black of the midnight sky, seeming to absorb the moonlight rather than reflect it.
The skin still tasted the same. Under Kurogane’s tongue the skin was still smooth over supple muscles; pale or black, it still tasted like Fai.
The skin still felt the same. Under Kurogane’s hands the texture of lithe muscle and strong bone and cool skin that warmed to his touch was no different.
When Kurogane closed his eyes, he could not tell the difference between midnight ink and moonlight skin.
But Kurogane kept his eyes open. This tattoo was new to him; Fai’s body was not. He had already learned this body, with hands and mouth and fingertips and tongue. Now he wanted to learn Fai’s body with the tattoo stretching in elegant lines over so much of his skin.
Kurogane kissed the back of Fai’s neck, following the crest of feathers down with a tongue sliding slowly over the black, until he reached the furl of a wing. He traced it with the tip of his tongue, across a shoulder blade and down an arm to where it curled around Fai’s upper arm. He followed another thick black line of feather back the way he had come, his tongue dedicated to its task, to where it curved around ribs.
“Kurogane ...”
The voice was breathless, pleading.
“Missed a spot,” Kurogane murmured, pressing his lips to a curling black line below Fai’s collarbone.
Fai laughed and then moaned. “Please ...”
“Not yet.”
“... so mean ...”
Kurogane nudged his nose against Fai’s, breathing against his lips. “I can stop.”
Fai grabbed onto him immediately. “No you can’t.”
“I can stop or I can go on.”
“... do you have to go so slow?”
“I can go slower,” Kurogane whispered, teasing.
“No ...”
“You want me to stop ...?”
“No.”
“Then don’t complain.”
Fai whimpered helplessly.
Kurogane kissed the matching curl of black beneath Fai’s collarbone on the other side of his chest. Then he dipped his head down to the curving lines of feather across the magician’s ribs, following the same path with his lips and tongue as he had on the other side of Fai’s body, but slower than before, until the wing joined the phoenix body again.
His tongue traced even more slowly now, down one black tail feather and up one longer tail feather and down the longest tail feather, and lower, until Fai was whimpering with every breath.
“I like this tattoo.” Kurogane said.
* * *
One mid-winter morning Fai awoke to the sound of a tapping at his window. He knew before he opened his eyes what was wrong.
He rolled out of his bed and opened the window wide. A little yellow bird flew inside, circled his room once, and landed on the windowsill.
“Chii! Chii! Chii!”
With a sigh, Fai crouched down so his face was level with the bird’s. He touched a gentle fingertip to the top of her head and rubbed a little. “So it is time, lovely?”
“Chii!”
“I understand.”
“Chii! Chii!”
“Do not worry. I will do what I must.” Fai smiled, a very sad smile. “Thank you, lovely.”
“Chii!”
Fai watched as the yellow bird flew away again, disappearing into the sky.
* * *
Fai had lost one family through his own selfishness and stupidity; and then he had lost them again to Ashura’s War.
Fai had lost the family he had found because that seemed to be the way hitsuzen was bound to work for him.
But somewhere across the stars, Syaoran and Sakura and Mokona were still out there. And they were still his family, no matter how far apart they were.
Kurogane and Tomoyo and Souma were right here with him, and they were his family now also.
Fai would not let Ashura take another family away from him.
* * * * *
end note: if you have made it to the end of this chapter, congratulations! you have just read 5,850 words. this was the longest chapter of the fic (most of them are about 10 pages in Word, and this was 22).
cue sad music: I'm gonna be out of town next week on vacation, so no chapter next Monday. but on the bright side, maybe, this chapter was long enough to count as two chapters? even if it was kinda cliff-hangery?
and it seems likely I'll be writing porn most of the time I'm gone anyway, lol.
Author: alliterationhor
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Spoilers: Yama Yama Yama. a bit of Kurogane's backstory.
Rating: R-ish?
Status: 9/12 chapters.
Author's note: fluff. fluffity fluff-tastic fluff.
Another note: this chapter is hella long.
Also note: for easy reference, the tattoo.
Fanfic archive here.
Comments/concrit appreciated.
Previous chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12
What You Wish For
Once had this dream
Crashed down in Oz
Not black and white but where the colors are
I never dreamed that I would let it go
-Guster, What You Wish For
Chapter Nine
Fai had had a family once, and he had lost them.
Fai had found a family, mommy and daddy and children. And half of that family was dimensions away, and daddy did not remember him.
Fai had found a sister in Tomoyo, a friend in Souma, and a home with Kurogane.
Fai had no intention of running away anymore.
* * *
Fai woke up in Kurogane’s bed, and grinned. He stretched, muscles satisfied and languid, and draped himself half on top of the other man.
