When you love someone, you cant really see yourself with anyone but that person. And when you’ve obtained feelings for this person your heart is blinded by all the things that are wrong with this person. It breaks my heart to think.....I mean know, that Tom isnt the right guy for me. Hes actually not the person I thought he was at all.
Other ( Read more... )

Have you ever come across a time in your life where you just stopped asking yourself, “What was I thinking?”......”How did I become this person?”...........”What did I lose to get here.....or Who?” And then asked yourself something even more important, “Who am I?” Recently, while I’ve had sometime on my hands and my mind in an overloaded overdrive ( Read more... )

IN ADVANCE I WILL SAY THE FIRST PART OF THIS ACTUAL JOURNAL WAS WRITTEN ABOUT A WEEK AGO...IVE JUST BEEN TO BUSY TO ACTUALLY PUT IT UP. PART 2 IS WHAT I WROTE TODAY ( Read more... )

Has anyone in Florida even pondered why 200 extra police were hired for New Years Eve night? Thats 200 called in special not including Orlando’s own finest. We have dropped our guard quite a bit....but honestly who noticed? We just take Bush’s word. I mean after all he is the man America wanted, why not trust him....our own president would never ( Read more... )

Holidays suck....especially Christmas. I hate it because people are such hypocrites. There were people at my work that got me gifts that I don’t even like...like BLAH Cindy....actually it was clearly obvious that we do hate each other. I didnt get her shit, like I intended - staying true. (Representing the Truth, as always) She on the other hand ( Read more... )

Perhaps Im coming off wrong, or a bit confused. Let me start by saying Tom and I are Friends and only friends. Being friends is weird, but I don’t see us really becoming buddies so I don’t see a need to worry if I can keep an act up or not. I have officially been clean for 3 days now from anything and today I turned down illegal drugs. So when it ( Read more... )

So I have been so depressed and Im on medication and I don’t think its helping. I still think about suicide, I think the only thing that really keeps me sane is xanax. It relaxes me and eventually I fall asleep from it. Basically it’s a drug that fucks with my mind making me think everything is okay and its solution for my problem is sleep so that ( Read more... )

Thursday has been my favorite day for the past few years, it’s the day people tend to go about lightly and get excited cause Friday is a day away and their weekend will soon begin. A year ago I wouldve made a long distance call to keep it alive between me and Tom and find out our weekend plans. Now I think I find Thursdays more stressful, they tend ( Read more... )

Lately I just keep getting surprised by my own actions. I think its becoming official....I am growing up! This weekend I officially became a woman!!!! I was so nervous, thinking and knowing this point in my life would have to come sooner or later...and I couldnt be more happier. Sooner is definitely better, as a matter of fact after my first time ( Read more... )

Im always thinking, and thinking and OVER thinking. Not to mention analyzing every second I exist beating out my mind every second with my fist....not really, but you get the idea....I was always told from young to always place myself into someone elses shoes. Of course everyone knows that saying. But I was thinking....Do we always gotta cry? Do ( Read more... )