Let's talk about failsafes! I can't believe I'm not flocking this!

[kalpurna]

Let's talk about porn, my darlings! I seem to be in the mood for kinks, for hearing about kinks and talking about kinks and indulging my own

Comments

[brooklinegirl]

you are entirely made of awesome. this is the PERFECT Friday night post.

and okay. I have my general bulletproff kinks (boys in panties, genderfuck, alley sex, car sex), but what you're talking about here? My sure-fire fics? Are the ones where the guys are so fucking turned on, they get off before they're ready for it. Where they come before they can even get in, where they come before they can even get their cock out of their pants.

I didn't even KNOW that before you posted this, but I started thinking of my favorite sex scenes (Ray and Fraser in Anatomically Correct, Fraser coming all over Ray's ass when Ray says to fuck him. Ray and Ray in the canoe fic, Vecchio HAVING TO pull his cock out of his pants and come all over Ray two seconds afterwards, Fraser coming on Ray's face accidently in the Hockey AU) - THESE are the bulletproof ones, the ones I cannot, CANNOT get enough of, and never, ever lose their steam.

Great post - I can't wait to see the rest of teh responses.

[kalpurna]

if I were to make a list of people I thought would approve of this post, you would have been at the TOP OF THE LIST. Which is why I heart you. <3<3<3

Oooh, hey, I like that too! That - wow! See, it's funny, because those scenes you mentioned are crazy hot to me, and it's even maybe a kink of mine, and yet those aren't my sure-fire fics. I have no idea what pushes a scene over the edge from "hot" into "can't get enough," and I think that's so strange and interesting! I want to figure out why! I can't wait for the other responses, too, I'm so curious about which fics do this for people.

I love that fandom lets me be this fascinated by my own (and others') sexual quirks. YAY.

[woo2step]

I haven't really been interested in any fic but dS for some time (over a year? good god), so all of mine are pretty much Six Degrees of Canada fandom.

Watershed by Nifra Idril - F/K, and if I were ever to have something I defined as a bulletproof fic, this would be it and my number one forever and ever. It's almost right on the line of non-con, but not enough to trigger feelings of squick. Just feelings of MMPH.

Blue-Ball Special by glossing - I don't even like Ray/Ray, as a general rule, because I'm one of those "it fucks with my OTP" people. But, man, I love this one. It manages to not preclude the possibility of F/K. So my vague "But ... but ... FRASER" feelings don't dilute the hot for me!

Ego Collision by Lynnmonster - a dS/HCL crossover threesome. Um. Yeah. It's. Yeah.

Apparently the method of getting off doesn't matter to me, as long as it's described in the filthiest, dirtiest way possible. \o/

[brooklinegirl]

hi. yes. I AGREE. omg, "blue-ball special" was, uhm, one of my FAVORITE fantasy fics for, like, a solid MONTH after she posted it. And Ego Collison! god. Okay. I think I need to go re-read BOTH of those. It's the - dirty, forceful, NEEDY getting off in those that KILLS ME.

[kalpurna]

Watershed has one of my favorite verbal/emotional scenes ever, too. The whole bit with Ray saying "you love me" gets to me so much. And god, yes, hotness, all of them - I haven't read the Ray/Ray one, because I am way out on the lunatic fringe of the "it fucks with my OTP" people. SIGH.

[j_s_cavalcante]

OMG, agreed...Watershed is one of the HOTTEST fics ever written. Ever. *fans self*

[kristiinthedark]

Oh, wow. There are so many! Some Strange Prophecy, with the elevator sex (god, I love elevator sex.) Passion, when Fraser is shocked to realize he likes to be fucked, just as much as he likes fucking Ray. BLG's Roughed Up, with Ray coming in his jeans and Fraser being all calm about it, even though he's beyond turned on. Tilt, when Fraser's trying so hard not to come, but Ray kinda makes him, anyway.

Huh. I guess I really love it when orgasm takes them surprise. *nods* That really gets me off.

