Angelique Joliette

[araeph]

This is the kind of beautifully bad where even the smallest details are stupid. It’s layers on layers of badness, bad at the largest level and at the smallest. It’s like some great Mandelbrot fractal of bad.
-Wolfychan

Gather ’round, heave_ho crew, and listen to the tale of a Sue so beautifully bad that I could scarce go a paragraph without chuckling or gaping in

Comments

[araeph]

I'm so glad I did this one, too. It is truly the epitome of unintentional hilarity.

For me, though, by far the most amazing part is that it exists.

[bizarreoptimism]

mon pauvre Pitt, he is so silly, so childish, so enfantile, and while he does satisfy me, I have always wanted you, mon amour. He would rather spend time with his fight club than avec moi,"

_HAHAHAHAHHAHAA_!!!

You know what the real tragedy of this fic is?? It's not this hilarious on PURPOSE. Had it been this hilarious on PURPOSE, this would have been a work of sheer GENIUS.

[bizarreoptimism]

I love you AND your icon! XD

[bizarreoptimism]

Also:

The image she presented would have aroused a dead man, but Jack continued to be oblivious of the tempting morsel offered to him. Jack is now 98% out of character.

Ha-HAAAAAAAAA! It's funny 'cause it's TRUE!!! :D

[darth_gojira]

Where there's a will there's a way, but since there's no Will, there's no way I'm buying this.

The list of accents is just brilliant. Between his words and deeds in this fic, I think Jack has brain damage

[bizarreoptimism]

Letting them actually GO TO LOOK AT YOUR CHARTS, and PLOT YOUR COURSE, that's something you need to trust them for.

I'm no sailor, I've just read a lot of nautical-term-filled books -- and even I thought that something was a bit un-kosher with that line of reasoning from this particular Suethor. I mean -- weren't charts in those days kinda highly prized, to boot? Wouldn't it have been kinda a big deal to let somebody fiddle around with them unsupervised??

[p0wdermonkey]

While we're picking those nits, her French grammar sucks too.

He did not sail wit' us c'est jour. C'est jour = it is day. The word she wants is aujourd'hui.

But at least Mlle Joliette maintains a respectful distance by calling Jack 'vous', not 'tu' throughout.

There's plenty more juicy French nits, but monkey is tired of picking them now.

[goodbananas]

I hope for their sake that most celebrities never run across this stuff. Real Person Fic (or whatever bastardization this is) is just toooo stalkerish for me. I obsess about characters & let the real people have their own lives.

Though for this particular one, I think Angelique and Pittcairn might find it amusing in its godawful over-the-topness. :) (but may Orlando Bloom never run across an MPREG!)