Stuff is sooo crazy right now. Ever since new years eve... I dunno. Emotions in my head are going crazy. My heart seems to be pretty firm though. None of you even know what I'm talking about but that is okay. I just needed to get it out. Ugh... I should go to sleep. If only HE would talk to me. If only HE would say something to me. This ( Read more... )

Okay I'm going to be drinking and stuff tonight. YAY... but it seems that the holidays are extremely hard for me. Christmas sucked... not just becuase we didn't celebrate, but it sucked becuase I wasn't with Jeff. It was just a reminder that we were over. I wanted soooo much to spend Christmas with him... it didn't happen. And now today is New ( Read more... )

So just a quick note on something I have been thinking about. I was so unhappy for so long. I remember hanging out with Jorge on a few occassions and him doing something or saying something that struck me as funny and I would laugh histerically. The part I remember though wasn't what he said or did, it was what I was thinking as I laughed. I ( Read more... )

Sooooooooo.... I think I have totally found my new passion in life. When Jeff and I broke up I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to think. I remember sitting on the phone asking Matt what the hell I was going to do with my time. I mean yeah I can always sit and read a book, but all the time? Come on now. Well guess what I figured it ( Read more... )

Why do I indulge? The alcohol last night just about killed me. I still think I may be drunk (and I STOPPED consuming at like 9PM) I only drank for an hour, but the amount of alcohol that went in me in the short amount of time is amazing. I've never drank that much. Yes... I'm still tipsy. Thank god Melanie is driving today becuase I don't ( Read more... )

So my night tongiht is devoted to writing an announcement to all my friends and family as well as Jeff's that the wedding is canceled. UGH! I swear that this is supposed to get easier as time goes on, but it seems to just keep getting harder. Sometimes it's hard to deal with the fact that it is all happening. SIGH.... I'm not sure what I'm ( Read more... )

Who had horrible roommate problems this semster?

I did! I did!

Who had horrible fiance problems this semster?

I did! I did!

Who had 18 credit hours this semester?

I did! I did!

Who got four A's and two B's this semester?

I did! I did!

Fuck you all bitches!!!

I have so many things to say. Yet I know becuase there are sooo many, I will only get about 10% out. But maybe that will help me feel better. Who really knows ( Read more... )

God please give me the strength for what I am about to do. I know its wrong.. but all I can think and feel is that when he's gone... I'll be completely alone in my life. He really does mean a lot to me.... I still love him. Gosh this is the hardest day of my life.

The question what do you want has been asked of me so many times in the last few days. I can answer it finally. I want a chance. I want the people who love me, think they love me, or want to love me, to give me a chance. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Some people make more than others. Those people should be given a right to fix ( Read more... )