Choices - 1/1
TITLE: Choices
RATING: PG
SYNOPSIS: After Small Worlds Jack comtemplates whether he's been making the right choices.
You can find all my stories here at my index.
This is Part of a series of missing scene fiction
(story 1) Flirtation
(story 2) Craving
(story 3) Cryptic coffee. part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
(story 4) Monster
Jack looked down at his desk and continued to sift through the mountain of paperwork that was taking it over. It was late, and Jack couldn't see anything other than the area that the lamp gave light to; his eyes were starting to hurt from the strain and every word seemed to have two layers to it. A light taping on the door caused Jack to look up and gaze at the Welshman who stood there.
“I thought everyone had gone home.” Jack looked up at him and then back down to his work. “I really hope you haven't come to offer me a lecture on humanity.”
“No.”
“Good. Thanks.”
Ianto walked into the room and placed a folder on the desk in front of him. “I was just finishing off the finance update. Owen's been splashing out a lot recently on the Torchwood credit card; six hundred pounds in two weeks on witness interviews, I'm not so sure I believe him.”
“Thanks for telling me, I'll talk to him tomorrow.”
Ianto stood in front of Jack for a moment of silence before turning towards the door. “Goodnight.”
"Ianto?” Jack called him back . “Do you have anything planned for tonight?”
“And what exactly would I have planned? It's not as if I have anyone to go home to.” Ianto's voice came out harsher than he had wished it to and he closed his eyes tightly before shaking his head and reopening them. He focussed on Jack and gave him an apologetic look. “I'm sorry.”
Jack stood and picked up the decanter of whiskey, pouring out two drinks. “Stay and have a drink with me.” He walked across the room and handed one to him, then sat back behind his desk and gestured to the seat opposite. "Ten minutes.”
Ianto sat down and sat up straight in the chair, looking down into the liquid his glass, swirling it around a little for amusement; the silence was uncomfortable and remained unbroken for a few moments until he heard the sound of the decanter's stopper being removed and whiskey being poured out. He looked across the desk at Jack who replaced the stopper and slid the heavy crystal object over the desk.
“Are you a man who keeps his promises Ianto?” Jack's gaze was curious, almost as if he was trying to figure him out for the first time.
“Always.”
Jack leaned across the desk and took Ianto's empty glass, topping it up before sliding it back across to him. “So when you promised me that you wouldn't lie to me again you meant it?”
“Yes, sir.”
“So if I asked you for a truthful opinion you would give it to me?”
Ianto nodded. “Of course.”
The older man took a deep breath and leaned further across the table, looking directly at Ianto who avoided his gaze. “Did I do the right thing today?”
“You're asking the wrong person. I wasn't there.”
“You heard an account of it though, you must have an opinion.”
Ianto licked his lips and downed the liquid in his glass before placing it down gently on the table. “What was your choice Jack? Really?” Ianto asked. “Let her go and know that you caused her mother an inconsolable amount of pain, or let let the world suffer? That's not a choice, it's an ultimatum.”
“Was it right?” Jack asked.
“Why are you asking me?”
Jack refilled his glass for the third time and crossed his arms, leaning on the table as he looked over at the Welshman. “Well, you're the only one who hasn't been treating me like a leper.”
“I haven't had time; I've been too busy trying to decipher handwriting on expense claim forms for the last two days.”
Jack smiled a little. “Y'know, you might not lie but you're a master in the art of sidestepping the truth.”
“The truth is that I don't know so I can't help you with your conscience.” He finished his drink and stood up, making his way out. “Thanks for the drink.”
Ianto stopped when he reached the door and leaned on the frame for a moment. He licked his bottom lip and then walked back into the room. “What do you think?”
The older man looked up a little startled. “What?”
“Would you say that you did the right thing?”
“Yes, I would.”
“Then why bother asking me when you know the answer?”
“I took a child away from its mother,” Jack said, “she's never going to see it as the right thing.”
“When you do the right thing then someone is always going to get hurt.” Ianto looked at Jack who rested his forehead on the desk. “You did the right thing today, just like you always do.”
Jack looked up at him. “I don't recall you always agreeing with that.”
Ianto said nothing for a moment, but poured himself a drink; he drank it in one and them put it down before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Jack, I loved Lisa and every day I come in early and go home late just so that I don't have to be on my own, but even I can see that you did the right thing the day you took her away from me.”
Jack pushed himself away from his desk and stood up, leaning on the edge. “Is that your way of telling me that you don't hate me?”
“Hating is too easy; forgiving is much harder,” Ianto said, “I like a challenge.”
Jack smiled a little. “You always said you weren't easy, I just didn't realise you were so complicated.”