Kurogane grunted a little, but made no movement or objection.
“Kuro ...” Fai murmured, stretching out the vowels. He laughed a little when there was no response, and tapped a fingertip against Kurogane’s lips. “Kuro.”
Still no reaction.
“Kuro ...”
Fai pulled himself up and sat on top of the ninja, legs on either side of Kurogane’s hips. “Kuro-chan!” he called, resting his weight against a very intimate part of the other man’s body.
“Shut up already.” Kurogane grumbled. But his hands came to rest lightly on Fai’s waist.
“Kuro-mu.” Fai leaned down so that their faces were almost touching, and whispered, “I want breakfast in bed.”
“Okay.” Kurogane agreed, without opening his eyes. “Bring me back something-not sweet.”
Fai pouted. “I want you to bring me breakfast in bed.”
“No.”
Fai grinned; he did love a challenge.
“Please ...? Please please please? Kuro-fe? Kuro-fi? Kuro-fo? Kuro-fum? Pleeeeeeeeeease?”
“Alright, alright!” Kurogane grumbled as he shoved the wizard off him and reached for his robe.
“Yay!” Fai clapped happily. “I want a chocolate donut. Make that four. And coffee!”
“Black with lots of sugar. I know.” Kurogane leaned down and gave Fai a fierce kiss that ended too quickly. “You better be here when I get back.”
“Or you could stay.” Fai suggested, trying to pull Kurogane back down onto the bed.
“No.” Kurogane gave Fai’s hand a squeeze before he released it. “You nagged me into breakfast, you’re getting breakfast.”
“I’ll be here. Hurry back!”
When he was gone, Fai burrowed down into the blankets, wrapping himself in residual body heat. He pushed his face into Kurogane’s pillow and inhaled deeply, submerging himself in the other man’s smell.
They had never stayed anywhere long enough for their beds to absorb their smell-except Yama. But in Yama, the beds were too narrow for two people to share.
Fai thought this bed was a perfect size for them to share. Fai hoped they would share this bed for a very long time.
* * *
Swordplay lessons (taught by Kurogane, with assistance from Fai) somehow spilled over into yoga lessons (taught by Fai and loathed by Kurogane).
“I know you’re just making this crap up.” Kurogane muttered, trying not to fall down.
“Shut up.” Fai responded cheerfully. “You have to focus, and relax. Breathe. And bend your leg a little more.”
“I’m supposed to do all that at once?”
Fai grinned. “Shutting up is the most important one!”
* * *
Fai was propped up on one elbow beside Kurogane on the bed. One light fingertip traced over the scars that marked the ninja’s body, old scars and new.
Kurogane’s body was like a book, Fai decided. His body was a book and his skin was the pages and each scar, small or large, new or old, told a story. One day, Fai vowed, he would know every scar and every story of every scar by heart.
“Stop thinking.” Kurogane murmured, his fist tugging gently on blond hair.
“Hm?”
“Stop thinking.” he repeated, without opening his eyes. “This is good. We’re good.”
Fai smiled, happy and content. “We are good.”
“So shut up.”
Fai chuckled. “You do not want to know what I was thinking about?” he questioned, touching a fingertip to the ninja’s lips.
Kurogane pretended to snap his teeth at the fingertip, but kissed it instead. “You’ll tell me if you want me to know.”
“I was thinking that one day I will know you by heart.”
Kurogane opened his eyes, red meeting blue. “You will, hm?”
“Yes.” Fai tapped a fingertip against a scar on a tan shoulder. “You tell me the story, and I will kiss your scar.”
“I have a lot of scars.” Kurogane remarked. “That could take awhile.”
“Oh.” Fai nodded, making a sad face. “Okay. I understand. You are bored with me already.” He started to get up from the bed. “I will go back to my room.”
“No.” Kurogane grabbed Fai’s arm and wrestled him back onto the bed, pinning the slender man under his weight easily. “You’re not going anywhere.”
Kurogane kissed Fai, using his lips and tongue to communicate better than words ever could that he wanted Fai to stay right where he was.
Fai grinned against Kurogane’s lips. “Well, since you asked so nicely.”
“Every scar?” he asked, shifting his weight onto his side so that he was laying beside the mage.
“Yes. Every scar.” Fai touched the scar on his shoulder again, “Starting with this scar. How did you get it?”
Kurogane leaned back, head propped on his hand. “I fell out of a tree.”
Fai repeated slowly, with disbelief, “You fell ... out of a tree?”
“Yes.”
“You fell out of a tree.” he said again, as if he did not quite get it. “It is just so normal.”
Kurogane gave him a look, arching an eyebrow. “You were expecting something more impressive?”
“It is ... very un-ninja of you.” Fai pointed out.
