im writing this here cuz no one i kno reads this, if anyone at all and i dont want to be ms negativity on facebook............but FUCK!!  so im doing everything im supposed to, going to therapy, working with that job placement program.  my son is with me most of the time now.  im following all these rules i freaking hate because i know they are ( Read more... )

i want to be happy but for some reason i set myself up to not be happy......or else the wrong things make me happy.  ive been on a "diet" and tried on some clothes yesterday that hadnt fit a week or two ago at all and now they fit.  THIS makes me incredibly happy, but i know the way i go about it is wrong.  good ol friends, ED are back.....my ( Read more... )

all humans are guilty of judging others.  its just how we work.  we meet people and form opinions about them.  we know people and form opinions on their actions.  to say DONT JUDGE is pretty much silly because we do it automatically.  where the trick lies is in how we then react to our judgement.  i am guilty of passing judgement i am sure.  i try ( Read more... )

so im frustrated with a handfull of people but there are just time and situations its best to keep your mouth shut.....since that is virtually impossible, im gonna give some fuck offs (kinda like shout outs only unhappy!) here, none of the people should read this anyway, but itll feel good getting it off my chest ( Read more... )

all i want.....really when it comes down to it......is peace in my brain.  its so odd to appear normal, be able to present yourself as normal but then inside your own head you feel like youre five seconds away from a bottomless cliffdive. i have no valid reason to feel so fucked up.  i mean we all have issues, duh, but my life isnt any worse than ( Read more... )

my anxiety is going ape shit right now and i dont know what triggered it.  ive had a good day n night so i dont know.  it sucks though, i feel an impending sense of doom.  i get so sick of this, its like people with other health problems....if you have certain chronic illnesses, they just hang over your head all the time, like if you are diabetic ( Read more... )

so me n a friend went to see the movie silent house......im still looking for a movie to truly scare me.......the first time i saw the unborn it creeped me, paranormal activity 2 had me goin pretty good, insidious has some good creepiness but i just cant get scared.  this movie didnt scare me.  i generally liked it.  HATED the ending.  i dont like ( Read more... )

movie............tomorrow going with a friend(s) to see silent house, yay ( Read more... )

me...................i hate this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   i had some hamburger helper velveeta stuff yesterday but other than that its just diet dr pepper cherry.  dont gimme that your metabolism will slow you need to eat........its simple science...........yes your metabolism will slow when not intaking any calories butttttt all physical ( Read more... )

im getting sick of something.......i have a lot of friends who do one of the following......complain they never see me enough or complain they dont have friends/anything to do etc...........yet here i sit alone.  i was actually supposed to have plans with a friend today and hes obviously blowing me off. i dont get it, if youre pretending to like me ( Read more... )