but how do I connect this to the other aspects of my life ( Read more... )

I'm playing my soccer/butt toy game, and I'm watching two screens of porn, and I'm playing Civ V like never before:

I'm playing a 12-player multiplayer game and I'm playing all the players,

WTF kind of world will result ...

to cancel CockyBoys,

back in May,

but,

I'm glad I didn't :-)

that the butt play is compensation for stress

the problem with therapeutic insights after you have them is that they seem so obvious to everybody else,

like all the people who already knew I was gay,

and all y'all know my coping mechanisms better than I do

That's a tongue twister, say it ten times quickly, "intoxicated soccer cocksucking ( Read more... )

OK, I wasn't entirely truthful about being cock proud before.

I had performance anxiety regarding my cock.  Getting it hard on demand, so that I could fuck people.  Generally, my first time with another guy I wouldn't cum, maybe even didn't get hard.  Finding that --> relaxed but still horny mental space --> in front of another person was difficult ( Read more... )

I think I slowly learned cock dysphoria because I enjoyed my life better while my cock was caged and I wasn't allowed to cum.

Because I enjoy my life better when my cock is caged and I'm not allowed to cum.

I like the FMJ better than my cock

I want the FMJ to become my cock

I want this to be my cock

Because it sheathes my cock, like a knife's sheath,

remember those recent dreams about knives?

my cock would otherwise be a knife,

shit

cock as knife

Where the fuck is this taking me, heh,

having to admit to cock dysphoria is kind of big, and I didn't know it was coming today, but, here I am,

With the chafing, I've not been able to wear it continously.  Now I'm down to a system where I take it off for running, and put it back on after I take a shower.  But I'm running a lot :-)  But with Quarantine the showers may come later, heh, we live like Primitives, I Say!  This has been avoiding the chafing for a while now -- since the last time ( Read more... )