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Elusive hugs
I didn't immediately remember what reminded me of hugs. It was something I was watching on Netflix, I guess. I felt that the main character needed a hug. She'd had a hard time, some bad news, and a difficult loss- all in a short period of time ( Read more... ) -
E.
"As we enter the house, I have my eye on my father. Something is going to happen. I can feel it. He pushes past us, and I watch him hurry through the small living room to the backdoor and step outside. The vision of him moving through the house with haste and intention is similar to how I had witnessed him some months earlier when an overstuffed ( Read more... ) -
ECT day 6
So today was the day that they upped the voltage of my treatments because they had not been effective thus far. Immediately after the treatment I realized something was different because my head was sore, when it hasn't been after the previous sessions. I realized later when I went in to work to get ready for tomorrow that I am having major ( Read more... ) -
ECT day 5
It's sad when the highlight of your day is, "I didn't mess myself this time!" I continue to be awed at the short-acting anesthesia. They tell me I'm done and I am simply in disbelief. I've begun to like the feeling of going under ( Read more... ) -
ECT day 4
Again- nothing new to report except that the ECT made me pee myself a bit this time despite the fact that I went to the bathroom right before treatment as usual. Thrillsville. I didn't notice it until I got home. Two more treatments until they ratchet up the voltage if it doesn't start working. It's definitely not working. I hate myself and wish I ( Read more... ) -
ECT day 3
There's really not much to say. I'm not experiencing any benefit yet. I've read it takes at least 6-8 treatments but the nurse and doctor seemed disappointed when I said nothing's happening yet. Pretty much like my experience with antidepressants- no good effects, no bad effects. Took a 3 hour walk after my nap. Next appointment is Friday. -
ECT day 2
Cosmo picked me up earlier than intended so we arrived about an hour early. They took me in not too long after we got there. Today's treatment went the same as last time. I was afraid it would be worse now that we're using the full voltage. I was told that there would probably be more confusion than last time. Nope. I feel perfectly normal (or what ( Read more... ) -
ECT day 1
(Note: This is a long post because it encompasses three days worth of new experiences. Subsequent updates should be shorter ( Read more... ) -
ECT- hurry up and wait
I got scheduled for my initial evaluation for ECT on the "next available appointment" which happens to be March 18th.
When someone is desperate enough to have electricity shot through her brain for a chance at successfully treating severe depression and suicidal ideation, you'd think there'd be a certain urgency to the matter, but apparently not. -
Testing, testing
I can't believe it's been over 2 years since I've posted in Livejournal. Everybody fled to Facebook and left LJ with only a few lone survivors ( Read more... )