but... i... want peace, i cant find it, i cant create it, i cant recreate it. how long?

is there no fucking end to what i must go through? cant i get at least a little fucking peace in life? a little happiness before i get shit on? im a god damned good person, but i guess god damned is the active part in that sentence. i think i treat people well, i may be an ass or joke around too much for some people but overall ( Read more... )

so i quit drinking for awhile, (a few months at least, hopefully) because ive been drinking rather a lot recently. along with this drinking ive been blacking out, driving home and not remembering a lot of the night. this is scary ( Read more... )

i drink several things. most of which make me feel pretty good. i tend to not spend much time doing things i dont enjoy. i love making people happy. im selfish so i do to people as i want them to do to me. so i find it selfish because maybe i do things only to get something in return, but its the persons happiness that makes me happy so that isnt ( Read more... )

its funny how true it is. im done with wow. isnt that amazing? ive spent so much time in that world, its not even funny. but now that im fucking done with it i have no idea what to do with myself. i started drinking coffee more and reading. i also got myself a drawing book and id like to get a digital camera but i would rather steal one. i dont ( Read more... )

i have been so self sacrificial as of late. the last 3 people i cared about. its not easy for me to open up to people right away, i just act crazy/sane and its fine, but sooner or later depending on the person i talk to them. recently it seems that i scare people away because of my opinions of the world. so i cant share who i am? some of the ( Read more... )

to let go of the mistakes of others would make us self centered. to let go of the mistakes of the world would make us utterly alone. so i am weighted.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i dont even want it, i fear it. i want to be mind-numb through restlessness. i dont want to do anything because i fear life. is that true? i should think more before i talk to myself, but i dont really want to haahaha. this is just a sad cry anyway. i can be pretty happy, i can be pretty. i want to connect to people but i just want ( Read more... )

"im such a emo fuck." - A
"go die" - B

life life life, the keys on my keyboard wont help my direction anymore, blurred and half missing letters, w a s d c v are all gone. was the one to leave me so dry the one who cared the most? all such liars to me... cut deeper every time and yet i know the feeling. did i do it myself? these cuts? the emotional scar feels the blade, the same blade ( Read more... )