Fic: Inside-Outside (Remix)

[honeylocusttree]

Inside-Outside

Summary:Remix of tifaching's fic Flashback. Sam POV. Written for the Remix Challenge at hoodie_time.
Spoilers: S4-ish
Warnings:Horror, slight gore, disturbing imagery, self harm, language.

Notes:Read the original first. This probably won't work without it.
Acknowledgments: Big thanks to twirlycurls for her prompt and helpful beta, and to hokuton_punch for her dead languages

Comments

[tifaching]

I. Love. You. Really, this is amazing. I love how you took the dialogue and turned it all around using Dean's POV.

"He’s learned better." Thanks for this too, because the "You taught me better." from my fic was my favorite line.

I especially like Dean's view of Sam in hell. His jokes and how everything is going to be his way.

"But Sam’s staring at him like he got it wrong and bleating like skinning Dean is the worst thing he ever heard of. Like he can’t imagine anything more awful. And really? Now?" This was the heart of the story for me. Sam making Dean wait. Keeping the things inside longer. Then pretending to be appalled. At least in Dean's mind.

I'm going to have to think about this more and come back with more praise, because I don't think I'm expressing how amazed I am by this properly.

THANK YOU!! :D

[honeylocusttree]

^_________^

I recently had someone request to do a remix of a fic, so I understand now how it can be a little scary, letting someone else have a go at your own work. I'm glad that this delivered. I was very paranoid about making sure I gave it my best effort--I don't even use betas for my own stuff, but since it was someone else's baby, I felt I had a responsibility to use every resource possible.

The Sam-in-Hell bits were kind of a last-minute addition--I needed something to break up the flow a bit, and that seemed to work. But yeah, I always find it much more compelling when the person in power is quiet and even gentle. Much creepier. XD

Thanks for your original fic, and glad you liked this! It was a really interesting challenge and a totally new writing experience. I had a fun.

[tifaching]

You don't need to worry at all about your effort here. I truly think this was a phenomenal remix. I understand your anxiety though. I had my first and so far only remix experience over the summer at kamikazeremix and there you're assigned a fic to remix so you get no choice in the story or pairing or genre and that's pretty nerve wracking. It turned out to be a lot of fun and I am not so nervous about doing a remix now.

I also don't use a beta unless my fic is for someone else but I'm usually pretty happy with what they bring to the story.

I'm glad you decided to add the Sam in hell bits because they added a huge amount to the story. And yes to the quiet and gentle bit. It's much more creepy that way.

Thank you again for this. I don't know where you usually cross post, but the mod at spn_dark_vault would love this.

[maypoles]

Whoah.

I love the original and I love this. I just re-read the original, and seeing where you took all the different threads... I really think this is a perfect remix. And omg, that last line! O_O Amazing stuff.

[honeylocusttree]

I really think this is a perfect remix

Yikes. High praise. Glad you enjoyed it, and pleased that it seems to have accomplished what I meant it to. This was my first time remixing something so I paid a lot of attention to detail and tried hard to make this a tribute to the original. It was an interesting exercise to take on someone else's work and I'm so glad that it paid off!

That last line was kind of dumb luck. I didn't have a clear plan for an ending, but it seemed to sort of slot into place. Sometimes that happens...

I enjoyed this challenge a lot. Thanks so much!

[salty_catfish]

Heh, so I klicked this on the master list, thinking 'how did I miss a hell flashback fic?' and only after reading realized that it's brand new. Eeee!
Didn't Eliot use the same Augustine quote?
It really reads like the perfect counterpart to tifaching's story. What the remix really fleshed out to me was just why Dean's so horrified by Sam stitching him up. How, seen from inside the perpetuating cycle of punishment the in-between is such a shock. I think what is so appealing (to me, that is) about this particular brand of fiction is the idea that Hell will change believes on a very fundamental level.
I also tremendously enjoyed how you conveyed the jumbled-up thought process (and I'm usually not the greatest fan of elliptical sentences), mixing the different Sams in the cursive parts.

I'm a little in love with the first paragraph, too. Just the rythm of the sentences. It is a reminiscence to Castiel's glass shattering, right?

[honeylocusttree]

Ahh, you noticed the Eliot connection, did you? Yeah, originally it was going to be the "Oh Lord, Thou pluckest me out" part, but then I went and pulled the whole book (online--love the internet!) and there were other parts in the paragraph that I liked a bit better. And I'd intended to use some kind of European non-English language quote anyway, so looking up the original was a natural outgrowth of that...

I really enjoyed the opportunity to explore the reasons behind Dean's freaking out. That yeah, he's not thinking about things in any way close to what Sam, or any normal human (at that time) might be thinking. At this point he's just too far gone to have that kind of thought process. Poor guy!

I'm usually not the greatest fan of elliptical sentencesI gather that there are those who dislike that style of writing...I started using it ages ago, though, and got pretty comfortable with it, so coming back to it here seemed like a natural direction to take. It's like the 1st person POV thing...it never occurs to me that it might be a

[salty_catfish]

Yay, obscure references in dead languages. (Never fails to amuse me. "Look at how much I've read!") Next time try something in Ancient Greek, or maybe Coptic ;).
Well, I don't actively dislike fragmentary styles. It just sometimes throws me with unbidden thoughts of "wait, that's not a sentence!". I need to be in the mood for a more poetic or modern style and I'm really a bit of a binge-reader when online. With this stream-of-consciousness stuff its really not much of an issue.
Heh, maybe I was trying too hard to be literal with the shards. It would make sense chronologically.

[honeylocusttree]

Nono, it's "Look how much I've researched." God knows I've never read anything in Latin. I actually was kind of expecting it to be in Greek, actually. Not knowing anything at all about Roman Catholic saints. I know no Coptic, but I used to know a little Egyptian. Very little. -_-;

[twirlycurls]

This is just so amazingly good. I am in awe of you, and this. :)

[honeylocusttree]

XD Thanks again for your help! I really wanted to give it my best effort, and am so glad it's been well-received.

[hokuton_punch]

Fffffffff oh gods how CREEPILY AMAZING, DAMN. o.o Augh, will never sleep now.

[honeylocusttree]

Bahaha! That's what I live for--depriving you of sleep!

Seriously, though, glad you liked it. I was thinking yesterday that I need to get an icon for posts containing 'gore.' I quite like yours, though...:D