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But when Merlin won that race (because Arthur was too busy having a small sexual crisis to bother paying attention) and he smiled, Arthur wanted to kiss him more than anything in the world and he realised that maybe he had been right when he was eight years old, he did love Merlin, but in a different way.
Most fifteen year old boys, confronted by being gay, would have freaked out, they would have tried to deny it or fight against it, but Arthur had never been most boys. He had just smiled back at Merlin, and marvelled at how easy this made things. Girls, he didn’t understand. Girls wore make up and high heels and laughed nervously when he got too close. Girls had bras and fathers who glared at you like you were the antichrist ( ... )
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Morgana had brought him an aspirin and a glass of water along with a piece of dry toast and, in a display of sisterly affection Arthur had never expected, she had also managed to keep his father away from him until he was less of a wreck.
Merlin, on the other hand, had phoned up at half three in the afternoon, blissfully hangover free, laughing as he asked what had happened after the third game of ‘I never…’
“You don’t remember?” Arthur had asked, in utter disbelief. That moment was still stuck on replay in his head.
“No… God, and I’d only had a couple of drinks,” Merlin was laughing again and Arthur could picture him, grinning inanely.
“Nothing happened,” he said, “nothing at all…”
“Oh good,” Merlin replied. “I didn’t want to miss anything.”
“Don’t worry,” Arthur lied through his teeth, “you didn’t.”
It was at about that time, when he was sixteen, almost seventeen and officially desperately in love ( ... )
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PUDSEY~!! XD
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“I told you, you were an idiot?”
“How long?” Arthur didn’t even try to answer. Suddenly Merlin was sitting up, with that endearing nervous stumbling he always did.
“I... right… I should be… going then.”
“Merlin…”
“I’ll be back,” he said, suddenly, clearly realising what this could look like. “I’ll be back Arthur. I’ve just… this is big, but I will be back.” He was suddenly so serious that Arthur couldn’t help but believe him, and then he disappeared out of the door, in nothing but his boxer shorts, which led, five seconds later to Tina, from down the corridor, popping her head in to give him the thumbs up and mumble ‘score’ around her toothbrush.
She was gone before he could tell her that it wasn’t like that.
Arthur was getting used to staring at ceilings when Merlin was around, they were suitably distracting from thoughts that his best friend would never want to speak to him again and also thoughts of all the things he wanted to do in this bed other than stare at the ceiling. He couldn’t deny that he’d ( ... )
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He grabbed his coffee, spooned some sugar into t and handed it over. Merlin just took it and gulped it down, his mouth not lifting at all.
“What happened?”
“It’s fine,” Merlin said moving through to Arthur’s ridiculous living room, where the furniture had been designed for looks rather than comfort.
“Which explains you showing up on my doorstep looking like someone killed your pet hamster,” Arthur said, unimpressed, he crossed his arms over his chest. “You know, you once yelled at me for feeling like I couldn’t tell you something.”
Merlin looked up, startled, clearly not expecting that after all these years.
“That goes both ways you know.”
They sat down on the light leather sofa (and really, what had Arthur been thinking when he bought it? Impractical, uncomfortable, was there anything good about it) and he waited ( ... )
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“What?” Arthur asked, completely blindsided.
“I don’t mind vacating the premises if you want to bring a guy over,” he said again. They were both watching the screen, but Arthur had the distinct feeling that neither of them was watching the film anymore. “Or I could just go into my room and put my headphones on… I have some very loud music if necessary.”
Arthur knew he was blushing, but the idea, the thought of him and some guy… while Merlin was right there, in the next room. It just seemed wrong, or too kinky, or whatever. He knew he’d never be able to stop thinking about Merlin in there, knowing what he was doing. He would have some other man’s hands on him, in him, he would have another man pressed into the mattress, sweating and writhing beneath him and all he would be able to think about was Merlin and whether Merlin was imagining it, whether Merlin was sitting there thinking about what he was doing ( ... )
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They weren’t sixteen any more and years of practise meant that they weren’t clumsy, although there was an uncertainty and hesitancy that had everything to do with this being themMerlin’s fingers were sliding round the back of his neck, where they had once innocently rubbed in after-sun and his other hand was drifting down Arthur’s torso ( ... )
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