I know I never update this, but honestly, this post is as much for myself as anyone, so that I can convince myself yesterday wasn't a dream ( Read more... )

Earlier today, my co-worker's computer froze up on her, leading her to exclaim very loudly (and in complete seriousness), "Why did my computer just go down on me!?"

I'm still laughing about it.

I'd like to start by saying that this post is dedicated to Alana, who I've never actually met but was thoughtful enough to give me a bottle of tequila for my birthday. So cheers to you, Alana. Me gusta mucho. I don't speak spanish, so I'm not actually sure what I just typed ( Read more... )

I have been criticized in the past (a few hours ago) for not updating this more frequently (hi Alana), and I realized it is true: I never update this thing. Mainly because nothing really strikes me as fascinating enough to merit wasting my time typing ( Read more... )

Background: I have a horrfic eye stye/tear duct infection/creature sprouting out of my eye. It is huge and looks like someone punched me in the face and I think it may actually have its own pulse. Everyone who sees it thinks I am abused (ex: my boss took one look at it and said "Who are you dating?" in all seriousness). Therefore, I have taken to ( Read more... )

It looks like I got punched in the eye with a tire iron. I feel so, SO pretty.

(to be read in a sing-song voice) Paaaaaaaaaassssssive aggggggressssssssssssssivvvvvvvvvve (to be read as Jerry Seinfeld's girlfriend's stomach voice) la la la!

Ok - this was initially an e-mail to Bones, but I feel it sums up last night quite well ( Read more... )

Today at work, the mail guy caught me checking out my ass in the mirror.

It was a proud moment for me.

Just so you know, I'm not dead.