"Mommy, when we wake up can we clean the whole house?"

"Absolutely!

"I just want to make Alaska beautiful."

"Alaska is beautiful, baby."

"Oh.  Just our house isn't?"

"...evidently."

Beebs:  "Mommy, what do nipples do?"

Me:  "Uh, do you want a cookie?"

After a birthday party today, Munchkee was showing off her goodie bag to her grandma.  As they examined a little bag of Twizzlers together, Grandma told her it was it was red licorice flavor and Munchkee excitedly declared, "red liquor is GOOD!"

Me:  "JORDY!  Come here and get dressed!"

Munchkee:  "You mean PIRATE Jordy!"

Me:  "Pirate Jorday, get up here right now please!"

Munchkee:  "Or you will spank Pirate Jordy?"

I ( Read more... )

I've spent the several weeks leading up to my vacation departure stressing about volcanoes and ash plumes and canceled flights.  So I had to laugh when I checked on things a few hours before our flight was scheduled to leave and found that our flight had been delayed an hour and a half.

Because I knew that the volcano needed just that much more ( Read more... )

On Easter my brother Paul was convinced to show off his circus skills and juggle some plastic apples to amuse the kids.  Everyone was impressed...except Beebs.

"Can you juggle chainsaws?"

While my parents were caring for my children for the week, they were under strict instructions to diligently record, document and describe every funny event, quote and occurrence for me to journal upon my arrival home.  Now, either my kids were completely unfunny without me as a catalyst, or my parents were too busy merely surviving to notice ( Read more... )

Today the kids and I ran some last minute errands including a trip to guitarget for some black dress shoes for Beebs.  We tried on a few pairs, testing sizes and what not.  When I finally found a pair that I liked I put them on his feet and asked him how they felt ( Read more... )

A conversation between Munchkee and a lady.

"Where are Mommy and Daddy going?"

"Um, to Mexi-BABO!"

"What are they going to do there?"

"Um,  go to McDonalds and sleep and just run around."

Thaaat's pretty accurate, actually.