(Untitled)

[kittydesade]

Comments

[trinker]

You can beat someone to death with a KA? You're really, really strong. ;)

[kittydesade]

You know, I actually looked up the weight of a KitchenAid to see if I could? I probably could! It's no heavier than the buckets of chemicals I haul around the store sometimes. Assuming the listed weight on Amazon is correct. If not, I'm in trouble. ;)

[trinker]

KA's really awkward to lug. Buckets have a convenient handle, or a nice cylindrical shape.

[kittydesade]

The handle's only convenient until it starts cutting into my hand while the customer dithers over where they were parked. Rarr. Next time I hold it in arms instead.

I'm going to have to pick up the KA next time I'm at the farm, if I don't have mine yet, and see.

I think this is going to become an Experiment.

[trinker]

You're going to put this in a fic, and your betas will keeeeell me.

[kittydesade]

One of my betas is chiming in. I also realized as I was actually thinking about how I'd heft a KitchenAid, my biggest problem isn't the weight or the wieldiness, it's the fact that I'm five-foot-short, and in order to get a good clobbering angle I'd have to raise it very high above my head, and even then.

[trinker]

See? See?! And unless you had a really lucky first strike, you'd have to do it AGAIN. And maybe even AGAIN.

Total workout.

[kittydesade]

Well, it's kind of like using a claymore. You hit them once. If that doesn't do the job, you hit them again. If that doesn't do the job, you need a better weapon.

[trinker]

Highlander fanfic. Crossover with pick-any-cooking-show. Maybe Highlander AU where Robert Irvine (Dinner: Impossible) is immortal.

[kittydesade]

I'm going to have to watch that show now, and possibly write this. It was either that or Tony Bourdain, which isn't so much a cooking show but he has a good chance of running into some kind of an Immortal on his travels.

Possibly I should warn you that I have now linked a professional author I sometimes converse with on Twitter to this whole discussion. If this shows up in widely distributed fiction... well, I might laugh myself silly, really.

[trinker]

In which case for potential legal reasons, I will explicitly state that I don't condone violence of this sort.

[kittydesade]

This is true. I condone and commit fictional violence only. No actual people or animals are to be harmed.

[trinker]

I like Robert Irvine, but I should warn you that he got into a flap awhile back for padding his resume. He's an amazingly entertaining banquet chef with a physique out of sword & sorcery pix.

[kittydesade]

Google images shows me this is so. Yow.

He could advance in the Game with a KitchenAid. Or a claymore.

[trinker]

I'm saying. Drat. I did *not* need this plotbunny.

[trinker]

Who asked you to log me out, LJ?!

(That was, of course, me.)