ECT day 1
(Note: This is a long post because it encompasses three days worth of new experiences. Subsequent updates should be shorter.)
On Tuesday March 18, I had the appointment with the ECT consultant physician (Dr. Collier) who confirmed my shrink's diagnosis and recommendation for ECT. With the nearly complete failure of antidepressants for me over more than 20 years, he said that ECT was my best chance at some form of recovery. Because I have been acutely suicidal these last two weeks and because I have been burning so much sick leave waiting for his appointment, rather than waiting for me to set up and attend various medical appointments which could take months to complete, he gave orders to have me admitted to the hospital to have all necessary labs and tests done all at once ASAP- on Wednesday and Thursday with the plan to have my first treatment on Friday. Excellent!
My stay at the hospital (which is a psychiatric hospital) was interesting. They didn't have any beds in the "mood disorders" wing, so I stayed in the detox wing. I met some nice alcoholics and drug addicts there. Except for the fact that I was not allowed to have any electronic devices, make-up, curling iron, or hair dryer- and the fact that the second night I was there there I got a roommate that snored like a buzz-saw- I had a pretty nice stay. It was mostly boring but I read and socialized with folks in the TV room. My labs, tests, and meetings with the head ECT doctor (Garcia) and social worker (Wally) all went smoothly. I even enjoyed the food.
Early this morning (Friday or Fry-day!) I was gathered and ushered to the ECT floor. Most accounts I've read on ECT said that the ECT section is usually in the basement of a hospital and therefore is a bit gloomy. Not at Seton Shoal Creek- the offices and treatment area were on the 3rd floor and were nicely lit and decorated. Everyone attending to me- the ECT nurses, the anesthesiologist, and the ECT doctor (Brown) were all extremely friendly.
I was placed on a gurney and was fitted with electrodes on my chest for the EKG and on my head for the EEG- tests that monitor heart function and brain waves during the treatment. An IV was placed in my hand (after it was numbed) by the anesthesiologist for delivery of the drugs to briefly knock me out so I wouldn't feel the shock or the ensuing seizure. I was also given muscle relaxers so that my body wouldn't convulse during the seizure. The needle sticks weren't that bad. The whole time the staff was joking, smiling and telling me exactly what was going at every moment. Seconds after the anesthesia drugs were injected, I felt myself going under and said "Here it goes!" From my perspective there was a very short lull in conversation and then they were saying "It's over!" I had no perception of the ECT having happened or that any time had passed. I felt no different. It was the weirdest thing. I was told that I had a good seizure- something that seems odd to say/hear. I had an apple juice in the adjoining recovery room (which unlike descriptions of recovery rooms being a line of many people also waiting to recover, had just two beds and I was the only person there) and was ready to go.
I felt great afterwards. I did not have any of the headache, jaw/neck/throat pain that I was warned about. I was not dizzy or unsteady at all. I did not feel "hit by a truck." I did not experience any memory loss or confusion after this treatment. (Dr. Garcia warned me, "You might remember talking to a bald guy in a yellow shirt but you probably won't remember who I was or my name.") I was actually really elated after it was done- not because the one treatment could have helped my depression yet (they say it usually takes about 6 treatments to have a good response) but because all of the anxiety I had about the procedure was gone (and because I got to go home!) I totally could have driven afterwards but it's required that someone else do so for me. So luckily my friend Cosmo (who works for Apple part-time from home) volunteered to do it for me.
So now I will be having ECT treatments every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for several weeks (to be determined based on my progress). The first treatment was really only a means of calibrating the lowest voltage required to produce a seizure. The actual treatments will then be done at 6 times the lowest voltage. The side effects tend to get worse with subsequent treatments so we'll see. Dr. Collier said that with the confusion, memory problems and difficulty integrating new information that I would have as a result of the treatments that I probably wouldn't be able to work on Tuesdays or Thursdays in between sessions. The ECT nurse said that people do. I don't have enough allowed (now unpaid) leave for 6 weeks of treatment (I only have 4 weeks left) so I'll have to go back to work on Tues. and Thurs. if I need the full 6 weeks of treatment. I'll need to work it out somehow.