“I was six years old.” Kurogane returned. “I wasn’t a ninja yet, dumbass.”
Fai laughed. “You mean you did not come from the womb with that glare and fearsome ninja skills?”
“Were you born as annoying as you are right now?” Kurogane asked, moving his knee a little so that it bumped against Fai’s.
“This is an acquired skill.” Fai stated with pride. “Years and years of refinement.”
“And fearsome ninja skills take years and years of practice.”
Fai laid down on his back, so that he was close to Kurogane and looking up at him. “Who taught you?”
“My father.” Kurogane answered quietly.
“What was he like?” Fai asked, tracing a fingertip over Kurogane’s ear and down his neck. He let his hand come to rest against a hard, muscled shoulder.
“He was a great man.”
Fai smiled, thinking that should be obvious since he was responsible for such a great son. “You take after him, then.”
Kurogane’s eyes were distant, his voice far away. “I want him to be proud of me.”
“I do not know how he could not be.”
Kurogane was quiet, contemplative. Fai stayed silent; he knew Kurogane was thinking.
“My father taught me to be strong, to protect the ones I love. I lost sight of that lesson, for a long time. I wanted to be stronger so that I would not be hurt. I sought strength, only to be the strongest.” Kurogane sighed and sat up, his legs over the edge of the bed. “I forgot the lessons he taught me.”
Fai followed, sitting next to him so that their arms touched. “But you have remembered.”
“Yes. To be strong without purpose is meaningless. To be truly strong is to be unselfish; to protect those who cannot protect themselves, to protect who you love and what you love.” He paused, and smiled a little. “That is why Tomoyo sent me on my journey. And I am glad she did.” His voice was low, “I would have been someone my father would not have been proud of, if she had not.”
Fai nodded against his shoulder, understanding the ninja much better now. After a moment, he turned his head and touched his lips to the small scar; one down. Then he drew a light fingertip across a faded scar on Kurogane’s left palm.
“And this one?” he asked quietly.
Kurogane looked down at his palm, and smiled ruefully. “Tomoyo gave me that one.”
“Tomoyo-chan?” Fai asked, surprised.
“You really want to hear the story?”
Kurogane was looking at him with a solemn expression. Fai nodded, just as solemnly.
“Yes. I really want to know.”
* * *
Souma put her pickles onto Kurogane’s plate and exchanged them for his tomatoes.
Kurogane glared.
“You don’t like tomatoes,” she pointed out, reasonably.
“But they’re my tomatoes.”
Souma rolled her eyes. “May I please have your tomatoes, Kurogane-san?”
“Yes, you may.”
Fai grinned at Kurogane and placed his tomatoes on Souma’s plate.
Tomoyo smiled at them. She had noticed, lately, the soft and somewhat secretive smiles between Kurogane and Fai. She had noticed that the two men sat closer to each other, and that their body language spoke of comfort and intimacy.
Tomoyo knew something had changed between them, something for the better.
She was too happy for them both, and she would not pry. They would tell her, when they were ready. For now, it was enough that she knew they were both happy.
* * *
“I have something for you.” Kurogane said, as they walked down the hall to their rooms.
Fai grinned, excited. “A present?”
“Yes.”
“Is it big?”
“Yes.”
“Is it long?”
“Yes.”
“Sounds like a present I will definitely enjoy.” Fai commented, closing the door to Kurogane’s room behind them.
Kurogane reached into his wardrobe, then handed the mage a long wooden box. “Here you go.”
“Oh.” Fai blinked in surprise, then laughed. “Not a metaphor, then.”
“No.” Kurogane answered, almost smiling. “Not a metaphor.”
Fai sat down on the edge of the bed with the box in his lap. Kurogane sat next to him, leaning back with his arms braced on the mattress.
Fai slid the cover off the box. “It is ... a sword.”
It was not an ornate sword, and it was not as long as Kurogane’s sword. It looked strong, light, and serviceable. The only decoration on it was a light blue cabochon that was set between the hilt and the blade, gleaming like water in sunlight.
“I had it made for you.” Kurogane told him. “It’s past time you had a sword of your own.”
Fai tapped the metal blade and looked up at Kurogane with a smile. “This is your idea of romantic, hm.”
Kurogane rolled his eyes. “Swords are not romantic.”
“That would be my point.” Fai grinned. “What am I going to do with you?”
“You could say thank you.”
“Thank you. It is a very nice sword.” Fai leaned over and gave Kurogane a kiss. “Even if it is not the least bit romantic.”
“It is a weapon,” Kurogane admitted. “But it is also a way of saying you are worthy of a great weapon. And a way of saying that I want you to use it to stay alive.” A hint of a smile touched his lips. “Is that not romantic?”
