So-- I am 30 and I feel like I have spent the past ten years worried about some guy and I am over the incompleteness in other people that I used to impute to me.  I am over measuring my self worth based on someone else's feeling's towards me.  I think it is the lesson I've learned from the past decade and all the failed relationships.

         So it's Folsom weekend in San Francisco, and the sexual energy is in the air.   Hot guys, from all over the world descending on San Francisco for a weekend of masculine energy.   This should be fun.

        Summer break is about to start and I am going to have to find some hobby to keep myself busy.  I am not going to travel as much as I usually do this summer because I want to save money.    I survived this round of layoffs, which is good.  Now I have tenure with San Francisco Unified School District and could really work on putting my MA to ( Read more... )

The union negotiations with teacher jobs are going horrible.  They seemed to be going well, but then the district came back and sent notice that there needs to be millions more in cuts.    If the district does not rescind the layoff notices it is rumored that we will all go on strike so that the community could feel the impact before the end of the ( Read more... )

      I am not a good cuddle buddy. I figured it out. I can't handle casual intimacy, but isn't all intimacy at the start casual?

I don't know dating confuses me and I am horrible at it. I wish it could just be a simple as like "I like you, you like me, let's be together." I guess it never is. Today I on Cinco de Mayo after Margarita with a friend ( Read more... )

I had to have a non serious, but rather painful surgery yesterday. For a present they gave me hydrocodone and valium. I have been feeling rather loopy all day long. I stayed at my friend David's house and he took care of me. I have a huge crush on my friend David and I have never had a crush on a friend. I wonder if that is a healthy ( Read more... )

        Limbo is neither heaven or hell, but an in between, and the fact that it isn't heaven or hell makes me crazy.  I want it to be something, but it is nothing.  Just indifferent.  All my moods must be interjected.   My dating life has frozen.   I won't know if I my layoff is rescinded until May 15th.  I am bored with San Francisco.   The ( Read more... )

I had a great trip back in Orlando and now I am in SF again.   I am exhausted.  These days it seems like there is no such thing as enough sleep.  I just want to sleep and sleep.  I also have a weird thing going on.  I don't have a fuck buddy, I have a cuddle buddy.  Someone who just likes to hangout and cuddle and act like we are dating, but in the ( Read more... )

I am so tired of always being the one convincing pontential partners of  how great of a human being I am.  I've put way too much preassure on myself and I push those preassures on to other people. I thought I would be somewhere else right now, and I set up expectations for myself, but the only one that I've met is having a good job. I thought I  ( Read more... )

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I miss the guy I was dating.  I think we became good friends and I feel like he is acting distant and not making time for me.  I guess it has only been a week, but still going from hanging out everyday to not hanging out at all.... I guess it is natural that you miss someone.  Oh well, I guess I will have to get over it and not try to force a ( Read more... )