Comfort 1/1
TITLE: Comfort
RATING: PG
SYNOPSIS: After Countrycide Ianto and Jack comfort eachother.
You can find all my stories here at my index.
This is Part of a series of missing scene fiction
(story 1) Flirtation
(story 2) Craving
(story 3) Cryptic coffee. part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
(story 4) Monster
(story 5) Choices
It was late and the drive back from the countryside seemed to have taken far longer than the journey there. The atmosphere felt tense; nobody seemed to want to look at anyone and no words had been spoken between the team, except maybe for a goodbye as they left the SUV one by one. Now only Jack and Ianto remained, sitting side by side in the SUV on the short journey from Toshiko's home to Ianto's flat. The rain battered the top of the SUV and rolled down the windows in streams; the windscreen wipers worked as fast as they could but the water still fell quicker than they could clear it.
Jack looked at Ianto out of the corner of his eye as he tried to concentrate on the dark Cardiff roads. The last few days had been a far cry from the team bonding experience that he had planned; it had meant to be a few days out in the wilderness, reconnecting as a team, but it had turned into something very different. He could have never imagined the degree of danger that they had met, and had he suspected it he certainly wouldn't have used it to introduce Ianto to fieldwork. He glanced back over at the Welshman again, he seemed so be so zoned out that Jack wondered if he even realised that they had left the countryside at all. He looked so tired, but every time he seemed to close his eyes he would bolt upright and wince with the pain before letting out a deep breath and refocusing his gaze on his hands. Jack concentrated on the road, turning down a side street and slowed the SUV to a silent crawl as he attempted to navigate his way over the speed bumps without jerking the vehicle too much.
Ianto looked at his wrists, stroking the red marks that the restraints had left; he was tired, but he couldn't sleep, even dozing off against the window led to flashes in his mind of blood and body parts cooling on ice. Ianto knew that he would be drinking a lot of coffee when he got home, anything to keep him awake and stop him from thinking. But nothing could stop him from thinking, except for resting, and rest led to sleep which led to nightmares; he had lived too many nightmares already.
The SUV came to a stop outside Ianto's building and Jack turned to look at the Welshman who still gazed downward in a trance-like state. He didn't even seem to notice that the vehicle had stopped. He stayed silent for a few minutes, absently gazing at his wrists.
“You're home,” Jack said, “It's late but I got you here.”
Ianto stared down saying nothing; he barely reacted to Jack, in fact it didn't even seem like he had heard him at all.
“You can take the next few days off to recover, you look like you could sleep for a year.”
“No.” Ianto suddenly faced Jack, almost startled, then took a deep breath and recovered. “No. I'll be back in tomorrow morning.”
“Nobody is coming in tomorrow, you may as well take some time to rest up and heal a bit before you come back.”
“I have things to do.”
“It can wait.”
Ianto licked the cut on his lip and turned to face Jack, wincing with pain as his body twisted and strained all the bruises. “I don't want to stay at home Jack. I need to be at work.”
Jack nodded. “Okay.”
The Welshman didn't move from the seat, but turned back to his original position and looked out of the windscreen.
“You look shattered.” Jack looked over at him. “You need to sleep.”
“I just need coffee.”
“You need sleep,” Jack repeated, then turned his body to face him, “you'll wear yourself out.”
“I'm fine.”
“If you're fine then why haven't you moved from your seat when we've been sitting here for almost five minutes.”
Ianto released the seatbelt and reached for the door handle. “I didn't know you were in such a hurry to get rid of me.”
Jack locked the doors. “I'm worried about you.”
“I'm fine.”The Welshman looked down again. “Really.”
“Will you stop saying that you're fine when you're obviously not!” Jack almost shouted, then calmed himself down. “You don't need to be okay all of the time.”
Ianto ignored him. “Can I get out now?”
“No. Not until you talk to me.”
“Then you're going to be sitting here a long time.”
