I just don't feel like writing. Isn't that something? Isn't that a strange novelty? It's only that the spirit doesn't move me, or maybe that my only impetus is discomfort ( Read more... )

I knew turning 26 would do something to me -- some neutral sort of strange something, at the very least, just like every other birthday -- but I never imagined it would be so immediately physical. Can you feel yourself getting older? One month into it and I feel it so well, I can practically hear it. I used to hold private sleep marathons every ( Read more... )

DJ, protect me from my clothes! Find the shadow people, too! I think we should have a party with the three bottles of beer left in the fridge. DJ, you kinda look upside-down on my lap and you're not barking at our visitors. That's ok, they're Mexican puppets. Sebastian might like them, but Mom didn't bring him over today because it's just you and ( Read more... )

If I'd had any say in the matter, all of my parts would still be floating around inside my parents. They'd spread from their heads to their feet, all these little bits of me, with no worries and no final convergence to make them whole. No survival instinct but no responsibilities, either. They'd be happy in their oblivion, too, all of my little ( Read more... )

There’s nothing more disgusting than desperation. It’s the most unattractive of human traits. Grasping at straws. That idiot humor. Those attempts at irony that just come across as a sad sort of sarcasm. That longing. But if wanting something so badly just to eventually toss it aside isn’t just as sad, then what is it? Explain that to me. It’s all ( Read more... )

Everyone always talks about the fear of death. Everyone writes about it and sings about it and paints about it and there's always a sympathetic understanding about it in some sort of way. The idea that your survival instinct is no match for something so big, but no matter who you are and no matter what your situation -- misanthrope, suicidal, about ( Read more... )

Not that they're especially important or symbolic or anything like that, but it's those mushrooms I keep mulling over more than anything else.


( Read more... )

"I'm sorry to bother you, but are you who I think you are ( Read more... )

All this talk of Jannette is just because I so often miss her, and she's driving up the 5 right at this very moment to move in with me for a while, and it's a mixed bag of feelings because I really enjoy living alone but having her around might be good. Good for the soul and the system but maybe not quite for the sanity, actually ( Read more... )

I'm popping Advil like candy for two days now, and the headache lets up only slightly and of its own volition (which is never, mostly, and begrudgingly if and when) so, naturally, one can only assume that Jannette, my sister (and by sister I mean younger and not twin, as the following exposition might suggest) is currently suffering the same cruel ( Read more... )