“Well my life is complicated,” Ianto sighed, “more complicated now than I think it's ever been before; I have a boss who doesn't trust me, a heart that won't mend and three workmates that look at me like I have two heads.”
“Your life isn't as complicated as you think.” Jack walked towards him and stopped a few feet away. “I do trust you and the others will get over it when the next big thing happens. As for your heart, you loved Lisa and you'll never really get over losing her.”
“That would be fine if losing her was the only reason for it. It was broken in two directions by two different people; one who I'll never see again, and one who I have to stare in the face every day.”
Jack looked him in the eyes for a moment, until Ianto stepped back and turned away from him.
“I should go now,” Ianto said suddenly, “long day tomorrow. There's all those reports to finish and it looks like Myfanwy's netting could do with some patching up.”
Jack caught his hand as he started to walk away. “This is no picnic for me either; it's not like I finished things between us then suddenly forgot how much you meant to me.” Jack moved closer to the Welshman, pressing himself against his back a little and letting his lips hover a breath away from his neck.
“If I remember correctly when I asked you to tell me you cared about me you refused.” Ianto sounded hurt, and his voice cracked a little before he straightened his back and took a breath. “I told you that I cared and you gave me nothing back.”
“I was angry.” Jack turned Ianto to face him but he moved away and refused to meet his eyes. “You can't even look at me any more. Do you know how much it hurts when you turn away?”
“I would guess about as much as when you look at me.” He walked away. “It's not hat I can't look at you Jack, it's that it hurts when I do.”
The room fell silent for a moment before Jack's voice filtered softly through the room again and he moved to stand behind Ianto, putting his hands on his arms that hung by his side. “It's not like I can stop looking at you.”
“You could stop looking at me as if nothing has changed between us.”
“Maybe that's because in my heart it hasn't.”
Ianto looked over his shoulder for a moment, almost meeting Jack's lips then moved swiftly towards the door. “I have to go.”
The older man pursued him out into the main hub area and stood behind him as he collected his coat off the back of a chair. “Just because I finished things between us it doesn't mean that I don't care; I was angry and I felt betrayed, in my mind I knew that i couldn't touch you without thinking of what you had done and that you couldn't touch me without remembering what I had done.”
“So what the hell am I meant to do?” Ianto asked, turning to face him.
“What do you want to do?”
Ianto contemplated a moment and licked his lips. “I'm going home,” he said, “Goodnight Jack.”
RATING: PG
SYNOPSIS: After Small Worlds Jack comtemplates whether he's been making the right choices.
You can find all my stories here at my index.
This is Part of a series of missing scene fiction
(story 1) Flirtation
(story 2) Craving
(story 3) Cryptic coffee. part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
(story 4) Monster
Jack looked down at his desk and continued to sift through the mountain of paperwork that was taking it over. It was late, and Jack couldn't see anything other than the area that the lamp gave light to; his eyes were starting to hurt from the strain and every word seemed to have two layers to it. A light taping on the door caused Jack to look up and gaze at the Welshman who stood there.
“I thought everyone had gone home.” Jack looked up at him and then back down to his work. “I really hope you haven't come to offer me a lecture on humanity.”
“No.”
“Good. Thanks.”
Ianto walked into the room and placed a folder on the desk in front of him. “I was just finishing off the finance update. Owen's been splashing out a lot recently on the Torchwood credit card; six hundred pounds in two weeks on witness interviews, I'm not so sure I believe him.”
“Thanks for telling me, I'll talk to him tomorrow.”
Ianto stood in front of Jack for a moment of silence before turning towards the door. “Goodnight.”
"Ianto?” Jack called him back . “Do you have anything planned for tonight?”
“And what exactly would I have planned? It's not as if I have anyone to go home to.” Ianto's voice came out harsher than he had wished it to and he closed his eyes tightly before shaking his head and reopening them. He focussed on Jack and gave him an apologetic look. “I'm sorry.”
Jack stood and picked up the decanter of whiskey, pouring out two drinks. “Stay and have a drink with me.” He walked across the room and handed one to him, then sat back behind his desk and gestured to the seat opposite. "Ten minutes.”
Ianto sat down and sat up straight in the chair, looking down into the liquid his glass, swirling it around a little for amusement; the silence was uncomfortable and remained unbroken for a few moments until he heard the sound of the decanter's stopper being removed and whiskey being poured out. He looked across the desk at Jack who replaced the stopper and slid the heavy crystal object over the desk.
“Are you a man who keeps his promises Ianto?” Jack's gaze was curious, almost as if he was trying to figure him out for the first time.
“Always.”
Jack leaned across the desk and took Ianto's empty glass, topping it up before sliding it back across to him. “So when you promised me that you wouldn't lie to me again you meant it?”