“I'm worried about you Ianto, you're so withdrawn it's like you don't even hear me.”
Ianto sighed. “Jack. In one day I have been hunted, kidnapped, imprisoned, threatened, beaten, tenderised and had a meat cleaver held to my throat; is it any wonder that I have nothing else on my mind but that?”
“Ianto--”
“I can't close my eyes without thinking of that place.” Ianto stared into Jack, looking through him rather than at him. “My mind won't let me forget the things I saw.”
Jack reached out and touched Ianto's hand. “Everything will be okay now.”
“I saw body parts in fridges, fingers and toes stuffed into jars with vinegar and crunching bones going through mincing machines; there were whole bodies wrapped in polythene and bound with rope, hung upside down and barely breathing just waiting for someone to give them some kind of release just by killing them.” he looked down and wiped his eyes stubbornly with the back of his hand when he felt a tear roll onto his hand. “Just tell me Jack, how the hell is that ever okay?”
“You're alive.” Jack shifted closer to him and rested his hand on Ianto's neck. “It's okay because we stopped it now and you're safe.”
“I keep thinking, will it ever stop?” Ianto asked, “will I ever be able to live my life without everything going wrong?”
“Things sometimes get worse before they get better.”
“Haven't I been through enough Jack?” Ianto softened his gaze as he looked at him, swallowing hard to force down the lump in his throat. “How many nightmares do I have to live through before I can sleep?” He tried to ignore the heat that was building behind his eyes, but he felt his voice cracking as he spoke. “The only way I can escape my life is to sleep, but how can I sleep when every time I close my eyes all I see is my nightmares.”
“I wish I could take them away,” Jack said sadly. He stroked the Welshman's Jaw with his thumb and pressed their heads together. “All I want to do is make it stop but I can't.”
“I could make them stop if I had the strength.” Ianto turned to look out the window, moving Jack's hand away from his face. “It's pathetic really.”
“It's not. You've really been through the mill recently.” His fingers reached for Ianto's face again and felt the moisture on his cheek. He turned him back to face him and wiped the tears away with his fingers; he met his eyes and lay his hand on his face, feeling the hot tears as they ran between his fingers. “I'm proud of you for surviving without self-destructing. Weaker men have given in for much less than this and giving up now would be a waste. Things will get better, they might get worse first, but I promise you that they will get better.”
“I would be okay if I could make it through the nights,” Ianto said, leaning into Jacks hand as it caressed away the moisture that tumbled down his cheek. “The days are hard, but they're okay; I'm busy and they fall to the back of my mind. But at night it's dark and I have nothing to do but think; I wake up and I'm screaming with the visions of my past and there's nobody there. There's never anybody there Jack.”
“You never have to worry about being alone.” Jack's voice was low and clear as he ran his thumb over the Welshman's lips idly. “I will always be here for you. I'm your friend and I will never leave you.”
“It doesn't stop me being scared.”
Jack said nothing for a moment, but licked his lips and contemplated his words for a moment. “Let me help you make it through the night.” Jack felt the Welshman's fingers as they raked through his hair, slightly gripping the edges, pulling him closer. “I'll come upstairs with you. I'll come to bed with you and wrap myself around you so that when you wake I'll be there. And if you cry I'll kiss away your tears before they have a chance to fall.”
“You don't need to--” Ianto lost the power of speech and inhaled deeply when he felt the older man's lips move towards him.
Jack cupped Ianto's face and pressed his lips against his cheek, catching a tear and kissing it away softly.
“Let me, please.” Jack's breath heated the younger man's skin for a moment and he felt him take an breath and swallow something in his throat. “I almost lost you today.” Jack kissed away another tumbling tear and held back his own. “Now I just want to be with you. I want to watch you and touch you and know that you're still here. I never thought that I needed you.”
Jack let his lips hover for a moment, frozen in the heat, unable to move for fear of losing it; Ianto's hands moved from his hair and held his face. He pulled away a little and swallowed nervously, wetting his lips with his tongue; he kissed him softly at first, barely brushing his lips then pulled away.