“Oh.”
Fai looked down at the sword again, seeing it differently now. Sometimes it was too easy to forget that Kurogane looked at the world through very different eyes than his own. Fai looked at a sword and saw a weapon capable of killing; Kurogane looked at a sword and saw pride, a compliment.
“Thank you.” he said, meaning it completely this time.
“Of course,” Kurogane whispered into his ear, “it could be just a sword.”
Fai laughed and pushed Kurogane down on the bed. “Shut up.”
* * *
It was early one morning in the palace, before anyone else was about. Kurogane’s arms slid around Fai from behind, where the magician was standing at the stove.
“Mm.” Fai reached up a hand to ruffle the ninja’s hair. “Hello.”
Kurogane dropped a kiss on Fai’s shoulder. “Good morning.”
Fai sighed. “There was a plan.”
“What plan?”
“A plan to bring you breakfast in bed, silly Kuro-bun. And now you have ruined the plan.”
Kurogane looked down at the pan and raised an eyebrow. “What is that?”
“Watermelon pancakes.”
Kurogane shook his head; he should know better than to ask.
“I think you will like them.” Fai said, as if he had heard the thought.
“I woke up and you weren’t there.” Kurogane murmured against the soft hair at back of Fai’s neck. One hand slipped into the mage’s robe and found smooth skin.
“That was part of the plan. To be back before you woke up.” Fai said, successfully ignoring the hand. “See what you have done?”
“Deepest apologies.” he offered, and pinched.
Fai nodded graciously and slapped at the hand. “Accepted. Now go back to bed and pretend to be surprised when I bring you breakfast.”
“New plan.”
Kurogane picked Fai up by the waist and set him on the island across from the stove. He pulled the wizard against him, his hands at Fai’s waist and Fai’s legs wrapped around him. Kurogane kissed him hungrily, with sharp teeth and demanding tongue.
“Mmm ... Wait, wait!” Fai stretched one long leg out and turned off the stove with his toes. “Okay. You may resume the ravishment.”
* * *
“You could ask Tomoyo to put that marking on you again. She could, couldn’t she?” Kurogane asked one afternoon, without glancing up from the schedule he was planning for the Guard.
Fai looked up from where he was laying on the bed and reading a book. “What?”
“It’s just a thought. You’re stronger with it, right?”
“Yes.” Fai said, after a moment’s hesitation.
Kurogane set his pen down and looked at Fai. “You could do magic again, if you wanted to.”
“I do not miss it, much.” Fai said quietly. Then, “Sometimes.”
“I wondered.”
“Hm?”
Kurogane thought for a moment, then explained, “If it’s like-a part of you. Like Souhi is to me. I am sure I could live without a sword, but I wouldn’t want to.”
Fai stood up, wrapped his arms around Kurogane’s neck, and gave the ninja a kiss on the cheek. “I will think about it.”
* * *
“Souma.” Tomoyo whispered.
Souma stirred, not opening her eyes. “... yes, love.”
“Would you be a dear?”
“Hm?”
“And go get me some banana soup?”
“It’s ... the middle of the night ...”
Tomoyo pouted. “But I am hungry ...”
“Can’t you get one of the other ninjas on duty to get it for you?” She whined, “I’m sleeping ...”
“But you are my favourite ninja ...” Tomoyo complimented, scratching a teasing fingertip against Souma’s ear.
Souma grumbled, “Kurogane is your favourite ninja. Make him get it.”
“Kurogane is my favourite boy ninja. You are my favourite-”
“-girl ninja.”
Tomoyo grinned, poking Souma’s shoulder. “And you are right here.”
“Yes. Here. Stay. Good. Sleep.”
“Banana soup. Please?”
Souma never could say no to her princess.
* * *
Souma heard strange, low noises coming from the kitchen. She advanced cautiously, but as she got closer she realized the sounds were not of struggle-not the kind of struggle that someone would require rescuing from, anyway.
She knocked on the doorjamb to get their attention, “Ahem.”
Kurogane and Fai turned their heads in comical slow motion.
“Really.” Souma commented, looking pointedly at the ceiling. “I wouldn’t have expected the wizard to have better sense. But you, Kurogane.” she admonished, “I thought you were better behaved than this.”
“Souma ...”
“Don’t mind me.” She raised a hand to block them from her view as she crossed the kitchen. “Tomoyo has a craving for some of Fai-san’s banana soup, so I’m just going to get some out of the chill box-without looking at you two.”
Fai and Kurogane were very quiet until Souma left the kitchen.
And then Fai burst into quiet giggles, burying his face into the ninja’s shoulder.
“... I told you this was a bad idea.” Kurogane grumbled, a bit embarrassed.
