Bruises - NewS - PG-13

[hizashikage]

Title: Bruises
Author: anamuan
Pairing/Group: RyoPi
Rating:PG-13
Word Count: 1,545
Warnings: Remember, smoking kills.
Notes: Originally for procreational for the je_holiday gift exchange. I'm glad you liked it dear. You comment made me insanely happy. Also thanks to anyone else who commented. ♥♥♥ to you all :DDDD
Thanks to sillyandmorbid and nihongofrancais for reading it over for me and giving me 'second

Comments

[procreational]

I like the bruises on my heart because they're a map of all the places you haven't been yet. Places you'll go someday, broken places you'll fix simply by being there.

What do you think? I could read it to you on Shounen Club, and you could read me a letter back about how I make you scream in bed. The fans would love it. So would management. But I guess it wouldn't really work after all. So since I'll never tell you, I hope you can understand without me actually saying it.

THIS IS STILL MY MOST FAVORITE THING EVER. T_T ♥ I SERIOUSLY. I SERIOUSLY LOVE THIS SO SO MUCH. NIKKI ILU ILU ILU♥♥♥

*squishes*

[anamuan]

I am so so so happy you liked it. jehols' assignments were sent out, and then not very long afterwards i friended you and basically worried since then whether or not it would be to your taste. You asked for 'something with Ryo or something with Yamapi' so i took the easy way out and made it RyoPi. ^^;

errr. i'm not saying anything worth saying, so. I'm going to stop now, but. I'm really glad you liked this. ^____^

[anamuan]

:DDDDD Thank you so much for reading. I'm really happy you liked it ♥

[mycroftnext]

UNDYING LOVE AND GRATITUDE TO YOU FOR LETTING ME EDIT!!!!!!! I get more glee than is probably legal when I edit with you.

And may I just say, finally, finally, finally I get to comment and tell you in a public forum just how good this fic really is. And comment I will in excruciating detail, so hold onto your socks babe.

Starbursts across my back and shoulder blades.
I liked all the imagery of that opening paragraph, but this one was what really made it for me.

Minefields shaped like old, ragged relationships. Knife-wounds from angry words and vicious tongues. Battle zones and foxholes of past mistakes and too much to drink.
Oh heavens, and then this part. The first paragraph gently drew me into this kind of dreamy introspective world, and then this paragraph just grabbed me by the heart and wouldn't let go. Each of those lines speaks volumes.

knew that it wasn't all going to be fun or easy and that there were prices to pay; it was too late to start complaining now. But damn if the commute wasn't hell anyway.That's so Ryo!

I did mention that I was going to quote in a self-indulgently extensive manner, right?

[mycroftnext]

a moment where they could listen to the non-silence
I can add no more, it just needed to be quoted.

But some things you do because you need to, not because you want to, and Pi needed this. Ryo needed Pi, so to him, one thing meant the other.
That had the potential to be the mushiest thing ever, but you did it so matter-of-factly that it comes of both sweet and realistic. Your talent is staggering, and I want to be you.

Ryo didn’t think Pi realized what he wasn’t saying, but Ryo understood it anyway.
The construction of this sentence! I feel like you needed an architect's plan to get it so perfect, but I know you just wrote it. Guh. It's so perfect in style, and it invokes so much emotion! My heart goes all melty (and not in a cavity-inducing sort of way).

he didn't have to look at Pi to know how he'd be smiling slightly, one hand held lightly over the new mark on his neck, savoring the feeling of knowing it was there.Loved it from the beginning and still do. Great image and it really underlines the reciprosity of their

it's embarrassing, but i'm not sure how much of this reply will fit. we'll see.

[anamuan]

of course, you realize that i have been waiting nearly as long to read your comment as you have been waiting to make it, yes? and since i want to hear all the parts you liked/disliked and your impressions of them, i would hardly call this quoting 'self-indulgent.'

oh, i think this is the best thing i've written, hands down. definitely no argument from me. that's why i was worried about reveals and nothing else being like it. ^_~ Something about this one, it was like i feel writing is supposed to be somehow, when it's at it's best. I know you know that despite the hours, the days, the weeks we spent editing this with a surgical staff and a fine-toothed comb (to mix all kinds of metaphors), the majority of this was written in a day. Most of the second letter was written before jehols on a whim, and i went "damn. i need to make something out of this," but had no idea what, and you forced me to write another 400, 500 words or so during the edit process, but most of it was written in the 5 hours after I got my assignment. I wish

Way to keep it to one comment box!

[mycroftnext]

I still contend I suffered more than you because I have a one-upmanship complex because you had other people to comment and distract you. I had very few other fics that I edited with you to squee about. *pretends that's actually logical since it's late and benadryl makes my head not work so well*

it was like i feel writing is supposed to be somehow, when it's at it's best.
There is nothing quite like that feeling, and I totally agree: I wish that would happen more often for me!

a surgical staff and a fine-toothed comb
And that is what makes you such a fine writer. ;-) Mixing metafore (I just randomly typed that italian without even thinking about it) ftw!

you helped me think my way through this bit. (in case you don't remember) I bounced ideas off you for a long time.You know, it's funny, but some parts I remember specifically helping you with and coming up with specific lines, but there are other parts where all I know is that we talked about it, and I haven't a clue as to which parts came from whom or even how much we talked

[rolling_scone]

I love the tone of this piece.

Both doors closed and there was a moment where they could listen to the non-silence, hear the steady rattling drum of rain hitting the windshield.
that just... it sounds so blue. (as in the colour)

When Yamapi put down his fork, Ryo slid back into Yamapi's lap. Ryo moved in for another kiss--hard, like the first--cigarette dangling loosely from his fingers. It tasted like humidity and smoke.
beautiful. it's so jaded somehow, but mostly longing, and a sporadic happiness. (if that makes sense.)

*_*

awesome.

[anamuan]

i read things as colors sometimes too. I was afraid i was the only one ♥

thank you so much for picking out quotes and telling me what you thought. i love that kind of thing, so i'm ecstatic ^_^ I'm glad you liked it.

[mycroftnext]

I'll do this here because I'm lazy and I remembered when I saw your screenname even though it would probably be more apropos elsewhere.

anamuan sent me your fic in an edited version (I don't read smut), because she told me that I absolutely had to read it. It was very very impressive. The parallel timelines and how you characterized everyone was really amazing. You are much better than you give yourself credit for. You were able to create a really interesting ambiance of longing that I really liked, even though it squished my heart into a little pancake

[rolling_scone]

nawww, that's so cute X3 a couple years back I made a proper post where I recorded songs and explained everything, but I couldn't this year :P it's probably my favourite Swedish tradition, and the only thing I miss from grade school. it's quite scary to walk around with a candle in your hand around so much hair, but I've never been Lucia, and I'm glad for it, because it gets really really warm after a while, and if you move your head too much you get candle wax in your hair. I like the electrical lusse-crowns kids wear. safe and easy

[yuxo]

*is not here*

a;lksdjalkjeworiaupdsngkQ#@$%qewlgj you didn't just kill me dead with ryopi, did you? ;_; I MISS YOU SO MUCH ALREADY THIS REALLY ISN'T FAIR DDDD:

crying ;_; ilu

*ninjas away*

[anamuan]

i miss you too! hang in there!!!

i hope i didn't kill you. But i am so happy you enjoyed it! ♥♥

good luck, dear. you can do it!