“I'm still here.”
Their mouths hovered a breath away from each other, close enough to taste.
“Show me again.”
Jack guided Ianto's mouth towards his, meeting his lips; his hands pulled him closer, tangling in his hair and pressing their lips together. He deepened it, moaning softly into the Welshman's mouth as his body leaned into him, trying not to dominate.
Ianto was holding back, gripping Jack's greatcoat with his fingers, desperately trying to stay in control. His hands gathered fistfuls of material from the heavy woollen lapels and pulled Jack a little closer to him before wrapping his arms around his back. The urge to let his mouth stray from the older man's lips was almost unbearable, the need to kiss his neck and touch the soft skin underneath his white cotton under-shirt was getting tough and he moaned into his mouth, increasing the pressure a little.
Jack's hands slid to his chest and ran slowly down his body until they reached the Welshman's stomach, then stopped himself and returned his hands to the safety of his neck. He let his fingers trail down the skin then slide underneath his shirt to his shoulders; he wanted to kiss Ianto's bruises and trail his cuts with his tongue, he wanted to see just what damage the clothing was hiding and soothe the pain away with his kisses. He couldn't.
Ianto pulled Jack closer, dragging him over the handbrake a little; the older man pushed him back against the comfortable seat and twisted his fingers around in his hair, pulling at the edges slightly. It was getting dangerously close to getting out of control; the heat in the kiss was getting addictive and Ianto stopped himself from sliding his hands down Jack's braces and unfastening them. He pushed Jack away softly, and rested their foreheads against each other whilst their breathing recovered, going back to his lips for another soft kiss. He pushed the older man away gently again and gripped his face between his hands.
“Sleep well Jack.” Ianto lowered Jack's face and planted a kiss on his forehead; he got out of the SUV and walked through the rain towards the doorway leaving Jack alone, touching his lips as he watched him go.
RATING: PG
SYNOPSIS: After Countrycide Ianto and Jack comfort eachother.
You can find all my stories here at my index.
This is Part of a series of missing scene fiction
(story 1) Flirtation
(story 2) Craving
(story 3) Cryptic coffee. part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
(story 4) Monster
(story 5) Choices
It was late and the drive back from the countryside seemed to have taken far longer than the journey there. The atmosphere felt tense; nobody seemed to want to look at anyone and no words had been spoken between the team, except maybe for a goodbye as they left the SUV one by one. Now only Jack and Ianto remained, sitting side by side in the SUV on the short journey from Toshiko's home to Ianto's flat. The rain battered the top of the SUV and rolled down the windows in streams; the windscreen wipers worked as fast as they could but the water still fell quicker than they could clear it.
Jack looked at Ianto out of the corner of his eye as he tried to concentrate on the dark Cardiff roads. The last few days had been a far cry from the team bonding experience that he had planned; it had meant to be a few days out in the wilderness, reconnecting as a team, but it had turned into something very different. He could have never imagined the degree of danger that they had met, and had he suspected it he certainly wouldn't have used it to introduce Ianto to fieldwork. He glanced back over at the Welshman again, he seemed so be so zoned out that Jack wondered if he even realised that they had left the countryside at all. He looked so tired, but every time he seemed to close his eyes he would bolt upright and wince with the pain before letting out a deep breath and refocusing his gaze on his hands. Jack concentrated on the road, turning down a side street and slowed the SUV to a silent crawl as he attempted to navigate his way over the speed bumps without jerking the vehicle too much.
Ianto looked at his wrists, stroking the red marks that the restraints had left; he was tired, but he couldn't sleep, even dozing off against the window led to flashes in his mind of blood and body parts cooling on ice. Ianto knew that he would be drinking a lot of coffee when he got home, anything to keep him awake and stop him from thinking. But nothing could stop him from thinking, except for resting, and rest led to sleep which led to nightmares; he had lived too many nightmares already.