“Hey.” Fai mumbled, not embarrassed at all, and licked a smear of honey from the ninja’s neck. “Naked man in your lap. Pay attention.”
* * *
“You will never believe who I just found in the kitchen.” Souma said as she sat down on the bed with the bowl of banana soup. She reconsidered, “Actually, you will believe, and you’ll be delighted.”
Tomoyo sat up quickly, grinning, her violet eyes bright. “Who?”
“... not decently clothed ...”
“Who.”
“Guess.” Souma teased.
“Kurogane. And Fai.”
“Yes.”
“Oh!” Tomoyo cried happily. Then, as the ‘not decently clothed’ part registered, “Oh.”
“I didn’t see anything, thankfully,” Souma assured her princess. She pulled her legs up onto the bed to sit cross-legged. “But they were definitely naked.”
Tomoyo smiled blissfully. “I am so happy for them.”
“You are, aren’t you.” Souma commented, amused.
“Yes!” Tomoyo exclaimed. Then she looked at Souma and began to smile in a different way. She announced, “And I think it is about time that you were definitely naked.”
“You do? What about the banana soup?”
Tomoyo dipped a finger into the soup and smeared it along the curve of Souma’s collarbone; Souma smiled.
“Oh, I am still hungry.”
* * *
One day there was a loud “BOOM!” from the back of the palace, where Fai had been given a few rooms to work in after the kitchen staff had demanded he needed a place other than their chill box to store his salamander eyes and toad tongues.
Kurogane and Souma and several other ninjas ran to the room, where they found thick pungent smoke billowing out of the doorway.
Through the smoke, Jalen had the grace to look embarrassed.
Fai did not.
“Turns out thyme and arnet root are not interchangeable.” he muttered, thoughtfully. “Must make a note of that.”
* * *
Tomoyo led Fai into her sewing room and gestured to two kimonos hanging on the wall.
One was a cobalt blue colour with a delicate stitching of ice blue thread around the hem and sleeves, in a pattern of vines and leaves that crept upward along the fabric. It had a black sash.
The other kimono was black, with the same pattern of stitching but the thread was the cobalt blue colour. It had a sash of the dark blue.
“Do you like them?”
“These are beautiful, Tomoyo-chan.” Fai said, lifting the sleeve of the dark blue kimono to study the stitching detail. “They must have taken you a long time.”
“I did not mind. They are a present.” She grinned, unable to contain her happiness. “For your wedding.”
“My wedding?” Fai laughed. “Who am I marrying?”
“Hm. I think this will look very nice on Kurogane.” she said, touching the sleeve of the black kimono. “Do you think so?”
Fai took a moment to wonder if Kurogane did not propose to him, whether Tomoyo would propose to him for Kurogane.
* * *
Fai sat up suddenly, from where he was leaning against Esmeralda’s trunk and Kurogane’s shoulder. He looked over at Kurogane with mischievous eyes.
“... Souma?”
Kurogane half-opened his eyes. “What about her?”
“You and Souma?”
“What are you talking about?” he asked, still at a loss.
“You and Souma?” Fai said pointedly, grinning with a bit of a leer.
Kurogane frowned in confusion. “How do you know that?”
“Esmeralda told me.”
“How-” He paused, thought for a second, and would have blushed if he did that sort of thing. “Oh.”
“She says that was a very rude thing to do in front of her.” Fai grinned again. “By the way, I think Esmeralda has a crush on you.”
Kurogane grumbled and crossed his arms, unamused. “Damn talking trees.”
“Gareth too?!”
“Shut up, Esmeralda!”
Fai started to giggle. Kurogane was really so adorable when he was embarrassed.
“You shut up too.” he muttered, pushing a hard hand against the mage’s shoulder.
“Do not worry, Esmeralda.” Fai said reassuringly, patting her trunk. “That is how Kurogane displays affection.”
“That is Kurogane displays annoyance.” he corrected.
“In fact, I now consider ‘idiot’ to be a term of endearment.” Fai informed the ninja proudly.
Red eyes glared at him. “You are an idiot.”
“Kuro-pin is so sweet!” Fai exclaimed, pinching Kurogane’s cheek.
Kurogane shoved the hand away and grabbed a fistful of Fai’s tunic. “Come here.”
“No!” Fai cried, pretending to struggle. “Nooo, not in front of Esmeralda! I want to stay on her good side!”
Kurogane pushed him down easily, large hands holding down thin wrists and legs locked to hold Fai’s down. Kurogane watched with a small smile as the blond still pretended to struggle, arching his hips up against the ninja’s in a way that was definitely not meant for escape.
Fai’s cheeks were flushed pink by the time he gave up his efforts. He pouted. “Do you bring all your ...” He hesitated-lovers? Significant others? “Do you bring everyone you kiss here, then?”