[brooklinegirl]

you and I are, clearly, the same person. I think people are FEARFUL for what dirty kinky conversations are going to occur when we meet in RL. Dear lord. I love you MADLY. ♥

[kristiinthedark]

CLEARLY. And I, for one, CANNOT WAIT. ♥

[kalpurna]

Oooooh, yes. That is totally one of my kinks too, apparently! God, I love the responses to this post, because my reaction keeps being "Oh, hey, that fic is really hot!" or even "I think I have that kink!" and yet those fics aren't a failsafe for me - they don't always always get me no matter how bored and tired I am. And I have no idea why! Why not those? Why these others? Sexuality is so bizarre and random sometimes.

P.S. Who are Passion and Tilt by? I want to go find and reread them, and I don't remember the authors...

[greyandgrey]

Honestly, I don't have too many of those. Most of the fics I go back to over and over are the ploty ones, whereas when I'm in that kind of a mood, I head over to a porny com, like merry_smutmas or pornish_pixies and look for anything that looks like it's just going to be dirty. I tend to like fics that tiptoe around the line of consent or at least for there to be some animosity between the characters which (since I'm still primarily in HP fandom) tends to lead to a lot of really filthy gryffindor/slytherin rarepair fics (pansy/hermione, blaise/anybody, you get the idea)

What I love is when a writer I love breaks out of her normal pairing, especially when they write a pairing I'm usually uncomfortable with. The only Het I read is written by slash authors, and it is good. emmagrant01 does this more frequently than anybody else I'm aware of, and I LOVE her for it.

[kalpurna]

Huh! That second one is such a meta kink. That's fascinating! When I'm in that kind of mood, I generally don't have the patience to find something new, unless I'm feeling perkier or more investigative than usual, so I tend to fall back on old favorites. Aren't there any porny fics (or porny scenes) that you reread? It seems like it would get so tiring to find a new one every time.

[greyandgrey]

The thing about finding good porn on those comms is that they're really high quality. pixies is invitation only, and smutmas is the largest and most respected holiday fic exchange in HP fandom, so finding good, porny fic there is kinda like shooting fish in a barrel. Plus, they have masterlists classified by pairing and with one line synopses.

like I said, I fall back into the ploty fics. But, a lot of my favourite plotty fics have good sex scenes that I always enjoy. There's the getting-together scene in "Stealing Harry", the blowjob scene in "Left My Heart" (it's extra hot because it's a mindfuck, too), and a good number of others.

[kalpurna]

Yeah, but even if it's good, it might not happen to work for me this time, you know? And the ones I mentioned above pretty much always work. I don't know! Maybe I'm just picky.

Have you been devouring a huge amount of F/K? Dooo iiit. You will thank me. Here, read Academic Punk.

[the_antichris]

I've kind of sort of accidentally memorised that scene in Passion that kristiinthedark was talking about. (It's Speranza, btw. Don't know Tilt, but I'll be for sure coming back for the link.) Fraser's so taken by surprise and it gets right under his defences (the whole fic, really, but omg that scene) and it KILLS ME. Also, it's like the ur-Woobie Fraser, which is the number one way to get me involved and flailing and dying on the floor.

[kalpurna]

There are a whole bunch of scenes like that for me, where I just sort of accidentally know every line by heart. Hee. The link for Tilt is up above, if you're still looking. I am totally going to reread Passion now, aren't I. Sigh. MY LIFE IS SO HARD.

I love the surprise thing. I think the attitude characters have toward the sex they're having is very important to me, maybe. Like they're surprised, or they're desperate, or they're kind of annoyed (this happens a lot in SGA fandom, where there's a lot of fic involving the characters being all huffy and "GOD, FINE, I'll have some really amazing sex, geez."

[shoemaster]

The problem with Tilt is there are at least two, maybe three fics called 'Tilt' in the due South fandom.

In conclusion, titles are BITCHES, porn is hot.