The SUV came to a stop outside Ianto's building and Jack turned to look at the Welshman who still gazed downward in a trance-like state. He didn't even seem to notice that the vehicle had stopped. He stayed silent for a few minutes, absently gazing at his wrists.
“You're home,” Jack said, “It's late but I got you here.”
Ianto stared down saying nothing; he barely reacted to Jack, in fact it didn't even seem like he had heard him at all.
“You can take the next few days off to recover, you look like you could sleep for a year.”
“No.” Ianto suddenly faced Jack, almost startled, then took a deep breath and recovered. “No. I'll be back in tomorrow morning.”
“Nobody is coming in tomorrow, you may as well take some time to rest up and heal a bit before you come back.”
“I have things to do.”
“It can wait.”
Ianto licked the cut on his lip and turned to face Jack, wincing with pain as his body twisted and strained all the bruises. “I don't want to stay at home Jack. I need to be at work.”
Jack nodded. “Okay.”
The Welshman didn't move from the seat, but turned back to his original position and looked out of the windscreen.
“You look shattered.” Jack looked over at him. “You need to sleep.”
“I just need coffee.”
“You need sleep,” Jack repeated, then turned his body to face him, “you'll wear yourself out.”
“I'm fine.”
“If you're fine then why haven't you moved from your seat when we've been sitting here for almost five minutes.”
Ianto released the seatbelt and reached for the door handle. “I didn't know you were in such a hurry to get rid of me.”
Jack locked the doors. “I'm worried about you.”
“I'm fine.”The Welshman looked down again. “Really.”
“Will you stop saying that you're fine when you're obviously not!” Jack almost shouted, then calmed himself down. “You don't need to be okay all of the time.”
Ianto ignored him. “Can I get out now?”
“No. Not until you talk to me.”
“Then you're going to be sitting here a long time.”
“I'm worried about you Ianto, you're so withdrawn it's like you don't even hear me.”
Ianto sighed. “Jack. In one day I have been hunted, kidnapped, imprisoned, threatened, beaten, tenderised and had a meat cleaver held to my throat; is it any wonder that I have nothing else on my mind but that?”
“Ianto--”
“I can't close my eyes without thinking of that place.” Ianto stared into Jack, looking through him rather than at him. “My mind won't let me forget the things I saw.”
Jack reached out and touched Ianto's hand. “Everything will be okay now.”
“I saw body parts in fridges, fingers and toes stuffed into jars with vinegar and crunching bones going through mincing machines; there were whole bodies wrapped in polythene and bound with rope, hung upside down and barely breathing just waiting for someone to give them some kind of release just by killing them.” he looked down and wiped his eyes stubbornly with the back of his hand when he felt a tear roll onto his hand. “Just tell me Jack, how the hell is that ever okay?”
“You're alive.” Jack shifted closer to him and rested his hand on Ianto's neck. “It's okay because we stopped it now and you're safe.”
“I keep thinking, will it ever stop?” Ianto asked, “will I ever be able to live my life without everything going wrong?”
“Things sometimes get worse before they get better.”
“Haven't I been through enough Jack?” Ianto softened his gaze as he looked at him, swallowing hard to force down the lump in his throat. “How many nightmares do I have to live through before I can sleep?” He tried to ignore the heat that was building behind his eyes, but he felt his voice cracking as he spoke. “The only way I can escape my life is to sleep, but how can I sleep when every time I close my eyes all I see is my nightmares.”
“I wish I could take them away,” Jack said sadly. He stroked the Welshman's Jaw with his thumb and pressed their heads together. “All I want to do is make it stop but I can't.”
“I could make them stop if I had the strength.” Ianto turned to look out the window, moving Jack's hand away from his face. “It's pathetic really.”