Kurogane stared down into blue eyes. He knew that the question was meant as teasing, but he also knew that there was an element of truth behind it.
The truth was that Kurogane had honestly never felt like this about anyone before.
“You’re here now.” he whispered, his lips very close to the other man’s. “That’s all that matters.”
In the sunlight, the two of them kissed, bodies melting against each other into an intimate embrace.
* * *
Kurogane answered the knock to find Fai on the other side of the door. There was a wide grin brightening the mage’s face and his arms were behind his back.
“Hello!” Fai chirped, and stretched up on his toes to smack a kiss on the ninja’s cheek. Then he held out a brightly wrapped box. “This is for you!”
Kurogane took the present from Fai. “What is it?”
“Open it!” Fai exclaimed, bouncing excitedly. “Open it open it open it!”
“Alright, I’m opening.” Kurogane said, sitting down on his bed.
Inside the shiny green wrapping was a heavy tome bound in dark blue leather. The silver lettering across the front read:
Across the Universe
A Collection of Recipes
by Fai D. Flowright
“It’s a book.” Kurogane turned it over and ran a finger along the spine. “A book you wrote?”
“Well, ‘collected’ is the more accurate term.” Fai said, tapping the word ‘Collection’ on the cover. “They are recipes I learned in my travels. So if someone wants to know how to make banana soup, they only have to look it up.”
Kurogane looked up and smiled. “This is really good.”
“I know you’ll never use it, of course.” Fai took a seat beside him and dropped his chin onto the ninja’s shoulder. “But I dedicated it to you, so I wanted you to have the first copy.”
Kurogane flipped to the dedication and read. He huffed a breath, somewhere between annoyance and amusement. “I do not snore.”
Fai grinned against his ear. “Do too ...”
Kurogane’s arm settled around Fai’s waist and squeezed him closer, gently. “Thank you.”
“It was thanks to you that it even exists.” Fai said, shrugging a little dismissively.
“But you wrote it.”
“Collected.”
“Whatever.” Kurogane closed the book and weighed it in his hand-it was heavy. “This was a lot of hard work, wasn’t it?”
“There was much experimenting involved, yes.”
“And now you have a book.” Kurogane smiled. “I’m proud of you.”
“Oh, Kuro-tan is such a charmer.” Fai drawled, trying to pretend the blush on his cheeks was for effect.
Kurogane pushed the other man down onto the bed gently, hovering over him. “You should be proud of you too.” he said seriously.
Fai smiled a little, trying to get used to the feeling of being proud of something he had done. “I wrote a book.”
“Collected.” Kurogane murmured, his lips against Fai’s neck.
“Okay. Moment ruined.” Fai pushed at the ninja’s shoulders. “Let me up!”
“No.”
Fai turned his face away with a pout. “I do not want to kiss you anymore.”
Kurogane paused his attentions to Fai’s neck only long enough to mutter, “Liar.”
“Mm.” Fai shifted subtly underneath his weight, so that he could arch his hips up against the ninja’s. “Maybe I will let you kiss me.”
Kurogane exhaled a breath against Fai’s neck, almost a laugh. “Generous.”
“I think so. So shut up and kiss me already.”
“You shut up.”
“Make mff-mmm ...”
* * *
Fai was cuddled up behind Kurogane and kissing his neck with leisurely dedication. One of his arms was underneath one of Kurogane’s and around the ninja’s waist; one of his legs was comfortably trapped between the other man’s legs.
Kurogane was close to sleep, content, and completely satisfied. This was where he was meant to be, he knew, with Fai. He was, to put it quite simply, happy.
“So is that how I am rewarded for writing a book?” Fai asked, licking the sensitive spot behind Kurogane’s ear.
“Collecting.”
Fai bit his ear gently. “Whatever.”
“Maybe.” he murmured, shivering when Fai began to suck on his neck. “How many books do you plan to write?”
Fai detached his mouth long enough to answer, “At least one more. A book of healing potions and poultices.”
Kurogane turned over so that he was laying on his other side, facing Fai on the bed. “Yeah?”
“Mm.” Fai nodded, watching his fingertip wander a slow path over Kurogane’s broad chest. “It is taking a bit longer than the recipes because the magical ingredients are much more complicated and temperamental.”
“Magical?” Kurogane questioned, fingertips tucking blond hair behind Fai’s ear.
“Like Kenet. The knowledge comes from magic and the ingredients are magical, but anyone can make them.” He added, “If they have a bit of patience, of course.”
Kurogane was smiling at him as if he was about to say that ‘proud’ word again.