“Yes, sir.”
“So if I asked you for a truthful opinion you would give it to me?”
Ianto nodded. “Of course.”
The older man took a deep breath and leaned further across the table, looking directly at Ianto who avoided his gaze. “Did I do the right thing today?”
“You're asking the wrong person. I wasn't there.”
“You heard an account of it though, you must have an opinion.”
Ianto licked his lips and downed the liquid in his glass before placing it down gently on the table. “What was your choice Jack? Really?” Ianto asked. “Let her go and know that you caused her mother an inconsolable amount of pain, or let let the world suffer? That's not a choice, it's an ultimatum.”
“Was it right?” Jack asked.
“Why are you asking me?”
Jack refilled his glass for the third time and crossed his arms, leaning on the table as he looked over at the Welshman. “Well, you're the only one who hasn't been treating me like a leper.”
“I haven't had time; I've been too busy trying to decipher handwriting on expense claim forms for the last two days.”
Jack smiled a little. “Y'know, you might not lie but you're a master in the art of sidestepping the truth.”
“The truth is that I don't know so I can't help you with your conscience.” He finished his drink and stood up, making his way out. “Thanks for the drink.”
Ianto stopped when he reached the door and leaned on the frame for a moment. He licked his bottom lip and then walked back into the room. “What do you think?”
The older man looked up a little startled. “What?”
“Would you say that you did the right thing?”
“Yes, I would.”
“Then why bother asking me when you know the answer?”
“I took a child away from its mother,” Jack said, “she's never going to see it as the right thing.”
“When you do the right thing then someone is always going to get hurt.” Ianto looked at Jack who rested his forehead on the desk. “You did the right thing today, just like you always do.”
Jack looked up at him. “I don't recall you always agreeing with that.”
Ianto said nothing for a moment, but poured himself a drink; he drank it in one and them put it down before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Jack, I loved Lisa and every day I come in early and go home late just so that I don't have to be on my own, but even I can see that you did the right thing the day you took her away from me.”
Jack pushed himself away from his desk and stood up, leaning on the edge. “Is that your way of telling me that you don't hate me?”
“Hating is too easy; forgiving is much harder,” Ianto said, “I like a challenge.”
Jack smiled a little. “You always said you weren't easy, I just didn't realise you were so complicated.”
“Well my life is complicated,” Ianto sighed, “more complicated now than I think it's ever been before; I have a boss who doesn't trust me, a heart that won't mend and three workmates that look at me like I have two heads.”
“Your life isn't as complicated as you think.” Jack walked towards him and stopped a few feet away. “I do trust you and the others will get over it when the next big thing happens. As for your heart, you loved Lisa and you'll never really get over losing her.”
“That would be fine if losing her was the only reason for it. It was broken in two directions by two different people; one who I'll never see again, and one who I have to stare in the face every day.”
Jack looked him in the eyes for a moment, until Ianto stepped back and turned away from him.
“I should go now,” Ianto said suddenly, “long day tomorrow. There's all those reports to finish and it looks like Myfanwy's netting could do with some patching up.”
Jack caught his hand as he started to walk away. “This is no picnic for me either; it's not like I finished things between us then suddenly forgot how much you meant to me.” Jack moved closer to the Welshman, pressing himself against his back a little and letting his lips hover a breath away from his neck.
“If I remember correctly when I asked you to tell me you cared about me you refused.” Ianto sounded hurt, and his voice cracked a little before he straightened his back and took a breath. “I told you that I cared and you gave me nothing back.”
“I was angry.” Jack turned Ianto to face him but he moved away and refused to meet his eyes. “You can't even look at me any more. Do you know how much it hurts when you turn away?”
“I would guess about as much as when you look at me.” He walked away. “It's not hat I can't look at you Jack, it's that it hurts when I do.”
The room fell silent for a moment before Jack's voice filtered softly through the room again and he moved to stand behind Ianto, putting his hands on his arms that hung by his side. “It's not like I can stop looking at you.”
“You could stop looking at me as if nothing has changed between us.”
“Maybe that's because in my heart it hasn't.”
Ianto looked over his shoulder for a moment, almost meeting Jack's lips then moved swiftly towards the door. “I have to go.”
The older man pursued him out into the main hub area and stood behind him as he collected his coat off the back of a chair. “Just because I finished things between us it doesn't mean that I don't care; I was angry and I felt betrayed, in my mind I knew that i couldn't touch you without thinking of what you had done and that you couldn't touch me without remembering what I had done.”
“So what the hell am I meant to do?” Ianto asked, turning to face him.
“What do you want to do?”
Ianto contemplated a moment and licked his lips. “I'm going home,” he said, “Goodnight Jack.”