as carla said, im in a serious place right now. i pretty much hate myself. for numerous reasons. im lazy, unmotivated and probably near failing my book making class. i feel fat and unattrative on my better days. i keep making myself feel like shit over and over and over again, but i cant stop. ill stop when i want to stop ill stop when i want to ( Read more... )

why cant he just be a dick all the time so i can just hate him.

the bus i was on this morning got into an accident ( Read more... )

i just wrote a seven page letter while on the bus. will i ever give it to the person? maybe. probably not. will i read it to them? maybe. tonight or next week when they return to boston. why would i choose to read it? because i can never say everything i want in a thoughtful concise manner when in real conversation. its easier to get it on paper, ( Read more... )

so i just read a ton of my old livejournal entries. jesus. i am a god damned roller coaster of emotion. its kind of weird how articulate i am about my feelings on this thing. i wish i could transfer that into real time and conversation when i need it most.

i feel that since the beginning of october my life has been plagued by ambiguity. never really sure and never very clear. i had some serious talks last night, but it never feels like i got to say everything i needed to say. i spend the next day (today) asking myself the questions that i thought were answered, but definitely were not. its hard for ( Read more... )

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carla and kristin came back last night. im glad theyre safe ( Read more... )

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i love my new room because every morning i wake up by 9 am with the sun in my face. being up so early makes me feel more energetic and productive ( Read more... )