Fai pointed a finger at him. “Do not say it. I have not finished it yet. You will jinx it if you say it before I have finished it.”
“But you will finish it.”
“If all goes as planned, yes.”
* * *
Fai had asked Tomoyo to send the second copy of his book to Syaoran and Sakura in Clow. The second copy was dedicated to Syaoran (who had partially given him the idea to write a book) and Sakura as well as Kurogane.
Two days later, Tomoyo handed him a gift box with a large sparkly bow. Inside there was a framed picture of Syaoran and Sakura on their wedding day. The two of them looked blissfully happy, and Fai was so happy for them it almost hurt.
The card read, “We hope you two are as happy as we are.”
Fai smiled and stared at it for a long, long moment. Then he sighed, and touched his fingertip to the ‘two’. When he lifted his finger, the word was gone.
After he had wrapped it again, Fai asked Tomoyo to give the gift to Kurogane.
* * *
Kurogane placed the framed picture of Syaoran and Sakura on his dresser, and stepped back to look at it. He was grateful to have it, grateful to be able to see their faces and their smiles again. He was grateful that they looked so happy, no one in the worlds deserved it more than those two did.
Fai came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Kurogane’s waist, peering around the ninja’s broad shoulder to look at the picture. “Your friends?”
Kurogane lifted his arms a little to make room for Fai’s under his, and one of his hands rested along Fai’s elbow. “Yes.”
“You miss them?” he asked softly, even though he already knew the answer.
Kurogane answered quietly, “Yes.”
Fai thought, I miss them too. But he only smiled.
“But they’re happy.” Kurogane continued, after a moment. “And I’m happy.”
“You are?” Fai questioned, smiling even more.
“Yes. And you?”
“Yes. I am happy.”
* * *
“Where’s everyone else?” Kurogane asked as he sat down.
“They had things to do.” Tomoyo answered, before taking a sip of her tea.
Kurogane nodded, silent.
“Are you disappointed?”
“No.”
Tomoyo just smiled at him.
Kurogane sighed. He knew that smile, and he knew that smile meant that Tomoyo could see right through him. “Stop smiling at me.”
“I like smiling at you.” she returned easily.
“I’m not disappointed.” Kurogane grumbled. “It’ll be nice to have a quiet dinner with you without the two of them chattering on and on.”
“Yes.” But Tomoyo knew he did not mind as much as he pretended to. “It will be nice to have dinner with my favourite ninja.”
Kurogane muttered somewhat sulkily, “Souma is your favourite ninja.”
“Souma is my favourite girl ninja. You are my favourite-”
“-boy ninja.” Kurogane finished, the phrase a familiar one.
Tomoyo laughed. “You are happier, are you not?”
Kurogane did not have to pause before answering, “Yes. I am.”
Her smile grew softer, more affectionate. “I am glad.”
Kurogane looked down for a long moment. But he met his princess’ eyes steadily as he said, “Thank you, Tomoyo.”
“For what?”
Kurogane meant many things: for knowing he needed to learn a lesson when he did not know he needed to learn it; for sending him on the journey that had taught him so much about strength, both physical strength and strength of heart; for the friendships he had forged there that he would keep with him always, even if he never saw those friends again; for being his friend; and for being Tomoyo.
He said simply, “Don’t make me say it.”
Tomoyo smiled warmly, as if she had heard everything he had not said. “You are welcome, Kurogane.”
* * *
The first snowfall of the season happened one morning when the four companions were eating breakfast together.
Tomoyo was thrilled; she grabbed Souma’s hand and dragged her outside. Kurogane and Fai followed more slowly.
Kurogane and Souma watched as Tomoyo held up her arms to the snow and spun in a circle, face upturned as cold flakes melted against her skin, laughing delightedly.
Fai held out his hand to the snow, watching as it melted slowly in his palm.
The snowfall felt like an ending.
“Hey.”
Fai looked over at Kurogane, blue eyes cloudy. “Hm?”
“It’s just snow.” he stated, bumping his shoulder to Fai’s shoulder lightly.
“Yes.” Fai murmured, dropping his hand. “It is just snow.”
But still the snow left Fai with a troubled feeling.
* * *
After the four of them had finished breakfast, Fai waited until he was alone with Tomoyo.
“Tomoyo-chan ... May I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
Fai opened his mouth to speak, but he did not know what to say.
After a moment, Tomoyo inquired, “Is this about your marking?”
Fai entertained a fleeting thought that he should wonder how she knew that. But he was rather grateful that she did, and that he would not have to explain. “Yes.”
Tomoyo smiled. “I was wondering when you would ask. Come with me.”
She stood and led him down the hall to her sitting room. She retrieved a long, unfinished wooden box from one of her cabinets. Inside, wrapped in a sheath of white silk, was his marking.