I have a bit of a headache now after napping but that's pretty normal for me anyway. My next ECT is Monday at 9am.
On Tuesday March 18, I had the appointment with the ECT consultant physician (Dr. Collier) who confirmed my shrink's diagnosis and recommendation for ECT. With the nearly complete failure of antidepressants for me over more than 20 years, he said that ECT was my best chance at some form of recovery. Because I have been acutely suicidal these last two weeks and because I have been burning so much sick leave waiting for his appointment, rather than waiting for me to set up and attend various medical appointments which could take months to complete, he gave orders to have me admitted to the hospital to have all necessary labs and tests done all at once ASAP- on Wednesday and Thursday with the plan to have my first treatment on Friday. Excellent!
My stay at the hospital (which is a psychiatric hospital) was interesting. They didn't have any beds in the "mood disorders" wing, so I stayed in the detox wing. I met some nice alcoholics and drug addicts there. Except for the fact that I was not allowed to have any electronic devices, make-up, curling iron, or hair dryer- and the fact that the second night I was there there I got a roommate that snored like a buzz-saw- I had a pretty nice stay. It was mostly boring but I read and socialized with folks in the TV room. My labs, tests, and meetings with the head ECT doctor (Garcia) and social worker (Wally) all went smoothly. I even enjoyed the food.
Early this morning (Friday or Fry-day!) I was gathered and ushered to the ECT floor. Most accounts I've read on ECT said that the ECT section is usually in the basement of a hospital and therefore is a bit gloomy. Not at Seton Shoal Creek- the offices and treatment area were on the 3rd floor and were nicely lit and decorated. Everyone attending to me- the ECT nurses, the anesthesiologist, and the ECT doctor (Brown) were all extremely friendly.
I was placed on a gurney and was fitted with electrodes on my chest for the EKG and on my head for the EEG- tests that monitor heart function and brain waves during the treatment. An IV was placed in my hand (after it was numbed) by the anesthesiologist for delivery of the drugs to briefly knock me out so I wouldn't feel the shock or the ensuing seizure. I was also given muscle relaxers so that my body wouldn't convulse during the seizure. The needle sticks weren't that bad. The whole time the staff was joking, smiling and telling me exactly what was going at every moment. Seconds after the anesthesia drugs were injected, I felt myself going under and said "Here it goes!" From my perspective there was a very short lull in conversation and then they were saying "It's over!" I had no perception of the ECT having happened or that any time had passed. I felt no different. It was the weirdest thing. I was told that I had a good seizure- something that seems odd to say/hear. I had an apple juice in the adjoining recovery room (which unlike descriptions of recovery rooms being a line of many people also waiting to recover, had just two beds and I was the only person there) and was ready to go.
I felt great afterwards. I did not have any of the headache, jaw/neck/throat pain that I was warned about. I was not dizzy or unsteady at all. I did not feel "hit by a truck." I did not experience any memory loss or confusion after this treatment. (Dr. Garcia warned me, "You might remember talking to a bald guy in a yellow shirt but you probably won't remember who I was or my name.") I was actually really elated after it was done- not because the one treatment could have helped my depression yet (they say it usually takes about 6 treatments to have a good response) but because all of the anxiety I had about the procedure was gone (and because I got to go home!) I totally could have driven afterwards but it's required that someone else do so for me. So luckily my friend Cosmo (who works for Apple part-time from home) volunteered to do it for me.
So now I will be having ECT treatments every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for several weeks (to be determined based on my progress). The first treatment was really only a means of calibrating the lowest voltage required to produce a seizure. The actual treatments will then be done at 6 times the lowest voltage. The side effects tend to get worse with subsequent treatments so we'll see. Dr. Collier said that with the confusion, memory problems and difficulty integrating new information that I would have as a result of the treatments that I probably wouldn't be able to work on Tuesdays or Thursdays in between sessions. The ECT nurse said that people do. I don't have enough allowed (now unpaid) leave for 6 weeks of treatment (I only have 4 weeks left) so I'll have to go back to work on Tues. and Thurs. if I need the full 6 weeks of treatment. I'll need to work it out somehow.
I have a bit of a headache now after napping but that's pretty normal for me anyway. My next ECT is Monday at 9am.