I don't want to be sad anymore...I just want to be happy with everything, but the thing with Crystal just will not go away. I do not by anymeans want her memory to go away, but I want the sadness to. My heart breaks a little everytime I think about what happens or say her name or see something that reminds me of her. She always knew what to do with ( Read more... )

The education process is taking a toll. I like school but the classes and homework are dragging the fun out of everything. I am a Resident Assistant in Parker next year. I was excited but sad too. I cannot be Carly's roommate next year. The RA position is very good though, and will look great on a resume plus I want to be able to help people and ( Read more... )

"I Feel So"
Boxcar Racer

Sometimes

I wish I was brave
I wish I was stronger
I wish I could feel no pain
I wish I was young
I wish I was shy
I wish I was honest
I wish I was you not I

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callused
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

Sometimes
( Read more... )

I wish all of this hurt and pain would just stop. The Crystal thing still hurts so much...like beyond belief. The Ben thing hurts too because it is looking like there is no chance of us being alright or together again. The Nick thing makes me very sad because I am scared for him. I will miss him so much. The Brian thing was horrible to hear. What ( Read more... )

RENT was absolutely amazing and i loved it VERY much!!! I met Val and she is such a sweetie and a half! I loved going to the movie with everyone. It was Nick, Ben, me, Val, Brian, Clinton, Torrie, Steph, Katie, and Brittany! OMG i loved it so much! thank you for going with me!!!

Today is thanksgiving and we went to Georgie's with auntie Sharon. ( Read more... )

*sigh* wow! well umm i have been having a great week! we saw harry potter and i slept in a cardboard box, i teepeed crystal's bed, played ddr (tournament and with brian and lex), actually did my paper bfore sunday night, and ben is visiting tomorrow!!! wow! i am having so much fun! my wednesday:

NOVEMBER 23rd

R  E  N  T  !!!

wellyes i am ( Read more... )

Well today was eventful, i must say. A ton of ups and downs occurred, but all in all it ended well. Thismorning I went with chris to his house and his family is very cool. Then we went to visit Chris's friend Ben at work. Afterwards, we went to pick up Jason, then we all went to visit Ben again but he got off of work, so we went to his house. We ( Read more... )

Wow...what can i say? College is great! The people I know are SO great!!! Right now we (me, carly, ray and chris) are watching Donny Darko and it is a freaky bunny movie!!! I am having fun and i am trying to keep in touch with people. I got a card from home and it was cool!!! THANK YOU MOM ( Read more... )

I figured I should update since my sister is nagging me about it. It was a rough day and it will definitely be a rough friday night/saturday morning with leaving and junk, but at least I have been packing and I am semi-ready to leave. Leaving my parents and sister and friends will be extremely hard, but I get a once in a lifetime chance to start a ( Read more... )

Ok so today I "babysat" for my sis and her guy friend and it wasn't so bad. Ben came over for lunch and ate peanut butter and jelly. He was so cute! We did talk a little about college yesterday and it was a bit sad...ok a LOT sad but I know that we will be friends.

Oh and also, we are going to Kopps today because they have BUTTER PECAN Oh tear, ( Read more... )