What's that line from that book? About the guy pressing his nodes into his neck but all he feels is contempt? This state of being hyper-aware of your body is the new black. All the cool kids are doing it.

. . .Jannette calls me yesterday morning after I wake up realizing I passed out drunk on the lower half of my bed, fully clothed, contacts in, ( Read more... )

Once upon a time it was all a whole hell of a lot easier. Not just because we were younger and more resilient, but mostly because we just didn't really give a shit. I guess that was good in some ways ( Read more... )

I can't help but notice when people are struggling to wrest an identity not from their situation and their place in all of this (you know?), but from the people they know and the things they like and things of that sort. I sympathize, a little. Jannette's I think used-to-be best friend came over to say hi today, and she always makes me sad in that ( Read more... )

I guess you'd imagine me heartless. Easy enough, I admit. Heartless or maybe it's a raisin. Small, shriveled and black like a raisin. Fitting, living in Fresno, surrounded by all those wilted grapes.

Naturally, of course, they also mourn who do not wear black. Sing it.


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It was the very beginning of the 21st century or the very end of the 20th. I was in Portland and maybe you were in Los Angeles or somewhere in your parents' home and when I look out at the hills just south of our window one time I imagine you hopping on a plane headed north ( Read more... )

This is the be all end all.
The real deal.
The genuine article.
The bottom line.
The Truth.
The instar omnium.

Ignore this.


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There are very few things that are more fun that staying up on Ambien. A suggestion: Try writing it down before the Ambien Amnesia hits you. Then you can simultaneously laugh at and scare yourself. i.e...
my com0puyer is made out of colorful plastic and other stringy things orb around the monitor which, itse'f is simply a ( Read more... )

Played hooky yesterday to go shopping. I hadn't gotten enough sleep anyway, and I wasn't showing up for work in that condition. I've learned my lesson. So, without even showering, I pull on some jeans and a t-shirt and slip on some flip-flops and head to the mall. That place freaks my shit out, but it's the closest Origins counter and my supply of ( Read more... )

Apropos of nothing at all, I freaked out at work and had to come home today. Almost freaked out. I was just in a really terrible mood to begin with, and things weren't running very smoothly what with security people visiting and deadline mail coming in, so I left after two hours. Set me off, almost. Like teeth-grinding angry and maybe a little over ( Read more... )

You can't imagine the stark ecstasy I've been experiencing these past couple of weeks. I'm back in town, I'm all moved in to my awesome new apartment, I've got a schedule to stick to that whips me into shape and pays me to sit at a desk and gossip, but most importantly, I'm back in town. And really, you really don't appreciate things like ( Read more... )