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They weren’t sixteen any more and years of practise meant that they weren’t clumsy, although there was an uncertainty and hesitancy that had everything to do with this being them.
Merlin’s fingers were sliding round the back of his neck, where they had once innocently rubbed in after-sun and his other hand was drifting down Arthur’s torso.
Arthur felt like he was breathing for the first time, the way Merlin tasted, the way he felt and moved against him, the feeling of his heat and his breath and everything. He wanted this forever, and this was everything he had ever wanted. The thrill was still there, the electric current that seemed to zap at his heart and make it jump erratically. He was twenty eight, not seventeen and it shouldn’t feel like this: the giddiness of first love, but that was what it was. Desperation and years of desire and he didn’t even realise that he had Merlin pushed down onto his back until he finally, finally, drew back to gasp air into his lungs and found himself looking down at the shadowy outline of Merlin’s face, mouth open in a way that seemed irresistibly filthy.
“You…” he said, groping for the light switch - he had to see Merlin like this, lips swollen and face flushed, had to see what he had done to him, see if it matched the fantasies. “You’re straight,” he managed to say as the room suddenly filled with light.
“After a kiss like that,” Merlin said slowly, and his open mouth spread into a grin that Arthur wanted to wipe off it. He didn’t want smiles, he wanted round ‘oh’s of need and pleasure. “You’re still thinking I’m straight.”
“You’ve never… with another guy.”
“I’ve never wanted another guy,” Merlin told him and Arthur had to kiss him for that, for being his just his in that way. His head was still spinning and he had to roll his hips against Merlin’s just to make sure that they were really there.
“How long?” Merlin asked in a gasp as he pulled away again, looking down to appreciate the sight. Arthur didn’t want to miss a second. “You never told me before… how long?”
“Since I met you,” Arthur said, reaching up to touch Merlin’s face, his thumb smoothing over Merlin’s rough lips until his tongue slipped out to catch it and suck it in. Arthur groaned without thinking. “Always…”
“Kinky bastard,” Merlin muttered around his thumb, running his tongue over the soft bad of it before swirling around. “We were five.”
“And you were infuriating even then,” Arthur said, reluctantly pulling his hand away from Merlin’s mouth in favour of beginning to strip him slowly, revealing centimetre after centimetre of flesh. “I loved that about you.”
“I…” Arthur’s lips found Merlin’s nipples and he gave a startled squawk, arching off the bed. “I love you too,” he said, breathy and wrecked, his voice so low.
“You’re only saying that to get me into bed,” Arthur said with a chuckle, exploring Merlin’s body with his hands.
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