What ho. [His typical greeting is a little less exuberant than usual.]I'm sad to say that that I've come to the realization that this Wooster isn't really cut out for this job. It's a dashed tricky thing, wardening, a more convoluted process than making tea even. So the time has come for me to throw in the towel, make a strategic retreat, biff ( Read more... )

By Jove, there's a great flurry of talk going on. Is there something important happening? If so, this Wooster is willing and able to lend strength, wit, and...thingness to the cause.

I knew I wasn't imagining things when I thought something was watching me. Maybe next time people will take note of my keen observations. [No, he really was imagining things earlier. But the timing is convenient.]

[Private to the Admiral]

What ho, old chap! I say, it's not very preux of you to make a poor beazel bath semi-publicly, and it's ( Read more... )

How do you do, Lady DeCobray. [A little more formal than usual to start out with, because Ana is a member of the peerage and a stranger.]Since the Professor biffed off to parts unknown, it seems that the Admiral decided that it simply wouldn't do to have me at loose ends for too long. He's assigned me to be your warden. Would you mind terribly ( Read more... )

[Bertie's been reading bad pulp fiction. The title on the spine of one of the books near him is "The Haunting of the Queen Mary." Another is "Ghosts of the Titanic."]What ho, my fellow passengers ( Read more... )

What ho, Professor Fate! We never did finish that questionnaire, you know. Somehow we got on the topic of eggs instead and never quite came back around to the main point. In fact, not only did we not finish, we didn't really get much of a start, either. So I'm just going to assume that you answered "yes" to question number one, "Are you evil?" ( Read more... )

Miss Lua? Is there a Miss Lua here?

My item [holds up a pulp mystery novel] is telling me that I'm supposed to look out for you now as well as the Professor. I didn't realize this wardening business would be such hard work.

Perhaps we should meet up, get to know each other, what? I have a small questionnaire we could do together.

[Bertie's hair is mussed, his collar undone, his eyes bleary. He speaks a bit more quietly and without as much joie de vivre as usual.]

I do think I was a bit more zozzled than I realized last night. [Four nights ago. Bertie was in a Barge coma and doesn't realize it. He missed the entire mirrorverse.] One of Jeeves' brilliant pick-me-ups ( Read more... )

[Not private filtered at all. Bertie doesn't quite get the filter thing unless the other person filters first.]Professor Fate? I say, Professor, are you there ( Read more... )

[This little pamphlet appears across town overnight, nailed haphazardly to hitching posts, doors, walls--anything in a public place that's wood. It's a clear sign that loony Mr. Wooster is back in town after a three month sojourn into the wild. Feel free to rip up the pamphlets, graffiti over them, or run into Wooster. He's actually quite ( Read more... )