“It's not. You've really been through the mill recently.” His fingers reached for Ianto's face again and felt the moisture on his cheek. He turned him back to face him and wiped the tears away with his fingers; he met his eyes and lay his hand on his face, feeling the hot tears as they ran between his fingers. “I'm proud of you for surviving without self-destructing. Weaker men have given in for much less than this and giving up now would be a waste. Things will get better, they might get worse first, but I promise you that they will get better.”
“I would be okay if I could make it through the nights,” Ianto said, leaning into Jacks hand as it caressed away the moisture that tumbled down his cheek. “The days are hard, but they're okay; I'm busy and they fall to the back of my mind. But at night it's dark and I have nothing to do but think; I wake up and I'm screaming with the visions of my past and there's nobody there. There's never anybody there Jack.”
“You never have to worry about being alone.” Jack's voice was low and clear as he ran his thumb over the Welshman's lips idly. “I will always be here for you. I'm your friend and I will never leave you.”
“It doesn't stop me being scared.”
Jack said nothing for a moment, but licked his lips and contemplated his words for a moment. “Let me help you make it through the night.” Jack felt the Welshman's fingers as they raked through his hair, slightly gripping the edges, pulling him closer. “I'll come upstairs with you. I'll come to bed with you and wrap myself around you so that when you wake I'll be there. And if you cry I'll kiss away your tears before they have a chance to fall.”
“You don't need to--” Ianto lost the power of speech and inhaled deeply when he felt the older man's lips move towards him.
Jack cupped Ianto's face and pressed his lips against his cheek, catching a tear and kissing it away softly.
“Let me, please.” Jack's breath heated the younger man's skin for a moment and he felt him take an breath and swallow something in his throat. “I almost lost you today.” Jack kissed away another tumbling tear and held back his own. “Now I just want to be with you. I want to watch you and touch you and know that you're still here. I never thought that I needed you.”
Jack let his lips hover for a moment, frozen in the heat, unable to move for fear of losing it; Ianto's hands moved from his hair and held his face. He pulled away a little and swallowed nervously, wetting his lips with his tongue; he kissed him softly at first, barely brushing his lips then pulled away.
“I'm still here.”
Their mouths hovered a breath away from each other, close enough to taste.
“Show me again.”
Jack guided Ianto's mouth towards his, meeting his lips; his hands pulled him closer, tangling in his hair and pressing their lips together. He deepened it, moaning softly into the Welshman's mouth as his body leaned into him, trying not to dominate.
Ianto was holding back, gripping Jack's greatcoat with his fingers, desperately trying to stay in control. His hands gathered fistfuls of material from the heavy woollen lapels and pulled Jack a little closer to him before wrapping his arms around his back. The urge to let his mouth stray from the older man's lips was almost unbearable, the need to kiss his neck and touch the soft skin underneath his white cotton under-shirt was getting tough and he moaned into his mouth, increasing the pressure a little.
Jack's hands slid to his chest and ran slowly down his body until they reached the Welshman's stomach, then stopped himself and returned his hands to the safety of his neck. He let his fingers trail down the skin then slide underneath his shirt to his shoulders; he wanted to kiss Ianto's bruises and trail his cuts with his tongue, he wanted to see just what damage the clothing was hiding and soothe the pain away with his kisses. He couldn't.
Ianto pulled Jack closer, dragging him over the handbrake a little; the older man pushed him back against the comfortable seat and twisted his fingers around in his hair, pulling at the edges slightly. It was getting dangerously close to getting out of control; the heat in the kiss was getting addictive and Ianto stopped himself from sliding his hands down Jack's braces and unfastening them. He pushed Jack away softly, and rested their foreheads against each other whilst their breathing recovered, going back to his lips for another soft kiss. He pushed the older man away gently again and gripped his face between his hands.
“Sleep well Jack.” Ianto lowered Jack's face and planted a kiss on his forehead; he got out of the SUV and walked through the rain towards the doorway leaving Jack alone, touching his lips as he watched him go.