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[kahensenshi]

This is the second time going out with this girl, and the second time that I've come home feeling like I'm about to have some kind of nervous breakdown. The first time also corresponds to the last entry I made here where I was talking about what a useless narcissistic piece of shit I was

Comments

[michie3]

If I'm not allowing myself to be myself... I can relate to that on countless

[kahensenshi]

I agree with all of this. I feel like it's the very normalness and shallowness of ordinary people that make me feel ashamed of myself around them. People generally want to know surface level things at first (what I like to do for fun, how many friends I have, do I have a girlfriend, etc.), and based on those alone I can't imagine how they wouldn't think I'm a loser.

It's really a catch-22...I mean I can't get a girlfriend until I actually like myself, which I can't do until I have a have a girlfriend, and the same with friends, or leading some kind of interesting life, etc.

[burntineffigy]

Keep your head up brah! Avoid the fake bitches and be yourself! I think you have great intellect and you will connect well with someone out there someday!

[kahensenshi]

Thanks man! To be honest it is more of a self-confidence issue than anything. On a conscious level I can reason out that I have a job, I am decent looking, I am an okay guy, but on a deep level I still feel worthless and embarrassed of my lame-ass life. I'm working on it though.

[fanaticnerdism]

"On a conscious level I can reason out that I have a job, I am decent looking, I am an okay guy, but on a deep level I still feel worthless and embarrassed of my lame-ass life. I'm working on it though."

You've summed me up.