“Tomoyo-chan ...” Fai’s voice was low and unsteady. “You should not have ...”
“I could have put a new one on you, but this one already knows you. It will serve you better.”
Fai ran his hand over the air above the tattoo, reverently, feeling the familiar aura of magic that radiated from it. “May I ask ... What did you have to exchange?”
Tomoyo answered immediately, “Nothing for you to worry about.”
“But ...”
“I gave Yuuko a few magical trinkets and promised to make her some outfits.”
Fai looked up. “That was all?”
“No.” she said, in a firm voice that would encourage no further questions. “But as I said, it is nothing for you to worry about.”
Fai felt undeserving of such generosity. He took a deep breath before he spoke, “I owe you so much, Tomoyo-chan.”
Tomoyo gave him a warm smile. “You do not owe me anything. This is what friends do.”
* * *
Pale skin gleamed bright in moonlight, like silver. Thick lines of black curved across the silvery skin.
The tattoo was the deep black of the midnight sky, seeming to absorb the moonlight rather than reflect it.
The skin still tasted the same. Under Kurogane’s tongue the skin was still smooth over supple muscles; pale or black, it still tasted like Fai.
The skin still felt the same. Under Kurogane’s hands the texture of lithe muscle and strong bone and cool skin that warmed to his touch was no different.
When Kurogane closed his eyes, he could not tell the difference between midnight ink and moonlight skin.
But Kurogane kept his eyes open. This tattoo was new to him; Fai’s body was not. He had already learned this body, with hands and mouth and fingertips and tongue. Now he wanted to learn Fai’s body with the tattoo stretching in elegant lines over so much of his skin.
Kurogane kissed the back of Fai’s neck, following the crest of feathers down with a tongue sliding slowly over the black, until he reached the furl of a wing. He traced it with the tip of his tongue, across a shoulder blade and down an arm to where it curled around Fai’s upper arm. He followed another thick black line of feather back the way he had come, his tongue dedicated to its task, to where it curved around ribs.
“Kurogane ...”
The voice was breathless, pleading.
“Missed a spot,” Kurogane murmured, pressing his lips to a curling black line below Fai’s collarbone.
Fai laughed and then moaned. “Please ...”
“Not yet.”
“... so mean ...”
Kurogane nudged his nose against Fai’s, breathing against his lips. “I can stop.”
Fai grabbed onto him immediately. “No you can’t.”
“I can stop or I can go on.”
“... do you have to go so slow?”
“I can go slower,” Kurogane whispered, teasing.
“No ...”
“You want me to stop ...?”
“No.”
“Then don’t complain.”
Fai whimpered helplessly.
Kurogane kissed the matching curl of black beneath Fai’s collarbone on the other side of his chest. Then he dipped his head down to the curving lines of feather across the magician’s ribs, following the same path with his lips and tongue as he had on the other side of Fai’s body, but slower than before, until the wing joined the phoenix body again.
His tongue traced even more slowly now, down one black tail feather and up one longer tail feather and down the longest tail feather, and lower, until Fai was whimpering with every breath.
“I like this tattoo.” Kurogane said.
* * *
One mid-winter morning Fai awoke to the sound of a tapping at his window. He knew before he opened his eyes what was wrong.
He rolled out of his bed and opened the window wide. A little yellow bird flew inside, circled his room once, and landed on the windowsill.
“Chii! Chii! Chii!”
With a sigh, Fai crouched down so his face was level with the bird’s. He touched a gentle fingertip to the top of her head and rubbed a little. “So it is time, lovely?”
“Chii!”
“I understand.”
“Chii! Chii!”
“Do not worry. I will do what I must.” Fai smiled, a very sad smile. “Thank you, lovely.”
“Chii!”
Fai watched as the yellow bird flew away again, disappearing into the sky.
* * *
Fai had lost one family through his own selfishness and stupidity; and then he had lost them again to Ashura’s War.
Fai had lost the family he had found because that seemed to be the way hitsuzen was bound to work for him.
But somewhere across the stars, Syaoran and Sakura and Mokona were still out there. And they were still his family, no matter how far apart they were.
Kurogane and Tomoyo and Souma were right here with him, and they were his family now also.
Fai would not let Ashura take another family away from him.
* * * * *
end note: if you have made it to the end of this chapter, congratulations! you have just read 5,850 words. this was the longest chapter of the fic (most of them are about 10 pages in Word, and this was 22).
cue sad music: I'm gonna be out of town next week on vacation, so no chapter next Monday. but on the bright side, maybe, this chapter was long enough to count as two chapters? even if it was kinda cliff-hangery?
and it seems likely I'll be writing porn most of the time I'm gone anyway, lol.