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tonight, etc.
I can't decide if it's a whole lot of nothings or just too few somethings that's been eating at me these past few weeks. I keep thinking and thinking and thinking when there's really not much to think about and it's driving me crazy, all this nitpicking and fuss over absolutely nothing ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
All those sayings about not having regrets, particularly things that "once made you smile"? Bullshit, if you ask me. Are the lessons you've learned really worth you feeling like shit every time you look back on it? Because I'd rather just forget about it instead. After all, it seems like that was the path you took anyway, and you don't seem to mind ( Read more... ) -
on another note
Scrolling through my old entries (dating back to... six years ago omg) made me realize how much I overshare on these things ( Read more... ) -
the truth
The reason why I'm finding it so hard to think about the future these days is because I had always pictured you in it. And really, it's just been a lot easier to avoid thinking about it than deal with the gaping black hole you left eating its way through everything else. As if this whole "future" business wasn't scary enough to begin with, now I ( Read more... ) -
new year's tradition, v.2010
Found while cleaning my drafts and preparing for this year's! Didn't get to post it in time for last year, but better late than never I suppose.
I know it's not always very healthy to look back, but this was a great trip down memory lane. Despite everything, I am still so very thankful. 2010--good, bad, and everything in between--was quite a year ( Read more... ) -
what to do now
So much riding on the next three months. I've gotten too used to this whole "come what may" mindset I picked up that fateful January that I've forgotten how it is to take the future seriously, for a change. Every time I think about it I get blindly hopeful at first, then uncertain, but ultimately it just leaves me with a huge sense of dread.
I'm not ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Selfish, impatient, cruel. Things that I know I am, but feel like I have the right to be--all because I finally know better.
At least I'm learning. -
frankly,
I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. But what I've come to realize from all of this is that the more I think about, the more reasons I give myself to stay unhappy. I'm taking this as a mixture of concomitant and consequent ignorance, but really more of the former. Simply put: sheer stupidity ( Read more... ) -
but then again
none of that explains why I am falling apart on this couch on the first floor of the Rizal library.
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture
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#wordvomit
Lately I feel like I've just been going through the motions, biding my time until something truly worthy of my time and attention comes along. Something important. Significant. Relevant. Something I can really, really care for again. I guess I should be grateful that most days I'm just too tired to notice, but is this really all it's amounting to?
( Read more... )