Alone............thats how Ive been feeling
I go to school, surrounded by people
go to work... surrounded by people
come "home", surrounded by people
I feel lost when a rare moment of free time comes along.....who do I call or talk to? I've lost faith in my so called friends and family.....despite being surrounded by people, I find myself not speaking ( Read more... )

Ive been wanting to write.....but I smoke too much

I miss my dad so much its fucking insane.....Couldn't explain to you what my problem has been lately....I just simply want the entire world to fuck off and die. So much has happened the past year and a half... not having him here has been taking its toll on my sanity. A simple 5 minute phone call never failed to put an entirely stressful scenario ( Read more... )

 Holy fuck I am exhausted......and feel like documenting the moment.
My legs are sore and my back feels broken. So what??
Don’t know how much more I can take before going apeshit at how boring and repetitive my life has become. I feel so LAME!!!!!

And………..I am left utterly confused….and when I look at you, my mind goes on a fucking trip………or maybe ( Read more... )

So I only write anything in this bitch when its late as hell and I should be sleeping….
I’ve decided that all the electives I’m required to take will consist of all the writing classes CF has, and hopefully criminal justice if it doesn’t bore me too much………The concept fascinates me right now, and I think the field needs ME to make it a better ( Read more... )

As of late, my brain is a complicated web of.......bullshit?

And one day, I'm gonna figure it out....or it will fall into place....or whatever....but RIGHT NOW, that's not the scenerio. RIGHT NOW, I need to focus on ME, on MY schooling, on MY work, on MY family, MY own ass......I don't get the respect I deserve from a selective few, no matter how ( Read more... )

Delay the hurtful words
Of complicated overcast
Please take the message that I'm
Picking up my chin at last
I said my confidence
It gets stronger when you're next to me
But we pray from miles away
In quest for what we long to be

I might crumble, I might take a fall again
Still missing you
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
But you're my everlasting ( Read more... )

So after overanalyzing my life to death, I have realized that  I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not that it matters........it's not like I can get any of the options with the snap of a finger.......so I'm left confused as hell for no reason.......Which doesn't change the fact that how I feel is also inevitable........GODDAMNIT

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVEE talking to you.

Like when you're not talking, I'm distraught at the fact that you're not talking.
usually when people talk I'm pissed unless I initiated the conversation....
I hang on to your every word.......one track mind.....nothing else exists..............

its amazing the way different components of life ( Read more... )

I'm the most vulnerable that I've been with the whole situation.........I love everything but the actual vulnerability...........Some might argue that I'm fucking stupid.........It's like playing with fire after already feeling the burn from the very flame you're toying with.....Can you blame me for having doubts?......for being scared shitless? I  ( Read more... )